100 lb. Club - Are you really losing it or it's just photoshopped photos?




kotty
10-13-2010, 06:15 PM
I know the title might sound rude to many of you but i am starting to convince myself that this is the truth.

Losing weight is the biggest challenge in my life and i am not sure how you guys do it. I read it many times here: Watch what you eat and exercise.

I can watch what i eat until 6 pm every day, but after being exhausted with my work and the kids i feel that i need to reward myself with food. It's the only thing that could make me feel satisfied, ofcourse for few minutes then i start disguising myself and just lay down on the couch so tired.

I just noticed that everytime my daughter tells me to go to the club or play with her i tell her i can't i am so tired. So selfish, i know but i can't help it. Everytime i go out i just wear almost the same outfit and wear my sunglasses hoping that nobody will recognize me and see how i became.

I am not sure why i am writing all this to people i never met or knew before, but i somehow feel may be you have been there before.


mandalinn82
10-13-2010, 06:26 PM
You need new rewards and new habits. I can personally attest that my photos are not photoshopped - they're real.

We all get tired. We all have rough days. But you can make changes in your habits so that those things no longer involve food-based rewards. I guarantee you that food is not the only thing that can make you feel satisfied. I, for one, have replaced that "fix" with exercise. Now food does pretty much nothing for me, but exercise gives me a high like food used to.

It's just changing habits. And you CAN do it.

cherrypie
10-13-2010, 06:49 PM
editing photos to look thin is really hard. It would probably take less time to lose the weight than to learn how to do that :p


xty
10-13-2010, 06:55 PM
kotty - While I sympathize with your feelings of frustration, slow results, etc......you need to completely overhaul your *thinking* if you are going to be successful with weight loss and happy about it :)

Your plan isnt working. I dont know why or what the details are of your plan, but you dont seem satisfied on quality or amount of food you are eating.

Eating as a reward after 6pm WILL keep you entrenched in hardcore struggle. Now, you may be able to lose more weight that way, but you will be unhappy and you will be mentally tired from the battle.

Food can be a reward. I do rarely use it that way. But it can NOT be your main or only reward system. find a new system of rewards.

And most importantly - I urge you not to think of this as a competition or as a single win/lose plan you have to stick to. After losing 100+lbs, my only real truth is that I dont have a single final answer. I have tried *everything*, and a couple things work currently. When they stop working, Ill adapt to a new way.

Maybe for some it is as easy as "working out and exercising". Not for me. And that it took a million tries and a million different adaptations, experiments, new types of eating, new workout regimes, emotional work, therapeutic discussion, stress reduction, healers, vitamins, and god knows what else to get me to this moment in this day where I am 129lbs!

However - when strangers ask how I did it....I say diet and exercise...because no one really wants to hear that there isnt a simple answer and its become my life's work to be healthy.

QuilterInVA
10-13-2010, 07:22 PM
First of all, I don't know how to use photoshop. That was rude.

You need to find ways to reward yourself without using food. Exercise gives you more energy and makes you sleep better. You need to set a good example for your children and being too tired to do things with them and spending the time after 6 pm isn't doing it.

Losing weight isn't easy for anyone but once you set your mind to it and make it your priority, you can do it. Do you not think those people on the Biggest Loser have felt helpless to lose weight? They are thrust into exercise and find they can do things the never thought they could do. They learn to make choices and the weight comes off because they have made it a priority and are willing to do whatever is required of them to reach their goal.

dudesmom
10-13-2010, 07:46 PM
I understand where you're coming from somewhat since I was around the same weight you are or higher when I was working and had a young child.

I worked full time at a job where I walked a lot during the day and generally did some sort of physical work on most days. Once I was done with my shift, I would come home tired and depending on the day, emotionally drained too. I would usually have enough time to find out from my husband the last time my son had eaten, napped and had a diaper change, and then my husband would walk out the door for work, leaving me alone and exhausted with a young child (less than 2 years old). I was so tired and had no energy that I would just start shoveling food in myself until I went to bed at night.

Usually, my husband would come home from work at 11pm with all kinds of crappy foods like pizza, cheesy italian beef, fried something or other, and some sort of calorie laden beverage. I would eat ridiculous amounts of this stuff and then try to sleep so I could get up at 6 for work the next day to start the cycle all over again. I thought that I would never lose weight, because I was always hungry and always exhausted. I didn't know what to do.

One day I happened upon a different weight loss website. I started to just cut out pop and eat somewhat smaller portions and a little less candy every day, and i lost a little bit of weight. I added in short walks around the neighborhood (at a toddler's pace and distance) and started to feel a little less tired. Then I started really exercising and the difference in energy was just amazing. I felt awesome!!!

With putting so much effort into exercising, my eating changed even more (though I still treated myself, i wouldn't eat a whole bag of oreos or candy anymore) and it really helped. Unfortunately, I got pregnant and morning sickness and hormonal tiredness killed exercise for me, so I gained weight again, and went back to old habits after the baby was born.

Now I'm finally at this again, and since I've had a few bad days, I can tell you that all the crap that I have been eating is making me feel awful! I am EXHAUSTED lately, more tired than I have been even after days when I've run for 45 minutes and done 30 minute shred and watched my two young sons all day. I promise you that what you eat really does have an effect on how you feel.

Maybe start with baby steps, like less treats and more exercise, even if it's only 10 minutes at first. Your daughter may be just as happy with a short walk as she would be playing with you or going to the club because you're doing something together.

You can do this, though it's not easy. If it was easy, there wouldn't be an obesity epidemic! But you do need to change your mindset a little, because if you think it's impossible for you to lose weight, it will be. I hope you get some suggestions that will help you out so that you can be successful on this journey.

rachael
10-13-2010, 08:36 PM
It would require a special kind od crazy to put that much effort into faking before and after shots for a bunch of strangers. Especially since this is a public forum where real life people could stumble upon it and bust you at any time. I know it is frustrating not to lose, but it won't help you at all to indulge paranoid thoughts like that.

AZ Sunrises
10-13-2010, 08:45 PM
Yup. They're all photoshopped. Nothing to see here. Move along. :)

matt_H
10-13-2010, 08:54 PM
Yep, I'm busted. I've been photoshopping ;) [well no, I haven't...don't know the program]

You have to change your mindset. You have to want this more than you have ever wanted anything else. You have to see this isn't about denial or restriction, it is about gaining your life back and being healthy and happy.

You are in a routine that needs to change. Food cannot be an automatic thing that you go to at the end of each day. You have to find other ways of dealing with stress.

The good news is you have the power to change your life. It is within you and totally under your control. You have to build positive and healthy routines that will replace the unhealthy and destructive ones.

I won't say good luck. Luck doesn't have anything to do with it. It is whether you will do it or not. We are here to help you, so keep posting and asking questions. You will find what works for you and you will be successful.

Keep telling yourself that you will do it and it will happen.

