100 lb. Club - What About Me??
11-01-2010, 01:42 PM
I am not really sure what I am looking for here, but I need to find a way to focus on my health. I have all the knowledge in the world on how to do this, eat healthy nutritious foods, move more, etc.
Last night my 4 year old daughter asked me "why are some people fat" - I was a little taken aback, but without her noticing, I said "I am not sure what you mean" and she said - "you know fat, like people with big bellies". I don't want her to think of me as "fat". I never want her to be embarrased by me, which she definately isn't right now. She also said a few months back that she wanted me to save all my clothes, because she wants to wear them when she gets older. She also asked one time if when she got bigger would she have a big belly like me, but she talked then like it was a good thing.
I so dislike how our minds help us not look and feel as big as we are - how many pounds do the cameras add? I can count on one hand the number of pictures of her AND I that I am proud of. She's 4 and a half - today. May 1st baby.
Why can't I see how important it is to get a handle on this?
Just feeling a little down and over whelmed with life right now.
11-01-2010, 01:53 PM
Aww, I posted a thread recently about my 9 year old asking me why my loose arm skin was so gross. It really hit a nerve. A part of me knows that kids don't know any better, yet, the other part honestly knows that kids are pretty honest when it comes to stuff like that so it must be true!
When my daughter was 5, she was over hearing me complain about something to my "then" husband. Then she threw in her .02 and said "Aww, here comes fat sam, let's be mean to her today, no offense mom" I realized at that moment she was embarrassed of me. But instead of changing, I just fell deeper into a hole and put on even MORE weight.
I know kids ask the strangest questions, and say the darndest things, but I know how you feel. And for what it's worth, it wasn't even her comments that snapped me out of it. People say "JUST DO IT! ITS EASY!" But it isn't. It really won't happen until you are ready for it to happen. Not until you can make that lifestyle change.
My only regret, I didn't do it sooner. Best of luck to you! I hope you will find what you are looking for!
11-01-2010, 01:54 PM
She's your daughter and she loves you no matter what you weigh but, as you've seen, she also views you as her primary female role model. If you really want some incentive to 'get a handle on things' then think about her. What do you want to model for her? What do you want her attitudes towards food and her own body to be when she gets older? Think about that and then make that your attitude right now.
Love yourself and the skin that you're in right now. Don't beat yourself up (verbally or non verbally) because of the way that you look or what you weigh. You don't want your little girl to learn that her worth is tied up in the number on the scale. You want her to be a confident young woman who sees the beauty in herself regardless of what she looks like or the number on the scales, right?
When it comes to health, eating healthy and exercising. Live the example of the life you know will be healthy for her in the long term. Make cooking and eating healthy foods and going for family walks, bike rides, etc. as much a natural part of your lives as getting up and brushing your teeth are.
You can do this! You deserve to be healthy and happy and she deserves to have a healthy and happy mommy! :hug:
11-01-2010, 02:20 PM
Thanks ladies -
What you both wrote was more helpful than either of you may realize.
I truly apprecite it.
11-01-2010, 02:58 PM
Why can't I see how important it is to get a handle on this?
But I think you DO see the importance of this. You listed the points right here in your post. :hug: You see that you need to make changes for your daughter and for yourself as well. And according to your ticker and avatar you have been successful!
I've found that the most difficult part of this has been about the patience it takes to see it through. But it doesn't take a long time to start reaping the benefits of weight loss.
Keep trucking. ;) Make small changes here and there if you work better that way. Maybe challenge yourself to a new healthy change every month. Or overhaul your lifestyle now, today! Whatever works for you. Just know that you and you alone possess the power to see this through.
11-01-2010, 10:34 PM
You know, for me, it took not letting me fool myself into thinking I was fit enough to keep up with my kids (ages 5 & 1). So I made a promise to my older daughter, that I would get more fit so we could play together more. I have a large canvas print of my daughters in my living room, and when I would do exercise DVDs I would stare at it. I added pictures of my girls to my phone and I would play the slideshow while I was on the elliptical trainer. I made it so that I had that constant reminder in my face as to why I was working so hard. Just recently my daughter said that she could hug more of me (she could get her arms around me more), and that she liked that. I like it too! I was a overweight child, who ate too much and was far too inactive. I want to be the one to show her that being healthy and fit is what you're supposed to be.
11-01-2010, 11:41 PM
i have a four year old daughter, too- an august baby...and i know what you mean. part of me wanting to be healthy is wanting to be fit and active for her- to be able to run and play with her, and not be soooo tired all the time from lugging around an extra person on my back.
she doesn't notice weight AT ALL- i have made it a point to never talk about my weight or anyone's weight around her, and she is super sheltered. she doesn't know the word "ugly" or "fat" or even "skinny"- but i realize that when she gets to kindergarten things will start to change. already, she just started preschool 3 days/week and she has learned some things--
so it's hard. we just have to do the best we can and role model in the best way we know how. kids are embarrassed of their parents for SO many reasons- but they also love and are proud of their parents, no matter what size they are. ((((hugs))))
11-02-2010, 08:51 AM
Thanks Ladies -
I deserve more and so does she.
Onward and Downward.
11-02-2010, 09:52 AM
11-02-2010, 09:01 PM
I worry about this same thing. I have been waiting almost 7 years to be a Mom. And I want to be the best one I can, and I always worry I will teach them unhealthy things about weight. I am so grateful that I have really started to learn this year how to take the weight off. And feeling healthier and happier.
I am also a firm believer that all of these experiences will add up to you finally doing it if you let it. Its hard, but let this experience fire you up!