100 lb. Club - My worst struggle so far...

View Full Version : My worst struggle so far...

10-27-2010, 12:40 AM
Just ate a bunch of salty almonds and bread. :mad:

I'm not on a full out binge or wildly off plan with things like sweets, but I'm the most out-of-control I've been since June 2009 when I started this journey.

I'm still clinging to the rudiments of my plan-- same healthy breakfast, healthy lunch, healthy dinner-- but I've totally ramped up the snacking-- handfuls of almonds, extra apples, and tonight, a big hunk of bread.

Exercise-- not happening. I joined the gym last week and went twice, but have not exercised since.

I KNOW that there is A LOT of stress in my life right now.

I'm not using ANY of my non-food coping mechanisms.

Weight has crept up about three pounds.


For the first time since I started this process, I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of that slippery slope-- the one where you stop exercising, then start snacking a little more just on healthy stuff... then some bad stuff creeps in, and the next thing you know (at least historically for me...) I'm elbow deep in a 2lb bag of M&Ms.

I REFUSE to go there. I REFUSE. I did not lose more than 100 lbs for NOTHING.

10-27-2010, 01:18 AM
Just start again fresh tomorrow, you can do it. Exercise will HELP with your stress, try and do some if you can. The fact that you lost 109 lbs tells me you can do anything, so just do it!

10-27-2010, 01:53 AM
If you're anything like me, just because I lost over a hundred pounds doesn't mean anything. I can put it back on a heck of a lot faster than I took it off. I've found that the best thing to do is to STOP RIGHT NOW. Don't wait until tomorrow!!!! That's what I always told myself, I've already blown it today, so I might as well eat everything in sight and I'll start over tomorrow. Well, sometimes tomorrow came and went and I was still eating and sometimes I would start over. Why take the chance, stop right now!! I made it within two pounds of my goal and the next thing I knew, I had eaten an extra bite here and an extra bite there and was 25 pounds from my goal. I've managed to lose part of the 25, but will I stop the next time or be back to 290 in no time. I don't want to take the chance, so for today I'm doing everything in my power to stay on plan. I don't know if this makes much sense, but felt I needed to say it.

katy trail
10-27-2010, 02:01 AM
yes! start right now.

and also remember one snack, one day doesn't really do that damage. you can still choose to be healthy! to be happier! maybe you could read one of the threads going right now. why you are losing the weight. why this time is different. there's a few different ones. or read some inspiring stories. don't quit now! you've made so much progress, keep going!

katy trail
10-27-2010, 02:02 AM
and maybe there's a trigger you need to adress or adjust your plan in some way. you CAN do this!

10-27-2010, 04:05 AM
I'm speaking from a micro version of this:I went away for a 4 day break and gained 5.2lbs. Of course it was mostly carb water from unhelpful choices but the worst thing was the Monday a week ago when I sat at the top of the slippery slope and knew that all my coping techniques had flown out the window, got locked in a box to which I didn't have the key.

Feeling the same panic you're describing, all I could find to do (and thus recommend) was to call it Day #1, and write up the strictest version of my plan that I could, and go at it with a Day #1 obsession.

*I've since also chosen to change things Slightly, by varying my daily calorie intake (same weekly levels) not because I think shifting has any inherent value but because it makes me concentrate, and retrieve Day #1 passion.

*On my doctor's advice, I've just this week started making quite a detailed plan for my day/week. This is because I suffer from depression from October onwards, and want just to sit in a heap in front of the TV, on the devil settee that sucks me in. First thing Monday I divided an A3 sheet (on the computer) into hours from 8 - 8, and wrote in the things I would do. I've created a 2 hour space on Thursday called Thursday Bucket, to catch anything I didn't manage to do. So far I'm finding it a great de-stressor because the things I've put in are very achievable but they some of them could easily just not get done as I sink into the slump, which only gets worse as I fail to do certain things, like walk, like clean the kitchen, etc etc.

Would that kind of uber planning be a help to you? I know you have your healthy meals planned - but would giving yourself a Day #1 vamp help to revive your concentration?
Would making a detailed timetable/plan for your week - work, life, exercise etc - help to nail some of the stress by organization?

Have a low calorie :hug: in the mean time.

10-27-2010, 04:28 AM
Over eating. Not having to eat surgary things just eating tons of everything I sit down to gobble down and eating so fast. Hungry all the time

10-27-2010, 07:44 AM
ubergirl - so sorry your are struggling so much of late. Stress and cravings etc.- ar an ugly monsters that can get to us sometimes. So glad you came here to talk about it. I know folks will have many ideas.

Please forgive yourself for eating any extra unplanned food.

I've learned a few things that can help me. Maybe these ideas will help you.

Often when I have a craving, stress or desire to keep eating. I use what I call ISNIR and the Five D's. I start with ISNIR - saying each thing to myself. (It's easier to remember these when I make a 'word' out of the things to do) Then I go to the Five D’s, if necessary.

I - Identify as craving, emotional stress or desire (That's what IT IS.)but, eating it is NOT an emergency,
S - Stand firm and Strengthen your reserve
N - No choice - the hardest part of a craving or desire is the anxiety & urgency you feel when you want to eat it - you don't think you can get through it. But you can.
I - Imagine how bad you'll feel after eating it.
R - Remember why you want to do this.
(say these things to yourself)

The Five D's -
Distance yourself from that food.
Distractions - take a walk, call a friend, go outside, come to 3fc etc.
Drink Water
Deep Breathing - this can calm you
Destroy the food. - take dish soap and dump it on the food you can't resist or stay out of. Better in the trash than you.

I write these down every day in my journal. So, that I remember them. If I do this - often I can stop unplanned eating. Just need to be willing to do so.

Also - NO CHOICE equals a red light. If you were driving down the street and saw a red light ahead. Would you stop? Of course you would. You have NO CHOICE because it's a red light. It can transfer this to food. If you give yourself NO CHOICE you know you must stop because it's a red light situation.

I think doing all these things take time and this breaks the cycle long enough to get my composure back when I am about to eat things I don't really need to.

(these are all adaptations of things I've read from Dr. Judith Beck's book - The Beck Diet Solution. A book about learning to live with food in a sane manner)

10-27-2010, 09:48 AM
:hug: We understand. Being successful does not mean we don't struggle. I still struggle often. You see and acknowledge what is happening. That is half the battle right there! You are not sticking your head in the sand. I am so glad that you refuse to go back.

I think that having a fear of the slippery slope is a good thing. We respect what too much food can do to us the same way that we respect fire. It is useful but must be handled with care.

I find that I can overeat on healthy stuff when I used to think the entire problem was junk food. I can see how overeating on the healthy stuff can lead to the M&Ms. :)

Like the others said, start now. You know what to do because you have been doing it. You just got off the track a little, so get right back on.

I know that you can do this. :)

10-27-2010, 09:58 AM

Uber, you KNOW what you need to do. Now you need to make the commitment to yourself to do it. You did this when you first began this journey or you'd never have lost over 100 pounds! You need to reclaim that commitment you had when you first began your journey.

On plan, totally. Not just the rudiments (because you could gain back every ounce eating just a few extra handful of nuts every day) but the plan. Regular exercise because it's good for your mind and good for your body.

Just do it. Start today. Eat only on plan. Hit the gym even if only for 10 minutes. Just start now. :)

10-27-2010, 10:05 AM
I'm not using ANY of my non-food coping mechanisms.

I was so glad to read that! not that you're struggling of course, but that you have things in place to deal with stressors in your life. I'm glad no one offered the advice of "get rid of the bread and almonds" as THEY aren't the problem. They are inanimate objects just sitting there lol, it's US that's the problem. KNOWING you're under stress and that you're standing at the precipice of a slippery slope is key -- that way you can revisit all your coping skills, brush up on them all, and get the upper hand again. I'm rooting for you!

10-27-2010, 10:41 AM
Don't let this slide continue. I was down to 120 ten years ago, then I kept slipping into my old habits and gaining 5 pounds here, 10 pounds there and kept thinking, oh it'll be okay, I'll just go back on a diet and lose it. Well, I got back over 300 pounds.
You will stop this, now! I know you can do it!

10-27-2010, 11:33 AM
Just don't stop weighing. For me, anyway, once I stay off the scale for a week or two I am in deep trouble. It's my "sticking my head in the sand" mechanism and can lead to rapid weight gain. Stay aware. Just the fact that you put it out there and recognized what is going on is HUGE.

