Weight Loss Support - Changing goal?




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JenMusic
11-11-2010, 09:42 AM
I know there are plenty of threads like this, but this one is about ME, doggone it! :)

My initial goal, a zillion years ago, was 140 (still overweight BMI). I never thought I'd actually get out of the "Obese" category at that point.

When I reached 158, which had previously been my lowest adult weight, I realized things were working an clicking, and I changed my goal to 135, which is the highest weight for normal BMI for my height.

This morning I weighed in at 138. Weight loss isn't easy in a lot of ways, but it's routine, and I'm comfortable doing it, and at this point my weekly losses have slowed down slightly but I haven't really plateaued at all. (Hope I'm not jinxing myself by saying that!)

At the same time, I'm still not physically where I want to be. I would love to tone up, of course, but also continue to lose. My belly, especiallly, is still pretty prominent - darn apple shape! I definitely could lose more without appearing "too skinny."

Reading a lot of posts here has kind of made me want to aim for the middle of the normal BMI range, which for my height would be around 120. But, once again, that feels SO far away. Instead of being 3 pounds from goal, I'm going to be 18! I know that's small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like I keep pushing my own dream away from myself.

So here's my question: Should I lower my goal weight all a once, or go 5 pounds at a time? I know y'all can't make my decision for me, but I would love some thoughts.

Thanks!


Sunshine73
11-11-2010, 10:01 AM
If you're not happy where you're at and it's healthy for you at a lower weight then I see no reason not to do that. You're so close to your goal (whether it's 3 lbs or 18 lbs) that you can do it 5 lbs at a time for a couple of reasons. It's a smaller goal so you don't get overwhelmed (I do it 5 lbs at a time for that very reason) and it will give you several resting places along the way where you can re-evaluate where you're at and decide whether you want to continue losing or start maintaining. :)

lazylioness
11-11-2010, 10:05 AM
Hmm good one. Personally, I have several "mini" goals and one big one. I have my ticker show a few of them. My avatar is my "super mini goal" make that sucker change every 5lbs HAHA. And my top one is my current "mini" goal of 30lbs and that one will always say 30 lbs, but I need to have my main big goal visible too. I personally have to break it down into small pieces, but also need to see the big picture. It keeps me on track everyday. But, that is just me. Somewhere in the back of my head though, I also know that the weight is just a number, a way to measure progress that is "instant gratification" I know that it is going to depend on how I feel and a lot of that is going to depend on how I can change my head to be able to SEE the differences. HUGE issue for me. HUGE.


DexterMom
11-11-2010, 10:34 AM
JenMusic - you have lost 62lbs! Wow wow wow. Personally I think 18lbs next to that number doesn't look bad at all. While you decide what route you want to go, I hope you're enjoying the amazing success you've already had. Great job. You have an inch on me but I think we're heading towards about same "happy number". Good luck to us :)

Eliana
11-11-2010, 10:48 AM
Well you just solidified my own thoughts on this! LOL! It's hard to mentally go from needing to lose 3 pounds to 18! LOL!

What I will do is hit my goal...and then I will keep going. It's all a mental game, really. I am going to try not to put a number on my absolute goal and hope that I will know when I get there.

That's vague, I know. But I need to know that anything under 135 for me is just icing on the cake. ;)

gottadoit2010
11-11-2010, 11:03 AM
See...for me I put my goal at the lowest I would want to be. I'm 5 feet and I have 113 as my goal. Thought about changing it up, but then decided to stick with it and then play it by ear when I'm closer. I think we all will find our maintenance spot when we get there. :) Good luck and great work so far!

JayEll
11-11-2010, 12:18 PM
I've been around here awhile... and time and time again folks post, "Gosh, I'm not happy with my body. I think I'll lower my goal weight."

I really don't get what that's about. It kind of bothers me. Because where does it end?

Sometimes a lower weight makes a big difference. But the thing is, there will always be things about someone's body that they want to change. The belly will always look too big. The arms will always look too flabby. That may not be because of weight or fat at all, but because of loose skin. Or, it could be a kind of body dysmorphia--we get so used to looking at what we think are flaws that we can't see the big picture anymore.

