Small victory, I haven't binged during the whole thing...
I think I'd get sick anyways. I started off with my fiance asking if we should split and ended with my dad not wanting to walk me down the isle.
I'm stressing with school and work. I have no time to think. My fiance was trying to help. We talked it out and I thought it was going to be ok.
We went to visit my parents. My fiance and dad talked. My dad told him to talk me into eloping because since my fiance and I live together and I am no longer a virgin, he can't in good conscience walk me down the isle when we do get married. He also told my fiance to keep it a secret. We don't keep secrets from each other. My heart is in pieces.
I just want to cry.
I feel dumb. We're going to elope.
I guess you could say I'm fishing for words of encouragement right now. In all truth, I just feel completely crushed and confused.
There was a similar situation when I got married. Although, my father never approached my now husband... I would have been utterly crushed .
That said... we eloped and it was wonderful. It was so nice not to have the stress of pleasing other people and worrying about what anyone else was doing or feeling. We got dressed up and had our wedding on the beach and it was lovely.
It is not your fault at all that your day is behaving the way he is and that's really awful of him. You don't need anymore stress either, you're working very hard!
Whether you elope or not, I'm sure you'll have a beautiful wedding. If your father doesn't want to be a part of it, that's his problem, not yours. That must really suck, but try and not let it get you down! You're not the one at fault here. <3
Ditto to what the others said. I'm so sorry that your father feels that way. In this day and age, there is no pretense that everyone who gets married is a virgin. Your father walking you down the aisle should mean that he supports the union, not that he approves of the match and will be delivering the dowry later on with proof of the blood-stained bridal sheet.
Is eloping really your only option? Would your father attend your wedding, even if he doesn't walk you down the aisle? Many women choose to walk themselves down the aisle. Maybe their father passed away, can't walk, is in prison, in the hospital, in another country, etc. There is nothing shameful about walking yourself down the aisle. What's important about a wedding is that you have a day you will always remember with joy. If walking the aisle by yourself will take that away from you, then maybe you are better off eloping.
In the end, it's the life you're making with your fiance that matters, not just the day you start. Just as each day of your weight-loss journey is just as important as the first!
your father is a poopie head and I want to bop him.
You should have the wedding you want to have. If you want to have a regular (non-eloping) wedding have it and walk down with someone who is proud to be by your super sexy, beautiful tough army medic self. I think your father telling you to elope is to make him feel better about being a poopie head.
Take some time 1. to make sure you and your fiance are solid and 2. to deal with everything. I guess you haven't set a date yet so take sometime to make sure you figure out what YOU really want.
Im sorry to say this, but there is something seriously wrong with your father.
I had my grandpa walk me down the aisle, as my bio-dad was invited but NOT asked to walk me, and i didnt want to offend him by asking my step dad. It still caused problems. No matter what you do, there will be issues. You won't please everyone, just remember, its YOUR wedding.
It sounds like you're going through some tough times, but I'm sure you'll have wonderful wedding whether you elope or not. Just hang in there, you're young, beautiful and going places and it will all be ok in the end.
There's nothing you can do if your dad's ideas are old fashioned. I guess in his own way he's just trying to do what he believes the right thing, but try and not let it get to you. You can get through this and shine when you come out the other side
Thanks everyone. Everything looks better in the morning light. My dad and I are close...it's just his christian faith comes first for him. My fiance and I stayed up most the night talking, and have decided to elope. We don't really want to deal with a wedding. We don't want the politics of family to take over. My great aunt didn't even go to her daughters wedding for the same reason my dad won't walk with me. He'd come to the wedding, and I know my fiance's dad would proudly walk me if I asked, but I can't do that to my dad. ( I barely know my grandfather on my mom's side, My grandmother on my dad's side isn't talking to us and she won't let my pap talk to us either not that he can do much as it is--he has Parkinson's--and my mom's mothers second husband makes me extremely uncomfortable--long story).
Anyways, my great aunt already said she refuses to come to the wedding, and I know most of my family won't come but will be pissed if they don't get an invitation and in all truth I don't want them there. I wanted it to be a small wedding with my parents and brothers, and my fiances family. Now it just doesn't seem worth it.
I don't think my fiance and I can really afford a wedding anyways. I'm not asking for help from my parents. They had agreed to pay for a dress, but I don't feel comfortable even asking for that when I feel I've failed my father.
As with all bad things it will pass. It just really hit me, hard.
It sounds like you've come to the decision that's best for you I'm sure you will have a wonderful and unforgettable wedding day! Congratulations!
My best friend is estranged from her father. She chose to walk herself down the aisle and I can't imagine her doing anything else. It was perfect. We all have to do what's best for US. Don't forget, it's YOUR day.
I'm a low drama girl and wanted a low drama wedding, if I can't have that I don't want any of it.
Smile point* My fiance asked me last night if I wanted to fly to Vegas and get married by Elvis. We would take my dog for my maid of honor, his dog for the best man, and we'd pick up a stray from the pound for the flower girl!
I love Brian so much, even when my worlds falling apart, he can make me smile through the tears.
I don't feel comfortable even asking for that when I feel I've failed my father.
I dont think you have failed your father at all- you sound like a wonderful, successful, kind, caring, intelligent daughter that anyone would be proud to have
I'm sorry you are going through this. Weddings seem to do some crazy things to families. Me and my fiance are getting married in Vegas in April. It's just less stress for everyone. I was upset at first bc my family couldn't make it, but you know a wedding is an intimate moment for the two of you.
We will have a reception for all our family and friends once we return. Maybe that is something you can do so you guys can share the marriage with family.
If you decide you do want to get married in Vegas I can invite you to a Vegas Brides group on facebook where we all share reviews on venues, etc. Not all Vegas weddings are cheesy and cheap. In fact, since we are getting married in Vegas I am getting the wedding of my dreams for the price some brides spend on their photographers here at home.
When your heart is in your throat...
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I'm sure you will have a wonderful and unforgettable wedding day! Congratulations! 
