General chatter - Please help :(




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kathrynk
11-11-2010, 10:58 PM
I need to be severely calmed down. An acquaintance of mine who is a friend of a friend posted several things on Facebook today making light of Veteran's Day and jokes about veteran's. I suppose I should have started this by saying that my brother was killed in Afghanistan last year and my dad was disabled in an explosion in Iraq. I am literally shaking mad right now, and I don't know if I should say anything, and if I do, how I can say anything without completely losing it on this b****. Ugggh.


Sunshine73
11-11-2010, 11:05 PM
First :hug: and I'm so sorry about your brother and your father. My brother served in the USAF and we are all profoundly grateful to have him home from the "sandbox" safe and sound.

Personally I would probably call the person out on their insensitivity by simply pointing out exactly what you pointed out here. Veterans and their families have made very real sacrifices so that someone like that person could have the freedom to get on FB and make stupid jokes about those sacrifices.

DexterMom
11-11-2010, 11:11 PM
Hey there KathrynK - I'm an Army wife so in a small way I know where you're coming from. My advice (though you have had to shoulder much more pain than I) is to realize that there are a LOT of idiots in this world and you can't spend your life trying to reason with each of those idiots.

You can chose not to associate with people like that, but you do not need to consider it your job to educate people who probably are too clueless to ever undertand.

Use today to honor your family. Your brother and father will be in my thoughts.

Best wishes.


totesmcgotes
11-11-2010, 11:21 PM
If this is just a friend of a friend, ignore it, you can't let people you hardly know control your emotions. Plenty of people have different values that I do, many are hurtful to me and make me angry, but all that really helps is putting your own energy into doing good in the world and not wasting your time on those who don't.

If it were someone you actually cared about I would advise you to explain how hurtful those words were. In this case, I'd just delete the person and move on!

Have a great day!

mandalinn82
11-11-2010, 11:24 PM
First, thanks to you and your family for your service and sacrifices. There are plenty of people out there who appreciate it.

If this is someone you interact with on a regular basis, I'd definitely say something. Maybe take a lot of time to type it out, so you don't go totally ballistic, but I'd totally feel comfortable saying "As an individual who has lost a brother, and whose father was injured, in service to our country, I think these remarks are out of line".

kathrynk
11-11-2010, 11:26 PM
Thank you. The initial shock is wearing a little, and now I'm mostly just annoyed. It irks me to see the posts like "Thanks veterans, for the day off of work!" Let alone the very insensitive things she was saying. I haven't said anything, yet. I am definitely one who needs to wait a day to cool off before saying anything, because the venom that would be spewed could potentially be cause for litigation :)

Also, I'm trying not to put too much stock into things said on Facebook. It's not like she showed up on my doorstep. Breathing...counting to 10... :)

I had a lovely brunch with my dad today, who is now the regional director of the American Legion, and enjoyed the amazing weather we've been blessed with lately. DexterMom, you and your family will also be in my thoughts.

LiLLy19
11-12-2010, 08:46 AM
Wow I have NEVER heard anyone make jokes about veterans and veterans day. I guess this person has never had anyone that he knew personally serve in the military! I dont even know what was said and my blood is boiling already.

Sorry to hear about the loss that you experienced =(

yhahmd
11-12-2010, 09:10 AM
Wow I have NEVER heard anyone make jokes about veterans and veterans day. I guess this person has never had anyone that he knew personally serve in the military! I dont even know what was said and my blood is boiling already.

Sorry to hear about the loss that you experienced =(

I know tons of people who make fun of tons of stuff. The world can be like South Park sometimes, nothing is off limits--- gays, the disabled, abortions, celebs, etc---even if they should be.

I doubt your friend was trying to be rude or insensitive, I mean if I just read that on someone's FB status quickly before heading out the door I wouldn't have thought twice about it (I generally seem to miss the point of things until much later.. -_-''), and my dad used to be in the army and was in a few wars. I guess once I realised I might have been a little annoyed, and would have said something, but then again I didn't lose a family member in any wars or anything, so it's probably a whole different feeling for you.

Either way, even if she WASN'T intending to be rude, I would still say something to her, but present it in a smart and collected manner. If she sincerely apologises and realises what she's done, then you'll know she was just being ignorant/not paying attention. If she replies back with a snotty comment, then you know she's probably not someone you want to hang around with anymore.

Either way, sorry for your loss:hug: