Weight Loss Support - Anyone else doing it alone? ...




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Aislin
11-06-2010, 10:59 PM
I get so frustrated at times. For me to succeed I usually end up having to cook a meal for myself then something different for the rest of the family. My husband has a very bland palate and the kids aren't far behind. I, on the other hand, love food and like to experiment with it. I don't mind cooking low fat alternatives but most of what I cook is snubbed.

Some days I feel like its a losing battle. I get so tired of cooking two different meals and those nights I let hubby cook its usually something that doesn't fit into my plan and I have to throw something together for myself...or I eat whats there because I'm too tired to make it for myself and end up starving because I am trying to stay in points or completely overboard and get angry at myself for being weak.

I guess I just want to know I'm not alone. I know there are solutions but right now I'm feeling low.


Pudgebrownie
11-06-2010, 11:32 PM
I am currently in the same boat but hubby doesn't have a bland palate, so I'm preparing delicious meals that I wish I could eat but know they don't fit within my nutritional plan. So you're not alone :] I am dealing with similar issues just not the exact same. Maybe planning out a weekly menu ahead of time might help you with cooking meals that everyone in the family can enjoy? I know that there are plentiful sites online that offer various recipes for healthier but TASTY choices for dinners.

ValRock
11-06-2010, 11:39 PM
I personally refuse to do this alone. Refuse. Why do I get to be healthy and the rest of my family suffer because perhaps they'd prefer to eat junk. I'm very lucky to have a family that's willing to try just about anything. If they weren't... I'd be inclined to tell them tough luck. If this is going to be a lifestyle change... something that you're going to be doing for the rest of your life. You'll have to take your family with you.

I read somewhere that a child (and perhaps even grown man ;) ) has to try a new food upwards of 12 times before they develop a like for it. I have children who will eat whatever is placed in front of them. They weren't always like that... but I refuse to settle for letting them eat subpar foods.

Yes, I do make modifications. My children do not need to be on a low carb plan so they get brown rice or potatoes with their dinner. They eat it happily.


Pudgebrownie
11-06-2010, 11:45 PM
I agree ^


It would be more beneficial if everyone is "on board" so to speak. But I know that isn't always reality. Weight loss journey is a personal journey, you just can't force your eating habits onto others. However, you can certainly try to (as the wife/mother) integrate healthier foods etc etc to the family and not prepare dishes that are typically considered poor food choices.

Nola Celeste
11-07-2010, 01:14 AM
You absolutely shouldn't have to cook two meals most nights. Hubby and kids are going to have to compromise a bit here and stretch their palates a little; it would benefit them as well to enjoy more healthful foods regardless of their weight. I speak as a former picky eater who learned to embrace veggies: no one ever regrets learning to like healthier food. You're doing them a favor if you broaden their horizons. :)

In my household, I'm the the more restricted diner. One way that we've gotten around the two-dinners dilemma is to make a main dish and a side that both of us like and fend for ourselves on extras. It's still a little extra work, but nowhere near as much as preparing a whole meal would be.

For example, last night we had a chicken and vegetable curry. My husband had his with naan and a thick layer of basmati rice; I had mine with half a cup of rice (yep, I measured :) ) and a dollop of plain yogurt. The night before was chicken stewed in white wine with garlic (us), asparagus (butter on his, lemon on mine), spinach with feta (me), and roasted potatoes (him). Tomorrow is homemade pizza, so each of us gets to handle our own toppings; he can have pepperoni and sausage and such, I'll stick with spinach and thinly sliced tomatoes and a measured-out ounce of cheese.

There may not be much overlap between what your family wants and what fits your plan, but there is bound to be some--and they can learn to stretch a little to make things fit if need be. After all, any food tastes better when someone's kind enough to cook it for you, right? :)

pinkprincesss
11-07-2010, 05:26 AM
I am in the same boat! Hubby is slim and doesn't need to lose weight but I want to lose 3st. So I end up cooking him something delicious, and something like a salad for myself. It is depressing and makes it harder to diet.

Hubby would be happy to diet with me, but he really doesn't need to, so if he ate as little as I do he'd waste away!

It is hard.

Shmead
11-07-2010, 08:05 AM
Can you have your husband take over cooking for himself and the kids, and you eat like a single person? By "like a single person", I mean cooking a bunch of roast chicken or something on the weekends and eating that with a different bag of steamed veggies every night, or making a big pot of healthy soup on the weekends and eating a bowl of that every night. You can eat with your family even if you are eating something different.