Justwant2Bhealthy
10-13-2010, 09:02 PM
Yes, YOU CAN HELP IT ... and you can do anything you make your mind up to do if you really want to. You just have to do it! You can eat better. You can make better choices. You can play with your DD. You can exercise. You can go for a walk (after dark, if needs be). You can choose a healthy, small snack each evening (like cheese & a piece of fruit). Yes, you can even lose weight ...

Oh -- and YES, YOU CAN start to live again ... :hug:

luckymommy
10-13-2010, 09:11 PM
Hello there,

You got some really wonderful advice here. I just wanted to suggest a tiny little thing. How about planning your treats? Sometimes, it is nice to know that you have something very yummy waiting for you at the end of the day. I know I get like that sometimes. Eventually, you might wanna try to kick that habit, but for now, how about having a planned treat? I love the Healthy Choice chocolate ice cream bars at Costco for 100 calories. I know that I can have one and if I really want and my calories are still ok, I'll have two.

I know this is about much more than that, but sometimes, a little step like that works. I also know that if I leave my kitchen area, then I can do something else....like organize my closet or paint my nails or whatever it may be. I also chew gum like crazy if I'm having a maddening obsession with food. Yeah, sometimes I give in and inhale all the food in the house but every time I do, I find that I can resolve to not do it for a bit longer and then the weight starts to come off again. It's a slow process but rather than just focusing on the very end goal, try to set little goals along the way....they don't have to be weight related. They can be a walk. Avoiding a soda and having water. Using whole wheat instead of white....you get the idea.

You've already lost a good deal of weight so I think you know what you're doing.

Finally, regarding your comment....I can see how some took offense to it, but I sort of took it like an exasperated comment of frustration. I don't think you really think that people here are phony or you wouldn't be seeking the help.

Hope you find your way. Until I took control of my eating, I wasn't living...just existing. I think lots of us here have plenty of valid reasons why we gained weight but that doesn't change the fact that losing it is so much better than dwelling on the negative and continuing with the vicious cycle. :hug:

krampus
10-13-2010, 09:32 PM
Definitely lost it for real.

It's hard to lose weight, but it's not that hard, as many of us are proof of. Start small and don't try to sacrifice everything you like all at once. For some, a simple "No desserts during the week" or "No snacks between meals" or "No fried food" is enough to jumpstart loss. Watching the number on the scale go down is pretty darn satisfying and from there it becomes easier to add in things like exercise (doesn't have to be marathon sprints or deadlifting 200 lbs - even going for walks 5 days a week is much better than nothing!) and vegetables.

Food is good, but it's not good enough to sacrifice your quality time with your kids and happiness in life.

saef
10-13-2010, 09:51 PM
Oh, if you only knew how rudimentary my computer skills are. (Which is actually really funny, considering my job is with the largest IT consulting firm in the world.) Yeah, I actually lost the weight. In fact, I've done it twice, the first time over a decade ago. This time I'm aiming to keep it off.

Fear really helped. And avoidance of pain. I did not like one bit what the doctor was telling me about my chances of becoming diabetic. I did not want to be on yet another medication, or pricking my finger & testing droplets of my blood. Not if it could be prevented through my making a big change.

You have to want this more than you want to stay in your current comfortable routine. You have to be willing to face great discomfort. Because once you get through that discomfort, the rewards on the other side are simply awesome.

Have you ever seen a movie in which a drug addict squirms & sweats through withdrawal? It's gonna be like that sometimes, if food has been like your opiate to get you through the night or to relax after a hard day.

Sometimes the only way to get through it is to just get through it, whatever way you can.

kaplods
10-14-2010, 06:08 AM
I know what it feels like to feel weight loss is impossible. I've been obese since age 5 and morbidly obese at least since puberty (with a short brush with an almost normal weight in highschool courtesy of prescription amphetemine diet pills).

Even now, I can't believe that I've been on a six-year downward trend with not a single relapse. That is with no gains of more than 10 lbs (I still gain eight pounds every month with TOM).

On one hand I'm impressed as **** that I've lost 85 lbs and that I haven't had a significant gain, and on the other hand, six years to lose 85 lbs is pretty unimpressive when you judge it by normal standards. It's barely a quarter pound per week (on average).

The first 20 I wasn't trying for (and I had never lost weight accidentally before), and was probably a side effect of being treated for sleep apnea. The pulmonologist told me that I'd likely lose some weight without trying (and quite frankly, I thought he was nuts). Losing the 20 made me think I could lose more, but for two years I tried with little lasting success (I lost and gained the same ten pounds for two years). So only the last three years were weight loss under my own steam (courtesy of deciding I needed to restrict carbs in order to lose weight).

Even the 65 lbs in 3 years, is still less than a half pound a week.

But if you look at each of those 3 years, my loss rate has been faster each year (but still far below the rate at which I used to give up in the past because the slow weight loss was proof that I'd never be able to make it).

I've rejoined TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) because I find more motivation with the weekly weigh-ins and the contests and such. I lose more steadily when I'm in a group, even though I don't always admit it. I tend to quit the groups when I think I can do it on my own - and then my motivation fizzles, because there's no deadlines or pressure ot meet them (because TOPS also has competitions between groups, if I don't lose weight I'm in some degree letting my team down).

One of the biggest differences "this time" (meaning the last six years) is that I decided that no matter what I wouldn't let myself be ok with gaining weight. My first job wasn't losing, it was not gaining. When I saw "not gains" as something to celebrate, it became easier not to give up when losses weren't impressive or existent. Even when I gained, the first job was still not gaining more. I told myself over and over "I may not always be able to lose weight, but I can keep from gaining."

I still don't look at my goal weight - it's still weigh too far away (even the intermediary goal weight of 250 lbs that I've given myself).

If global change doesn't seem doable, find a change you are confident in your ability to make. When I started, I decided that I wouldn't make any change that I could see myself doing forever, even if it didn't result in weight loss. Even during the two years when it didn't result in weight loss, it did result in health improvements. Because my goal wasn't pinned on weight loss, lack of weight loss didn't unmotivate me, like it would have in the past.

I still usually see weight loss as nearly impossible. I'm endlessly astonished that I've come this far (I've never lost more than 70 lbs before), and don't sincerely believe that I can acheive a healthy weight. Even looking 10 lbs ahead is daunting. I'm not sure that I can lose 150 lbs or even 10, but I am confident in my ability to maintain my 85 lb loss, and to lose "just one more."

I only ever have to lose "just one more." Weight loss is the fabled "journey of a thousand miles," beginning with a single step.

I think I never lost weight permanently in the past because I always focused on the miles left to go, and not on the steps.

Eliana
10-14-2010, 09:02 AM
I know what you mean about the photoshopping because I always wonder about that with any advertised product. In fact, I don't wonder...I'm convinced they're either photoshopped or they're pictures of two different people.

But here? No. We're all about as real as we can get. Many women have posted pictures of monthly and/or 10 pound progress photos. Those are amazing! And it's obvious they're all the same person! And what a transformation!

