Chicks in Control - Binge Free Challenge 10/10/2010 - 17/10/2010

Welcome to the binge-free challenge!! You can come in here and post your weekly successes and struggles and keep track of your binge-free days. You can also vent about anything and everything you feel like getting out. We are here to share our feelings and to encourage and inspire each other. No negativity! We are strong chicks and I KNOW we all can do this!! And we don't have to do it alone, we have each other to get us through the rough times.

ALL chicks are welcome -- no one is excluded! If you are trying to lose weight, not trying, maintaining, recovering from an eating disorder, in the midst of one, or have ANY kind of problem with food, we would love to have you join us!!
__________________________________________________ _________

It will never cease to amaze me that a couple hundred "bad" calories results in a scale gain... oh well, it was a delicious cake last night and i enjoyed every bite... earning another day...yes... today is DAY 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Monday ! Lets bring it!!!!

Count me in!! I binged this weekend and I am just so tired of going through the same thing. Binge.... feel sick.... get frustrated....get on track... lose weight...... temptation gets the best of me.... binge... etc... It's like it's a never ending cycle and now fear has set in and I am afraid if I don't get a handle on it now I am going to end up with some health issues as a result.

So focusing on whole foods for the most part at leat 95-97% of my food intake. I AM GOING TO BEAT THE BINGE DEMON!

Today is Day 1 :carrot:

I'm going to take advantage of this new thread and say it's a perfect forum for my new beginning (I joined in in the middle of the last one and couldn't survive it).

so, I'm earning day 2, having a staring match with the bucket of Halloween Candy that just has to sit on my desk... I'm feeling good, though.

Good luck, K-Boogie!!! You can do it!

Everyone can do it :)

DAY 13!

I've noticed that my problem is that I schedule meals too late in the day for me.

I need 1/2 of my lunch at 10am, the other 1/2 at 2pm, then some of dinner by 6pm.

If I wait till noon for lunch, I'm starving and will binge on whatever is closest.
If I wait till 7pm for dinner, same thing!

Last week was a lot better!
Cheers!

I'm mid-way through day 153! Thanks for all your encouragement re: baked goods in the last thread.

Day 64 today...

I had one of those "woe is me, why am I afflicted with this issue" days yesterday (spent too much time at parties surrounded by people wolfing down junk food and guzzling booze), such a bummer. But I have now been totally on plan for over 63 days, so I don't know why I felt so glum. I feel better today, noty being faced with all the food celebrations!

Day 245! :D

Paris, thanks for the congrats, and right back atcha! :cheers:

Good luck, everyone! :goodluck:

Tyla :dust:

I'm on day 0. Tomorrow is going to be my day 1 with no binging. I recognize that the worst time of the day for me is right after I get home from work. I binge like no other. It's the only time of the day that I really do that... But I WILL STOP! DAY 1! woohoo!

K-boogie- that is just how I feel also, I hate it.

Day 7- Went good today, craved sweets, I had some but not too much. Total control! I really think i'm over that bad binging I used to do(5000 cal). I avoid eating too much now cause I don't want to feel sick like that, it's horrible to wake up in the middle of the night w/ night sweats. If I do overeat, I won't go over 4000 cal. total for the day anymore because that's when I get sick, i now stop when I feel full. Sometimes I'm just so fed up with dealing with this, I wish I would have never started binging. It's addictive. The past 2 mo. I learned alot about myself & food, I just don't want to feel sick anymore. That's my goal too!

Okie doke.. so here I am. I've been following you ladies here for some time, wanting to join in but for some reason, just.. not. Anyway, I'd really really like to be a part of this challenge. I don't need to dwell on the food part, but suffice it to say it's gotten pretty bad. I'm sure that you guys understand what I'm going through.

The most amazing part of this is that I had never binged before in my whole life until THE DAY that I reached goal. I don't think I've ever posted that before, but it's true. I had never binged, ever, before June 12, 2010. Anyway, I've been struggling with it big time for the past few months since. I'm trying to lose a few more pounds and I'm currently a few pounds above my goal so I need to start losing now (as opposed to gaining! :mad: )

Anyway, bottom line is I want to be positive and think of the future instead of dwelling on the past. I feel like I just need to unlearn some bad habits. So here I go, I hope you ladies don't mind me posting when I feel like I'm about to do something I'll regret, too. Hopefully I won't have to do that too much!! :)

Congrats on all of your hard work everyone! I know with some re-dedication I can succeed as much as you awesome ladies have!

So tomorrow is DAY 1

Starting day 154, and feeling pretty good, which is nice for a change!

Tyla, nice job on getting so inspirationally high! I'm so glad you're sticking around!

Jkinboston and Julibean--good luck starting it up, remember, the beginning is always harder!

Fruitlady-congrats on day 7!

My Michelle--I can totally relate--why do we have to deal with this problem when others don't! It's just not fair, and it shouldn't be this way (and this often feels like a pretty strong justification to binge--we just have to hold on!) congrats on day 64!

Good Morning All.

