[JenMusic]

I'm visiting my best friend for her birthday this weekend. I've been looking forward to this trip for a long time, but now, seemingly out of nowhere, I'm stressed.

1. My friend knows, in a vague way, that I've been losing "some" weight and watching what I eat. But she's been my friend for a long time, and seen me yo-yo back and forth. This is the lowest I've ever been, by far, and the first time I've stuck to it for longer than two months. I don't really think she's prepared for how much my lifestyle has changed.

2. She's already mentioned all the places she wants to eat while I'm visiting. Yikes! I can plan ahead, sure, and I don't mind eating out since it's a special occasion, but I'm not going crazy, and I'm going to be high-maintenance about what I order.

3. I used to live in this city, and I'm going to see a lot of old friends. I'm kind of nervous that no one will notice the weight loss. Gosh darn it, I want someone to say I look good!

4. Paradoxically, I don't like being the center of attention and kind of dread attention placed on the weight loss. I know, I know, I can't have it both ways! I'm not trying to be annoying, but these are my feelings as they occur to me.

Basically, I want to have fun with one of my dearest friends without food or weight becoming issues. Is this possible? What can I do/say to encourage things in that direction?

Also, it's entirely possible I'm stressing out over nothing and making a mountain out of a molehill. I really hope that's the case.

[Slim CB]

52lbs lost??? I am pretty sure they will notice!!

[xty]

you lost a ton of weight, people will def notice! and learning how to accept a compliment is a skill you can develop

it is pretty simple to say thanks and yet put the conversation to an end. just practice some version of the following that sounds like something you would say:

old friends: omg you look amazing!!! what did you do?!
you: thank you, how sweet of you to notice. ive been focusing more on my overall health and it feels great, so are you still working at x job, seeing x girl, doing x extra-curricular activities (usually they will take the hint, if not...)
old friends: no really, what did you do OMG!
you: haha thanks, as im sure you can understand it is never a magic bullet. just hard work. (smile) oh there is betty, i better go say hi.

basically just asserting yourself in a friendly way that doesnt allow the convo to ever get into an interrogation of what you eat, when you workout, what plan you follow, etc.

dont worry about being high-maint when you eat out, its a new way of life and if you are gracious in your request people are so helpfup.

and enjoy the compliments, you earned them!

[nationalparker]

And, too, WHY does she want to eat at all these places while you're there - for HER for for YOU? Maybe pick your two favorite and enjoy, but don't have every meal, or every day be a splurge.

Great responses, xty - I like the casualness, but firmness!

Have a great time!

[ringmaster]

yeah, people will definitely notice you went from 200 to 148, that's a big difference. Try to make the visit more focused on your friends and the people and not food and the places you are eating. I think nationalparker suggesting skipping out on some meals and not splurging everyday is a wise idea. You could always just have tea or coffee to have something in front of you. As long as there aren't any food pushers around, you'll be all good!

[JenMusic]

Thanks for calming me down, everyone!

xty - Really good suggestions. It's not just weight compliments I'm awkward about, I'm pretty awkward just in general. But accept and deflect seems to be a good strategy.

To clarify, 200 is my HW, and when I visited last I was about 175-180, which was a common yo-yo weight in the past. But I've gone from a size 14/16 to an 8/10, so yeah, I'm excited about that.

[JenMusic]

The weekend went really well! I was able to make some restaurant plans (on a side note, what did we do before the internet???) and ate within my calories. Saturday was over, but still within daily averages for the week.

People's reactions were all positive, and nothing was really uncomfortable. One friend did say to me, "When did you get skinny?" which just cracked me up, because I am definitely not skinny, but coming from her it was a definite compliment.

Thanks again for the encouragement.

[xty]

Yay! Thanks for the update, so glad to hear it went well

[shcirerf]

Woo HOo! Glad it went well!