40-Somethings - How many times?

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11-05-2010, 09:44 PM
How many times do I have to start this before I can follow threw and complete. Hi everyone. My name is Bonnie and I have been here many mant times before. I need to get serious and not let stuff nock me out of finishing what I need. Went to look for a pair of jeans the other day and ended up going to good will a size 28 Omg I never thought I would get back this high. I got as far as 245 and gained it all back.
I need to find the line on how to stop by problems from adding to me gaining weight. Right now I have alot of Problems with my children and it is affecting me daily. How do you draw that line. I have done it before I know i can do it again. I will take any advice I can get.....

11-09-2010, 10:45 AM
Hi Bonnie,

I don't have a lot of great advice for you, as I obviously struggle with the same issues. I also comfort myself with food when I'm feeling anxious, upset, or angry.. it's a habit that started when I was little. (My mom admits that when I was upset even as a toddler, she could always 'get me happy again' with sweets or some other treat. I really try to not do that with my children today! )

I think it's hardest to start out at a high weight, feeling not good physically, low emotionally.. and then have to put up with life's stresses and not have an outlet (like treats). But after a little while, when you're down 10 pounds or so, then it starts to become self fulfilling because you can see and feel the changes in yourself, and you start to want to continue.. not HAVE to continue, IYKWIM...

So my only advice (which I'm also taking for myself!) is to give yourself the gift of the first 10 pounds. It won't be fun.. you'll be hungry.. but you can do it and the rewards will make a difference in your outlook and affect everything in your life.

How about we work on it together?? ;)

11-09-2010, 02:46 PM
Hi Bonnie,
I too have dieted so many times I cannot count. I can lose weight, but can't seem to keep it off. I am trying to focus on eating for my health - I know I have my hormones so out of whack from eating sugary processed garbage, and that by eating healthy for a week or two, I will be able to get my cravings under control. I can't say I am hungry, but I really want to eat - a lot! I am so used to eating without exercising any control, and feeling really stuffed, that I guess it's become habit.
Remember, even if you're having trouble with your kids, it's not going to do you or them any good to overeat. Maybe by showing them you can get control in this area of your life, they'll follow suit in whatever their problems are!
Oh, and by the way, don't get discouraged by the size you are - you're a beautiful woman, and you need to love yourself, no matter the size!

11-09-2010, 03:06 PM
Hi Bonnie! I have lost/gained weight many times over the last 20 years or so myself. (I was 230 pounds at my highest.) In the past I have used TEMPORARY diets or fixes to lose the weight.....diet shakes, unrealistic calorie intake, etc......and did not exercise. Not surprisingly the weight always came back.

This time I feel I am doing it the right way for me. I found a plan I can stick with for life (tracking calories, lots of water, lots of fiber, reduced fat, cutting out alot of processed foods) and (the most important part!) I am exercising on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I have not forbidden myself to have anything I really want (last night I had french fries), but I know I can't have that kind of thing all of the time....it just won't work for me.

Find a reasonable plan that works for you and that you can stick with for life.

Find a type of exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. Besides helping the weight come off....it will greatly improve your mood and your health.

Good luck!!!:carrot:

11-09-2010, 04:24 PM
I don't have a end all be all answer but I do feel your stuggle.
I have been on a ton of diets too and although I could lose I could never get the maintaining thing right.
About 2 years ago I bought a Bodymedia Fit. a nify little tool I wear on my arm. it calculates calories burned and I log the food I eat. I set up a program for me with my weight and goal and how fast I want to lose.
Again not the end all be all but it took a lot of guessing out of how to do it. all I had to do was reach my daily burn goal and my daily intake and the weight came off. I have been in a maitance for a while now and again all I have to do is meet my daily goal.
I walk for exercise. sometimes I get on the eliptical but mostly I walk for an hour a day durring the week and longer than that on the weekend.

12-07-2010, 08:16 AM
Bonnie I am new here I think we should start with small changes, trying to do every thing at once you are setting yourself up for failure, so pick on thing to change move more? go slow we didn't gain the weight over night it is going to take some time to break the old habits and start new ones. I just found this site looks like lots of great people!


12-09-2010, 11:03 AM
I hear you!

I am now going to try the new WW program because the extreme elimination diets just made me want to binge on foods in the "do not eat" list.

Hoping this time around I can GET IT!


12-30-2010, 02:08 AM
**hugz** first and foremost. I've been there too, virtually every Monday morning of my adult life! If I could go back to the 20 year old me and say "you're fine the way you are" i think a lot of this mess could have been avoided!

The difference in my success this time is that it's a LOT of weight, and it wasn't as horrible as I thought. I did seek some professional therapy because there was something more wrong than just "letting myself go" a bit! I didn't think therapy could apply to me because I'd suffered no trauma or horrible childhood or anything bad at all really! turns out a spoiled screaming brat tucked away in the back of my head has a lot to answer for ha!

I guess I look at my other diet attempts like trying to mop up the floor after the sink has overflowed - but without turning off the faucet! You get most of the water but it never stops, never relents, and will always come back no matter what you do. I was sick of gaining it back over and over and over.