I full on binged yesterday. :yes: I sure did. It was like this wierd out of body experience. I take full responsibility. It was a pretty stressful weekend. My mom ended up in the ER. Things are better than the state of panic that they were. I'm ok. I know a very big part of this journey are the tests that you are put through. It's not how far you fall off the horse, it's about how fast you get back on.

I just wanted to put it out there. I feel all of you standing beside me. I am back on track today. Today is my Day 1. :)

Day 1 again. I feel so sick and awful from last night's binge. I just want to hide away and not talk to anyone today... *sigh*. I want to stay positive but my goodness it's hard! I don't even really believe I'm going to make it through today, even though I keep telling myself that today has to be day 1.

Congrats to everyone out there who is going strong. Good luck to everyone just starting out like me!

Day 246! :)

Paris, thanks for the compliment. I love it that you're here with 3 digits, too! :cheers:

Vixsin, sorry about your mom and the full-blown binge. I'm sort of saddened by it. Glad you got right back on the horse. :cheer3:

JKinBoston, I posted a huge paragraph of how I could relate to you and your situation, and the stupid computer lost it all. Glad you're with us! :welcome2:

K-Boogie, congrats on recognizing that it's time to stop this vicious cycle. Take my hand and we'll do it together.

Good luck to all! :goodluck:

Tyla :dust:

Aww thank you tyla, I appreciate it and it's the thought that counts, after all! lol ;)

Thanks paris, and you're right, the first few days really are the toughest part for me!

Yoyo and Vixsin, you guys are very brave to come here and "confess," hope you both had a good day 1!


Day 1 went well for me. I'm done with the food portion of the day so the kitchen is CLOSED lol. Thanks for being here for me. Day 1 went better than I expected. Now onto day 2, after which I get my little "gumball machine" prize of a new nail polish. Hey, it's good to start small and build up the rewards, right?

Well, great job everyone! I feel very much inspired by everyone here! :)

JK, congrats on day 1!! Sometimes day 1 is the hardest--to actually get yourself to stop doing what you've been doing. Now you can build momentum. And, great idea about the reward!! You deserve it, because now you are beginning a new, healthy lifestyle.

And if you get tempted to start overeating or even stray from your plan, ask yourself why? What's happening to want to make you want to stop this new beautiful, healthy way of eating. You'll see it's really all about emotions... we're trying just to feel better when something bothers us. Find another way to feel better. Start thinking of what you will be doing to feel better when you are stressed, lonely, bored, frustrated, upset, feel disrespected, and the list goes on. (I usually get on the treadmill or elliptical, believe it or not. Exercise helps me feel so much better. Or, I get out of the house and go shopping. Or I come here.) Think of something that you like to do. Sometimes music with a good dancing beat or your favorite songs help, too.

I know you will be so much happier now that you're back to eating normally. :hug:

Tyla :dust:

i guess people are struggling this week... me included... i am dying to binge right now... alone, hungry, tired, (ok, not really hungry), still sick... super short on patience today... urg...i want to ride that horse on saturday so i will not binge now...

i am so glad we can all come here and vent... day 1 or not...

lets try to get through another day... for us... for ourselves... we deserve it!

Happy, please stay strong. It's not worth it. The horse ride sounds like fun. I can't wait to hear all about it. Take pictures, too. What an awesome experience! How long is the ride going to be? In the mountains or on a trail? Wow, I want to come.LOL I'll be thinking of you on Saturday.

Tyla :dust:

Day 8, ate alot of candy today, stopped when I was full though. I did have control, but I'm sure I'll gain weight.

crawling back to 3 fat chicks, would you believe i weighed 185kg in july.. and here i sit at 226....

would love to join the binge challenges , i now am one week binge free and back on track. why do we do it to ourselves?

Thank you so much tyla, you've given me a lot to think about. It's true, I do feel better in the short term. Logically, I should be able to reason that short term happiness, in this case, won't lead to long term happiness. Why is it so hard to think it through in the moment? It's incredible. It would be nice to gain the ability to just stop and THINK it through. That's what I'm going to be working on. :)

happy: You've done such an amazing job. I really hope it all worked out last night. Something I try to remember is that people never regret NOT eating something they shouldn't. They only regret it if they DID eat something they shouldn't have.

fruitlady: Control is SUCH an important factor. It's one thing to consciously decide to go over allotted calories, but what a difference in feeling a binge is!

icedragon: It's never too late!! As long as you keep trying, you'll never fail! :) Congrats for coming back.


Well, I'll be working on day 2 today. I was starving last night (this usually happens after I've eaten too much in the days prior) so I allowed myself to go over by about 150 calories. I TOTALLY did not binge. I'm going to have a lower calorie day today to sort of "calorie cycle," but I'm super excited because "being over calories already" is a HUGE trigger for me. HUGE. It makes me feel like I've already failed. I know a lot of people have some issues with this, but for me, it's if I'm even 5 calories over. I sometimes think I need to train myself to be ok with seeing a number over my planned calories, like go 5 or 10 over everyday to desensitize myself. Again, logically it makes no sense to eat 1,000 extra calories just because I'm over by 10, why haven't I been able to reason that IN THE MOMENT all of these months?? Anyway, I'm proud of myself last night :)
Wish me luck and LOGIC on Day 2!

