Weight Loss Support - Why?




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BlueEyes83
11-04-2010, 09:02 AM
I am so upset with myself. I have been feeding my face for the last 2 weeks and I do not know why. I know I have gained weight and even though I say to myself no more eating bad, I do anyways. This has gotten out of control and I really don't know what I should do. It's mostly when I get home from work when I eat the most. I will keep eating sometimes to the point I feel sick (don't worry I do not throw up)
Like today, I went to Panera Bread for a bagel and cream cheese but of course I didn't just get 1 bagel, I got 2!!


Lori Bell
11-04-2010, 09:14 AM
You have the power to say NO. You CAN do it, we all can. I would suggest a different plan, like not stopping for a bread and fat treat after work. Keep an apple or 2 in your car for the way home. I personally think you binge after work because you are feeding your addiction. Some people pour themselves a drink as soon as they get home, some people roll a doobie and some people eat. AND some people go work out! ;) To break the addiction you need stop feeding it with stuff that makes you high. To be honest it sucks at first. It is very hard and uncomfortable to tell yourself no. It does get eaiser with time.

Good luck.

flippychick
11-04-2010, 09:19 AM
I do the exact same thing that you're describing...and even while I'm doing it and 49% of my brain is say "NOOOOO!", the other 51% says "We don't care what you say, we're doing it anyway." It's hard not to feel completely overwhelmed when it feels like it's your own head that's out of control. Last night was the FIRST night in a long time that I held to my plan - to not eat until I felt sick, get to bed at a decent time and wake up feeling ok about myself. It was really, really hard, but it worked. You can do it. Just take it one day (or hour or one minute!) at a time. And try not to be so hard on yourself. Imagine a life-long smoker trying to have just 2 cigarettes a day. You can't go cold turkey with food, so it's even harder to break the habits that go along with it.


rockinrobin
11-04-2010, 09:52 AM
Why? Because you've gotten into the habit of doing it that way. Because it's what you're accustomed to doing. But luckilybad habits can be broken and new good ones formed. And once those are established (the good ones) they too will be hard to break. But you've got to get there. You've got to push yourself and push yourself and work past the uncomfortable moments. There is no way around it.

I agree completely with LoriBell. You're feeding the addiction and you need to cut off the supply. Cold turkey. No ifs ands or buts.

Set yourself up for success though. Make the decision to do this, once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT. No excuses, no BS, no nuthin'. Make this your job your mission. Become passionate about it.

Make yourself a plan and stick to it like glue, tweaking as need be. Decide what you will eat in advance, don't put it in your mouth till its on paper first. Make yourself a calorie budget to stick to. Get rid of the goods (the junk) and ADD in healthy, healthy, delicious lower calorie foods.

You CAN do this. I mean you've got the ability to do it. You are capable of it. You just must decide to do it and being WILLING to do it. Be WILLING to do what's necessary to MAKE it happen. Be willing to work past the uncomfortable moments of not giving into a craving or a want. It's possible though, very possible. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Raise your standards. Require more from yourself. Amaze yourself.

You will find that adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden, no hardship, but a joy and a pleasure. The only burden is eating that stuff and remaining morbidly obese. EAting well is no prison sentence, but a key to freedom that will unlock more doors than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even realize were closed.

Lori Bell
11-04-2010, 09:56 AM
...You can't go cold turkey with food, so it's even harder to break the habits that go along with it.

ACTUALLLLLY, you can go cold turkey with SOME foods. No one ever NEEDS sugar or a bagel (or choclate or chips etc...) for the rest of their lives. Yes, you need food to live, but you don't need refined garbage to live a very healthy fulfilling life. Now, if I would just follow my own advice I'd be back at my goal weight. ;)

AZ Sunrises
11-04-2010, 09:58 AM
You have to decide if it's more important to have whatever it is that you're eating...or if it's more important to meet your weight loss goals. Prioritize it. What's *really* more important? We've all been there. I think most of us have had days where the brownie won. Are you going to let it keep winning indefinitely?

beerab
11-04-2010, 11:06 AM
I know how you feel, lately I feel like I can't get it together and it's stressing me out.

I went bac kand looked at what WAS working for me last year and now I am trying to follow that as closely as possible until I get back on track, I'm trying to not stress myself out and I think that's a big part of it as well.