No other advice, just hugs. You are a success already.

10-27-2010, 11:45 AM
*On my doctor's advice, I've just this week started making quite a detailed plan for my day/week. This is because I suffer from depression from October onwards

I get seasonal depression as well, I use a light box, blue light, and love it, it's not nearly as nice as the sun, ha, but it keeps me out of the danger zone and pretty level.

10-27-2010, 12:20 PM
You clearly see what's wrong, but some kind of paralysis has set in where taking action is concerned.

Why? Are you tired of the effort?

I've read elsewhere that willpower is a muscle, and it does tire. Which is why behavior psychologists advise things like avoiding tests of your willpower. (Such as not keeping those almonds around.)

What, exactly, are the stressors that you are dealing with? Are they different than the ones you coped with when you were more zealous in your efforts?

I'm just trying to figure out what the reward is for your current actions, which keep you repeating them, rather than correcting them.

I suspect you're telling yourself: "I'm stressed, so it's okay," but doing this over & over. Maybe the stressed feeling is what you ought to examine.

10-27-2010, 07:02 PM
Oh you guys are THE BEST!!!!! I really really do appreciate each and every insight offered here.

1. It is not as bad as I thought last night. The late night mini-binge is not something I've been doing on a regular basis. It has happened maybe 2-3 x over the course of the last 18 months. I've never suffered what I would call a full-out binge--but it still scares the @#$%^ out of me. Today is a new day, and I've been on plan so far. Why? Because the habits that got me to lose 105+ lbs are still there and they work for me most of the time.

2. What I've found is that the "NO" food concept (or what Beverly is calling the Red Light foods) really does work for me. Almonds are going to have to go on the permanent no list for me. I've always had them in my house and I never ate them, then all of a sudden I did, and they've become a problem. I'm going to have to put them on my "no" list which includes most other salty snacks.

But regarding the ever insightful Saef's question about paralysis setting in-- I'm not really sure. I think paralysis, along with stress-eating, is one of my long-term coping mechanisms when I have too much on my plate (I mean, not food-wise, LOL). I get so stressed that I don't know where to start and so I do nothing. But in this case "doing nothing" means getting all indecisive about what time I should exercise, and ending up not exercising at all.

I DO have a lot of stress right now-- move to a new city with my family and a new job, and also finishing up a big two year project I've been working on.

But what got to me, food-related was that my weight loss plateau'd during August, right before I moved, and my weight loss had slowed to less than one pound per week....and also, here, nobody knows that I used to weigh almost 300 lbs, and so I don't get the constant reinforcement from people who knew me fat. Now, I'm just another lady-- not fat, not thin, but kind of in the middle. I'm pretty slim, but I'm sure I don't look to others like a person who obsessively watches her weight.... it's a change for me. In some ways I enjoy being "incognito" and not being always "the fat lady who lost all the weight." But on the other hand, it's incredibly hard for me to remember how recently I was morbidly obese.

Anyway, I'm soldiering on. NO more skipping workouts. They are KEY to managing my stress. And NO MORE ALMONDS. Life is too short.

10-28-2010, 08:33 AM
Everybody has some kind of slip. But you have shown the ability to recognize it and stop it. I was in such a deep dark depression last year that I gained 15 pounds. It was all stress and the lack of being able to get out in the winter to go do something good for myself like exercise. I know you will get through this and keep moving down the scale. Keep your chin up!

10-28-2010, 08:58 AM
Just don't stop weighing. For me, anyway, once I stay off the scale for a week or two I am in deep trouble. It's my "sticking my head in the sand" mechanism and can lead to rapid weight gain. Stay aware. Just the fact that you put it out there and recognized what is going on is HUGE.

No other advice, just hugs. You are a success already.

I agree with this! Above all else this one thing right here would mean the difference between sliding all the way down that slope and hanging onto the edge. As long as I weigh every day, I will be ok.

Almonds became my go-to food too. Weird huh? Stranger, mine are unsalted. I put them on my "no" list as well a few weeks ago. I love crunchy things to nibble on. I'm trying to make snow-peas my munching food now. It's not the same. ;)

Come around more often! I noticed that your slop began with your move and you come by less and less frequently. Just saying... :^: