Weight Loss Support - MOTHER OF GOD this is going to take forever isn't it?

11-02-2010, 08:48 AM
So you guys might find this shocking, but I am a quick satisfaction kind of gal. As such, I am a bit discouraged by the amount of weight that I need to lose.

Any advice on psyching myself up for the long haul? I have heard short term goal setting works. So what, weekly loss of 1-3 lbs and just focus on the weekly goals, rather than the UNGODLY prospect of doing this till.the.end.of.time?

Any thoughts from the long haul/ old school crowd?

The first person to say "but Slayrick it is a lifestyle change" gets hurt. ;)

I understand this is a lifestyle change and I am working on it, but how to keep myself motivated, focused, stoked is the real question.


11-02-2010, 08:53 AM
Slayrick, instead of focusing on the "long haul", which can be overwhelming. Try to focus on how good you are feeling right now. Eating well, sleeping plenty and exercising makes you feel so good! My body gets a buzz out of getting treated well! Goofy I know, but sometimes that is what it takes. One day, one choice at a time...

11-02-2010, 09:02 AM
I focused on 5 pound goals and rewarded myself with non-food rewards when I hit them. For example, when I hit 190, I got a pedicure, at 185 I got a new pair of shoes, 180, some new makeup, etc...
I got rewarded periodically for my hard work, and I earned them, which made it even better.
Just my two cents.

11-02-2010, 09:03 AM
I just answered your other thread... take a look at it.

If you ask me, it doesn't take all THAT long. Really it doesn't. The human body is AMAZING. What I put it through for all these years, decades in fact, and then in a less than a year I completely reversed it.

The key to consistent, steady *fast* weight loss is STICKING with your plan, day in and day out. It's not for everyone, but it's what I chose. So if it's truly *faster* weight loss that you're after - stick with that plan of yours.

You mentioned motivation, I hate to tell you , this ain't about motivation my friend, it's about - commitment. Motivation is not lasting and never seems to be around when the pizza and beer are floating around - but commitment - the absolute determination and desire to *do this*, the absolute decision to do this once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT - that's what you need.

I also urge you to find the joy in this, not the dread. Make this delightful, pleasant, fun, an adventure and then it will be enjoyable to stick with. Don't dread these changes that have to occur - embrace them. Fall in love with this healthy way of life so that it's no burden to adhere to. Become passionate about it.

Because really, eating well, exercising, being a healthy weight is nothing to fear and loathe. Remaining overweight IS.

You also must use this time as time to get your plan down pat. Make it your own. Customize it, tweak it. Know it inside and out. Find strategies and skills to take you through all situations and events. Find healthy foods to love, exercise that you enjoy.

This journey is a wonderful time of self discovery and growth. Enjoy the heck out of it. I surely did.

11-02-2010, 09:03 AM
Thanks all. Keep the advice coming! It is appreciated.


11-02-2010, 09:09 AM
I'm not sure which one of you ladies I got this from but it stuck with me and I'm going to pass it forward:

"I can't lose 100 lbs...but maybe I can lose 5 lbs 20 times!"

That one small phrase that I got from someone on this site has stuck with me...and it really makes a difference. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

11-02-2010, 09:11 AM
Thanks all. Keep the advice coming! It is appreciated.


We posted at the same exact time, my post being right above yours; I hope you saw it. :smug:

11-02-2010, 09:13 AM
WORD! Ask and ye shall receive. Thanks ladies.

Rockin' Robin you are my new Yoda. Well said, Amen :)

Now I just need to get my generally sarcastic and snarky self on board. :)


11-02-2010, 09:44 AM
You have received some great advice. I personally set short term goals. 10 pounds at a time and they do add up. Stepping on the scale and seeing a loss os a great motivator for me.

11-02-2010, 09:45 AM
"Rockin' Yoda". :D

I love the word "commitment". A lot of us look at this one day at a time. Me? I'm looking at this one YEAR at a time. I knew it was going to take a while, but in all my other attempts "a while" was too vague. I need specifics. So I decided this was going to take me a year and I got really curious about how much I could lose in that amount of time.

My year is almost up and I've lost 75 pounds!! On November 9th, my start date, I'll take it for another year. I am taking it one year at a time for a life time. ;)

ETA: If a year doesn't work, how about one month at a time? Or six weeks at a time? Commit to sticking to a plan, NO EXCUSES, for a set amount of time.