We can ALL do this!

Day 2. Mom is better. Scale dropped a bit so I am happy about that. Still reeling from the weekend but doing ok.

Thank you for the kind words. I want to feel strong but it's hard to keep my head up right now. I'm kind of in the "fake it til I make it" stage I think. I am still really reeling. I'm not beating myself up about binging by any means and I completely understand the WHYS of it all. I guess I'm in some sort of disbelief feeling. I don't know. Like I said....reeling. :)

At this point, it most important to me to get some 100% on plan days strung together. I'm still feeling like I am floundering or teetering on the edge if you will so I am wanting to get some good days under my belt so I feel more of a leg to stand on.

Starting 155!

Ok, day 1 AGAIN... but for realsies this time!

I'm feeling very inspired by all of your wonderful ladies today. :) :) I really like what you said, Tyla, about asking yourself why and then finding another way to feel better.

thanks ladies... i did make it through... i did have two small desserts today at the conference. i felt okay about that though... i realised that the lunch was gross so i opted to pull the chicken off the buttered-bun with cheese and guacamole dressing! i put the chicken on a bed of salad greens and enjoyed that !

i am feeling very "narrow" these days ! (profile is looking pretty darn good!) even if i am tired and cranky ! ha ha ha

i see there are a few ladies still struggling today... i hope you conquered your demons today... i did and i know you can too... just tell that chatterbox in your head to SHUT UP!!!

hugs to everybody!!!!

here's to day 61... yup... more than 2 months now!!!

i cannot wait to ride that horse - it is at a farm of a friend... i am terrified of horses, don't know why... but i am... going to push myself out of my comfort zone and yes, there will be many pictures!!!! :D

sorry, i am feeling sappy... just wanted to say how much i love you ladies... i might not know your faces but i know you struggles...and i love you for it!!!

Yoyono, thanks for getting and liking what I keep suggesting. Asking questions and doing other things besides eating to make mysel feel good has really helped me stay strong and determined. The best of luck to you! :hug:

Day 247!:D

Tyla :dust:

Vixsin: I TOTALLY know what you mean about getting some on plan days under your belt. The longer you go, the more in control and "normal" you start to feel again :)

Great job Paris and Tyla! :carrot: You guys rock!!

Good luck on day 1 Yoyo!!! You CAN do it! It's worth it!

Happy: Congrats on sticking with it last night and making it through! Awesome job!! You must be so proud of yourself! I really want to go horseback riding, too. Maybe I'll make that a reward of mine down the line!


I made it through Day 2 very nicely. I had a lower calorie day today and I'm feeling gooood! So that means I get my first reward. Haha it seems so silly to be excited about a new nail polish lol, but it's nice to have an instant, direct reward for my work! :)

jkinboston89- Thank you, I read you first post here and it really reminded me of myself. I never binged in my life, til I hit my goal weight. When I hit my goal that was it, I then felt safe to eat what I wanted, it just turned into an addiction I've been trying kick for 15 mo. now. Since I discovered that control was the most important thing for me, it's been alot better.


I'm on day 9- after so much sugar yesterday and a 2.5lb gain, I wasn't even hungry. I forced myself to eat today, what a difference a day makes!

earning day 63 and feeling pretty good about it! I am sooo close to riding that horse for the first time! Woo hooo Sat!!!

not much more to say than that today... try to be good to yourselves today :)

156!!

Hey Everyone,
I really need to make sure I come in here and post and check up on you guys I think support especially when it comes to binging issues are very important.
It's day 4 for me and feeling pretty good about it, I realize I have to take it one minute at a time. Looking too far ahead as far as weightloss/eating overwhelmes me.

Question???? for fruitlady and jkinboston89 Something you both said that I found interesting you both said that you didn't start binging until you reached goal. Why do you think that is?


why do we do it to ourselves?


I noticed with me once I get close to the 100's and got there once (197) I binged and that's why I am where I am now. I think one of the reasons for me is I use to abuse extreme measures of low carb (0 carbs) and started using it as an emergency kit. I knew that after a binge I could eat just protein for a week and lose all of the water weight gained and more (once losing 17 lbs in a week and 5 lbs the next) so it became an eating disorder of some sort.

I would get in this zone with binging and it didn't have to be for a specific reason but once I got in that zone during that moment I didn't care what it was doing to me b/c I knew I had a secret weapon (extreme low carb) BUT here's the kicker when I was unable to go that route b/c the temptation was strong and hard to resist after binging for weeks it would lead to frustration b/c I wasn't able to use my "no carb detox" to undo the damage and that would lead to further binging.

Every now and then I am very tempted to go my extreme route especially if there is a family function coming up but so far so good. I know that it is not healthy and I can only imagine the damage I was doing to myself.

I have a banquet to go to Saturday and for a minute my mind went there but I am committed to living a healthy lifestyle and for 4 days now I have been doing that. I have to admit it's really scary!!

