[jmeree]

I have been diagnosed as having major depression for years. I have a wonderful psychiatrist who has monitored me closely. I am on cymbalta and lamictal. I have been on many meds which did not work for me or had major side effects. Recently, I was slowly getting better when my son was diagnosed with major depression also. He cut himself badly and was hospitalized for five days. I am on family leave for two months to concentrate on my son. I have a very stressful job CPS social worker and a boss who is a bull dog and that is with her liking me! My son is slowly getting better (he recently revealed his gay which caused the depression, I don't care I am supportive) but in the past he has relapsed. This has caused my depression to come back full force. I also feel disgusting at my current weight and I do not lose weighteasily . When I am depressed I do not eat and still, in six weeks I have only lost six pounds! Its hard to exercise because I am so depressed. I refuse to buy clothes at the weight I am because it's depressing. This year has been hard and I think that if I lost some weight it would help my depression. Not cure my depression, just help me to feel better. My husband is supportive but it's hard to live with a depressed wife and depressed step- son

[starfishkitty]

Well, you're a lot smaller than me... but from everything that I've picked up here at 3FC... not eating is not the answer to losing weight. Eating properly, and the right amounts, is what will get you to lose weight.

As for the depression... I'm sorry. As an ex-cutter (and a bad one at that) and someone diagnosed with severe depression in the past (hospitalized, medicated, and all that)... I know where you're coming from, as much as another person can anyways. I know its not easy, but I get through now by reminding myself that A) tomorrow is always another day and B) there's so many people out there that have a MUCH worse life than I. I recently have been traveling to India a lot and it's really opened up my eyes. I saw babies living in tents looking up at me with only a bowl of rice to eat for an entire day, or maybe even two. I saw people who had only the clothes on their backs, living on a sidewalk, in the dirt, next to piles of trash. And yet, what struck me.... is that they all had smiles on their faces. They were still happy. And here I am, in my amazing apartment, with amazing food, and an amazing life.... cutting and feeling bad because I'm "depressed". It really woke me up.... my life could be so much worse. And I am so grateful that its not. Living with clinical depression isn't always going to make it easy (my brain doesn't want to be reasoned with sometimes) but I CAN decide how I'll ultimately react to my depression.

I wish you the best of luck, you and your son.... just remember, you guys have each other. Thank God for that.

[hirakukibou]

I relate to being in hard place and trying to do your best in spite of it all. Personally, I find that when my daughter is suffering it is almost worse than when the suffering is mine alone. I hope for you that you can give yourself credit for taking care of your son and yourself. I find that if I take things one at a time, I do better. Also, if I just start something -- like exercise -- it is a beginning. I make deals with myself: You only have to ride your bike for 10 minutes. I do it for 10, and if I am still struggling I stop, but sometimes I can continue. Hope things improve for you and your family. Sending healing light your way!

[jmeree]

Thank you both very much! you words mean a lot

[emt3692]

I'm very sorry to hear about your son. There is a treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy that has been proven to help people who engage in self-injury. DBT has even been shown to be at least a little effective when all else seems to fail. It has been with me.
Best of luck

[fillupthesky]

just want to send one...

hope things get better...keep your head up.
and know that you and your family will get through it

[jmeree]

You all are very sweet that's why I love this forum

[Satine]

I just want to give you a big hug for being so supportive of your gay son...with all the horror stories out there lately of gay kids being bullied and committing suicide we really need to step up and support them - be there for them, especially parents.

[fillupthesky]

jmeree, just wanting to check in- how is it going? things getting a little better?

[seagirl]

This book has been a life save for me. Maybe get 2 copies, one for you and one for your son.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Ac...0805230&sr=8-1

[ckhmom]

Sorry for your and your son's depression. I also have a wonderful therapist who has helped me through grief. I'm not surprised at slow weight loss but at least it is going in the right direction.