100 lb. Club - When people don't understand how you did it

10-23-2010, 10:37 AM
I had to let some co-workers know about the stress that is going on in my life right now because I'm going to have to miss some work. One of them piped in and said, "Oh, no wonder you lost so much weight."

Now, I don't mind that she said this. She was being sympathetic and many, many people DO lose weight because they are stressed, sad, depressed, whatever. But NOT ME! LOL! I have had to FIGHT GAIN. When I'm stressed, I seek chocolate!

I emphatically shook me head. Nuh-uh. :no: I lost this weight from hard work and perseverance. LOL! I felt like that comment cheapened my efforts, I guess because the weight certainly did not melt off because I have been so stressed. In fact, I have been stressed AND I have had to fight cravings because of it.

Do you ever get a little defensive if someone thinks you lost the weight by some other method?

10-23-2010, 10:52 AM
Yes. Very much so. My mother went into the hospital on 19 June and died on 07 July. I lost 8 pounds during that time. When I posted the weight loss on my blog, I got a couple of comments along the lines of "Grief will do that to you." Um no, grief made fighting the cravings and urges to binge that much harder. It does feel like it takes away the victory of the weight loss and makes it seem effortless in the eyes of others. Which stings. I wish I knew how to effectively communicate that to the people saying such things, but I don't. *hugs*

10-23-2010, 10:55 AM
Do you ever get a little defensive if someone thinks you lost the weight by some other method?

All the time Eliana! It's like they are searching and trying to determine the one little thing that is the magic weight loss bullet! :no: No, it is not just because I work part time (although I really want to move to full time). No, it is not just because I weight train. No, it is not because I drink water. It's a bunch of things we do all together called a healthy lifestyle!

Here at 3fc, we get it! I'm sorry that you are stressed. :hug: But please remember that chocolate, while tasting super yummers, will not solve your problems. Maybe chocolate in moderation...

10-23-2010, 11:09 AM
I've had more than one person comment that I could stick to my plan because I didn't have children so didn't have to have the "bad food" in the house. Excuse me, if the food is bad for you, why would you feed it to your children? I'm not talking about turning into a nutrition ****, but I promise you that your children will have opportunities to eat junk outside of your house.

10-23-2010, 11:20 AM
Cary, I couldn't agree more! I think that too, and I HAVE children! I hate to see moms who stress themselves out cooking two meals because the children have to have mac and cheese. Once in a while maybe...I guess...I never do. I do make mac and cheese now and then but as a side dish and a small portion at that. The kids eat what I eat. They make it so much harder on themselves that way!

As for my chocolate? LOL! It's on its way out. I have four days under my belt without it now. It always takes three to get it out of my system. But I definitely crave it in times of stress.

10-23-2010, 11:29 AM
I had a friend of a friend say to me the other day that I'd better go to the doctor and get a thorough checkup because I'm losing weight too fast and it's not normal. Then the twit said I probably have lung cancer from smoking and that'll cause rapid weight loss! I was like WTF!? She said this as she was getting out of the car to go in her house, so I didn't have a chance to reply...I was too shocked! My friend apologized for her friends behavior...I told her not to ask me out with that crazy lady again.

10-23-2010, 11:35 AM
it's always been my theory that the difference between fat people and skinny people is that fat people eat when they are stressed and skinny people stop eating when they are stressed.

and people are stupid :lol:

10-23-2010, 11:42 AM
I just never know what to say that doesn't sound arrogant but also doesn't cheapen my own efforts. I hate the phrase "I wish": "I wish I had your discipline", "I wish I had the time", "I wish I could do that". I didn't win the lottery.

One time, about 100 lbs down, a small group of women at work were complimenting me, and I said "Thank you. I'm not going to lie, it's been tough", or something like that, and a clueless friend of mine goes "It hasn't seemed that bad." Basically, if you don't complain (and I don't, much, because that's boring to listen to) people think it's been easy.

