Hey guys, I posted about two weeks or so ago frustrated because after a month and half straight of losing weight, I pretty much stopped for a period of 3 weeks. I'm back on track now, steady losing about 2 lbs a week :-). Counting calories, doesn't even feel like counting anymore. It's a mental thing now, I look at a donut or a slice of pizza and all I can think about is how many calories they're packing. I have such a long way to go, that the 15 pounds I have lost, feel so minuscule. I know I shouldn't diminish any weight loss I've achieved so far, but when you're looking at the scale and realizing you still have 85 more lbs to go and you've only lost 15. Its haaaarrrd. I look in the mirror and I HATE what i see. Having to go to the store and pray they have something in my size that's at least half decent and doesn't look like my grama's drapes on a hanger. Or being able to go out with friends and not feel like the "fat chick" of the group. So I never go out with friends because I don't feel good about how I look when I dress up. Being fat is more than just a physical thing, I know I should "love the skin i'm in". But i just can't. Even dating is unpleasant for me. Because the thought of something touching my fat, makes me cringe. Even if they think I'm beautiful, I don't feel it anymore. I'm only 25 and and I've NEVER been slim. Even in childhood i was always chunky. The lowest I've ever been was when I was 17-19 and I was at 170lbs. I wasn't slim, but at least I had a passable curvy body. Right now i just feel like a whale. How do you cope with it all? How do you ensure you keep going and not give up? And don't even get me started on Thanksgiving :-(.
11-14-2010, 11:09 AM
Oh, same thing happened to me.I have a desktop calender, and you can clearly see 3 weeks worth of blank spots where nothing happened. So I started maintaining instead, then started to try to lose about a month later, and so far, so good.
I know 15lb might not seem like a lot, but once you hit 17lbs, you'll be saying, "wow, i'm almost at 20!" I honestly kept thinking the same thing every single day, but now that I see how close I am to 20, it's like all that doesn't even matter. 20 still isn't even half the battle, but it's a lot more than when you started out, right?
Take it a day at a time, don't overexhaust yourself! Once you lose a bit more I have a feeling you'll be a little more confident. I stayed in my house for 6 months until I felt presentable to the public, and even though I still have my off days, I do try to go out a lot more with friends. I FEEL prettier, even though I still have a long way to go.
I ensure that I keep going and don't give up because every day I wake up it's the first thing on my mind. It doesn't get shoved aside while I think about brushing my teeth or letting the dogs out. It might sound selfish, but it's the first thing on my mind, because if it ISN'T, it's going to be shoved further and further to the back, and then when it's 6PM I'll let myself think about it, then feel like crap because I didn't do anything that day.
Just try to relax. Losing weight, unfortunately for most, is often a long journey. You might as well enjoy as much of it as you can. Celebrate the little goals when you notice them, get creative with your food, shop around online or at thrift stores or where ever for clothes. I've been friends with a 350lb girl with CRAZY good fashion sense, who ALWAYS had great clothes- so even if I couldn't find them myself, I know they're out there, so you'll find something for the in-the-middle stages, just give it time.
11-14-2010, 11:20 AM
How do you ensure you keep going and not give up?
Re-read your post and all the reasons why you want to lose weight. THOSE reasons are why I keep this up.
I was miserable, miserable, miserable beyond belief when I was overweight. And finally, upon becoming sick and tired and miserable enough, I decided to lose the weight, once and for all, no matter what and permanently.
So it's not an option any more to NOT keep it up. This is my life now. I've committed to it. I've made it a top priority and for me to not adhere to this lifestyle would be, will it wouldn't be. Because I'm doing this - once and for all, no matter what and permanently. That's that.
I hope I can keep this up
You can't hope to keep it up. You have to decide to keep it up. You have to commit to keeping it up. You have to plan to keep it up. You have to be willing to keep it up. You have to do what is required and necessary to keep it up. You have to work to keep it up.
But luckily, once you get past the initial discomfort stage, the transition stage, of changing ones habits, it becomes quite simple and easy. But you have to push yourself. You have to learn to tell yourself no. You have to be brutally honest and make ZERO excuses - not due to stress, holidays, Saturday night, Monday mornings, anger, boredom, loneliness, relief, joy or what have you.
You've got to force yourself to get to that sweet spot, where the bad habits die down, the good ones become ingrained in you and you start to see the rewards and stop thinking of this as sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. Then, it becomes fairly easy. But you've got to get there. And every time you cave in, you make it that much longer, that much more unpleasant and that much more difficult. Don't give yourself permission to veer off. Work past the discomfort.
