Weird conversation yesterday. What would you have done?
I had a meeting with several co-workers yesterday. During the meeting the topic of weight loss came up and it had nothing to do with me! They were talking about a woman who had recently lost "a few" pounds and looked amazing. Apparently she'd come in second place at the office "Biggest Loser" contest. The first place winner, they said, lost a "ridiculous" amount. Specifically they guessed 20%. The conversation turned to picking fun a bit that a person ever needed to lose that much weight.
I was sitting there thinking I've lost close to 35% and could lose 50%, though that would be pretty low. But no one looked at me or seemed to think about me at all. It was weird. I wondered how that conversation would have gone had I still been at my high weight. I didn't know the people they were talking about so I just sat quiet.
I don't know. Would you have said anything? Or sat idly by?
Are these new co-workers since you lost weight? Did they ever see you at your high weight
That is a tough one, I can see myself smiling quietly to myself, or saying something casually. I guess it would have to depend on how well I knew the people, and how long I had worked with them
Are these new co-workers since you lost weight? Did they ever see you at your high weight
That is a tough one, I can see myself smiling quietly to myself, or saying something casually. I guess it would have to depend on how well I knew the people, and how long I had worked with them
Yep, they've known me 9 years. I know these people really well and they're very kind, usually. We were just venting about work issues and that turned into venting about these poor people. It's not typical to this group of people which is why I didn't feel the need to say anything.
But that was my specific situation. In many cases I think this probably IS a more typical conversation.
I definitely smiled quietly to myself, but felt guilty doing so. LOL!
yeah in my office, it is typical conversation unfortunately.
But good for you! I think that smiling quietly to myself would probably be the way that I would end up going, BUT I would not feel guilty doing so. I would feel more like. "yeah baby, 20% is nothing. I have this handled" HAHA
I would have said something. Being rude is being rude. Not saying I would have put myself out there in regards to weight I lost, but who knows. I may act differently being in that situation.
I might have said something like "well we aren't in their shoes so we don't know why a person gets to that weight, good for them for at least deciding to lose it."
I think people can be so insensitive- I bet none of those people ever had a weight problem.
Also, doesn't it make you wonder what they say about YOU when you're not there? How many times I have been part of the conversation that started with "Have you seen Eliana lately? She's lost a ton of weight!"
that happens with me. Co-workers are constantly talking about others and their weight, and I honestly think they've just "forgotten" the size I used to be. After seeing me everyday, the shock factor eventually wore off. I always remind them though if I feel the conversation is leading to being rude or offensive. Because deepdown, I'm still a chubby girl and always will be.
I am pretty sure I would have sat there in silence, and depending on how these people usually talk I may have found myself getting quite angry.
What is sad is we all are pretty much guilty of talking about others and even though most of the time our intentions aren't bad, they can very much so come across that way to others.
I would have said something. My life experience has turned me into something of an anti-fat-prejudice activist, at least when it comes to people making thoughtless remarks. And my coworkers know this about me. It's fair game to make fun of management & coworkers for all kinds of incompetence chronicled in "The Office" and Dilbert cartoons, but not for their weight issues.
If you sit quietly while others are making rude remarks, then it is assumed you are agreeing with them and think it's OK.
It doesn't mean you have to be confrontive, but saying something like beerab suggesteed would be good.
I can't believe that these dummies have known you at your high weight and still go on about someone else like that. Talk about thick, dense matter between the ears. I might have even chimed in with, "Is that what you say about me when I'm not here?" I can see the flaming red faces now...
You're right.. That's just weird. Looking at it positively, it seems your co-workers no longer view you as "overweight" so it did not trigger the need for editing the topics of conversation, as may have happened at your higher weight. (Apparently, we are all very sensitive)
I don't know if I would have jumped in the conversation. Depends on the tone, I guess. It really would depend on whether my need to be "Big Girls Embassador" kicked in so I could give them all the "peek into the life" that sometimes happens.
What it does tell me is that WE ALL need to get more educated... For a 150lb. person, 20% is 30lbs. I think most people (even those skinny ones, ha!ha!) would think 30 lbs was reasonable.
What it does tell me is that WE ALL need to get more educated... For a 150lb. person, 20% is 30lbs. I think most people (even those skinny ones, ha!ha!) would think 30 lbs was reasonable.
I was thinking that too! LOL! It does depend on how thin a person is though. Those at goal, for instance, could not lose 50%. I couldn't lose 50% of myself now. I'd weigh only about 80 pounds.
Absolutely! 50% for me would be more than I think would be healthy. (Although according to some charts, not completely unreasonble)
But you know, even when I am feeling my worse, I have never wanted that "number" to be so low. My vision of myself has always involved having curves and good muscle definition. It has never involved seeing a number on a scale.
I know it isn't that way for everyone, but I feel pretty lucky in that regard.
Personally I wouldn't have gotten on a soap box or anything because it could make the work environment tough in the future. But if you know them well and are comfortable a casual comment might have worked.
They've clearly forgotten and no longer feel the need to edit. That really is crazy and makes me wonder just how darn much people will nit pick publicly.
Weird conversation yesterday. What would you have done?
They were talking about a woman who had recently lost "a few" pounds and looked amazing. Apparently she'd come in second place at the office "Biggest Loser" contest. The first place winner, they said, lost a "ridiculous" amount. Specifically they guessed 20%. The conversation turned to picking fun a bit that a person ever needed to lose that much weight.
How many times I have been part of the conversation that started with "Have you seen Eliana lately? She's lost a ton of weight!"