Good luck.

flippychick
11-04-2010, 11:10 AM
ACTUALLLLLY, you can go cold turkey with SOME foods. No one ever NEEDS sugar or a bagel (or choclate or chips etc...) for the rest of their lives. Yes, you need food to live, but you don't need refined garbage to live a very healthy fulfilling life. Now, if I would just follow my own advice I'd be back at my goal weight. ;)

Very true - you can go cold turkey with many foods. But tell me bagels aren't one of them!!! :dizzy: I too, would be at my goal weight if I could follow my own advice.

BlueEyes83
11-04-2010, 11:20 AM
Wow, all of you are amazing :). You really made me feel like I can do this. I would rather be healthy and thin then to feel sick and Obese all the time. I want to be able to keep up with my friends and not always lag behind and be out of breathe. I want to be comfortable in my clothes not have to cover myself up all the time.
Thank you all so much, this make me feel so much better knowing I have all this support.:hug:

carter
11-04-2010, 11:24 AM
Everyone's advice is very good.

One first step toward breaking those bad habits when your inner toddler won't listen when you tell yourself no is this: Try telling yourself "not today." That Panera bagel will still be there tomorrow. It is not the last bagel in the world. There will be other chances to eat bagels. So, skip it for today - eat an apple or a cup of yogurt instead - and reevaluate tomorrow.

Then, tomorrow, tell yourself the same thing. The day after that, too. Before long, you no longer have the bad habit of needing that Panera bagel after work.

What's really made the difference for me has been converting those daunting proclamations like "I can't eat _____ ever again" into in-the-moment choices. I can focus on making one right choice at a time, I can execute that. It's a lot more manageable for me to say "meh, I'm not going to eat a bagel now" than it is for me to say "oh, woe is me, no more bagels for miserable fat carter."

SCraver
11-04-2010, 11:29 AM
Carter - I really like that advise! I do something similar when it comes to buying things. I think: I will not buy this today, if I can go another day with out buying it, that means I really don't need it. This would be a great mind set for me to use with eating things: I will not eat this today.

airbear
11-04-2010, 12:57 PM
ACTUALLLLLY, you can go cold turkey with SOME foods. No one ever NEEDS sugar or a bagel (or choclate or chips etc...) for the rest of their lives. Yes, you need food to live, but you don't need refined garbage to live a very healthy fulfilling life. Now, if I would just follow my own advice I'd be back at my goal weight. ;)

I agree! I had to go cold turkey on sugar and refined carbs.

I love Panera Bagels, I understand. But they are never going to be on my acceptable foods list again because I have no control when I start with them. I know what they taste like and that's just going to have to be enough! Give yourself one good day and go from there. You can do it!

sacha
11-04-2010, 01:08 PM
One of my strategies is just to leave all cards/cash at home. No money. I don't rationalize it by saying "Oh, what if the car broke down"... yeesh. No. If I can't say no with the money on me - it stays home.

Another strategy: prepare all your food in the morning for the day. And don't stray from it. Use a cooler. If you have a sandwich with you - then you are less likely to buy that bagel.

OR...

If you want something, go online and figure out the calorie counts. If it works for you, write it down on a piece of paper and go in - read off your piece of paper. Don't look at the menu. Just read to the clerk what you pre-chose.

Whatever works...

sacha
11-04-2010, 01:11 PM
And my 4th strategy... looking at the online nutrition and saying "HECK NO. It's not worth it!"

A plain bagel from Panera is 290 calories, the cream cheese another 100. You're looking at 400 calories. Times 2 - 800 calories in refined carbs and cream cheese. That's a PLAIN bagel. The other bagels are 300-400 calories. So, you are now looking at around 1000 calories for 2 bagels.

Is it worth it? That is more than half the daily intake for most women.

http://www.panerabread.com/pdf/nutr-guide.pdf

JayEll
11-04-2010, 01:15 PM
It might help to you make a list of conscious, positive decisions every morning and write them down. Carry the list with you. One item on your morning list would be "Go directly home after work." That's right, just drive on by Panera and go home. I assure you that it can be done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Another item might be "Eat the delicious, healthy dinner that is already planned." You do plan your meals and snacks, right? Right?? If not, then you are asking for trouble... Then you can have "Eat the delicious, healthy snack at 8 p.m. and be done with the kitchen for the night."

Yes, it's hard to get started with these things, but no one else is going to do this for you! You have to do it yourself!

