I confirm this to be true...I have read different studies and viewed news shows/articles on how overweight people get less promotions and are treated differently than their slimmer counterparts. I guess I shouldn't be too amazed that a Dr. I saw back in January (when I weighed 175) treated my so differently when I saw him recently (at 117 pounds). He was rude the first time--short and neglected to explain things. I felt like I was treated like a number or a farm animal. My recent visit he obviously didn't recognize me and looked back through his notes (as most Dr.'s do anyhow). He explained things, took extra time with me, and his manner was a complete about face. Now with that said, I have also noticed that people are more respectful of me...this leads me to believe that society places too high a value on beauty and thin people. Was I not a worthy person before I lost weight? I am STILL the same person and my weight loss was never intended for vanity. It happened due to a medical condition, stress, and then a need to eat clean to counteract the condition and stress. Has anyone else encountered this?
Demi
Yep. I totally agree. People treated me very different when I was at my highest. One memory, is for example, ordering a sandwich and let's say a place like subway, they would automatically assume I wanted the footlong. I've never been able to eat a footlong sandwich!
I was noticing this again today at the office. Males in upper management now smile when we pass in the hallway -- and I don't even know them. And the women look me over for a second (hair, face, clothes, shoes) and then look away. I swear that before, when I was heavy, they took about as much notice of me as they did a piece of office furniture or one of those motivational posters on the walls.
I was noticing this again today at the office. Males in upper management now smile when we pass in the hallway -- and I don't even know them. And the women look me over for a second (hair, face, clothes, shoes) and then look away. I swear that before, when I was heavy, they took about as much notice of me as they did a piece of office furniture or one of those motivational posters on the walls.
So so true. I now get more second looks from men too.
I also think it has to do with our self-esteem. When we were larger, we had such a negative self image that we expected others to treat us as the lowly beings we saw ourselves as.
Oh absolutely. PART of it is a difference in the way we carry ourselves. I know that when I was overweight, I wore plain frumpy clothes, slouched, didn't make eye contact, was quiet, and basically made both an intentional and unconscious effort to be invisible because my self esteem was so low. Now that I'm thinner, I wear bright attractive clothing, I smile more, I have a more confident posture, and I'm no longer trying to blend in with the wall. So of course people are going to respond differently to that.
But, it's simple fact that thinner people are treated differently by both sexes. Even if people do it without realizing it. Quite honestly, I'm sure even we have treated people differently based on attractiveness. Nobody wants to admit that they do it, we're probably not even aware when we're doing it, but I'm willing to admit that I've probably done it before.
One thing I've noticed is that I'm treated more like a "lady" now that I'm thinner. Doors opened for me, people constantly asking if I need help carrying anything or anything of that nature, I dunno...hard to explain. But it's definitely a treatment that I had never gotten before. And it happens even when I go to Walmart in my PJs, messy hair, and haven't showered, hehe.
I used to be embarrassed in grocery stores when I had "junk in my cart and stopped to talk to someone who had a cart full of healthy stuff. Now I'm the cart full of healthy stuff and I found myself checking out outrageously unhealthy carts. Am I becomming prejudiced because I've been making healthy choices for eight months or so? I do agree though that when you are thinner people seem more willing to give you the time of day as if you are more worth while. But I've also noticed that since I've gone down 3-4 sizes that I care more about my appearance which probably indicates higher self worth. When I feel better about myself people may respond more positively towards me.
I used to be embarrassed in grocery stores when I had "junk in my cart and stopped to talk to someone who had a cart full of healthy stuff. Now I'm the cart full of healthy stuff and I found myself checking out outrageously unhealthy carts. Am I becomming prejudiced because I've been making healthy choices for eight months or so? I do agree though that when you are thinner people seem more willing to give you the time of day as if you are more worth while. But I've also noticed that since I've gone down 3-4 sizes that I care more about my appearance which probably indicates higher self worth. When I feel better about myself people may respond more positively towards me.