CourtneyDaisey
11-07-2010, 08:26 AM
I am having a tough time with this as well. For the next month I am trying a vegan diet while the rest of my family eats meat. So I make a dish with the meat in it for the family while something vegan for me. I sure do use a lot of extra dishes! But my husband is adventurous and doesn't mind trying something new. He tried my vegan spring rolls last night with homemade ginger soy sauce and loved them! I can't wait to make them again!

RoseRodent
11-07-2010, 08:51 AM
I am in the same boat! Hubby is slim and doesn't need to lose weight but I want to lose 3st. So I end up cooking him something delicious, and something like a salad for myself. It is depressing and makes it harder to diet.

Hubby would be happy to diet with me, but he really doesn't need to, so if he ate as little as I do he'd waste away!

It is hard.

There's no reason you can't eat from the same recipe book, you just modify it a bit. If you were cooking for the two of you, a baby of 11 months and a child of 6 you wouldn't dole out 4 identical portions but you'd go in a similar direction.

My husband is not on board with me at all, so we eat separate meals most nights (each in charge of our own) but he's pathalogically lazy :p so I keep offering him up some treats from my menu. It actually helps sometimes, he can eat up the other 2/3 of a pack of something so I don't get tempted. Today I made omlettes and he has no idea he had 3 yolks and one white and I had 3 whites and one yolk. With the softly softly approach I will bring him on board, we started with a special Sunday lunch together then I keep plugging away at it. I am mostly in charge of what my daughter eats, and she is a natural stringbean with a small appetite and a love of fruit and veg and hates meat :mad::devil: but I am still fighting hubby's budget battle. He is happy to eat 9p jars of sauce on everything but my daughter is NOT eating that garbage!

The real problem area for us is that my husband doens't want to do anything or go anywhere, and he associates every activity with a food - let's watch such and such and eat pizza, let's watch so and so and eat ice-cream. I actually find I can't bear some of the shows we used to watch because without the ice-cream they are total garbage! :D But that's really tough when you get the "you've changed" speech. We are still working on this one, he still thinks I will be coming "off my diet" at some point and we will be able to go back to going to his favourite all you can eat restaurant (where they serve NOTHING else but meat and potato roast dinners) he totally doesn't get it, and I am being "mean" by not going to this restaurant any more.

It's hard when one person changes and the other stays the same because you find you don't have the things in common you used to have, and I don't want us to drift apart, so I have to make an extra special marriage effort just now.

sacha
11-07-2010, 09:56 AM
I have to dissent. Yes, I do this alone :) Here's the thing - I am doing this for me, and only me. So it makes sense that I do it alone. When I met my husband, we went out for burger and fries each night on our dates. I cannot expect him to change his life either.

So, I make healthy alternatives. It can take a while to find something that satisifies us both, but it can be done. Smaller portions for me. Or separate meals. Go to the library and get a magazine like Cooking Light - there MUST be something satisfactory for both, no???

We can't change others, only ourselves :)

Aislin
11-07-2010, 10:37 PM
I want everyone to understand that my kids do eat healthy meals. They are just not healthy for me ( if that makes sense). When I make something it is usually the healthiest version possible...they eat salad, and veggies and homemade stews, roasts (chicken, beef ect). Its just that my taste buds want a LOT of flavour..I like spices ...my kids have tried the curries and asian foods I've come up with but they just aren't interested. WE don't do much take out for the kids either.

I don't know... I do know most wouldn't do what I do but I don't expect the family to change their taste buds just because I don't like the old standbyes. I introduce new things to my kids ( forget hubby...13 years ..he's not changing) as often as possible and have the two bite rule. Try it once, try it twice and if you still don't like it...have something else. I refuse to make someone eat what they don't like. I hated that as a kid.

I DO want to say thank you for all the advice. I appreciate the support and ideas.

Pint Sized Terror
11-08-2010, 12:17 AM
Our kids know that if they don't eat what we made for dinner, that's all they'll get. It will be put away until they are hungry, then reheated and given back to them. With that being said, I tone down some foods so they aren't as spicy because neither of them like spicy food. I lucked out though, because my husband and kids all like flavorful food. My 5 year old begs me to take him for sushi or Indian.
Maybe if you slowly introduce the flavors, like, gradually increase the amount of certain flavors until they are used to them. I haaaaaaaated the taste of cumin, but hubby loves it. I could barely take the smell of it. He started sneaking a little bit of it in here and there, and before I knew it I was actually enjoying it. Same with rosemary.