Jay

BlueEyes83
11-04-2010, 02:09 PM
What do you recommend my calorie intake for a day should be? I "was" aiming for 1250 a day but wondering if that was to low. I "usually" start out good in the morning but end up eating something I shouldn't and think to my self well I ate this, I am now off track, might as eat what I want now today.
As most of you do, I LOVE food and always think about it. I feel so gross saying that but it's the truth. After I have breakfast I cant wait for lunch and dinner and of course my snacks.
My doctor told me their are options I can do to help me with my weight loss. One is a pill they can prescribe to me (I am not huge on taking pills) and the other she said was surgery (which I will never do, to many risks and way more money then I can afford). I really want to do it the all natural way.

rockinrobin
11-04-2010, 02:11 PM
That pushing it off till tomorrow thing doesn't work *for me*. I do tell myself that I can have it another time, further down the road. There is no bagel (or chocolate or pizza or whatever) shortage predicted anytime in the near future. It will always be around for me later, at another time, when I'm in a different place. But for right now, I have no business eating that kind of stuff. I've got a job, I've got a mission to accomplish.

I will have something else instead. Something that tastes really darn good, but is good for me as well.

And I agree. It's ALL in the planning for me. I plan out each and every bite, lick, taste, dollop, crumb, morsel and sip that is to go down my mouth. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one.

I don't eat certain foods, but I make darn sure I've got OTHER foods to eat. Lots and lots of tasty, delicious, lower calorie options. Ones that don't send me into a feeding frenzy.

I had a very hard (impossible) time stopping to eat certain foods once I started eating them - my solution - don't start. Problem solved. Bad habits banished. Good ones established. 165 pounds shed and kept off for years.

Oh yeah, you CAN do this. I'm certain of it. :)

BlueEyes83
11-04-2010, 02:15 PM
I am going pick up a little notebook tonight and write down everything I can and have eaten for the day. Also write down my water intake because I know that is important as well.

rockinrobin - 165lbs is awesome!! I cant even imagine myself being skinny, never have been, you must look fabulous!

Thank you for all the advice!

sacha
11-04-2010, 02:22 PM
Calorie levels are personal. Some will start at 1200 and continue that forever. Some will start out higher and reduce as they go along.

Me, personally, I aim for 10-12x bodyweight (10x if you are more obese, you can get more flexible) and reduce from there. That is how *I* do it. If I am not mistaken, rockinrobin is a 1200 calorie gal from the beginning (pls correct me if I have that wrong).

You need to do what WORKS for you. If you struggle to stick with 1250, then I would suggest a higher intake and working your way down. You can even start at 2700 (10x 270lbs). Truth is, you did not get to 300lbs by eating only 2700 calories a day, so you should be able to lose on that. This is a long journey. Slowly reduce your intake as you go along.

OR, start lower. Start comfortable BUT don't start "too comfortable" - it is natural to be a little hungry in the beginning when starting a calorie deficit.

rockinrobin
11-04-2010, 02:35 PM
I am going pick up a little notebook tonight and write down everything I can and have eaten for the day. Also write down my water intake because I know that is important as well.


Thank you for all the advice!

Make sure to figure out what you're eating IN ADVANCE. Don't wait till you're hungry or it's time to eat and then it's like "well now what?" That will set you up for making poor choices. KNOW where it's coming from. Be prepared! HAve the right foods on hand - always. No exceptions.

Umm,you're water? It's important, but not *that* much. For me, it's a filler. Something to fill up my mouth and my stomach. What you have to really, really, REALLY focus on is the FOOD. It all boils down to that.

rockinrobin - 165lbs is awesome!! I cant even imagine myself being skinny, never have been, you must look fabulous!


I do look kinda fabulous if I do say so myself . . I'm pretty darn happy with who was hiding under all those layers of fat. ;)

But better than looking fabulous, I FEEL fabulous. Over the top, better than I ever could have possibly dared to dream fabulous. I have a fabulous wardrobe. I have fabulous doctor's visits. I have incredible amounts of energy and stamina. Oodles of self confidence, self worth and here's a biggie - self respect for myself. It's been a wonderful, wonderful time. That's why I urge you to do this and enjoy each and every second of it. It's a fabulous time of self discovery and growth. I LOVED manipulating that scale and watching my body shrink before my very eyes. I loved grasping that control, which was there the whole darn time. I just opted to not use it. :dizzy:

Losing the weight, well, it been like a dream come true. Every day is a special one. I knew being slim would be great, I just hadn't a clue it would be THIS great!!

About how many calories. Well no one can tell you for certain. Not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, fortune teller or psychic reader. Not even those calorie calculators - they very often OVER estimate ones caloric intake. That you'll have to find out through trial and error.