11-02-2010, 09:49 AM
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

If only some of us hadn't taken that literally... ;)

And yes, it's the same for losing. One day, one meal, one snack choice, at a time. When you think about it, we don't know that we'll be alive ten minutes from now, so what difference does it make if losing takes "a long time"? It's all hypothetical... Just make your plan and stick with it "as though there is no tomorrow," instead of eating that way. ;)


AZ Sunrises
11-02-2010, 09:49 AM
Set tiny goals. If you can lose one pound, there's nothing stopping you from losing a second. It's a bonus when you see a 2 lb drop in a day...those days rock. :) It went on one at a time, if you can't focus on big picture, focus on obliterating the next pound.

katy trail
11-02-2010, 09:56 AM
remember, as many have said, the time is going to pass anyway. it might feel like it's passing slower or faster, but it's really the same speed as any other year.
my biggest problem isn't starting. it's getting back up. that is the difference between success or not.

include tons of nsv's non scale victories in your goals/plans. something as simple as being able to bend down and tie your shoes comfortably, you said no to a trigger food, you remembered to drink your water...the list goes on and on. celebrating those nsv's is fun, and so motivating! we are here for you! happy to celebrate, and if you need help getting up we're here for that too. once you are ready to really commit, you will. we can't really say anything to convince you, you have to want it more than anything. when you are feeling motivated, write it down. then when you need some motivation, read your letter to yourself or list of why you are doing this.

11-02-2010, 10:01 AM
No, it will not take you "forever," but if you don't make changes now you will stay overweight forever. The choice is up to you!

You can do this, even if it takes a little longer than expected. Don't get frustrated. Patience is key.

11-02-2010, 10:05 AM
If only some of us hadn't taken that literally... ;)

hahahahaha :D

I am taking mine in 50lb chunks. At first, I was still very deeply aware of the 'real' total and my 'current goal' was just fluff, but over time, I am really starting to believe that I'm only 46lbs away from goal. HA -- I've lost more than half! I have absolutely no intention of stopping after my current goal, but somehow my mind has allowed it to be my focus for now. I so got this, piece of cake!

11-02-2010, 10:18 AM
I use the weight as just another measure of my fitness returning. I've done up an Excel chart that calculates .01 weight loss per week (e.g. what is recommended as healthy), and use that as a guideline. Mine will take about 1.5 years. But I also track my food and nutrition (via SparkPeople.com), and weigh myself every morning to see how I'm metabolizing my food. For example, I've found sodium is a big issue for me. The other thing that works for me is measuring - using a pedometer to measure my steps, counting minutes exercised, etc. Then I gradually increase that, and so see a practical real-life improvement in my flexibility, strength, stamina, etc.

I think you'll find that in this journey, there's a lot of experimentation. Don't be afraid to try different things, and change it up until you find what works for you.

11-02-2010, 11:01 AM
Time is going to go by anyway whether you use it to get healthy or
you keep on with old habits. Wouldn't you rather look back a year from
now and be happy with the weight you have lost and the success you have
had, than to look back and think dang if I had just started I'd be X pounds
down right now.
Its like people who say I can't go back to college I'll be 50 when I graduate...well you'll be 50 someday anyway so why not turn 50 with a degree.

11-02-2010, 11:06 AM
Bad news. It's going to take the rest of your life.

I really don't think you can just make some intense changes and "get it over with". I think those are the folks we hear from who indicate their committment is waning and/or the ones who regain. We have to get to the place where we accept that we can't ever eat/exercise how we did and get the body and health we want.

11-02-2010, 03:52 PM
I agree with caryesings. The statistics on weight regain are sobering. One thing that's worse than losing a pile of weight is losing the pile, then gaining it back...with interest. (Been there, done that...more than once.)

I think the most productive way to approach weight loss is to use the time on the journey to discover and/or build a plan that you can, will, and are content to stick to for the rest of your life. Years ago, I literally despaired at the idea of being on a diet for the rest of my life. Now, it feels very freeing. I cannot eat intuitively, but I've gotten very good at calorie counting. I average 1400 calories a day now, and I expect to average about 1700-1750 calories a day in maintenance. My whole life, I've been able to lose weight or gain weight, but not maintain a weight; now, I have confidence that I can maintain by doing something similar to what I'm doing now. And it feels great!

I started this journey on December 29, 2008. I started losing 2 pounds a week, which has slowed to about 3/4 pound a week. My closest friends tell me how amazed they are that I have only minimal "bat wings" and other skin problems (I have a wrinkly wattle, but it has improved over time), and that I look fairly toned. I haven't done any weight training, but I have walked half an hour a day, six days a week, like clockwork. It's been nothing extreme, but I've persisted with it. I'm 49 years old with PCOS and a history of yo-yo dieting, and I'm now four pounds from my goal, and I feel great.