Instead of thinking we're all photoshopped, my goodness, use those pictures as motivations! Don't just dismiss them as fake! Use them to convince yourself that what we have you can have too! There is no reason you can't be just as successful as each and every member on this board! And the beauty of it is that we're all in different places along this same road. Some of us are long time maintainers, some of us are brand new at it, some of us are brand new for the tenth time, some of us are nearly to goal. We all have advice and tried and true methods.

I know you're tired. I know it feels like you can't. But if you can get some exercise under your belt, release some feel-good endorphins, eventually you will not be so tired. I was exhausted for a good three months. Lowering my calories wiped me out. Taking a vitamin helped tremendously as did adding exercise.

Cookc04
10-14-2010, 09:13 AM
Well I've not submitted any photos yet, cause I've barely lost anything. But I am taking photos every friday- I can see every week a subtle difference. IF I don't see the change I try harder to stay on plan the next week.

Try it yourself. You will see it happen. You can do it.

Iron Turtle
10-14-2010, 09:32 AM
There is some great advice in this thread. Find a reward that isn't food based and try to get some sort of physical activity in, however small.

I wanted to post because I'm brand new around here and I haven't done any sort of meaningful exercise in years. Yesterday, my first day to count calories, I took a walk. It wasn't an especially long walk, only about 15 minutes, but I kept my pace pretty quick and by the time I was halfway through my legs were starting to burn a bit, and by the time I was done I had broken a pretty good sweat. You know what I did when I got home after that walk? Well, first I asked myself why the heck I hadn't changed into something that would chaff less than blue jeans. After that, I did some housework. I felt so good, my body felt so awake and full of energy and I had this positive attitude, I just had to do other things. Dishes, laundry, yard work. And this was all after I had already spent most of the day at school.

It can be tough, especially starting out, but small changes can make a huge difference and exercise is a godsend.

~Iron Turtle

Slim CB
10-14-2010, 09:40 AM
I am sorry but this comment made me upset. Do you know how hard these members have worked to lose weight and you come here and ask if their photos are photoshopped???? Check your attitude! That's downright rude!!

Glory87
10-14-2010, 10:21 AM
I figured it was more of a "wow, I can't believe you guys did it" than an actual accusation that every member of 3fatchicks photoshopped weight loss.

Tackle the problem you have - eating too much at night. You have a habit, you have to break that habit, which will be unpleasant. First, plan a healthy dinner. Spend the money, buy the groceries, so you won't want that food/money to go to waste.

You can also make something in advance that only has to be heated. On a Sunday afternoon while you have a little more energy, make a big healthy pot of soup or a low fat veg lasagna. Then, portion it into the right size serving. When you get home and you're tired, heat up the right sized portion and boom - done.

Now the tricky part. Declare the kitchen closed. Brush, floss, rinse your teeth. If your habit is to sit on the couch, don't do that. Organize a closet, take a bath, take your daughter to the park, call your mom.

Your habits are like a groove in a record. You must lift the needle and make a new groove.

Only you can do this. Once I embraced that I was the only one responsible for my weight, it actually freed and empowered me. I could do it. I am doing it. I will keep doing it. Just me, and that's okay.

calluna
10-14-2010, 10:28 AM
Yes! It was photoshop! And I am so darned good with photoshop that my coworkers and family can see it without the computer. :D

:hug: You've certainly gotten some reactions from people...and you've gotten good advice...so stick around and let us help/watch you progress with your own program.

SCraver
10-14-2010, 10:34 AM
I am sorry but this comment made me upset. Do you know how hard these members have worked to lose weight and you come here and ask if their photos are photoshopped???? Check your attitude! That's downright rude!!

I don't think the OP really meant it as a rude accusation, but rather as a way to illustrate her feelings of hopelessness. She feels that signifigant weight loss is impossible. When looking at pictures of all the amazing accomplishments that people have made, it makes it look like it was easy (even though it wasn't!) and she is having a hard time figuring out how they did it.

(somebody, please correct me if I am wrong, but that is how I took it)

SCraver
10-14-2010, 10:42 AM
I know the title might sound rude to many of you but i am starting to convince myself that this is the truth.

Losing weight is the biggest challenge in my life and i am not sure how you guys do it. I read it many times here: Watch what you eat and exercise.

I can watch what i eat until 6 pm every day, but after being exhausted with my work and the kids i feel that i need to reward myself with food. It's the only thing that could make me feel satisfied, ofcourse for few minutes then i start disguising myself and just lay down on the couch so tired.

I just noticed that everytime my daughter tells me to go to the club or play with her i tell her i can't i am so tired. So selfish, i know but i can't help it. Everytime i go out i just wear almost the same outfit and wear my sunglasses hoping that nobody will recognize me and see how i became.

I am not sure why i am writing all this to people i never met or knew before, but i somehow feel may be you have been there before.

My son will be two in January. He has been a pretty easy little boy. He has a HUGE personality and is a great sleeper. But, darn, it is still hard to be a mom!! I was doing the same thing you were doing - I would get home from work and have to rush around getting Logan fed and changed and ready for bed. Then I had to figure out what to feed to myself and hubby. I would just start snacking and not stop. Or I would make us mac 'n' cheese (two boxes - one for each of us) which has NO nutritional value, but it so yummy and comforting and filling.

FOR ME, getting started was about taking little baby steps. Commit to one small change and when that is easy, make the next small change. My first change was banning mac 'n' cheese.

Don't think about everything at once, focus on one thing at a time. Focus on one small eating change or one small exercise change. And I hate to say it, but exercising REALLY will give you more energy.

Evenings are hard for me, too. And my battle still continues. I find sipping hot tea in the evenings to be very comforting. Planning a specific snack at a specific time. I ask hubby to rub my shoulders a lot (poor hubby!) I am thinking about painting my nails tonight. I do a lot of craft projects. Sometimes I find cleaning out a drawer or container or shelf to be very therapeutic. Tuesday nights, I take a Zumba class with a bunch of friends. That is my evening away and I get to chit chat with some of my girls.

What is one small change that you can commit to right now?

susiemartin
10-14-2010, 10:54 AM
I don't think your comment is rude - I understand where you're coming from :hug:

One of the reasons you could be so tired is because of eating too many carbs & sugary stuff. Ditch the carbs & sugar and you may feel better. :)

My advice to you is just try 1 evening of no food.

In the morning let us know if you have any regrets.
I'll bet you won't have regrets and can count that day as DAY 1 On Plan.
Then repeat the day and do it again. Keep coming back and posting.

You CAN DO IT!!!
Good Luck

Ky30
10-14-2010, 11:17 AM
It helps me to plan out my food EVERYDAY and eat on the same shecdule everyday so if Im hungry before dinner and its 4pm I KNOW I can wait dinner will be at 5pm. Also with excerise find what you love to do you dont have to do sit ups, jumping jacks, etc. go for a walk with your little boy 3 to 5 times a week maybe ride a bike etc. this is what I do and I dont even consider it excerising its time spent with my babies or time by myself I enjoy it.