A good place to start experimenting - in the 1600ish range. . That'll be for you to decide. Now it seems overwhelming, but you'll figure it all out. Get excited about this. Get into it. Look at it as an adventure. Embrace this healthy lifestyle. Become passionate about it. :)

stacygee
11-04-2010, 03:04 PM
You have to want it... make changes that you can stick too. If it isn't the right time for you then it isn't going to happen. Not sure what you need to find the right time... only you can answer that.

rockinrobin
11-04-2010, 03:20 PM
You have to want it... make changes that you can stick too. If it isn't the right time for you then it isn't going to happen. Not sure what you need to find the right time... only you can answer that.

I think it's more than making changes you CAN stick to. It's about making changes that you are WILLING to stick to. It's all in the willingness.

Not trying at all is certainly not going to accomplish anything. You can't know if it's the right time, unless you give it a try! A really, really, really good, hard 1000% try.

Nola Celeste
11-04-2010, 03:32 PM
Depending on how your brain is wired, you might also prefer to think of your new commitment to weight loss as an additive process, not a subtractive one.

For me, telling myself that I can't have this and can't have that makes me feel deprived even if I'm not hungry at all--it's just the notion that I can't have stuff that makes me grumble. But if I look at the changes I've made as additions--"I used to eat plain fried chicken, but now I get to have roasted chicken with acorn squash and green beans and a salad!"--I'm able to fully appreciate the abundantly healthy meals I eat now. The more healthful additions you make to your meals, the less room you have for empty calories.

The same philosophy applies to other aspects of weight loss. I've found that I appreciate the additional creativity and forethought that goes into my meals, the extra time I take for myself in the form of exercise, the greater length of time I spend outside enjoying beautiful fall days, and the extra polish my (still slightly messy) home has now that I clean when bored instead of watching TV.

Dwelling on what I "can't" have right now makes me squirrelly. Thinking about all that I can have, all that I've added to my life, has kept me completely on plan and fully believing that I can happily live like this forever. Add a cooler full of tasty, fulfilling food to nosh during your work day and you likely won't mind subtracting a bagel or two.

JayEll
11-04-2010, 03:33 PM
At your weight, BlueEyes83, you can probably lose just fine on more than 1250 calories. If you are hungry all the time, you'll have a lot of trouble staying on plan. You might try 1500-1600 and just see how that goes for a couple of weeks (staying on plan the whole time, of course).

And just FYI, two Panera bagels with cream cheese comes to 960 calories. :fr:

Can't think of any sensible food plan where that would be a good idea! :eek:

Jay

BlueEyes83
11-08-2010, 09:48 AM
So yes, I had a bad weekend :( BUT... I went thru my pantry and cleaned out all the bad food and replaced it with healthier options. I also went out and bought a notepad to write down what I am eating for the day.
I stepped on the scale this morning and wanted to cry, how did I let myself gain this much weight back. I know it does not help me at all that my roommate loves to eat out. He also has a bunch of junk food in the pantry and he likes to drink (as do I). I just have to keep saying to myself that If I continue on this path, I will end up unhealthy and unable to do the things I love or would love to do.
I am not going to go as strict as 1250 calories since it seems as though I cant stick with that so I am upping it to 1500 calories instead and see how I do. Wish me Luck!!

beerab
11-08-2010, 02:14 PM
I think 1250 is way too low for you. I started out at 235 and even I have never gone down to 1200 calories per day. At 269 eating 75% of daily calories that would put you at 2000 calories per day. Also if you exercise you definitely need way more than 1250 calories. The formula I use is weight x 10 x 0.75 = daily calories to lose weight (this is a rough estimate an old trainer gave me). For your body to maintain it's current weight it's weight x 10 for number of daily calories. That changes if you exercise- but for weight loss I think that's a reasonable number. Every 10 lbs re-evaluate the number. And if you find it's not working then you can decide to tweak up or down.

You are doing badly cuz you are hungry- plain and simple. Try eating 1800-2000 nutritious calories per day and see how you do. Remember LOTS of veggies and lean meats- don't carb overload to get those calories.

I found knowing the calorie content of foods made me stay FAR away from it.

Ask your roommate if they mind keeping their junkfood that doesn't need to be refrigerated in their room so you aren't tempted. My husband keeps his junk food in the office and I don't go near it!

Don't give up! Good luck!

BlueEyes83
11-08-2010, 03:05 PM
I think 1250 is way too low for you. I started out at 235 and even I have never gone down to 1200 calories per day. At 269 eating 75% of daily calories that would put you at 2000 calories per day. Also if you exercise you definitely need way more than 1250 calories. The formula I use is weight x 10 x 0.75 = daily calories to lose weight (this is a rough estimate an old trainer gave me). For your body to maintain it's current weight it's weight x 10 for number of daily calories. That changes if you exercise- but for weight loss I think that's a reasonable number. Every 10 lbs re-evaluate the number. And if you find it's not working then you can decide to tweak up or down.

