100 lb. Club - Is planning to fail, really failing?




Cleophas
09-18-2010, 05:41 AM
I'm going out tonight with friends to see a movie and have dinner tonight. I'm going to have a big dinner with fries and it will tot up to about a thousand calories. I went to the website and checked it all out to make sure I knew what I was eating. Then I planned the rest of the day so I would fall under my calorie budget, I'm on 1,800 because of my weight so it's not as much of a fiddle as it sounds. I'm ready for a water weight blip on the scale because of the salt and the fat is below my allowance.

I just can't shake the feeling, that despite the preparation and the fact that this food is not a reward for me and it's something I'm deciding on, that I'm a failing in some way.


ValRock
09-18-2010, 06:09 AM
For me... it would be. I fooled myself for a long time saying it was ok to use food for a reward... but that only helped me to lose and relose the same 20 lbs about 15 times.

I can't say the same for you.... you have to do what you're comfortable with and what you can handle on your plan.

Best of luck!

Rosinante
09-18-2010, 06:29 AM
Not even remotely a fail. And you're not planning to fail, ditch that idea, you are planning to accommodate something that is important to you into your Way of Eating. That's what 'normal' people do!

You might find later on on your journey that the idea of a big meal is no longer so important to you but if tonight it is, then you've done your planning.

1. - Be sure that you stick to what you've planned to eat: it's Planned, it's not a fail, so don't think, "O, I'm failing anyway, I might just as well eat X and Y and Z as well".
2. - In the next few days accept the scale ~ you'll be learning what food affects you how. This is being grown up about how we treat our bodies. (Hey, it's taken me 55 years to be this grown up!)
3. - Like you say, drink your water and water and water to minimize any bloat.

You haven't got a Fail, you've got a Plan!


JayEll
09-18-2010, 06:41 AM
Real life means planning exactly the way you're doing. Failing is when you set out to do one thing and instead find yourself off the rails overeating foods you didn't intend to eat.

The only thing I'd caution you about is that you try to make good food choices. I hope those fries are made with fresh, whole potatoes and are the best that could be had anywhere--otherwise, they aren't worth it.

Be prepared for your weight loss to stall for a bit. Know that as long as you stay with your calorie target, you'll be OK in the long run.

Cheers!
Jay

neonwildflower
09-18-2010, 08:20 AM
I agree with the previous posts, especially Rosinante... that's basically exactly what I was going to say. And like you said, it's not a reward, it's just a social outing and this is how it's going to play into your plan. You've allocated calories for it, and are prepared to see a wobble on the scale. If you came on here and told us all "I've lost __ so I figure I deserve to eat fries, etc." we would all remind you that you can't reward good eating with bad eating. But you're not doing that, so go on out with your friends, enjoy every bite of your food, and carry on with your plan. And have fun!

AZ Sunrises
09-18-2010, 09:40 AM
Not even remotely a fail. And you're not planning to fail, ditch that idea, you are planning to accommodate something that is important to you into your Way of Eating. That's what 'normal' people do!

You haven't got a Fail, you've got a Plan!


This. Is life worth living if you can't make an occasional concession while you're out and about?? If you plan your meals in advance, you'll make accommodations for your other meals during the day and stay closer to your calorie range. :)

SeaWave
09-18-2010, 10:34 AM
It's difficult when there's a group of people getting together to insist on going to one particularly 'healthy' restaurant. You don't want to become antisocial or a food zealot! Totally agree with what Rosinante said. Also, make sure that this one break in your regular eating habits doesn't cause a slide over the next few days. Remain vigilant, and aware of if it causes cravings, etc. Either way, this can also be a learning experience for you to put under your belt!

ETA: Enjoy your evening out!

Risssa
09-18-2010, 10:37 AM
Is it a fail? What do you define as a fail?

In the "real world" it is okay to eat certain foods. The frequency and portion size are what determine whether it is sustainable or not.

I don't think of foods as good or bad. There are foods that are better for me than others. For me this journey is about finding balance.

Cleophas
09-18-2010, 10:50 AM
Thanks guys, I appreciate the idea that 'I've not got a fail, I've got a plan.' I was surprised when hearing it put that way made it click a little more in my head. Tomorrow I'm going to go back to the routine of eating healthy and solid breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also got on the bike for an hour this afternoon to offset the cost a little bit.