MadameZombie
10-14-2010, 11:29 AM
I haven't posted any pictures but I'm a graphic designer... So, I can make photoshop do some pretty wonderful things to a body. But the women here? They all fought, blood, sweat and tears, into their new rocking bods.

I sympathize with you, I work a full time job and by the time I get back from work I am SO tired that I just want to lay down and veg out in front of the tv. I can not imagine my life + kids. Hopefully you'll find some helpful information here.

matt_H
10-14-2010, 11:38 AM
But the women here? They all fought, blood, sweat and tears, into their new rocking bods.


Hey now, don't be so discriminatory! ;)

Rosinante
10-14-2010, 11:55 AM
I totally understand whire u're coming from, OP! There have been many times in my life where others flash down past me in a way that makes me wonder if someone's slipping lard in my tea.

imho though, "watching what I eat" is too vague. I need a calorie and a carb budget, and logging software that makes clear how much I've consumed, and how good the nutritional content was. It can be a real wake up call to realize how some perfectly "healthy" options are so carb or cal laden that you'll never lose weight eating them. Invest some time in one of the free ones - it'll pay dividends!

Lyn2007
10-14-2010, 12:01 PM
No photoshopping here :)

I am coming up on 100 pounds gone very soon and will post new pictures then too. It is real. It takes time, it is hard sometimes, but it is worth it. It is possible for you, too! :)

totsandfries
10-14-2010, 12:38 PM
I honestly understand your exasperation, I struggled with it for awhile before I finally got committed to losing weight. But I promise almost all of the people on here are genuine about their weight-loss, and have worked their butts off to lose weight, and all of us have different ways that we have achieved our weight loss.
For me: I watched my calorie intake, and I picked up running SLOWLY. I started with "running" for 10 seconds and am now training for a 10k.
Try to stay positive,
and good luck

Creeech
10-14-2010, 01:06 PM
Hey now, don't be so discriminatory! ;)

Awww Matt! :hug:

MadameZombie
10-14-2010, 01:51 PM
Hey now, don't be so discriminatory! ;)

:dizzy:

Whoops! MEN and Women. :D

kotty
10-14-2010, 07:39 PM
I have read each and every comment you guys posted hear, and i couldn't believe the feedback and support i got here in such a short time.
Thank you everyone, and sorry to anyone who got offended by the title but as i said this is not about you it's about what i was trying to convince myself.

I can feel from your words how strong and confident you guys are or became, i hope someday i will come here and provide some positive feedback to a poor person who is just feeling weak and helpless over here.

I am going to try, the least i can do is try again. One day at a time, no judgment.

About exercise, what would you recommend for a person who was staying home for 9 years (i am working from home) with no breath to climb up one floor stairs or carry a baby no longer than 5 min.
Should i walk? should i lose some weight first then start walking? and after that may be do some cardio at the gym.

About the food, i am obsessed with food. So i am not sure which plan is right for me. I used Atkins before and lost weight but then all the weight came back to me doubled.

I thought about watching my calories, or even start SouthBeach diet, not sure.

What do you think is better in terms of motivation and health?

I have to really thank you all for the motivation i got here and hope you wouldn't mind coming every now and then asking for feedback and support.

Cookc04
10-14-2010, 08:19 PM
Walk, or walk in water/ pool is a good start.

Personally I am not on a diet it's a lifestyle change - I am making informed decisions about what I put into my mouth.
I track calories - and make sure what is going in is less than what is being spent. That's basically the key to weightloss.
To control my hunger and cravings I choose low GI foods over high GI foods. This isn't that hard to do and it means less cravings and thus more considered food intake.
But for me this is what works, I know that if a did a diet, once I stopped I wouldn't know what I could eat to maintain that weight.

ubergirl
10-14-2010, 09:41 PM
kotty--

I really understood what you are saying. I clearly remember the first time I visited 3FC. I kept looking at the before and after pictures wondering where the "trick" was. I thought maybe all of the people had had weight loss surgery or were messing with their pictures or something. I was really suspicious. But it turns out it's true!

Regarding exercise. I was so out of shape that I used to get tired just standing in the yard waiting for my dog to pee. I got out of breath walking up hills and stairs-- I used to always think I was having a heart attack.

I started with swimming laps in a pool, but walking is just as good. The beginning is hard, but you will me AMAZED at how quick you get in shape. It's even faster and more exciting than the weight loss, and you will have so much more energy.

Good luck!

kaplods
10-14-2010, 11:19 PM
I have some ideas, but they may not be right for you. I get kind of excited about the things that have worked for me, so it can sound a little pushy - and I don't mean it that way at all. Try what sounds good to you, and ignore the rest.

Personally, I think we put too much emphasis on "choosing the right plan." It's important to seek a plan that you can incorporate into your lifestyle not only during weight loss, but after it as well, but the idea that you have to start and finish on the same plan is an overexageration.

I've lost my weight on at least a half dozen plans (far more if you consider ever minor "tweak" I've made to those plans). My only consistent plan is to find a way of eating that I enjoy, that results in weight loss, and on which I feel healthiest and most energetic. I'm still trying to find that plan.

The books/resources that have influenced me greatly are Atkins, South Beach, Neanderthin, Volumetrics, The End of Overeating, Refuse to Regain, The Low-Carb Bible, Dangerous Grains, Life without Bread, Good Calories Bad Calories, The Zone, Primal Blueprint, The Duke Diet, The Diabetic Exchange diet......

Not at all saying you have to read all those books to have success. I'm saying it doesn't matter where you start, or even if you stick with the plan you started with. What is important (in my opinion) is to experiment and keep a food journal documenting your food and even your physical and emotional feelings. It can help you see patterns. For example, my food journal showed me that I felt lousy when I ate a lot of carbs. The fewer carbs I ate the better I felt. So I went super low-carb (even lower than I wanted to go permanently) and then added carbs back in one at a time, and discovered that sugar and wheat are the worst carbs for me to eat. I don't know if you can call it a legitimate "allergy," but I certainly have some strange and alarming symptoms when I include wheat and/or sugar. That lead me to more books on low-carb and anti-grain ideas.

I'm not saying you need to go low-carb. I'm saying you can find out what you feel best on by experimenting -- just give each experiment at least a few months (unless you hate it or have a reason to see that it isn't working for you on some level).

As to exercise, don't think of it as exercise yet. Think of it as playing - finding fun and enjoyable ways to move. Start with what you can do. Even if it's sitting in a chair and "dancing" in the chair by tapping your feet and waving your hands to music (I was so immobile that's pretty much what I started with. I could only walk 5 minutes without getting winded, so I kept trying to "beat" my previous record - even if that meant 6 minutes).