If I were going to make a suggestion, it would be get to your goal weight (which I think you said is 135) and then stay there for six months. See how you feel. See whether you can sustain that weight without having to work out all the time and eat really low-cal. See how your energy is. Get used to wearing those clothes. And then, after six months, re-evaluate. You may or may not want to go lower, depending on your experience.

Jay

losinlish
11-11-2010, 12:33 PM
Hey JenMusic,
Great job on coming so close to your goal - what an amazing accomplishment! I do agree with the above post about never being happy with where we're at, but as I read your post, it doesn't sound like you're as unhappy about the scale weight, as the shape of your body.
Have you incorporated strength training into your life? Sometimes firming up the jiggly parts is a lot more impressive than losing a few more pounds. If you're not exercising, I might suggest trying it before getting too hung up with the numbers - it's great for your health!

jigglefree
11-11-2010, 01:10 PM
JayEll - Love the perspective. I was wondering why people say they aren't happy with their bodies when they get to goal or close to goal. If it's better than where they were or there will never be a point of satisfaction. I also wondered if it was a fear of maintaining so they keep loosing. Even when I was more jiggly I loved my body just certain parts needed work. Now I'm smaller than I ever remember being and working on getting to my goal. When I get there I will hold on to it for six months like you suggested and see how I'm able to maintain it. If I do well and like how I look I'll stay there (don't want to look too thin). If I find it difficult then I will make the adjustments. Thanks!!

JenMusic
11-11-2010, 02:06 PM
All interesting perspectives. I do think it is a "mental game," as Eliana says. I guess I'm just trying to stay mentally in the game as much as possible.

Jay - I appreciate your thoughts, and have pondered them both before posting this thread and then thinking about your post. What I keep coming back to is this - How could I, at 200+ pounds, overweight/obese my whole life, know what I would feel/look like at 135? I can only speak for myself, but don't think dissatisfaction with where I am right now means that I'm even bordering on real body dysmorphia. Especially when 135 is at the high end of normal BMI. I think my dissatisfaction is more a matter of realizing, finally, that weight loss isn't pie-in-the-sky impossible. If I can do it, why not get the healthiest, fittest body possible? And no, I don't think I'm there yet.

That being said, I see a lot of value in the 6 months of maintenance suggestion. I honestly hadn't thought about that, and I will take that under consideration.

losinlish - I do exercise and do moderate circuit training with weights, but am considering starting to lift heavier. I'm a little intimidated by it, honestly, but I've ordered "New Rules of Lifting for Women" and will read that and see where things go. Yeah, I definitely could use more muscle building.

Eliana
11-11-2010, 02:26 PM
JayEll - Love the perspective. I was wondering why people say they aren't happy with their bodies when they get to goal or close to goal. If it's better than where they were or there will never be a point of satisfaction. I also wondered if it was a fear of maintaining so they keep loosing. Even when I was more jiggly I loved my body just certain parts needed work. Now I'm smaller than I ever remember being and working on getting to my goal. When I get there I will hold on to it for six months like you suggested and see how I'm able to maintain it. If I do well and like how I look I'll stay there (don't want to look too thin). If I find it difficult then I will make the adjustments. Thanks!!

I think I have figured out the reason many people aren't happy with their bodies "at goal". I think many of us carry an image around of ourselves inside our heads and that image weighs some unknown amount. The image I have of myself weighs 175 pounds. Weird, I know. I discovered this through gaining weight. When I was a size 3 in college I truly thought I was fat and there was no reasoning with me. Well that's because I saw myself as a 175 pound woman. When I gained and gained up to 235 pounds, I thought I was thin because again, that image was of me at 175 pounds. I was shocked every time I saw a picture. I no more felt like I was a size 3 than I felt I was 235 pounds later on. Then as I lost weight this time, I got to 175 and thought yes!! This is who I am!! That's how I know that my "image" weighs 175. I knew from that moment on I was going to start having body issues as I lost more and it's true. I still think as I sit here that I look bigger than I am and that crossover happened at exactly 175.

