100 lb. Club - Question
10-27-2002, 03:55 PM
I have a question that doesnot deal with weight issues.I dated a guy about 7 times. The last time I saw him he said he wanted to talk.It was late and I had work the next morning.I drove by his house one day,thinking if I saw him we could talk.I told him about it on his answering machine.Ihave not heard from him. I know it would have been easier just to call ,but I did not.I did not hear from him a week after I saw him. Do you think he got mad I did that or freaked out? I would appreciate any comments.I'm not great at this dating thing.
10-27-2002, 05:17 PM
I would not think that he would get freaked out because you drove by. Do you know why he "wanted to talk". Could it have been because he didn't want to continue dating?
Honestly, just call him. Sometimes our lives get so busy that we lose track of the people in our lives and forget to call. Who knows what's been going on with him. Try and call when you know he'll be home. When you talk with him, don't be all "Why haven't you called". Just tell him you'd like to see him and talk, see what comes of it. Guys can be so weird about stuff.
Good Luck!! :)
10-29-2002, 04:52 PM
So...what did you do??
10-29-2002, 06:41 PM
I was ready to call,and decided to wait. In the meantime I found out through the grapevine that he went back to his old girlfriend that he was with for 2 yrs.What hurts the most is that he did not respond to my call or even have the decency to call and tell me.
I really believed him when he said that he would be honest with me.The more people I meet the more I like my dog.
Thanks for your concern,Lauren
10-29-2002, 06:45 PM
The dog thing is too funny and true at the same time. I was thinking when he said he wanted to talk that it couldnt be good. Nothing good ever comes after that phrase. Sorry it didnt work out but obviously your prince is still out there! I am looking for one too! good luck!
10-29-2002, 07:49 PM
Guys are just idiots some times. Really, I dated EVERYBODY under the sun until I ended up with Significant Other I'm currently with. My favorite was someone I toted as the most honest man I ever met, until I found he was screwing around with a friend of mine.
The best revenge is always living well.... although I admit I still have fantasies of beating the tar out of a certain someone in a dark alley... living well is better... less chance of a felony violation. :)
10-29-2002, 09:20 PM
this may sound really corny... but do any of you remember back in the mid-late 90's a book called "the rules" - well if you are single - read it! It worked for me. I used to always be the type giving him an excuse why "he" didn't call. If he wants you he will call.
The Rules works - I tried it on my husband - and it worked perfect. My sister got me the book for Christmas. I met my husband in early January... I strongly believe that if I didn't change we would not be married today.
10-30-2002, 10:57 AM
Hmmmmm. Interesting. Apparently, that is why he wanted to talk to you.
Gotta love those spineless jelly fish.
Move on...and smile. Don't even sweat it.
10-30-2002, 11:40 AM
Originally posted by sparrow
What hurts the most is that he did not respond to my call or even have the decency to call and tell me.
My friend is on the dating scene again & said this same thing. "He could've at least called me!" No. That would be being considerate of your feelings, which he obviously is not. It fits the pattern, babe, sorry to say.
Would it be better for him to have called you up to tell you *exactly* why he didn't want to go out w/you anymore? I mean, I know what faults I have, and why I need to work on them. The things that bother some don't bother others. *shrugs*
I don't think it was a matter of you, personally, Lauren.
Bah. It is impossible to figure out. :grouphug:
10-31-2002, 08:25 AM
Lauren, I'm sorry you had to put up with that. Unfortunately, that kind of behavior is not uncommon. I don't know if i helps at all, but most likely he didn't want to hurt your feelings (in his mind - in reality he probably didn't want to deal with his own feelings that he would get while dumping you!) Let's face it, unless you're pretty cold, it's HARD dumping someone! I think, too, a guy knows how a woman is typically going to react to being dumped, and that is certainly enough to make him do whatever he can to avoid it! If we were typically able to take an honest dumping logically and unemotionally, maybe guys wouldn't be so reticent about being up front about it! Really, think about it -- while you might not be the kind to cry and plead or namecall, that is not an uncommon reaction from a woman, and if a man can avoid that I imagine most of them will!
So does that make it right? Well, no, but I guess that's just the way things typically are! Heck, I still have problems with my husband holding things inside because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings - he knows from experience that he doesn't like my reaction when he tells me something I, at least on the surface, don't want to hear, so he avoids it like the plague!
I hope you can get yourself over this and get out there and have some fun ... perhaps if you'll let yourself have some fun without worrying about the fact you're not dating someone, then when you least expect the right one will come along ...