I still can't do alot, but my goal is to wear a pedometer every day, and write down the step total (I love that my pedometer counts steps). My goal each day is to "beat" yesterday's record. I keep forgetting to write down my steps, but even so it sure seems that I walk more when I have the pedometer on, even if I don't record the results.

I find water exercise AWESOME (especially warm water exercise). I have fibro and arthritis so cold water is excrutiating. Some indoor pools are kept really warm (I once belonged to a YMCA that kept their pool almost asw warm as bath water, it seemed. I was young and into lap swimming so I didn't appreciate it until I herniated a disc). To find official warm water therapy pool programs (you may need a doctor's referral) you can call your local Arthritis Foundation or United Way. When I started at my local warm water program I could only tread water - so that's what I did.

Even just starting with stretches, yoga, tai chi.... Start anywhere and if possible look for things you think you'll enjoy (or that you'll enjoy when you build up a little endurance).

I've restarted walking dogs for the humane society. They don't require a minimum of time spent with the dogs, so if I can only walk them for five minutes, it's five minutes that dog wouldn't have been out of his cage if I weren't there (I've volunteered before, and I fell out of the habit after a bad experience with a too-strong dog - if it's something you're interested in make sure that you don't take on a dog that is too much for you to walk. This time around, I'm asking for dogs under 30 lbs).

I can't say enough good things about TOPS too (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly - it's a non-profit weight loss group). I was stupid and dropped my TOPS membership about a year ago because I decided I was at a point I could do it on my own. And I could maintain on my own, but I lose better when I'm part of a group. I like TOPS because you can follow any WOE (way of eating) that you like, it's far cheaper than Weight Watcher's, and I find the fun and silly contests motivating. It's not for everyone, but on the other hand it only takes four people to start a TOPS chapter, so if you don't like your local chapter you can create one if you find three other people who share your vision of what a weight loss group should be.

Also don't underestimate your ability to help others now, not just "someday." In five minutes, you may have just the right words for someone else. It's amazing how much giving advice can help you learn to take it. Sometimes I think that my "don't throw yourself into the canyon" advice didn't truly start to sink home for me until I started sharing it. Just because you're still having trouble following your own advice doesn't mean it's bad advice. Sharing it can help you really incorporate the wisdom into your life. There's some saying about teaching something being the best way to learn it, and I never really understood that until I started teaching (not weight loss, but the principle still applies).

As for food obsessions, you have two ways to go. Working on overcoming the obsession, or channeling it into a passion for low-calorie, healthy food (I'm choosing the latter). For example, I've replaced my passion for ethnic restaurants with a passion for ethnic markets and healthy food I find there (especially exotic fruits and vegetables). I still enjoy going to an ethnic restaurant occasionally, but I can't do that every week, but I can try a new fruit or vegetable or other low-calorie food item whenever I feel like it.

If none of this speaks to you, keep reading, because there are so many wonderful ideas flying around this place. Don't hesitate to use the search tab (in the blue bar at the top of the page), searching on the key words of your topic of interest. I can't tell you how much I learned from old posts.

I love the Shoestring meals threads (saving money while dieting). Hubby and I are on disability, so we're on a fixed income, and a somewhat tight budget.

I know I've thrown a lot at you, and I don't mean you need to absorb it all (or any of it), I just want you to know how much is here. You don't have to take it all in, and it doesn't really matter where you start as long as you start. Focus on your successes, not your failures. That's the hardest part. When you feel stupid for making a mistake, look at all the things you did right. Sure you want to learn from mistakes, but you don't want to focus on them so intently that you don't see the successes.

duckyyellowfeet
10-15-2010, 01:22 AM
i got the subtext of your title. I can change some lighting, maybe switch to b&w, but photoshop is beyond me. I can, however, make a kick butt Power Point Presentation :)

I think you need to really sit down and consider your own lifestyle. I like Weight Watchers, which is pretty much just calorie control by another name. A lot of people swear by South Beach or Atkins. You have to pick something you feel will work best for you. I suggest you read different threads around the forums and get a feel for each plan.

And then plan. Buy the foods that fit into your plan. Find recipes you're excited about. Throw out the junk. Start journaling, every day, every meal, every bite. Drink some more water. Make those smaller changes and figure out what works for you and your life.

Walking is always an option. Spend some time in a pool. Start doing some stretching at night.

rockinrobin
10-15-2010, 06:30 AM
I have read each and every comment you guys posted hear, and i couldn't believe the feedback and support i got here in such a short time.
Thank you everyone, and sorry to anyone who got offended by the title but as i said this is not about you it's about what i was trying to convince myself.

I can feel from your words how strong and confident you guys are or became, i hope someday i will come here and provide some positive feedback to a poor person who is just feeling weak and helpless over here.

I am going to try, the least i can do is try again. One day at a time, no judgment.

About exercise, what would you recommend for a person who was staying home for 9 years (i am working from home) with no breath to climb up one floor stairs or carry a baby no longer than 5 min.
Should i walk? should i lose some weight first then start walking? and after that may be do some cardio at the gym.

About the food, i am obsessed with food. So i am not sure which plan is right for me. I used Atkins before and lost weight but then all the weight came back to me doubled.

I thought about watching my calories, or even start SouthBeach diet, not sure.

What do you think is better in terms of motivation and health?

I have to really thank you all for the motivation i got here and hope you wouldn't mind coming every now and then asking for feedback and support.

A few things -

First of all, we are ALL capable of losing weight. Each and every one of us. Every one and each. Yourself included. It's not this crazy hare-brained, cockamamie scheme. Because I for many years was under the belief that it was possible, but just not for me. That was nonsense. Nonsense. We've all got the ability.

But you have to want it. You have to want it so badly that it hurts. And it sounds to me, that you are hurting. I too was mopey, lethargic, sluggish and sleepy. I was miserable. I was afraid for my life. I was certain that I was going to die from complications of my obesity. And while I was still alive, I was barely living. Passing up on so much. I dreaded everything. Every event had added worries and anxieties due to my weight. There was very little joy in my life. Everything had the added burden of the weight.

So the desire to be thin and fit has to be STRONG.

You've got to decide to do this. Decided to do this, commit to do this and be WILLING to do what's necessary to make it happen, to get it done.

The hardest part is starting. And those initial weeks as you fight the urges; as you work on losing the bad habits and establishing the new ones. There WILL be some uncomfortable moments, but they are temporary. They pass. And you get through them knowing that there is a wonderful outcome. You give up a little - you get back SO much. Immeasurable amounts.

You've got to push through those uncomfortable moments, till you establish those new habits, find new foods to love, the wants for the other stuff dies down and the unbelievable rewards begin to surface. From that point on, it's relatively easy. Yup. It is. Really.

What plan to follow. I found for me, the stricter I was, the better. The more things I banned and made definite NO'S, the easier it was. I didn't have to think about those foods any more. They were off limits. No way to derail my *diet*. And upon going cold turkey with them, after that detox period - my cravings for them immensely went away. I'm talking about the sugar and floury stuff.