The fact that it has taken nearly two years has given my skin and my mind a chance to adjust to the changes in my body. It has also given me the tools to maintain my weight loss for the long term. Even on 1400 calories, I don't feel deprived. On my plan, I allow occasional treats and splurges--I count them, and, if I go over, I "pay it back". For me, the lack of feelings of deprivation is super-important--I don't think I could do it if I felt deprived.

I know it can be discouraging, but try to think of the time along the journey as a good thing, not a bad thing. Even bad days that sidetrack you can be learning experiences as long as you get right back on track.

:hug: Hang in there!

Arctic Mama
11-02-2010, 04:59 PM
I have to agree with Robin, motivation is seriously overrated. It is commitment and dedication that makes successful weightloss long term. I generally focus on small goals and reward myself with things I enjoy (in my case, hair sticks and baby wraps) for every ten pounds gone. And honestly, a good week on plan with small weightloss (normal 1-2 pounds) even can get a reward, maybe something small like buying a song from Itunes or a little bouquet from the grocery store. Small things every week that are NOT food rewards really do help me along.

11-02-2010, 05:53 PM
Throughout my weight loss the mantra that I kept repeating in my head (literally hundreds of times a day) was "just 5 more pounds". Whatever weight I was that day I'd think just 5 more down, just lose 5 more....

Cali Doll
11-02-2010, 06:11 PM
Girl, we are the same height and started at practically the same weight. Our goals are even similar. LOL! It took me 10 months to lose 60 pounds. I don't think that's long at all. You can do it! :-)

I think it'll get a lot easier once you start seeing results. Keep at it. It's so worth it in the end. I promise!

11-02-2010, 07:55 PM
The ONLY way I can do this, and I am not kidding, is one meal at a time. I never think ahead to the next one or say at the next meal maybe I can eat (fill in the blank). I just tell myself I can stick to this one healthy meal, of course I can.

It took me over 20 years to get fat, gaining five pounds a YEAR. Why would I think it's going to come off in a few months, that's crazy and not very healthy.

11-02-2010, 09:40 PM
It really helped me to look at weight loss "backwards," instead of working as hard as possible at drastic changes, to lose weight as fast as possible until I couldn't stand the deprivation anymore, I decided to only add in behaviors that I could be willing to do whether or not it resulted in any weight loss at all (As a result, any weight loss was a bonus).

I'm trying to actively lose more weight, and when I focus on the weight loss, I get discouraged (because it never comes off as fast as I'd like it to). I remind myself that I don't brush my teeth only when I see "results," (and what would those results be, people commenting on how shiny my teeth are?), it's just a way I take care of myself, and improving my eating habits are the same. I'm doing it to take care of myself, and I'm doing it forever whether or not I lose another pound.

For me, it also took seeing weight maintenance as sucess too, not just weight loss. In the past, I saw small weight losses or zero losses as failure. As bad as a gain (sometimes it almost felt worse, because while I consciously knew I should celebrate them, I didn't really believe it. It felt like no amount of loss could ever be enough to feel good about it. I had to learn to feel good apart from the scale).

I always gave up in the past, not because I was failing, but because slow success felt like failure. It felt like I was working so very hard, for so little benefit. For me, I had to take the "reward" out of the equation. I had to commit to healthy changes not just because I wanted weight loss, but because I wanted other health improvements that could be harder to measure. I had to trust the process whether or not I saw rapid, easily measured results. I don't brush my teeth because they fall out if I don't, and I'm not changing my eating habits and exercise only to lose weight (although losing weight is one of the important reasons).

Honestly, I think the only "secret" to success is refusing to give up. I'm succeeding slower than I ever have before, and I'm putting a whole lot less effort in than ever before (neither of which will prevent me from reaching my goal as long as I keep making progress, even if it's slow progress).

You don't always get a choice, but I'm choosing slow and easy over fast and hard (besides which my body doesn't seem to do fast anymore, even if I eat almost nothing). "Slow and easy" isn't really seen as a legitimate choice by many, but it's the only way that I've ever been able to stick to this long, so I'm ok with it. Losing slowly is far better than gaining at any speed.

11-03-2010, 05:18 AM
Thanks for the feedback guys. Informative, inspiring and, I gotta admit, you guys are amusing as all ****.

Went down another three lbs in three days, so I really cant complain this week.

Again, thank you guys for taking the time to post, it means a lot.


11-03-2010, 06:49 AM
If you find it difficult to set arbitrary weight loss mini-goals then you can always try to join in some of the challenges that go around on here - 15lbs for Christmas, 30lbs for Easter, all that sort of thing. It's just a miniature goal to work towards and you have a club of people all trying to do exactly what you are doing, 15lbs for Christmas. Whether they have 20lbs total or 300lbs total to lose, you are all working towards 15 just now.