Day 248! :D

JK, thank you! And congrats to you for being in control again. I love to wear nail polish. Great reward!! What color are you choosing today? Best of luck to you to keep it going! I know you will!

k-boogie, could the family functions be giving you some sort of stress? What happens when you are with them? Does the preparation of the food cause stress? Do they watch or make comments? I told you I ask myself questions.LOL That's my thing.LOL I try to get to the root of why I would want to start straying and come up with the answer and solution. Just call me the "question" chick.LOL

Tyla :dust:

k-boogie, could the family functions be giving you some sort of stress? What happens when you are with them? Does the preparation of the food cause stress? Do they watch or make comments? I told you I ask myself questions.LOL That's my thing.LOL I try to get to the root of why I would want to start straying and come up with the answer and solution. Just call me the "question" chick.LOL

Tyla :dust:

Mainly competion when I first started losing the weight evryone was in awe!! A few rolled their eyes in envy so I feel this pressure now. It's not just family functions it's at work too everyday someone was congratulating me on my weightloss so when I binge and gain I get this overwhelming sense of pressure to get it off before I see my family again or before I gain too much and people at work start talking.

If others at work start losing weight especially the ones who came to me for advice if I see them "passing me" sort to speak I get frustrated and feel like a failure b/c how can I be the "motivator" and now I'm slipping and that person is doing better then me?

I just dont want to be that person who lost alot of weight in front of everyone and end up gaining it all back and looking like a failure. So usually right before a family gathering (parties, dinner etc...) I will go 0 carb especially if I have been binging and have gained weightt since the last time they saw me.

At work is more stressful b/c I see these people everyday so if the weight creeps back on I really want to get it off!

I never thought of myself as having an eating disorder and would always wonder how can anyone allowed themselves to have one but I slowly realized that yes I do have an eating disorder. Just because I don't binge/purge or starve myself, what I have done is definitely a form of one and sometimes it's a real struggle and sometimes I'm okay like right now.

Once I stopped focusing on the weightloss aspect of it and more on the health part it is becoming easier BUT I will admit that when I found out that none of my family members other then my mother , my hubby and kids will be at the banquet on Saturday other then a few distant relatives who haven't seen me in years I felt more relax about what I'm doing there was no urgency b/c I was gearing myself to do 0 carb for 2 weeks b/c I thought alot more of my local relatives one of which I heard lost ALOT of weight (mind you this is one of them who never acknowledge my wtloss and have ALWAYS competed with me growing up) lately she has been trying to invite to her house and to go out I'm guessing to see the "new" her and I've been coming up with escuses b/c I was bigger then the last time I saw her.

So there you have it a very looooong confession so sorry it it so long but once I start confessing so much comes out. Thanks for reading! :)

Day 67, and I just reached the 50lbs lost mark. Yay! Very happy!

Woohooo Day 3!! I love reading everyone's self-analyses. So much to think about! So much of what you guys have said, I can relate to!

First of all, congrats happy, paris, and my michelle (WOW, you're in the home stretch now!) Keep it up!

Tyla: Thank you soo much! I got a nice purpley color! I made a little event out of it, having hubby help me pick it out. It was nice seeing my fingernails all day, being reminded of how it got there :) Keep your hard work up!

Fruitlady: It feels nice to be able to commiserate with someone who's had a similar experience. I remember when I reached goal and I asked on the maintainers forum about advice regarding the raising of my calories, you warned me about binging and I really wish I could go back and read your response 10Xs over!

In regards to your question K-boogie, before I lost weight, I had never had any sort of disordered eating in the past. I mean I ate portions that were too large for my body's health, but I had never, ever had the thought of stuffing myself until I couldn't breathe on a bunch of stuff I didn't want. What I mean is, before I decided to lose weight, I had times where maybe I would eat even when I wasn't hungry, but it was because something looked tasty. And maybe I had times where I felt stuffed and I ate too much, but it was because I wanted that food.

During weight loss, I was extremely consistent, and I do have a sort of obsessive tendency. I never missed one work out (I worked out 1 hr/day no matter what) and I never went over 1200 calories. I think that's where the whole, "I need to be perfectly on plan or bust" mentality came from a bit, although I just naturally am like that.

The day I hit goal, it started out perfectly. I didn't plan to overeat at all. I did everything I would normally do. However that night I had saved some room for 2 drinks out later that night. When hubby came home from work we went out for drinks (I had just turned 21 the week before :)) Anyway, I had calorie room for two drinks and with maybe 35 calories left over after that. Well the place we went was a sort of cheapo bar and they had popcorn that was brought to the tables. It looked good and UNbuttery which I like, so I decided to have just a tiny bit of popcorn (but still stay within my limit). Well hubby and I ended up having 2 bowls of popcorn and I had at least 3 or 4 drinks. Then I decided I needed to go to the store and buy candy. After all, I had just hit goal, right? After that, it just went downhill from there that night. However, I ate on plan/a little lower on calories for a few days and was back to normal. And that's how it all began. I thought I could just "make up for it." I would overexercise/under eat in the days following a binge.