I find myself doing this also. (With respect to the grocery cart monitoring). Did anyone see "What Would You Do?" this past week where they had the "fit" person reprimand the heavy woman and her daughter for having the cart full of junk food. They were trying to see what reactions other shoppers would have. It was interesting.
I used to be embarrassed in grocery stores when I had "junk in my cart and stopped to talk to someone who had a cart full of healthy stuff. Now I'm the cart full of healthy stuff and I found myself checking out outrageously unhealthy carts. Am I becomming prejudiced because I've been making healthy choices for eight months or so? I do agree though that when you are thinner people seem more willing to give you the time of day as if you are more worth while. But I've also noticed that since I've gone down 3-4 sizes that I care more about my appearance which probably indicates higher self worth. When I feel better about myself people may respond more positively towards me.
I sometimes check carts too. While mine still has a few unhealthy things, I am totally unashamed for people to look at it. It's a lot better than it used to be, that's for sure. BTW, even with my weight people smile at me and men open doors for me. I think it's because i look polite (which I am).
I agree, even at my heaviest I was treated fairly well, but I've always had knock-out kind of confidence (or at least I can make it look that way!). But even now, after losing only about 40lbs or so, I can notice more politeness already, more looks from guys. And maybe it is just the confidence that I get from being on-plan, but it's holding true for me. haha, my problem is that I usually get down to a point where I realize the shift in everyone's nature and start to get more attention from men and it scares me! And then I usually pack it on again. Not this time! This time I could care less, because this is for ME and no one else. :-)
I notice this when I'm with my sister who is thin and beautiful. I can go in a store and the people can be so rude to me for no reason but they'll be super nice to my sister. It's crazy!
I treat attractive people better. This isn't something I'm proud of, and weight isn't the only thing that determines attractiveness, but I've noticed that if I am at a conference, say, where I don't know anybody, I'm a lot more gratified if an attractive person starts talking to me or seeks me out than I am if an unattractive person does. I care more what attractive people think of me: a compliment from someone who is charismatic and cool (which includes more than physical attractiveness, but it is a component) will elevate my spirits more than a compliment from someone who is awkward and unattractive (and weight can be part of that).
I try really hard not to ACT differently to people based on their appearance, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't REACT differently.
Weirdly enough, I haven't noticed huge changes in how people treat me: more smiles, for sure, and more held doors, as mkendrick pointed out, but I think at least part of this is that I don't try as hard: there was a time where I would go way out of my way to be the wittiest, most clever, most wickedly funny person in the room in any situation. I felt like I had to prove I wasn't the fat lazy slob I assumed everyone saw. Now, I'm more willing to just be passive if I feel like it. I can turn off my own schtick.
Last year after I had only lost about 10lbs and was still heavy, I was getting stocking stuffers at World Market (best place to get funky fun doodads and goodies, in my opinion). There was a particular sales clerk named Willard. Average middle-aged kinda dude, but his name from his name tag stuck with me since it was so unusual. I went into the store three times on various days getting gifts. Every single time, Willard was there, and every single time, Willard was an a-hole to me. He'd try his darndest to ignore me, give me very short rude help, the third time I was there he actually gave me a once over and commented that I "must sure like those Christmas cookies" as he was ringing up my items (which included cookies for friends). And again, this was three separate days over a period of a few weeks.
Well I went in there today, and lo and behold, my old friend Willard was there to greet me with a big smile and "Welcome to World Market, may I help you with anything?" The whole time in the store, he was excessively friendly. He asked if I needed help finding anything a few times, made a few comments and jokes, and he even specifically delivered a sample piece of candy to me. It was all very over the top nice.
I dunno, maybe it's just a huge coincidence, but I thought it illustrated the point well.
being treated differently when thin
BTW, even with my weight people smile at me and men open doors for me. I think it's because i look polite (which I am).
Yet another reason why we all should learn to be more forgiving of others....
