So, its happened twice this week. My boyfriend had a few friends over and they all wanted to drink. Now, I don't know if this makes a difference, but I live in Germany - which is a huge fan of beer, wine, and champagne. They are also a huge fan of getting together with their friends and drinking for hours and hours (even the older people do this every weekend).
After having a wonderful day, doing splendid with my calories, his friends dropped by. I don't know them so well. They started pouring me drinks - I calculate I had a 1/2 bottle of champagne (250 Calories) and then they ordered some food, which I only had a few bites of, but which I calculate as still being around 500 calories! My wonderful 1300 calorie day suddenly turned into an 1885 calorie day.
The thing is, I don't even really like alcohol. It only has bad consequences for me: I sleep worse, I wake up late, groggy and un-fresh, I feel the need to eat a bit more the next day, while I'm drinking its easier to say yes to a few bites of chips or a cigarette (even tho I've quit smoking and think they are repulsive...) Alcohol makes me into this person that I don't want to be, has SO many empty calories, etc.
I could have just sat there and sipped on a low-cal hot choco or cup of tea and saved myself from all of this. Why didn't I?
I would really like to hear some suggestions or ideas about saying no, even if it means you will be the outsider. Thanks.
Oh I feel for you. I guess it's way harder when you don't know it's going to happen and it's completely unplanned. I like to have a few drinks, but only if I've planned for them, which often means saying no at times when I haven't planned.
In situations like this, if I'm at home, I always try to make sure I have a low/zero calorie alternative for me to drink that I'll still enjoy. Even if I don't, I'll still have water or something else to drink so I'm not sitting around empty handed. I'll also just say no thank you to any drink poured for me - of course I'll be really gracious, but I'll just say I don't feel like it.
I also live in a country where most social get togethers are centered around alcohol and I know it can be hard. It's just about being true to yourself and sticking to your plans. And if you do have a few drinks - well it's not the end of the world and as hard as it is sometimes to get back to normal the next day, I just try to do it.
I'm sorry if I didn't give the best advice but I can definitely sympathize with you.
Seltzer + a splash (up to 4 oz.) of juice has been my lifeline. It is bubbly and yummy. You can put a wedge of lime on the edge of your glass and it looks like a "real" drink. And for some reason, they always feel like a "treat" to me.
They only run about 40 calories or so (depending on the juice). I have 1 or 2 a day. Almost always one in the evening when I used to have a drink in the evening.
The longer I go sipping on my seltzer drink, the easier it gets to turn down the alcohol. I do allow myself a drink or two once a week. Practice... practice saying no to alcohol and it gets easier.
Just say NO! It might be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets, and the more people will accept and expect your self-control, and pressure you less. You can just say you're watching your weight or your drinking; don't make a big deal out of it, just politely decline. And stay positive - don't get angry with them or even with the situation - you are strong and in control of your own eating, and it's certainly possible to pass up an offer for food or drink without becoming angry, offensive, upset, etc.
And I like SCraver's idea - make yourself a healthy and fun alternative so you don't dwell on the thought that you aren't "part of the crowd". I guarantee that you are the only one who is worried about being an "outsider" as you put it... you're only an outsider if you make yourself think that you are.
Good luck!
Last edited by cornellchick; 10-14-2010 at 01:16 PM.
Thanks for the support. I'm so glad others understand how hard it is to stay on plan the whole day just to blow it at the end out of 'peer pressure.' I still feel peer pressure strongly at 28
My boyfriend just brushed it off. He wants me to be "normal" and drink tons of beer and eat pizza and such with the rest of them. I tried that in the beginning, it backfired on me terribly. I gained 20 lbs SO fast. He doesn't understand weight loss - he thinks it just 'happens' to people if they exercise sometimes and "don't eat too much".
I'm definitely into doing some mock cocktails with lemon. I have also decided to be prepared for alcohol: to drink only on special occasions in a planned way. I think when you count calories, and I eat between 13-1500 in the moment, it actually hurts to spend more than 150 on alcohol - namely because it does these crazy things to your blood sugar and liver that make you WANT and need more.
btw I like what cornellchick said about the fact that I could be making myself the outsider, that no one cares. Totally true. I have been trying to make my way into his tight friend circle (they've known each other since highschool, there is about 20 of them, including ex's eeeee), but its really difficult. Suddenly, for the first time in many many years, I feel uncool. But... maybe I am adding to it. ok - thats another thread for another day.
My boyfriend just brushed it off. He wants me to be "normal" and drink tons of beer and eat pizza and such with the rest of them.
I would be tempted to explain it to him in a very simple way. He can have a "normal" drinking & pizza eating girlfriend, or he can have a smoking hot healthy and happy girlfriend that the rest of his friends will envy him for being with.
Isn't it funny how boys think the hottest girls eat pizza and french fries and drink beer like a man (while amazingly, somehow, maintaining a Cindy Crawford body).
Alcohol blues