I know that didn't really answer your question at all, actually. I'm sorry lol! I'm not really sure why getting to goal set me off. I certainly didn't plan it. In fact, I told myself a billion times that when I reached maintenance my eating wouldn't change. And for the record, it "hasn't". Whenever I binged, it was on "healthy" things. I've binged on the most ridiculous things at times (celery, tomatoes, APPLES).

Oh and about the family function/work events thing: Do you ever feel like maybe you know you'll fail so why bother? I've had that a few times since. Like, I'd know I have a birthday to go to, and I'd know there would be something specific that I want, so it would sort of set of a binge the day before, starting with me saying, "I'll screw it up anyway" ughhh. NO MORE OF THAT.

Anyway, I'm SO sorry this is so long. I PROMISE I won't always write novels!

Great job everyone!! KEEP IT UP! :)

k-boogie- I think I started binging at goal because I felt safe to do it, it's like i was now allowed to eat what I wanted for that one day & I deprived myself of treats while I was dieting(11mo.), I did not cheat on my diet even once. I never allowed myself to have a piece of candy, cake , any processed food or anything fried. I was determined, but that one day, turned into once or twice a week. It was also a way that I maintained my weight without continuing to lose. I was so stupid, it was totally the wrong way to maintain.

jkinboston- I can totally relate to you. I was obsessive also, still am, I had a goal & I was going to do it, no matter what. I am also a perfectionist, that's why i could get right back on plan after a binge, eat 1050 cal for 3 days & the water weight would be gone. The numbers on the scale would scare me and still do. I would binge on sweets, not healthy like you do, the food I didn't allow myself while dieting. The funny thing is, that i still won't eat donuts, fast food, anything fried, cake(unless i make it my way), pie, frozen foods etc. I haven't eaten any of this for 2 yrs. Only ice cream, peanut butter & any type of candy. Isn't that stupid? Sorry, didn't mean to write this much, hope i didn't bore you. lol

Day 10- went real well today, I'm less stressed right now. I noticed I haven't had cravings. Stress causes alot of my food issues, now I know.

Well, here I am again... about 2 weeks ago, I started "playing" with my plan and before I knew it, I was pretty much off... not binging, but in that uncomfortable way where you know you've just eaten too much. That's the feeling that I try to avoid...

Starting over again... Day 1

Hi Everyone. :)

I did not binge today. I am so glad about that. My eating is off due to the stress of my mom in the hospital but I am SO glad to say that I have broken the cycle and did not binge today.

I am really surprised just how slippery that slope is/was. Once it started, all of a sudden I am totally rationalizing it and all of the "old" behaviors and thoughts came rushing back. I AM proud to say that eventhough I binged, it wasn't nearly as bad as it would have been had I not been on this track of healthy eating.

I feel confident in my choices today and I am planning on making tomorrow a great on plan day too. I am looking forward to staying 100% on plan all weekend.

I am new to this site but have heard great things from my dear friend Vixsin who is a member. I have struggled my whole life with food. I am most definitely a binge eater, an emotional eater , a boredom eater and am addicted to sweets. A couple of years ago I started running and working out hard. I continue to workout reguarly but my eating is still out of control. It is 1;20 am and I have to be at work by 7:30am. Why am I up? Because was feeling ****ty about something and went downstairs and made mysef an icecream sunday. My second of the day. Before sept 1 I was living alone and only kept safe food in my apartment but since sept 1st I have been living in a house with roommates who bake fresh bread and cookies all the time and there is always ice cream in the fridge. I feel so scared and powerless. I have been making poor choices for a month and a half now and the weight is sowly creeping back on. ( I lost 25-30 awhile back) I don't know what to do to get back on track. Before when I worked out it was to assist with my weight loss but now I am just working out to try to cancel out the crap i ate 2 hours prior. A losing battle.

:gasp: Hi!!!!!!!! :D

He thinks he's a rebel, but he truly is a prince among men. I love him dearly and you guys will too. :hug:

:welcome3:

Today is Day 3 from "The Event" (isn't that a tv show? :lol:) I feel GOOD today. I feel like there's some pep back in my step. I am down a pound on the scale so that is always nice to see. I am 1 step closer back to my low. The stress is starting to ease up so I know that will play a huge factor on the scale soon.

One foot in front of the other.

rebel - welcome!!! i have been where you are... not that long ago... we are all here to listen and support you! you can do this - you can get out from under the cycle and get on top... make a plan and you can achieve it!!

i am earning day 64. yesterday was a HUGE struggle for me.... i NEARLY got in the car with the kids and binged... (our eye doc appts were cancelled last minute and i was left wihtout a plan and i had time... bad combination!) instead my BF came over and "rescued" me without even knowing he did it!

this morning i decided to w/o early and was just about to give up and go on teh stationary bike instead of run (it is raining and cold this morning)...but i said "NO! you know you are going out for lunch and maybe dinner too...be true to yourself and do not cop out!... so i did it!! over 6km run and i feel amazing for it!!!!

look out Fri, here i come!!!!