Wait, I'm going to look for an old post about my plan....


I knew the only way this weight loss thing would *work*, permanently that is, would be if I could find something that I could stick with LONGTERM, forever in fact, because not only do I want to lose the weight, but I want to keep it off - forever. It simply won't *work* if you dont' stick with it. Consistiency, consistiency, consistiency. STICKING with it is of course the key. Lifestyle change. Creating a new normal. No going back to the old ways. Permanent, sustainable lifetime changes.

We talk lots about being able to stick with something, but I think another very important factor is finding/developing something that one is WILLING to stick with. Because at some point one has to be WILLING to change their routine and adhere to a sensible plan.

Things I needed/still need to be on my plan:

- I could never, ever be hungry. Just not for me. I despise that feeling and need to AVOID it all costs. It would only set me up for failure.
- I need LOTS of food, volume that is.
- I love food, always will and need to get enjoyment from it. So eating delicious, very tasty, satisfying foods was a MUST.
- I am terrible with portion control. I have no boundaries. My intuitive eating button is totally broken or just missing completely. So I need to fake it. I need something that forces me to set limits - lo and behold that's how calorie counting comes into play.

So therefore, let's see if I can do this with one breath - I eat frequently, every 2 hours or so, choosing low calorie/high volume items (veggies), lots of protein and fiber (to keep me full longer), I count calories (forced portion control/accountability), I eat foods with high nutritional values, I've found foods that I LOVE, not *diet* foods per se, food that any one and every one can eat.

I also set myself up for success. By ridding my home of the junk (very crucial in the beginning, and still is). I got rid of the sugar, the rice, pasta, bread, cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc... Sure I love the stuff, but I have no control with it. I figured I can not have it both ways. I simply can not have those foods in my life (very strict with it especially in the beginning, cold turkey in fact) and be that healthy, fit person I so longed to be. I have no control over them and realized I was just better off without them.

I keep my home fully stocked with tons and tons of veggies. I discovered fabulous ways to prepare them and now enjoy them more then the other garbage I was eating prior. Amazing how ones tastes change when you stop feeding it junk. Fruits and low fat proteins are my other main foods. I cook fabulous meals that my whole family enjoys. So finding yummy recipes that you like is essential. No reason to go off plan, when on plan is so good.

I also prepare ahead, as it is the ONLY way to succeed, IMO. Eating healthy does not happen by accident. Therefore it MUST, MUST be planned out in advance. I know what I'm having for my meals and snacks days in advance. I pack food with me, taking it with me wherever I go, leaving nothing to chance. It's just THAT important.

I drink lots of water. It's something to do with my mouth; a delaying tactic and it keeps my tummy full. I also drink hot tea and 20 calorie hot chocolate.

And of course, there is the calorie counting. Would be nowhere without it. Nowhere. Since I don't know how to set limits for myself, counting calories is my answer. Counting and tracking my calories keeps me honest and keeps my food in check. It is built in accountability and forced portion control.

Exercise has now become part of my life and is a big part of "my plan". I started out slowly and built up. Cardio & strength training. I make sure there is some kind of daily movement going on, 7 days a week.

Probably the biggest part of my plan though, was making a commitment. Deciding once and for all that I was going to "do this". I told myself enough is enough. I realized, once and for all that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be. That it was something that I did indeed have total and complete control over. No reason on earth for me to waste another second of my life being miserable, worrying about my health and not living up to my full potential. Not being the very best ME that I could be. So I made a commitment to good eating and good health.

As far as exercise, I highly recommend the LEslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds DVD's and a resistance band for strength training.

I want to also say that adhering to a healthy lifestyle is not this awful, uncomfortable miserable thing. For me, the uncomfortable, miserable, awful thing is remaining obese or overweight.

Eating well it turns out is a delight and a joy. It's opened up a whole new world to me. It's a key to freedom that's opened up more doors for me than you can possibly imagine, ones' I didn't even realized were closed.

Don't dread these changes. Get excited about them. Become passionate about being well and getting fit. This journey is a thrilling time. So much fun. It's an incredible time of self discovery and growth.

Once you get into, you too will wonder what you were so afraid of and why you didn't do it earlier.

Eliana
10-15-2010, 08:23 AM
The beginning is hard, but you will me AMAZED at how quick you get in shape. It's even faster and more exciting than the weight loss, and you will have so much more energy.


I love this! It is so true for so many of us! All along I have found exercise goals to be far more rewarding and always within my reach. It feels so good to start seeing yourself capable of doing more and more and the body responds very quickly. Our bodies really like exercise. It IS possible to be fit and fat while working your way down.

Yes, walking is a great start. I recommend recording what you do, whether mentally or on paper. Focus on increasing your time spent and the mileage you get into the time. Focus on walking say a mile in 20 minutes and then set your site on working that down to a mile in 19 minutes but when that 19 minutes has passed, keep walking to increase the distance.

There is no NEED to join a gym. There are lots of things you can do at home. I'm quite partial to an exercise ball and hand weights, 5 lb, 8 lb and 10 lb. There are so many things I can recommend with just that minimal equipment.

caryesings
10-15-2010, 08:41 AM
And here's a quite silly sounding one if you're as out of shape as I was. Holding your arms over your head. Can be worked in to many, many activities (especially if only doing one arm at a time) throughout your day in the privacy of your house. Incredibly hard to do for any length of time at first but something you can get better at every day when everything else seems too overwhelming.

For me, I really had to gain these small victories to keep going when my goals seemed so far away.

Iron Turtle
10-15-2010, 11:27 AM
As far as what eating plan is best, Southbeach or counting calories or whatever else, it depends on what you will stick with. Any diet plan out there will provide you with results, so you just have to find the one that is right for you.

If you can walk, I certainly recommend you do so. While I think manipulating your diet will bring about the most results with regards to weight loss, exercise is going to speed it up, strengthen your heart, and make you feel much better overall. Do whatever you can, just get moving. If you can only walk for 10 minutes, walk 10 minutes. Tomorrow, try to walk for 10 minutes and 10 seconds. Then a bit farther the next day. You want to just do a little bit better than you did the day before. Those small improvements snowball pretty quickly.

~Iron Turtle

kotty
10-16-2010, 05:17 PM
Thank you guys so much...I feel MUCH better after reading your comments. It will be a long journey but I feel that 3FC like is really helpful... you can learn so much and there is always someone to answer a question

What was the trigger that made you start strong?

Onederchic
10-16-2010, 05:26 PM
My photos are real.

kaplods
10-16-2010, 06:04 PM
What was the trigger that made you start strong?


I didn't start strong, I started very weak. About fifteen years ago I encountered the fat acceptance movement and the theory that dieting for the vast majority of people only resulted in weight gain. Boy did I relate! I was put on my first diet when I was in kindergarten (5 years old), and for the next 30 years I was on a diet more often than I was off, and with each diet I only got fatter and fatter, and more and more food obsessed.