11-03-2010, 07:11 AM
Would it help to think "Hey, this is going to last forever!"

These morning walks that are the perfect way to start my day? They are going to last forever!

The lifting of weights that are going to give me rockin' arms? It's going to last forever!

My yoga practice that keeps me limber and strong? It will last forever!

The feeling of being satisfied with healthy food and not going to bed stuffed and waking up thinking "what did I eat yesterday?" It's going to last forever!


11-03-2010, 11:14 AM
It looks like you've lost 5 pounds by your info near your name. Next time you go to the store, go pick up a 5 pound bag of flour or sugar. THAT'S how much weight is gone from your body....you are no longer lugging it around!! When you hit a 10 pound loss, do the same with a 5 pound bag in each hand. See how that makes you feel!!:carrot:

I started my journey on Jan. 11, 2010 and honestly thought I would be to goal way before now. I was disappointed the other day thinking about it. But then I thought, if I can get to goal by Jan. 11, 2011, that will be about 1 one pound lost per week. Not too bad.

Good luck to you!!

Beach Patrol
11-03-2010, 11:28 AM
You mentioned motivation, I hate to tell you , this ain't about motivation my friend, it's about - commitment. Motivation is not lasting and never seems to be around when the pizza and beer are floating around - but commitment - the absolute determination and desire to *do this*, the absolute decision to do this once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT - that's what you need.

This journey is a wonderful time of self discovery and growth. Enjoy the heck out of it. I surely did.

I love you Rockin' Robin! - All 5 foot nuth'n of ya!!!!! Just seems like even when I'm not expecting it, you say what I need to hear!!! And that's TOTALLY COOL. Thanx! :dancer:

11-03-2010, 11:39 AM
One thing that really got stuck in my head when I first found this site was what one of the above said - Time will pass anyway.
You think about it, I can EITHER - 1. Get on board now and next year/month/whatever be 5/10/20/etc pounds lighter. -OR- 2. I can keep eating the way I am and not paying attention and next year/month/etc I can be 5/10 pounds heavier. Either way, time will pass - so why not change it up and try something different?
Also, my ticker really helped me. You can't imagine how excited I would get at the end of the weeks I'd lost more than 1 pound!! lol

11-03-2010, 12:09 PM
I am SOOOO glad I read this thread! I tend to get discouraged because I want to see results immediately!
Everyone is so positive and has such good advice...I really am so glad I came here.
Making mini-goals for myself TODAY and am enjoying how good I feel for making this commitment!

11-03-2010, 02:33 PM
I totally agree with everything everyone has said!

My addition: Though I have made the commitment to myself, my health, etc. I do still like to have a little motivation. Since motivation is a fickle thing, I don't rely on just one or two things to keep me motivated... instead, I have a whole list that I can turn to and pick from as needed.

Things I do to stay "motivated"
- try new recipes
- focus on small weight loss goals at a time
- weigh daily (this way, I can try harder if the scale goes up a bit or do a happy dance if it goes down a bit)
- listen to Inside Out Weight Loss podcasts
- read "4 Day Win"
- celebrate the NSVs (Non Scale Victories)
- track exercise so I can see improvements
- join conests at the gym to keep me focused on a goal
- sign up for 5k's every other month
- Zumba class on Tuesday nights with friends (class was canceled last night - I nearly had a nervous break down)

AND now - I am working on building myself a "sanctuary". My basement is some what finished - There are two rooms built. I am cleaning out one (It has a nice window in it facing my back yard) and putting in my treadmill, yoga mat, weights, a table to sit at (to write in my journal or do some crafts). I am going to hang nice pictures on the wall. I am going to light candles when I am in it. This will be were I can go when I am having a rough evening (evenings are my hard times of the day) and I can walk on the treadmill or do some stretches on my yoga mat, etc. A spot in my house where I can go to have peace and NOT shove food in my mouth.

11-04-2010, 05:11 AM
Thanks again guys. The messages help, particularly "time is going to pass anyway" I never thought of it that way.


11-04-2010, 08:44 AM
That argument got me through grad school... :)

11-04-2010, 10:26 AM
That argument got me through grad school... :)

Mee too!

11-04-2010, 11:13 AM
Grad school easy. Weight loss hard.

11-04-2010, 12:58 PM
Well said everybody ! I hoping this thread has helped me gain the motivation to start taking those small babysteps backwards ! I have yo-yo dieted for years and I too found that looking at the big picture of how much weight I needed to drop was just so overwhelming for me ....... so I am going to refocus and start with 5 lbs off of ! My commitment begins today ..... I have all the " tools " I need to do this and this is such a great support group that this time I AM going to do it .... even if it takes me 100 weeks ( that is a pound off a week for me ! )