You are doing badly cuz you are hungry- plain and simple. Try eating 1800-2000 nutritious calories per day and see how you do. Remember LOTS of veggies and lean meats- don't carb overload to get those calories.

I found knowing the calorie content of foods made me stay FAR away from it.

Ask your roommate if they mind keeping their junk food that doesn't need to be refrigerated in their room so you aren't tempted. My husband keeps his junk food in the office and I don't go near it!

Don't give up! Good luck!

Really, 2000 calories a day? That seems so high, I use to do 1200 a day and did loose 40lbs but i had my support system back then (my brother). I want to loose at least 4lbs a week but would love to loose 5+ a week since I have so much to loose. How much would I probably loose a week doing 2000 calories?
I really don't exercise but sometimes will casual walk outside or on the treadmill.
Thanks!

carter
11-08-2010, 03:10 PM
I fear that 4-5 pounds a week is an unreasonable expectation. There's no hurry. Aim for 1-2 pounds a week and you have less of a chance of being disappointed and giving up entirely. Or even better, just aim for making a plan and sticking to it, and let your body lose at the rate it's comfortable losing.

The only way to know what calorie level will give you the results you want is to do the experiment. Try eating at 1800 calories/day for a month or two and see how much you lose. Then adjust from there. Everyone is different; no one can really tell you what your body will do.

munchievictim
11-08-2010, 03:50 PM
Blueeyes oh what a familiar situation :) :hug: it is the worst feeling in the world, that you're so out of control you can't even control what you're putting in your mouth. You're completely at the whim of the bagel. And you feel like it's totally IMPOSSIBLE to stop. You did it before, you know it's possible, but this time you just can't. I'm a binge-eater, and for me it was incredibly important to break the cycle. Once I'm sucked into my negative thought patterns, telling myself I've blown it anyway so why not eat?, and start rationalizing stopping to eat, it does feel impossible for me to drive past the darn restaurant. I would suggest that your first step should be to drive past. Don't stop, and realize that that's not the end of the world. You can eat that bagel anytime, and you're doing other stuff today. You're in charge today, not the bagel.
2000 calories is where I started. I didn't stay there long, but for me it was much easier to get things in control when I just focused on getting back to normal. Once I got a few days or a week under my belt at 2000 calories (always always food tracking!!), I started to formulate a weight-loss plan. Right now, I'm shooting for anywhere between 1300 and 1700 calories in a day. The flexibility really works for me, because I don't have to throw my whole day out if I want an extra couple of hundred calories. I just make sure my next day is closer to 1300. The zig-zagging is also giving me nice results, and always has in past weight-loss attempts. My body likes to settle in and get comfortable at a weight, which leads to plateaus, so keeping it on its (my?) toes by switching up calories every day helps keep me from getting stuck.
I know how close but unrealistic weight loss seems when you're trying to flag down the wagon and climb back on. I know how HARD it is to break those d*mn bad habits that order us to stop and get "delicious" fatty foods. But it's amazing how easy it gets after you do the hard part and break the cycle. It just takes a few days to break a habit. Like they say with smoking, the first 3 days are the hardest. In my experience, it's the same with food addiction. Once you get it out of your system and actually say no, you start to realize pretty quick that you don't need that crap :) However great it feels to eat that bagel, remember how much better it feels to lose weight.
I'm sending good thoughts your way dear :hug: it's hard, but it's worth it. And don't forget the most important part, YOU'RE worth it. (sounds cheesy but it's true! :D)

beerab
11-08-2010, 06:09 PM
Just remember if you go too low your body will slow down it's metabolism to compensate eventually.

If you don't workout then lower to 1800 and see what happens. Obviously 1200 isn't working anymore if you are having bad weekends and so on.

The fact is at 269 your body is burning at least 2690 calories a day, so to go down to 1200, less than half, is too little- there's no way around that. Also when your body starves it loses more muscle than fat. If you notice an anorexic person- they are squishy because they have lower muscle mass than normal people and higher fat cuz muscle burns fat and your body is trying to hold onto fat.

I think if you stick to 1800 per day (which for you is already 900 calories per day deficit) you'll see 2-3 lbs loss per week. 4-5 lbs is not going to happen every week- it just won't- eventually the loss will slow.