The fat acceptance dogma of the time reccomended intuitive eating of healthy foods and participating in an active lifestyle (the idea that it was ok for fat women to be active in public was also a bit of a novel idea to me. The magazine BBW featured stories of women my size (about 300 lbs at the time) swimming, horseback riding, bicycling, dancing, kayaking... and not being ashamed to do so.

Eventually I tried that advice and found that "intuitive eating" did allow me to stop gaining weight (I didn't lose any, but I stopped the endless gaining). I was terrified to start dieting again, because in my experience I'd never had a weight loss attempt that didn't ultimately end with me at a higher weight than when I started.

I vowed I would never diet again. Then I herniated a disk and had to lose weight to avoid surgery. I avoided the surgery and then regained the weight and then some. I vowed again to never diet again.

Only with the accidental weight loss after being prescribed a cpap for sleep apnea did I realize that possibly weight loss was possible, but that I'd have to choose a very different path than I had ever tried before.

It took me two years after that to start succeeding on a low-carb diet. For the next couple years (until very recently) I succeeded despite myself - despite not feeling it could work - despite not sticking to plan as closely as I ever had in the past - despite fearing every day that I would gain it back - despite feeling that weight loss this slow couldn't really be considered progress.....

I only truly started to realize this is possible after I hit the 71 lb loss mark (more weight than I had ever lost in previous attempts - even with prescription amphetemines in my early teens). At the 71 lb mark it was also the longest time I had ever gone without a significant baclksliding gain (my record before that had been maybe three years at my highest weight during my vowing-not-to-diet phase).

I cringe when I hear people say that you need to be 100% committed to lose weight, or that you have to believe that you can, because I don't think either is true. Don't get me wrong, it's hard to make much progress when you aren't confident and committed to your success, but you don't have to be 100% ready to get started - you just have to get started. It is possible to build confidence and strength as you succeed.

It is a different kind of weight loss though to do it "backwards." Unlike the common pattern (starting strong) you may not see your quickest weight loss in the beginning. If you start weak, you will have to build on your success and be willing to work harder and harder as the tasks become more challenging. Your initial weight loss might be slow or even non-existant (and you have to decide whether and how much more effort you're willing to put into it).

By starting weak, my progress was initially nonexistent, then barely noticeable to the present stage of still pitiful, but I'm hoping to eventually reach not-half-bad.

I think we're taught that only rapid, impressive weight loss is acceptable. Anything less is worth less than not losing the weight at all. I don't think I could sell a weight loss book entitled "How I went from very super morbidly obese to only super morbidly obese in only six years." No one would publish it, because the readers wants the fast track. I've seen celebs shredded apart in the media and vlogger's shredded apart for weight loss progress that wasn't instantaneous. If it's not three pounds or more a week, a person is accused of not trying.

I'm starting to get on my own personal soapbox, so I'll stand down. I just want to emphasize that you don't need confidence or strength to start, you just need to start. Start small, start big, it doesn't matter just start, and don't be afraid to step back if you find that you've started bigger than you can handle. Stepping back is fine, stepping off isn't. It's better to make slow progress than to make no progress.

TamiL
10-17-2010, 07:29 AM
LOL Photoshopped!!! Come on if we were going to go through the trouble of doing that.......wouldn't we also do some enhancement of our features as well? Maybe add a cup size, round out the booty and plump the lips some, lol

ValRock
10-17-2010, 07:42 AM
Shoot... if I was going to photoshop my pictures I'd do a much better job of it ;). There's some thunder in my thighs and a plentitude of junk in my trunk. Mind smudging it out for me?

I think the most important thing to remember is that you're setting yourself up in a vicious cycle. Trust me, you don't want to be there! You eat because you're exhausted and stressed but you're exhausted and stressed because you're not giving your body the proper fuel!

I cannot tell you how much better I feel eating cleanly at 169 lbs than I did at 257 lbs eating junk all day. Yes, I still have days that knock me on my ***... but there's no reason to stay there! You have to find somewhere else to put that frustration. Get rid of the foods that trigger you. Remove yourself from the situation if you have to but don't get trapped in the eat/feelcrappy/eat cycle! It's really not worth it.

Once you realize how much better you feel when you're not fueling your body with garbage it all becomes easier. At this point I have zero desire to eat a candy bar or take a bit of my friend's cake at lunch. I know I'll be paying for it later feeling like crap both mentally and physically. Get yourself there and don't look back!!!!

Best of luck.

Trazey34
10-17-2010, 01:52 PM
ha, that's an awesome observation! I'm always very sceptical as well -- mostly because I had an acquaintance who posted (on a board very similar to this one!!) pics of herself NOW, and as the weeks went by, she posted pics of herself from BEFORE if you know what i mean? In reverse! And was so casual about "oh it's been so easy dropping 75 pounds, i don't know why you all are having so much trouble" and people would ask for advice, etc. WOW. CRAZY PERSON. I don't know exactly what she got out of it, but when I called her on it, she cut me out of her life entirely - won't even say hi to me if we run into each other!

RobinD
10-17-2010, 02:48 PM
Wow, Trazey - that is a special kind of mental. What on earth would make someone do such a thing? I mean, we all use the best of the available photos, and with digital it's easy to take a ton and chuck all but that one that's acceptable to you, but... wow. Just... wow.

19Deltawifey
10-17-2010, 03:50 PM
I do believe most people on here have lost weight and they look amazing in their after pics but I am skeptical of those maintainers who post about their weight loss but yet you never see any pics of them. The maintainers who post before and after pics of themselves I definitely believe them and what they say but their are a few maintainers who I have never seen a pic of, of course its ok to be private but if your contributing so much to 3fc website I think you should at least show your pic to let everyone know that you are legit when you say you have lost the weight. Anyone can come on here and say I have lost x amount of pounds and give tons of advice so for me no I don't think all people who claim to have lost weight on here actually has. It reminds me of that lady who said her vlc diet worked and posted before and after pics (the after pic was not her) but yet she is still morbidly obese in real life but then she preaches to others about how she lost the weight and stuff. I can't list the name of that diet plan but she is a great example of someone lying about losing the weight, and thankfully she has been exposed.

Onederchic
10-17-2010, 04:00 PM
I do believe most people on here have lost weight and they look amazing in their after pics but I am skeptical of those maintainers who post about their weight loss but yet you never see any pics of them. The maintainers who post before and after pics of themselves I definitely believe them and what they say but their are a few maintainers who I have never seen a pic of, of course its ok to be private but if your contributing so much to 3fc website I think you should at least show your pic to let everyone know that you are legit when you say you have lost the weight. Anyone can come on here and say I have lost x amount of pounds and give tons of advice so for me no I don't think all people who claim to have lost weight on here actually has. It reminds me of that lady who said her vlc diet worked and posted before and after pics (the after pic was not her) but yet she is still morbidly obese in real life but then she preaches to others about how she lost the weight and stuff. I can't list the name of that diet plan but she is a great example of someone lying about losing the weight, and thankfully she has been exposed.

