Holiday Away: Unwanted Comments on New Weight, New Eating Habits
Sorry, this is long. But I'm kind of freaking- like, I'm a 6-7 out of 10 on freakout.
I'll be going out east to visit family for Thanksgiving. The last time I saw them, I was either at my high weight (207lbs) or for a couple of them I was around 180lbs or so. So that's a difference of 23-50lbs. It's noticeable, or so I'm told.
Also, I'll be staying on plan over Thanksgiving, so I'll be eating more fish, lean meats, salads, veggies, whole grains for the week I'll be staying with them. They're gonna notice (they eat pizza for dinner and breakfast, to give you an idea). And they'll definitely give me heaps of grief (in the form of jokes, probably). I haven't had that yet, so it makes me nervous.
For a lot of things, I'll have to make a separate meal altogether. They'll eat a lot of cheese, beef, white pastas and breads, potatoes, desserts, etc. I don't want that to be a point of conflict.
I don't want them to notice my weight or my eating habits. I don't want to talk about it, and I'm not at the point where I can joke about it. I don't want any of it right now.
I may just have to suck it up and pretend to laugh off the jokes, because they will come from all sides. But I am really, really hoping they just don't notice my weight loss and ESPECIALLY my eating habits.
Anyone have any tips for dealing with comments on weight and jokes about healthy eating? Eating healthy when the only meals cooked are WAY out of my calorie budget.
Also, if I can, I'm going to be discrete about my meals for most of the week. So, basically if you know any veggie-based meals that I can eat in hiding? That'd be great. Lol!
You could always fill up on veggies and then eat a SMALL portion of what they are eating. If you talk a lot too, they won't notice that you ate a smaller amount, because you'll finish the same time as them.
LiannaKole, I just kind of went through this exact situation. I went to a family/friends event with people who have not seen me since about 20-30 pounds ago. Boy, did they make comments. It was quite flattering to hear them say how great I looked, but many others added that I used to be so BIG, and that I look wonderful now!! It was hard for me to hear that people noticed how large I was getting before. I just had to focus on the positive comments and drown out the negative.
As for the food issue, I do hope you have better control than I did. I had an extremely difficult time sticking to my diet, and caved a few times while I was with my family back home. You can do it though!!
I'm not a 20-something but I just wanted to put my 2 cents in. Don't worry about it so much. First off, hiding healthy eating habits and wanted to "eat in hiding" is no better than sneaking off to the bedroom to down 3 candy bars and hide the wrappers in the trash. You're going to get lots of comments on the change in your weight and your eating habits...handle it w/ grace and let them know that the two correlate and, since that is the case, you hope they'll understand that you just can't sabotage yourself w/ off-plan foods. If that doesn't work, tell them you're allergic...LOL Just kidding. Seriously, though, it almost sounds like you're ashamed and you should be PROUD of yourself for your progress, not ashamed. Be proud, girl...and don't hide!!!
pinkpolkadotpup: I will be trying the fill-up-on-veggies method -- it's tasty and helpful!
I'm definitely not ashamed of my weight loss or efforts. Maybe it's coming off that way. I'll nip that in the bud now. Thanks for bringing that up, Natasha1534. And I won't eat anything in secret - I literally can't, as 20 of us will be staying in one house that week. I've never really eaten in hiding ever, but that's because I've been very conscious of it from 207lbs to now and everywhere in between. Mostly because I know it's not healthy and would lead to problems for me.
LillyLover: I am nervous about what they'll say about the "fatter me." I never hated that me, and I'm still very protective of her (and many times feel like I AM still her). I think maybe that's one root of my insecurities - I don't want them to put down how I used to look (which is how I still feel a lot), and it's a real possibility.
I'll be okay; I just need to remember and realize it. They can deal with my new eating and weight, and I'll deal with any jabs and comments. It's like a trade. lol
Thanks again! The support around here never fails to astound me.
I'm going home for Thanksgiving and staying at my sisters. At that point I *hope to be down about 15 lbs from what I was when most of them last saw me. The loss might be noticable to some, but that part wont be a big deal.
My eating habits will though. I'm taking some of my own food and I'll buy some when I get there, and I AM taking my food scale. My sister and her husband are both very overweight and my mom and stepdad will be visiting too, and my stepdad is very overweight as well. I'll probably get jokes from my sister, pier pressure from the guys, and complete support from my mom (she weights about 135) I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I'm doing this for me. I'm not going to eat crap to make anyone else happy or so they can feel better about eating the crap themselves. If I have to cook my own complete meals, so be it, I am going to fight tooth and nail to make sure I stay as on plan as possible while I'm there.
I've never gotten small enough for anyone to have a chance to talk about how fat I used to be, so I don't know how I would feel about that. I guess I would obviously be hurt. Fortunately for me most of the people in my life wouldn't talk like that, they would just tell me how great I look and that they are proud of me. Anyone in my life who wouldn't is probably fat themselves, so I wouldn't think they'd have the balls to say something like that. I don't even understand how anyone would think it's ok to say something like, "You used to be so big!" Like you didn't already know that?
Just stick to your guns, and I hope your family is completely supportive. Just remember if they aren't it's probably because they're a little jealous and feel somewhat guilty about their own choices.
i know what you mean here, i don't know why but i always get kinda weird about people knowing i'm trying to eat better. my family is always really nice and supportive about it when i go home, but i just hate talking about it.
seagirl- i like those excuses especially "here, hold this yarn skein while i wind it into a ball." my friend leslie and i always joke about the best cop-out excuse of all time is probably, "...i've got to go...send a fax"
I think Natasha is right. I feel the same way sometimes. It's just not fair for us to have to hide our healthy choices!
Maybe if you politely decline, and stick to the healthier choices they'll understand.
I can totally relate!! I cut down drastically on sugar since starting Jorge Cruise's Belly Fat Cure, and I get crap all the time from my friends already.
"Come on, you HAVE to take this (sugary) Irish Car Bomb shot with us!!" or "It's so-and-so's birthday, you HAVE to have cake!!"
I've been doing it since March and have gotten through the candy-intense holidays of Easter and Halloween, I think I have Thanksgiving under control, but I really have to think of a way to not hurt feelings when it comes to Christmas cookies, fruit cake, etc.
Holiday Away: Unwanted Comments on New Weight, New Eating Habits
Seriously, though, it almost sounds like you're ashamed and you should be PROUD of yourself for your progress, not ashamed. Be proud, girl...and don't hide!!!
especially "here, hold this yarn skein while i wind it into a ball." my friend leslie and i always joke about the best cop-out excuse of all time is probably, "...i've got to go...send a fax"