Map out your food schedule in advance. Make this hard thing easier. Get rid of the junk. Always have good, healthy foods on hand. Know where each and every bite, lick, taste, crumb, sip and morsel are comiing from. You have to plan to be on plan. EAting well, won't happen on it's own.
Losing weight and lots of it (much more than you need to) and keeping it off, IS a doable thing. For every one and any one, yourself included. We are all capable of it. We all have the ability. Go for it - once and for all, no matter what and permanently. :)
11-14-2010, 11:34 AM
I think you guys are going to make me tear up. Thank you both for the very insightful input. I don't want to be miserable anymore. I'm doing well NOW. So far for the last two months, keeping up with it. But i'm just sooo worried 3-4 months down the road. Something in me changes, and I'm not as diligent anymore. What if I get down to 170 and become complacent. I'm just so scared. I definitely need to change my mindset from I "think" I can do it, to I "know" I can do it.
11-14-2010, 12:36 PM
I just wanted to pop in and recommend the Beck Diet Solution. It is not a diet book in the sense that it doesn't tell you what to eat. For me, the most important thing it does is help me translate the idea that I want to lose weight into the actions necessary to do so. Very few of us suffer from a lack of desire -- it's just acting on that desire every day that can be so darn hard! The book is available at most libraries.
And you said, what if you get to 170 and get complacent? Well, if you get to 170 and decide you're comfortable there and happy with how you look, what of it? You will be healthier, you will probably be able to do more. We all have different goals, different ideal bodies. You can find yours.
And rockinrobin, I feel refreshed and re-inspired every time I read one of your posts. Thanks. :)
11-14-2010, 06:23 PM
Go into your kitchen and find something heavy like a five-pound bag of flour or a gallon of milk or water (about 8.5 pounds). Pick it up, and think--really think--about wearing it plus two or three more just like it, every day. Fifteen pounds doesn't feel so skimpy when you feel that weight in your hands, I find. In fact, it feels kind of amazing to have shed that much weight.
It also helps to think of all the "NSVs." Can you comfortably zip a dress you couldn't zip before? Does a pair of heels now fit you when they were once a tight squeeze? Do you find that you no longer huff and puff doing things that used to wear you out? Being mindful of those changes makes it a pleasure to keep going, to keep making more beneficial choices each day.
What's really helped me is to look at this major lifestyle overhaul I'm doing as an additive process. I'm not depriving myself by taking away "bad" foods, I'm adding in other, healthier, better-for-me foods. I'm not losing cake and chips, I'm gaining strength, stamina, energy, a better-looking wardrobe, a deep sense of accomplishment, and control over something I thought was out of my hands--and I gain all that a pound at a time with every pound I shed. Now that I look at losing weight as running toward a goal instead of running away from stuff I once liked to eat, I wonder what in the world took me so long to decide to do this.
If you can help it, though, please don't wait to enjoy things like dressing up and going out with friends. Whether we're big or small or anywhere in between, life is way too short to defer living it until we're thinner.
11-14-2010, 07:09 PM
My dad walk himself into the hospotal on October 4. He became progressively worse every day. I spent every moment at the hospital with him. My poor little three year old had never been awaay from me and was physically ill with upset - but I couldn't leave my dad. I was in the hospital with him for weeks. I ate in the hospotal cafeteria amd they got to know me and my diet restrictions. Through those 20 days in the hospital I never broke my program once. Even the night dad coded and I was all alone... in the past I would turn to M&MS and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups to offer some kind of comfort. The only comfort I could find for those agonizing hours was prayer. My dad passed away on October 24. I subsequently wen through the next week staying on my program. Now I know that no matter where I am or what I is going on I have the strength to stick to this program and I have to for me, my family and the memory of my father.
11-14-2010, 09:11 PM
It sounds like you're worrying about something that is going to happen in the future.
Thinking of what can happen in the future doesn't really work because we're not psychics.
What's worked for me is to just focus on what's going on TODAY. I eat well, within my calories, I exercise, I do my work, whatever. What happens tomorrow isn't something I can control, I can only plan. So, I plan tomorrow's meals and tomorrow's exercise. It becomes a habit.
I just stick to it.
I have PCOS and I can tell you that I lose weight REALLY slowly. I wish I was losing 2 or 1 lbs a week steadily. I have weeks where I gain weight and I am frustrated as all heck.
Just focus on what you're doing today, don't worry about tomorrow. If you stick to your plan, eat well, exercise, then chances are, you will lose weight and reach your goal weight. But you can't magically lose all the weight from today to tomorrow. It's a process/journey.