I agree. When someone is preaching about how they lost weight over and over but I've yet to see a pic, I start doubting their word. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe but the internet is a place where a person can be anyone they want and I am proof of that since I lied to my bf for 5 years about what I looked like so yeah, I am skeptical, sorry.

Onederchic
10-17-2010, 04:01 PM
Also wanted to say I know the VLC plan you speak of though the name evades me but yeah, that chic was psycho :o

rockinrobin
10-17-2010, 04:07 PM
I do believe most people on here have lost weight and they look amazing in their after pics but I am skeptical of those maintainers who post about their weight loss but yet you never see any pics of them. The maintainers who post before and after pics of themselves I definitely believe them and what they say but their are a few maintainers who I have never seen a pic of, of course its ok to be private but if your contributing so much to 3fc website I think you should at least show your pic to let everyone know that you are legit when you say you have lost the weight. .

I agree. When someone is preaching about how they lost weight over and over but I've yet to see a pic, I start doubting their word. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe but the internet is a place where a person can be anyone they want and I am proof of that since I lied to my bf for 5 years about what I looked like so yeah, I am skeptical, sorry.

Keep typing up an answer and deleting it. The right words are escaping me.

Edited to Add:

I actually had my pics up here for quite some time. It was a lot of work to keep up with it. I don't feel the need to *prove* myself. I think my words speak volumes. Any one is more than welcome to ignore my words, or any one elses' here for that matter. There's an ignore option, for that very reason. I don't choose to take someone's advice based on their picture, I take someones advice based on the intelligence of the advice.

Onederchic
10-17-2010, 04:14 PM
Well, I don't see either of us mentioned any names so for you to take it as a personal attack has me confused. I think on more than one occasion I have expressed my gratitude for your advice and support so if that doesn't mean something, I don't know what would. If you took it to mean I was directing my comments to you, I am sorry cause I wasn't.

rockinrobin
10-17-2010, 04:26 PM
No need to apologize Onederchic.

Onederchic
10-17-2010, 04:31 PM
I just wanted you to know that I wasn't meaning you. You have helped me more than you probably will even know with your advice, esp the veggie volumetrics which has been a total life saver for someone like me that likes to eat a lot of food but still needs to watch calorie intake.

evilwomaniamshe
10-17-2010, 04:37 PM
Ahem, who me????? ....... WTH, I too am not one to post pictures of myself in cyberspace. But so be it, opinions are like @ssholes, everyone has one! :) Think what you want to think, believe what you choose to believe, I honestly don't give a rats @ss if anybody doubts I'm maintaining my weight being I have no proof of before or after photos. Am I getting a complex over this? HECK NO! Just sayin... in my case, that's an untrue story! No hard feelings on this end, just stating I am the real deal, FYI, I am a private person and prefer not to be exposed and have my pictures up as I have seen far too many pictures get stolen and used in inappropriate ways on other sites and being I own 2 businesses, that would not be great for my business! 'Nuff said! ~Wendalyn

Onederchic
10-17-2010, 04:49 PM
As for my response, I didn't have any specific people in mind so uhh yeah, not you. I would delete my comment since it seems people are taking it personal but it would still be in Robin's quoted post. I apologize now to any and everyone who seems to think I was directing my response to them.

Meg
10-17-2010, 04:54 PM
I had more than a dozen before and after photos posted here for quite a few years. And then I started getting creepy PMs from people who I didn't know, commenting about my photos. And I started to get wiser to the ways of the Internet. It's not the same place as it was when I first joined 3FC thirteen years ago and frankly, I don't feel comfortable having any personal information posted publicly any longer. I'm not even on Facebook.

There probably are about three dozen members of 3FC who have met me in person over the years -- including all three sisters who started the site -- who can vouch for my weight loss and maintenance. Some have even seen the scars from my skin removal surgery. Even so, apparently my lack of before and after photos means I don't have the credibility to post about maintenance, in some people's eyes. :dunno:

midwife
10-17-2010, 05:09 PM
3FC is an extremely public forum. I know of at least one member who had her pictures swiped from 3FC and used to promote a weight loss product.

Privacy is becoming even more elusive these days. This is an anonymous forum. Yes, anyone can post anything on the internet. Well, anyone can post someone else's pictures and claim them as their own too. That hardly establishes the veracity of their weight loss journeys.

19Deltawifey
10-17-2010, 05:10 PM
If you don't want to post pics then fine, no big deal I was just saying how I felt. I'm allowed to say how I feel, and I stand by what I said. I didn't say any names because it's really not that big of a deal. Lack of pictures does make me question if a person really lost weight, the internet is not full of honest people and lack of proof makes me question others credibility.

ETA-I definitely understand privacy concerns and I respect that.

rockinrobin
10-17-2010, 05:20 PM
If you don't want to post pics then fine, no big deal I was just saying how I felt. I'm allowed to say how I feel, and I stand by what I said. I didn't say any names because it's really not that big of a deal. Lack of pictures does make me question if a person really lost weight, the internet is not full of honest people and lack of proof makes me question others credibility.

Just curious, is it only the maintainers that you doubt? What about the oodles and oodles of people here who are in the process of losing weight? The ones who *claim* they've lost 10 lbs, 50 lbs, 14 lbs or whatever pounds. What about their credibility? What is it about the maintainers that make you pinpoint them???

And what about the tickers? The ones that aren't updated? The ones that you think people have lost the weight recently, but it wasn't recent. It was ages ago. They haven't lost anything in a while, in fact they may have even gained some back. There is no way to know.

junebug41
10-17-2010, 05:30 PM
3FC is an extremely public forum. I know of at least one member who had her pictures swiped from 3FC and used to promote a weight loss product.

Privacy is becoming even more elusive these days. This is an anonymous forum. Yes, anyone can post anything on the internet. Well, anyone can post someone else's pictures and claim them as their own too. That hardly establishes the veracity of their weight loss journeys.

:yes:

I really don't think it's worth constructing theories over who may or may not be faking a weightloss story. This is the internet and I chose long ago to take things at face value and move on with my life. The overall point is that this place is chock full of really good advice from people with a myriad of experiences. Frankly, the authenticity of everyone else doesn't have much to do with my goals and reason for being here. And I do totally understand the issue of privacy. We are not all open books and I contemplate removing my pics all the time. Although I must say, from members that I've met and my experience with them OFF of 3FC, I'd say we're mostly an honest bunch here and leave it at that :)

midwife
10-17-2010, 05:34 PM
Putting on my mod hat:

Let's be careful here, folks, before we start debating things like tickers, rate of loss, regain, pictures, no pictures, etc. 3FC's strength lies in support, and the last thing I would wish is for anyone to start doubting what and how they post and wondering if anyone is judging her (or him!).

Support, first and foremost please.