Great job, Kim!!! :high:

Earning Day 3 for the first time in a good long while. It's made easier by the fact that I'm sick and it hurts to swallow, though... hey, I'll take it. :D

Oh and about the family function/work events thing: Do you ever feel like maybe you know you'll fail so why bother? I've had that a few times since. Like, I'd know I have a birthday to go to, and I'd know there would be something specific that I want, so it would sort of set of a binge the day before, starting with me saying, "I'll screw it up anyway" ughhh. NO MORE OF THAT.

Anyway, I'm SO sorry this is so long. I PROMISE I won't always write novels!

Great job everyone!! KEEP IT UP! :)

No, actually I don't binge at all "right before" an event or while I'm there (b/c I know everyone is watching me) now I have binged after it was over.

fruitlady: That definitely did not bore me!! I completely know where you are coming from!!

BethC: Welcome back and good luck! :)

Great job to Happy, Yoyo, and Vixsin

Welcome aboard Rebel!! Good luck!

k-boogie: I know what you mean about other people watching, I think a lot of us deal/dealt with the secrecy and the 'waiting til you get home' thing!

Well so far so good on day 4 but I'm SOOO nervous and stressing out like CRAZY about tonight. It's my grandfather's (72nd!) birthday and I just lost my grandmother in January so he's sort of sullen about the whole birthday thing, which just depresses me. Anyway, there will be a lot of temptation and the mood will be just a little on the dark side as my whole family was very close to my grandmother and it's the first time she won't be there for his birthday in... 56 years. Yup. There are no excuses at all. I know what I have to do. I just don't know if I'm strong enough at this point. I really want to be. I'm just afraid that I won't be able to think clearly in the moment. I already have that sort of hopeless feeling of 'why bother.' I really want to do succeed and I so hope I can. I realize it's in my own hands, but my hands aren't very strong at the moment :?:

Ok...so much for day 1... I was upset from the minute I woke up and could feel it coming... why is it that there are times when I say No so easily and then days like today where I feel like I have no choice, but to eat?

Let's start again, right now... Day 1...

Day 249! :D

K-Boogie, wow, I loved your long discoveries. No wonder you start binge-eating. Relatives will make it happen everytime. And I think all of us worry that somebody is looking at our butt or gut or both. (And they probably are!) A lot of people become threatened when they see others losing weight, but try not to let them deter you from your success. (Easier said than done sometimes.) Good luck with the get-together! I'm rooting for you to stay strong! :cheer3:

JK, love the purple color. What's your next reward? Gotta keep motivating ourselves.

Rebel, welcome! :welcome2:

Happy Friday, Everyone!

Tyla :dust:

Day 11- No problems, no stress, easy peasy! lol

Hmm.. I think tonight was gray area. I mean, I did overeat. There's no question about that. I posted earlier about it being my grandfather's birthday etc and so I participated in the meal, which went fine-ish, but then I overindulged on dessert. However, I don't think I want to count it as a binge. I didn't have any of that "gotta eat it all FAST" feeling. I didn't sneak food. I just ate to excess, realized I was quite full, and then stopped. Now it's 8:30PM and I know I'm done for the night, whereas normally I would just binge until bedtime since "I'd screwed up anyway."

So what do you guys do? I'm well over my calories but I feel like I didn't have that crazed binge feeling.. I'm leaning toward not calling it a binge..?

My own personal feeling JK is that it wasn't a binge. You did overeat yes but you DID stop when you realized you were full. If you didn't go to CrazyTown...I say it wasn't a binge.

Just my 2 cents. I say good for you for stopping before you hit 10,000 calories! I know I have been there way too many times. I say you did good because you consciously stopped and didn't have any of the crazy feelings.

Thanks so much for the input Vixsin, and I think you're right. I know that normally I wouldn't be able to let it go. I mean I still have some "guilt" about overeating (ughh food guilt is just unhealthy in my opinion, at least for my psyche), but yeah, the binge mentality just isn't here right now. So then it's on to day 5 tomorrow, woohooo! Thanks again!

I need to watch my calories closely for the next few days, though. Just because I'm not binging doesn't suddenly make it ok for me to overeat instead, but I'd rather eat over calories than restrict myself and binge later, I guess.

Keep up all of the hard work everyone!! :)

Vixsin, what you wrote makes a lot of sense! I guess it's true that not everytime I go off my plan is a technically a binge. This week, I was off plan more than on, but not really binging... As a result, when I weighted in today, I lost .4lbs... I honestly thought I gained 5, so lesson learned...

Starting Day #2

jkin - i agree it wasn't a binge... and i agree that it is a slippery slope of "over calories' turning into a binge... great job pulling back!!!

beth - i hope you made it through day 1 !!!

i am earning day 65... i am sad and happy... today is the anniversary of my divorce a year ago...it makes me happy that i am alone, strong and proud...it makes me sad that my kids have to live in a split household... it makes me sad that my marriage didn't work...it makes me happy that i have moved on and am starting to be okay with being alone... so to reward myself for 65 days and my determination to be the best-single-mom i can... i am going horseback riding for the first time in my life in a few hours... i am very nervous...my belly is doing flops!!! it is a beautiful, cold, fall day here so even the weather seems to want me to ride a horse today!!! :D

i will post a pic or two of my accomplishments and hope that you all enjoy this wonderful day!!!

stay strong - not for anyone else but yourself!!!