10-23-2010, 11:46 AM
The guy I used to (note past tense) buy my cats' food from was really quite obnoxious about it. As in, he'd say to other customers in the shop, "She's lost so much weight, and she won't tell us the secret!" It was really creepy and uncomfortable, and he just would NOT let it go, no matter how often I gave him the same bloody answer: counting calories and exercising and that is IT. It's not some kind of esoteric knowledge held only by a few people who've climbed a giant mountain and managed to get some kind of totally enlightened hermit to tell them The Secret of Weight Loss, but from the way he went on, you'd think so.

10-23-2010, 11:49 AM
I tend to ignore ignorant people. Life is simpler that way.

10-23-2010, 01:23 PM
I tell them what I've done to lose weight unless it was a driveby comment.

10-23-2010, 01:38 PM
[QUOTE=cherrypie;3534625]it's always been my theory that the difference between fat people and skinny people is that fat people eat when they are stressed and skinny people stop eating when they are stressed.

not me, I eat when I'm happy and can't eat a thing when I'm stressed! and still I got so fat!

10-23-2010, 02:12 PM
I eat when I'm happy....and I eat when I'm stressed...

Both make very good excuses!

10-23-2010, 02:44 PM
I eat when I'm happy....and I eat when I'm stressed...

Both make very good excuses!

LOL! Yes, this! :D

I have moments of losing my appetite at a meal if a bomb has been dropped in the middle of it. But it affects just that...one meal. I'm generally pretty good by the next one! And I eat for so many reasons...hunger, entertainment, boredom, frustration, self-deserving, to satisfy an oral fixation which usually happens when I'm concentrating. I eat because the television commercial made me think of pizza. Never a lot. That's always been my problem. All of these "reasons to eat" may happen in one day and if I feed them all, well that's a lot of calories, even if each helping wasn't all that big. THAT right there has been my problem all along. Small amounts of self-satisfying grazing on crap all day long.

10-23-2010, 03:50 PM
I still have someone at work who's convinced i had gastric bypass, so much so that i lifted my shirt to show her my tummy "NO SCARS, SEE???" lol as if I did that, but I'd had enough! I'd been saying over and over "I started with the FORK, not the KNIFE!" grrrrr :D

10-23-2010, 06:13 PM
I have been asked both, if I am sick or have I had WLS. Yes, I get a little defensive and tell them that I worked for my weight loss. I try to be a good sport about it because I think the root of people questioning my weight loss is the belief that losing a large amount of weight is only possible through WLS or sickness. Many, many people just don't think that it is possible to lose a large amount of weight with diet and exercise. I am happy to show them that it is possible.

10-23-2010, 11:29 PM
Do you ever get a little defensive if someone thinks you lost the weight by some other method?


3 times now people have asked me if I had WLS. It makes it seem like they didn't know me at all since I've been losing weight OVER 3 YEARS.

It bothers me that people *think* this is the easy way out (it isn't). Its like they think "yeah, Matt losts a ton of weight, he had to have done something drastic".

10-23-2010, 11:32 PM
Oh it totally irks me! I hate when people assume things. People have asked me if I've had Lipo (no), if I just don't eat (no), etc etc... It's really hard to reason with people who think that quick fixes are the only way to lose weight.

10-24-2010, 12:26 AM
I've had people ask me if I've been sick. I've had people assume that I've had WLS. I've had one person that finally agreed that I hadn't had WLS, but had liposuction.

I've had people tell me how *lucky* I am that I was able to lose the weight. Lucky? So it kinda just came off??? It's dissolved on its own???

And just last week, after someone said it yet again to me, that I was lucky I lost the weight and I went into a whole song and dance that "luck's got nothing to do with it, we get to choose whether or not we lose the weight, it's our choice, it's up to us,"

And she conceded that okay, maybe I wasn't lucky that I got the weight off, maybe I DID work for it, but that I was lucky that I had such discipline. "Well, ummm, again, luck didn't make me disciplined, it was my commitment and determination... ah, nevermind"

People want to believe what they want to believe. It makes them feel better about the choices that they make and the ones that don't make.

10-25-2010, 03:59 AM
I was asked twice about WLS this weekend. I know everybody here has said the same, but I was still surprised. There must be a lot of weight loss surgery going around for people to jump to that conclusion.