[MindiV]

My husband, through calorie counting, has gone from 285 pounds to 220 pounds over the past year. Yay for him, right? Then 12 weeks ago he decided to quit smoking using the nicotine patch. He did great at first, then all of a sudden, on the lowest level patch after weeks and weeks of good work, BAM - started substituting food for cigarettes.

And the doctor he saw a week ago told him he'd rather that he went back to smoking than gain weight. Seriously? Obesity is bad for you, but so is smoking. And the doctor would rather he smoke. He doesn't want to smoke, but he is going to gain back all the weight then some at the rate he's going. He was at or over his calorie total today before 6 am, after having cereal, a pack of donuts and a deep fried breakfast burrito. He still has lunch and dinner.

The snacking was bad before, but not nearly as bad as it's been since he "received the doctor's blessing" to smoke again. And he's smoking today now, because "he doesn't want to gain weight." He hates the taste of cigarettes and hates the way they make him smell and feel. But he's using them now as a tool to maintain his weight.



Just ranting...it's not my decision in any way, shape or form. My mom died from complications of smoking, and I HATE to see him smoke. I hate smelling him as a smoker, and rarely even kiss him. It's been SO nice not having ashes all over the place and the smell of smoke in his pickup or my car, or on his clothes. But before he stopped smoking, after the weight loss, he was just a happier person all around. And mentally, he's determined now to be fat and be a non-smoker, or be a smoker and be thinner and more healthy for now.

I'm at a loss.

[stellarosa27]

Can't he just up the level of the patch?

[krampus]

The withdrawal and sugar cravings are just part of the package. Lots of people gain weight after quitting but there's no rule saying you have to be part of that majority. Without sounding insensitive, he's a grown man who knows what's at risk - surely he can just push on through with minimal weight gain?

[MindiV]

He's been through all the patches, 21 mg, 14 mg and now he's been on the 7 mg way too long. Next step is no patch, and he doesn't think he can do it. I think he's also started his whole weight loss journey with a bad compulsive eating issue that he got under control, and now it's back to the beginning. When he wants to smoke, he eats.

Maybe he's just not meant to NOT smoke. Even 1 day without a patch and he's got unbearable anger issues. He went three days when he took the step down off the patches and thought he was literally losing his mind - that's why he went to the doctor, and received the "blessing" to smoke again.

I keep telling myself he's a grown man, he can make his own decisions. But he's well on his way to becoming an overweight smoker again, and when he was both, he was totally unhappy and unmotivated.

[LindsB]

this may sound REALLY stupid coming from someone who has never smoked, but I've heard that a lot of it has to do with constantly having something in your mouth...cuold he try reachign for a sugar free sucker or something ever time he wanted a cig?

There HAS to be a way around both of these issues....I'm sure it isn't an easy way, but it sounds like he needs to mentally believe he can do it first....

[MindiV]

He's been using sugar free candy, gum and even toothpicks as a crutch for weeks, and it's stopped working for him. I think it IS key that he has to believe he can do it....and he doesn't think he can.

I wonder if it's not too much for now...the weight loss attempt, stop smoking attempt AND the job stress he's having. I hate for him to start smoking again and try again to stop later. He's been through a lot already and I hate to have him start all over with the withdrawals and more. But to me it's harder on the body, maybe, to gain back a lot of weight and lose it again? I'm not a smoker either, so I don't know....I feel like I can't give advice because I haven't "been" there, you know?

[LindsB]

I think you have to be hard on him in this situation. I hate to sound mean and insensitive, but what good are you doing by enabling him to go back to unhealthy ways?

There are times in life where we have to put our big girl/big boy pants on and just get through it. Excuses now, will just lead to excuses in the future. I totally believe that it may be necessary for him to take baby steps. Maybe focus on only losing 1lb per week and continue to lay off the cigs.

[MindiV]

He's gone so far as to stop trying to lose, and focus just on maintaining. And up until this week he'd been ok overall. It's just out of control. I'll talk to him tonight and we'll see...I think he can do both. But he has to believe it to, and if he's giving up there's nothing I can do about it. Wish there was...

[LindsB]

I guess the best thing you can do is be a supportive wife (which you are obviously already doing) and tell him that you believe he can do it if he really puts his mind to it!

I know my hubby loves to hear that I believe in him when he is trying to do something he is unsure about....

I hope everything works out for him and that he continues on a path to better health.

[MindiV]

He just called me....bought a pack to smoke and hates it. Looking into other options to help him quit. He's thinking about maybe using those electronic cigarettes as a crutch to stop the patch...no tar, etc., but still a little nicotine for those "have to have a cigarette" times like 1st thing in the morning or after meals, when he's been prone to binging.....

[LindsB]

I wondered about those electronic things. I hear about them on the radio all the time! THat would be so great if it could help him!

[Wild Vulpix]

EDIT: Whoops! Maybe I should read the whole thread before posting next time! How embarrassing!

Original post: Mindi, has he ever considered electronic cigarettes? I'm not a smoker or even an ex-smoker, but I do know some people who have happily used electronic cigarettes to help them quit. Although I'm obviously inexperienced with them, I can see how handling a substitution cigarette could be comforting in stressful situations for someone who is trying to quit.

[kateleestar]

Not really on subject, but ...how do you feel? Do you smoke? Maybe make him see that smoking is affecting your health, because second hand smoke is bad too?

When I was dating my husband, before we were even engaged, I flat out told him that I would never live with a smoker, even if he always took it outside. No way, no how. It took him 6ish weeks, but he did it, without assistance. I think him thinking about how I saw it helped, how I didn't want children picking up the habbit... And he's better for it. (His dad smokes, even after a battle with cancer and his doc telling him to stop.. sigh.)

Also, I cant believe his doctor said that! Lung cancer killed a lot of my family, specifically from smoking, and... that is... shocking! Wow. WOW!

I wish you luck.

[MindiV]

I know...I can't BELIEVE the doctor said that!!!

Right now still researching the e-cigarettes as well as "E-Z Quit" cigarettes, that contain no nicotine at all.

[thewronggirl]

Has he tried Chantix?