I have to think others probably experience something similar but just don't know it. ;)

JayEll
11-11-2010, 02:55 PM
Interesting, Eliana. I was normal weight for most of my life. I think my mental image of myself is around 130 pounds, because that's what I weighed as an adult. As I slowly gained weight over the years, I was in denial to some extent because my mental image of myself didn't really change.

Here's what happened to me when I got to goal. I found that at 147, I was still technically overweight. But, my face looked thin, and not a very healthy thin. My eyes get kind of sunken, as do my cheeks. My hands and wrists look bony. My legs have always been thin, but they kind of get like sticks, although I have saggy thigh skin. (And yes, I do work out with weights, so it's not that I don't have muscle.)

But, I still have a belly. I'm pretty sure that I've got 15 pounds excess fat on my belly at that weight, but to lose that, I don't think I'd like what the rest of me would look like. Also, I started to have people say "You're not going to lose any more, are you?" because all they could "see" was my face and hands.

Of course, everyone's experience is different, and if someone is young, with resilient skin and a lot of energy, their experience may be different from mine. That's why it's so individual. :)

Jay

My Michelle
11-12-2010, 06:06 AM
Jay - I appreciate your thoughts, and have pondered them both before posting this thread and then thinking about your post. What I keep coming back to is this - How could I, at 200+ pounds, overweight/obese my whole life, know what I would feel/look like at 135? I can only speak for myself, but don't think dissatisfaction with where I am right now means that I'm even bordering on real body dysmorphia. Especially when 135 is at the high end of normal BMI. I think my dissatisfaction is more a matter of realizing, finally, that weight loss isn't pie-in-the-sky impossible. If I can do it, why not get the healthiest, fittest body possible? And no, I don't think I'm there yet.

I totally get where you are coming from. I definitely don't think anyone should feel that some number they picked practically at random is unchangeable. Goals aren't carved into stone. I think your attitude sounds very healthy. And congratulations on your spectacular success!

matt_H
11-12-2010, 06:14 AM
This sounds exactly like what I'm going through. I just picked a number right in the middle of the normal BMI range and am shooting for that. My weight watchers goal weight for lifetime membership is 5 pounds higher than that, so I guess that technically would be the next goal met on the journey.

I do always think of mini goals along the route, so I'd suggest just keep going at 5 pound increments and see how you feel. :)

thesame7lbs
11-12-2010, 08:07 AM
I think 5 pounds at a time is a great idea. The lower you go, the more each pound makes a difference, so setting small increments makes sense.

Sometimes, though, I think we make too much fuss about where our goals are. Yes, setting and achieving goals can be very motivating and fulfilling. But there's also nothing wrong with getting within 5 or 10 pounds of a goal and saying, "You know what, I'm happy here. I don't need to go any lower." No one is a failure for deciding that a goal wasn't quite right, especially when most of us are picking numbers we haven't seen as fully-grown adults.

Jay, I do have to respectfully disagree. I am so very, very happy with my body right now. Are there things I would change? Yes. But none of them have to do with weight, just the shape genetics and life have given me. I have done everything within my own power, and I'm thrilled with the result every day.

JayEll
11-12-2010, 10:19 AM
Not sure what you're disagreeing with, thesame7lbs. I didn't mean I'm dissatisfied with my body at 147. It's just that it is what it is, and I'm not going to be wearing bikinis and showing off my flat belly. So if I had had that idea in mind as my mental image, I would have been disappointed.

I was never losing weight for the looks anyway--mostly it was because of health concerns. I was pre-diabetic, and now I'm not. My cholesterol has dropped, and my HDL (good) has increased.

Jay

lora m
11-12-2010, 10:44 AM
I'm currently 14lb under my official goal. Once at goal, I kept on losing weight because I didn't add quite enough food to maintain, so it wasn't a deliberate plan initially - my estimated weightwatchers maintenance points allowance turned out to be too low for me. Once I realised I didn't feel quite 'done' at my original goal I chose not to increase my food intake much more. As I gradually lost more weight I found I was happier under BMI 24, which is where I went down a size, and happier still around 23, so I plan on sticking around here. At 46 and with some loose skin I am very aware I could go too low but on the whole I'm satisfied.

In your shoes, I'd see how I felt each 5lb, and if you're in between sizes maybe stop when you reach the next size.