Part of me feels a bit of a fraud, because SO MANY people on here go completely whole hog, revamp every single thing they eat, swap out burgers and ribs for tofu and mashed sweetpotato LOL but I couldn't live like that. I just ate LESS, moved a bit MORE, wrote everything down and counted up the calories. It doesn't take long to figure out the McDonald's "costs" more calorie wise than I was willing to give so I made a few simple changes, stuck to them, repeated them, added a few more and never looked back!

If there's any way you can talk to someone about your struggles, I really recommend it. It's not that shocking or intense, but more like a "oh riiiiiiight...." almost like a lightbulb coming on that you've been avoiding for so long, it's quite liberating!

ps i still hate sweating :D

12-30-2010, 10:50 AM
I think every single one of has been in your shoes: "omg, why can't I just DO this". I know I have. And every single year at around this time I stand here and I go: "crap, another year wasted" and I begin to reflect on what could have been.

This time of year is hard. I have decided (now that I too am back here), that for this year, I am basically going to ignore the fact that need to lose 80-85 lbs. It's too big; it overwhelms me. I have decided to focus on losing 10 lbs (x8 :dizzy:)...

Ten pounds is easier for me to see, easier for me reach for. I will reward myself for every ten pounds lost! I think I read of a woman here who bought herself an inexpensive silver bangle bracelet for every 10 or 20 lbs lost, and wore them always as a reminder of what she had accomplished. I think I will do something along those lines. heck I would even do colored plastic! Just as long as it's something, and I can see them adding up.

Best of luck to you! I will say this: when I came here EVERY DAY, is when I did my best and stayed on my plan. Even if I didn't post, at least reading here kept me focused. I was MIA for a bit, but now I am back and the things that kept me from spending time on computer are working themselves out.


~ flamanette ~

01-02-2011, 07:07 PM
I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately on why I cannot stick to anything longer than 2 weeks. I start out full force, I write everything down, I drink my water then 2 weeks later I fall off the wagon. Part of my problem is expecting quick results and then when I don't get them, I go back to my "old" way of eating. I know that there is more to this than meets the eye. I have to figure out what triggers me to eat 5 pieces of pizza. I self sabotage myself like I'm afraid to actually succeed. I've ordered several books to try to figure this out. I tell myself that I'm not on a diet even though I will count those points until I am capable of eating normal size portions. I should get my books this week and will post on the results. I guess ask yourself "am I truly living or just existing?" A tough question and my answer was Im only existing.

So this time around, I'm going to educate myself on the psychological reasons I do what I do. I'm 5' 2" and a half on a good day and topped the scale at 209. This is the heaviest vie ever been. I'll be 46 in 5 weeks. And I'm done existing.

I have also realized that I can't live off salads and diet dressing for the rest of my life. I'm eating foods I like just less of it. I told myself that losing this weight will take me a year. I want to lose 60 pounds. I don't want to be 110 again but want to look nice and be healthy! Besides I'm so sick of shopping in the womens dept.

I would go to Amazon and google some self help books. I can't remember all that I ordered off hand. I'm reading half-asses a memoir right now that is so funny.

01-02-2011, 07:11 PM
Hi Bonnie! I'm a day late and a dollar short, but the simple answer is that you have do do it one more time than you give up doing it. It isn't over or a lost cause as long as you keep trying. Consider each attempt before practice for the real thing. Don't get discouraged.

I quit smoking about 2 1/2 years ago...never thought I could do it. Lots of people have to try several times before it sticks. That's how it is with weight reduction and eating well, too.

You can do it!


Linn C
01-18-2011, 10:39 PM
WoW a lot of good comments. I stress eat I have kids that stress me that includes mine his and ours. I have my sister that causes a lot of stress on me and so i always put all that before me. I do know when I was working out I was a happier person.

02-19-2011, 08:39 AM
This may sound silly but I find when my B vitamins are low I more likely to eat because of Stress.

02-20-2011, 03:11 AM
I didn't read all the comments but dieting was only a temp solution for me, this time i have decided i need to change my eating habits and lifestyle, there will be no relapse this time, i am a different person now and i will not change when my goal is reached.

02-20-2011, 06:10 PM
Izza...I don't think that is silly at all...Vitamin B helps with the metabolism working the way that it should.....and I have heard of people losing weight and feeling more energetic after taking Vitamin b12 shots...not sure if the oral tabs work at all.

My doctor tested me for a whole bunch of things when I told her that I was feeling exhausted, depressed and hungry all the time...the only thing that came up was a Vitamin D efficiency, quite common in people during Northeast winters............I feel so much better after taking Vit D supplements regularly.....

Just my two cents for all it is worth.......

02-21-2011, 07:13 AM
I moved to Newfoundland Last winter, from Southern, Ontario and found that II was feeling sad and cranky. when I realized I had not seen the sun in 2 weeks I added "D" to my daily supplements.

I use B-100 which is a nice little B Vitamin cocktail, which not only aids curbing cravings it also gives me a bit of a kick.

Butterfly: I am an all or nothing chick too... don't beat yourself up for starting over..... Embrace yourself for it!!!!