Day 156!

I'm feeling really good about not binging...I feel that I've gone for such a long time that I could see myself never doing it again. It's not something that I do.

Of course, there have been days, recently, where I had to really fight the urge to binge, and I'm sure, absolutly sure that it will come back. There's no way it won't. And on those days, I won't feel nearly as positive--I think it's almost like I'm a different person then. So I will keep coming here. Because even though I'm feeling great now, I don't think it will ever be over.

Great job Paris, I think that I thought that the "urges" would go away, too. I'm starting to think that, maybe they won't be as often, but I don't know that they'll ever fully go away. I guess it's the strategies that keep us on track DESPITE the urges that are so important, not getting rid of the urges themselves.

Happy- Thank you for your support. Congrats to you about the horseback riding. I'm sure you have a lot of emotions today and it's great that you are dealing with them in a healthy way. I truly believe that, overall, your children must be happier seeing you in a happy, healthy place, rather than seeing you in a marriage that is hurting you. I don't know the ages of your children, but if they don't see it now; they will.

Beth: Keep it up! Good luck on day 2 and congrats on the .4 loss!!!

It's Day 5 for me! I'll earn my headband today! Lets keep it up!

Today is Day 4. I am going to the movies today with my son. I am not going to have any candy at all. I will make a bag of micro popcorn for us to take with us but the bigger battle for me will be not having any of the candy. OR stopping to buy some to bring in with us. I will report back to you tonite that I did not have any candy. I am confident.

Hoping everyone has a wonderful day!!! :) BBL

Ride'm Cowboy!!

I DID IT!!! :carrot:

Meet Zach, the wonderful horse that let me comb him, clean his feet, put on his saddle and then ride him!!!

(That is not me on him in the pictures, my dear friend Brenda is riding him. When I was on him, she was holding his 'leash' so there were no pictures of me on him)

What an amazing day!!!

Day 12- I ate about 100 cal. more than usual, because I had more fruit in the house. At least it was fruit, now I'm so full i don't want to eat dinner.

Great work Vixsin, we look forward to hearing about your success at the movies. The smells are always so tempting, but I love bringing my own popcorn/snacks in! :)

Happy: I love your rewards for yourself. Zach is a beauty, I love horses!! Looks like you had a lot of well deserved fun, congrats! :)

fruitlady: At least you stopped at 100 calories over. That's fantastic. I loooove fruit, too! I try to only buy a little at a time for that reason!

I'm very ashamed to report that I was not successful today. I wish I could understand what is holding me back, but I just don't know. My "hubby" and I are making it official. I've always referred to him as hubby on 3fc because we've been together forever and have lived together for 3 and a half years, but he's technically my fiance. Anyway, the big day will be next November and I need to start shopping for a dress around April. I don't want a dress that will "hide my belly" or something. I want something that I love. I need to be kind to myself and allow plenty of time to prepare but I feel time slipping away. I just know myself and I really need to get a good two weeks under my belt. THEN I'll really feel good about it and will not want to "ruin it."

So Day 1 again tomorrow. Yes, I'm sad, but I'm also really hopeful. It just has to work out one of these times, right? I'm trying really hard. I am. I don't know why I do this to myself. I don't deserve to hurt my body like this. I find that I do really well during the week when I have structure, then the weekend comes along and it just.. falls apart. Anyway, enough dwelling. It's time to re-adjust my rewards in the ticker and get back on that horse ;)

I'm sorry I keep posting such long and rambling, scattered thoughts. It feels like therapy to come here and confess and get it all out, though. Thanks for listening!

julia - you deserve to ramble!!! i ramble all the time!! i am so glad to see that you are trying not to beat yourself up but see that tomorrow is within your grasp!!! maybe make your rewards for a monday morning? something that will reward you for getting through your weekend? or try to add a bit more structure to your weekend?! congrats on making it official, even if it is a ways away!!!

you deserve this... just try not to pressure yourself too much about it (hard, I KNOW!!!) it will be what it will be and pressure will make it worse...

i look forward to hearing how great day one is for you!!!

jkinboston- Congrads! Lots of luck to you both! Don't worry about starting day 1 tomorrow, it's a new day. You can do it, I know it. When I am binge free for a while and get cravings, I over eat, but they are not binges, no out of control feelings, you know how it feels. It's like I replaced binging w/ over eating. If I am eating junk food, it's still not a healthy thing to do. Be careful and stay in control!

I am proud to report the successful trip to the movies. I was able to have some popcorn and I bought a package of swedish fish. I was able to enjoy every last stinking one of them too!!!! I was well within my calorie range for today.