Nebuchadnezzar
11-08-2010, 04:22 AM
You are a one woman army!

Cheesy or not, I'm being real. I'm doing this alone, too. My "get up and go" song is "Army of Me" by Bjork. All you can really do is remain vigilant, yes? Or convince the family to somehow join in. I'm just discovering low calorie meals that are out of control with enough Umami stimulation to satisfy junk eaters like myself. Good luck!

asparagus4sale
11-08-2010, 03:29 PM
I am sorry but I just don't get this. No way - not in a million years would I make my significant other his own meal. You are not his mom nor his chef. If he doesn't like what you are making then he can make his own. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I have read this same kind of post no less than 15 times on this board. I just can't understand how it is acceptable that we, as women, are in this role.

Ive Had Enough
11-08-2010, 03:41 PM
I am sorry but I just don't get this. No way - not in a million years would I make my significant other his own meal. You are not his mom nor his chef. If he doesn't like what you are making then he can make his own. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I have read this same kind of post no less than 15 times on this board. I just can't understand how it is acceptable that we, as women, are in this role.
I absolutely agree with this. :dizzy:

stacygee
11-08-2010, 03:41 PM
I am doing it alone. My husband is trying to be supportive- but this is a man who eats every meal like it is his last meal. and then tops every meal off with a bowl of cereal. I have one picky eater and one that loves to eat. Some nights each of us have a different meal. Ugh! But I am almost to 50 pounds lost so I am not complaining. I quit relying on someone to be on my team and have made the commitment to myself!

TooManyDimples
11-08-2010, 03:44 PM
My situation is a little unique. My husband works nights right now. Three on three off. So for three nights I cook him his own dinner that he takes with him, then I have something for myself. I don't mind because I enjoy cooking, and he isn't trying to lose weight so he can enjoy things I can't sometimes. He is trying to eat healthier so a lot of the things I send with him are healthy choices that I could make for myself too. But last night he wanted Kalbi (Korean short ribs) I wasn't about to have that so I made me something else. When he is home I sometimes makes things we both like, he just eats a bigger portion. Sometimes he wants something I don't so I make him what he likes and then something for myself. It's happened more then once that he's seen what I'm making myself and he'd rather have that. :)

gagalu
11-08-2010, 03:49 PM
yep! it sucks, but you just have to keep motivated. i can only hope that some of my eating habits rub off on others.

SCraver
11-08-2010, 04:43 PM
I am sorry but I just don't get this. No way - not in a million years would I make my significant other his own meal. You are not his mom nor his chef. If he doesn't like what you are making then he can make his own. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I have read this same kind of post no less than 15 times on this board. I just can't understand how it is acceptable that we, as women, are in this role.

Yeah... this is where I fall on this spectrum. When hubby and I first moved in together, I didn't cook at all. We mostly ate sammiches, chips & dip, went out to eat, ordered pizza, etc. Now that I am cooking healthy meals on a regular basis - he already knows it is that or nothin' or make it yourself. But since I am actually cooking, he is enjoying nice meals!

If we want grilled meat - he does all the grilling - and he will even do it in the snow! He will cook things he knows how to cook. We are working on planning our meals for the week. This week, we are going to do corned beef, potatoes and onions and I guess I will get carrots or some veggie to go with it. He will prep it all and put it in the crock pot.

And we are getting stricter with our almost-two-year old. Once a week or so, I give him something new and that is it. Eat it or wear it, I tell him. (He usually does both.) He is a little fruit monster and does good with his veggies. We keep trying to encourage it, rather than teach him our bad habits!

Aislin
11-08-2010, 04:52 PM
I am sorry but I just don't get this. No way - not in a million years would I make my significant other his own meal. You are not his mom nor his chef. If he doesn't like what you are making then he can make his own. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I have read this same kind of post no less than 15 times on this board. I just can't understand how it is acceptable that we, as women, are in this role.


He does..and has...and will continue to make his own meals at times. We share the load fairly well. He does laundry, cleans house, takes the kids to school and all that fun stuff as well. We are a well rounded family BUT yes if I am the one cooking..I'll make two meals if its something I don't want to have ..why would I want two cooks in the kitchen? I don't particularly mind it. My only issue is being able to maintain MY own diet.

I also think bashing me (or anyone else for their habits at home) is in poor taste. I come here for encouragement and solutions..not scorn. Every household runs its own way.