02-21-2011, 11:19 AM
Thanks Everyone Sorry it has been a while since I have been on my computer has been given me problems and then my hard drive went out had to use the hubby's computer and it is slow as molasses.

Everyone has some good point thanks for the suggestions. To tell you the truth I jest had the Crap ola scared out of me I jest watched the Doctors and threw the month of Feb they are doing this thinkg where they take people with health conditions and scare them to make them realize what could happen to them if they dont take their health serious. The one today hit me hard their was a guy who has high blood pressure and pre diabetic and sleep apnia . I am currently taking meds for high blood pressure my doc told me that I am pre Diabetic and i probley got some sleep issues going on cause I wake a doz times a night. All I can say as they took him threw a mock medical emergency I seem myself sitting their and I dont want that I have to do something . I can't take it any more more...

So I have decided that since I only have like 400$$ bucks a month to feed a family of 5 then I have to have a plan that will work with me on this budget.
The one thing I came up with is eating Smaller more healthier options and try to burn what I take in on a daily bases. So how do I go about doing this and finding out what I need as far as calories and what to burn. Any help or suggestion are welcome....... I need all I can get...

Thanks Bonnie

02-21-2011, 12:36 PM
Butterfly, I hope you don't mind me putting my two cents in because you may look at my ticker and think that I don't have a lot to lose so what the **** do I know, but I am a fitness instructor and my job is try and help people get fit.....and happy so I"m going to interject here.

There is equation that helps you determine what your calorie level would be....it goes by your activity level, your current weight, etc. I wouldn't make myself nuts with that at first. What I would do is make small changes at first. Do y'all eat a lot of vegetables, salad, lean proteins? Start changing how the whole family eats this way you won't be tempted to eat something high in fat and carbs. STart drinking half your body weight in ounces of water. Make some small changes for a week or two and see if it makes a difference....then at that point figure out how many calories you need to be at ...and start logging everything you eat somewhere..it can be on a notebook or better yet in something like fatsecret.com. That's what I use and it is FREE!!!
It doens't sound like youi have a lot of money to t hrow around on Weight Watchers but that is also a good program to help you make the changes you need to make. I personally like low carb programs like doing Atkins the right way but I am not a nutritionist so I won't make a suggestion. Trying to feed a family of five on 400 bucks...girl, I give you credit for being able to do that. But eating cheaply does not necessarily mean eating badly. Processed foods wind up costing more than fresh vegetables, fruits and lean meats in the long run. I noticed that when I look over my food bills,,,not that i eat much processed food now.
You live in South Carolina, not much snow there so try and just get out and walk.....build up stamina...don't try and do this by diet alone....make it easier for yourself by exercising and walking is a good exercise. I tell my students to add that to t heir week and they'll be surprised at how much better they will feel.

My mother let herself go...she is obese and now at the age of 74 has high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis from her joints not being able to carry all that fat around etc. I hate to see how she has killed herself slowly with food. So yeah, you should be scared and I like that that show had an impact on you and you're taking the steps you need to make sure you stay healthy......there is no price you can put on your health. You can do this!!!

02-21-2011, 01:40 PM
Zumbachica thanks for the advice I have pretty much decided that too. I started after I got up from here and I got a large container and filled it with water . Then I drugged out my fitness dvds I have a collection of watp and Bl and jillian. I figured out that I would start small and as each week passes add something new and take something old away and see where it leads me . As I look at I have nothing to do but loose weight Right. So instead of seeing it as a diet I have decided to make it a life style change. As for the family we have been making some changes in our foods already. Looks promising . They are actually liking the fish I have prepared in the last months its not alot of been trying something new. ( Were Not Big Fish Eater). I am putting one foot forward and see where it leads me. Thanks A Bunch.

02-21-2011, 08:20 PM
Excellent Bonnie!! You are off to a good start.....:))))

02-21-2011, 08:42 PM
Fall down seven times, get up eight. You can find a way. Good luck.

02-23-2011, 11:19 AM
Hey Bonnie
Great job... getting started :carrot:
I use a site Allrecipes they have menu plans for budget, specific calorie budgets, all of the recipes show the nutritional/calorie break down, so you know what you are eating. the best part it is FREE!!!

it might help ;)

02-24-2011, 08:19 PM
Thanks Izzadawn I will check it out..

04-11-2011, 10:19 AM
Hello all after many computer problems I am back to say I have not begun to exercise I have been making some changes in our eating.We now eat fish at least once a week and we dont have alot of red meats Mostly chicken and Turkey. Now time to start the many of other things to get this going. Had a great Dr Apt yesturday he said my blood pressure was great and that my triglercides are lower then they were. So We are in the middle of planting a garden and getting everything ready for the summer. Matter of Fact DVD are pulled out and getting ready to start the main part Exercise!!! Even though my weight is at the highest that I have ever been I must move forward. I am the only one who can do this for me and I will . I know it will take time but Rome wasn't Built in a day so I can't expect everything to happen immediately Will put one foot in front of the other and get on track. Will let you know how my day is going!

04-19-2011, 11:48 AM
Bonnie, I am so excited for you and your family... a walk to the park and playing with your children that is excersize as you learn that you are worth the effort your family will learn too... Keep it up and Don't give up !!!