Julia - Please don't worry about rambling. That's when we sometimes make the best discoveries about ourselves in in mid-ramble!! :) We are here to listen and to offer you support when you're feeling weak. Let out all of the thoughts youre having, they aren't doing you any good staying bottled up!!!! You will ROCK day 1 tomorrow! No sweat!!!! :hug:

Today was great. No mindless eating. I accounted for everything even the candy and popcorn at the movies. All in all, I feel great about today! Bring on tomorrow!!!

Have a great night girls!

vix - way to go girl!!!!! i am very proud of you! movie theatre crap food is soooo easy to go overboard on - especially considering the size of the bags of stuff! and the fact that you savoured and enjoyed it! well that just plain rocks!!!!

wooo hoo!!!

i indulged in a brownie last night, but i figured out a great way to do it - i bought it from the bakery counter at the grocery store - so i didnt have any leftovers, no way to binge!!! and i had accounted the calories beforehand...

feeling very strong today! earning day 66 already!!!

rock it!

happy, vixsin, and fruitlady: Thank you SO very much for your support! I really, really appreciate it and it just feels great to be so understood :) I've read all of your words at least twice and I just find them to be so encouraging!!

I'm feeling very, very strong today. I know it's still quite early, but I've already resisted so many things that we unfortunately have around the house right now (namely chocolate and some leftover cake, which is going in the trash in a few minutes unless hubby eats it).

Anyway, I'm totally prepared to ROCK today. I really am. Feeling strong and enjoying it! :)

Great job at the movies vix- it's so great that you were able to indulge but still stick to your plan.

Same for you happy. Such a good idea to just get one and not have leftovers that you can dip into. It's nice to know yourself well. I have a similar thing for food that I can "just grab." That's why I like buying trigger foods pre-portioned, even though it's more expensive. I buy my nuts in little 100 calorie versions, for example. And when I buy cereal, I weigh it all and put it in serving sized baggies, because for some reason, if it's pre-portioned out, I'm MUCH less likely to dip into it than if they're all in a can and I just grab "a little" here and "a little" there. It's nice to know oneself well :)

Anyway, let's all do great today!

jkinboston, I think you're right about strategies that keep us on track in spite of the urges. We can't control the urges, but we can control how we react to them. It's just so hard, and I wish that I didn't have to live like this. Most people don't, and sometimes it just makes me so mad that I do, and I will, for the rest of my life.

Starting day 157!

Same for you happy.
And when I buy cereal, I weigh it all and put it in serving sized baggies, because for some reason, if it's pre-portioned out, I'm MUCH less likely to dip into it than if they're all in a can and I just grab "a little" here and "a little" there. It's nice to know oneself well :)

!

Oh it's like you're talking THRU me on that one! I spend at least an hour out of my Sunday's usually when I am in a good streak and I will portion out my cereal. The whole box. That way, I can just throw one of the bags to have with my yogurt and I already know how many calories it is. On a good day I would do that with baby carrots for the week and if I've cooked up any chicken or pork, I would weigh it out and bag it up too.

Today is Day 5. One foot in front of the other. :) :running:

Great show of restraint with that brownie, Kim! Nicely done. :high: I find that it feels better to savour. I'm still learning of course, but I am enjoying the learning process.

Day 13!

Day 3... feeling a lot better, but tomorrow is work again and it was all of the craziness there that upset me last week... I must remain calm!! Eating will only make things worse, right? Breathe...

Hi, I am new to this thread. I have seen this thread before but didn't know if you were not binge free that you could still post here. I know that sounds silly but I just thought binge free was something I yearn for but didn't know if it would ever be something I could accomplish. Today I had an ah-ha moment(as Oprah says) and that is I have a problem with food. I mean I always knew but I didn't know in the most important way.I always knew but I saw several pictures taken of myself a couple weeks ago and it nearly brought me to my knees. I know it sounds crazy but I don't have a full length mirror I guess when I did have a chance to look at myself in a larger mirror it was just too painful. Unfortunetly photos don't lie and for the very first time in years I looked at "me" an saw what the years of being this overweight (I am approx. 300 lbs.) has done to me I looked so much older than my actual age. I am 49 and I look 69 (I know that is exaggerating some but not alot). I, also, wrote a thread today and some of the feelings that came out were very important. I wrote without thinking about it "It has robbed me of so much of my life." binge eating that is. Sorry if I rambled it's to nice find a daily thread were I think I belong.

Thank you for listening!

*Today is my day one.*

Bonnie

Good Morning All.

Welcome Bonnie. You have come to a great place to give and receive some amazing support. I hope you enjoy your stay. :)

Today is Day 7. It's hard to believe that last Monday I binged. I still remember how it felt to let go and give in. I think I want to remember that feeling today and really sit with it. Otherwise, I am feeling great today and in total control.

Hope everyone else has a great day too!! :hug:

bonnie2009- Welcome! you'll like it here.

Day 14- I did eat too much today, went way over my calories, stopped when I was full though. No binge! I was so hungry for chocolate & peanut butter, I had to have some.

Day 8 is looking great! :)