It feels like I've not been out properly in ages :hat: Don't worry, I won't fall out of my plan, now that I know I've got one ;)

QuilterInVA
09-18-2010, 11:26 AM
Rewarding yourself with food is a slippery slope. Why are you feeling the need for this? Food should never be a reward. You can't be getting in all your healthy choices for the day eating 1000 calories of fat and poor choices. That's actually a punishment. If we want to be successful, we need to take charge of eating situations and contine to make the best choices, not fall into this trap. All you are doing is undoing what good you have done before. You can never return to old food choices and ways of eating if you want to be successful and not be a yo-yo dieter.

Robsia
09-18-2010, 11:32 AM
Rewarding yourself with food is a slippery slope. Why are you feeling the need for this? Food should never be a reward. You can't be getting in all your healthy choices for the day eating 1000 calories of fat and poor choices. That's actually a punishment. If we want to be successful, we need to take charge of eating situations and contine to make the best choices, not fall into this trap. All you are doing is undoing what good you have done before. You can never return to old food choices and ways of eating if you want to be successful and not be a yo-yo dieter.

She says
... the fat is below my allowance.

I just can't shake the feeling, that despite the preparation and the fact that this food is not a reward for me and it's something I'm deciding on, that I'm a failing in some way.

Personally, I think that you can't go through life never having another meal out ever again, or never having fries ever again. So long as it's not too often - you can have a meal out with fries!!

Eliana
09-18-2010, 12:06 PM
I did exactly this just last night. I planned on Mexican. I ordered the Fajita and asked for it with extra onion and to please serve it with a plate of lettuce and cooked tomatoes instead of the refried beans and rice crap. It was THE best Fajita salad I have ever had! I had a whopping two ounce salt blip this morning. :D Quite worth it.

That's living. We went out with friends. We enjoy meeting for dinner now and then. I couldn't do this if I couldn't make it work in my life.

cfmama
09-18-2010, 12:08 PM
You are planning to incorporate a great night out with friends INTO YOUR LIFESTYLE. That is in NO WAY a fail. GREAT JOB!!!!

caryesings
09-18-2010, 02:02 PM
You are planning to incorporate a great night out with friends INTO YOUR LIFESTYLE. That is in NO WAY a fail. GREAT JOB!!!!

I agree. The only thing that seems a bit off is the calorie count you are projecting for a restaurant meal including fries. Seems pretty low count to me. I've noticed most restaraunt's nutritional info is for the entree only (even for meals that come automatically with certain sides like fries), with the fries listed in a seperate section.

Lori Bell
09-18-2010, 04:32 PM
I agree. The only thing that seems a bit off is the calorie count you are projecting for a restaurant meal including fries. Seems pretty low count to me. I've noticed most restaraunt's nutritional info is for the entree only (even for meals that come automatically with certain sides like fries), with the fries listed in a seperate section.
That's what I was thinking. Heck at Red Robin restaurant, many of the burgers are well in the 1200 calorie range for the burger alone. Add fries and a few drinks and you are talking 2500 for the meal.

I'd only warn the OP to use extra caution. Being at the beginning stages of this journey, sometimes these little blips can create huge detours. For me it wouldn't be worth it, but I wanted the weight off ASAP. Many people don't care how long it takes, and that is fine too...if you can handle the added cravings from a carb heavy meal.

rockinrobin
09-18-2010, 05:21 PM
That's what I was thinking. Heck at Red Robin restaurant, many of the burgers are well in the 1200 calorie range for the burger alone. Add fries and a few drinks and you are talking 2500 for the meal.

I'd only warn the OP to use extra caution. Being at the beginning stages of this journey, sometimes these little blips can create huge detours. For me it wouldn't be worth it, but I wanted the weight off ASAP. Many people don't care how long it takes, and that is fine too...if you can handle the added cravings from a carb heavy meal.

I was thinking both these exact things. The calorie count seems a tad on the low side.

But more importantly - well, I think it's a little early on in the game to start with that type of meal.

In previous attempts I was always trying to figure out how to add those foods in - and it really led to disastrous results. It kept my love of *those foods* alive and kicking. I needed to kill my love of those foods. So *I* needed to distance myself from them. I needed to detox from them so to speak. The more I went without them, the less I wanted them.

I wanted to make this journey easier, not harder, and for me, keeping my love and desires for those foods at such a high level, was waaaaay too hard. Because then I always had to resist, resist, resist. It was SUCH a struggle. After a couple of pretty rough weeks of abstaining - I didn't need to resist - I no longer wanted them. Miraculous!!!

I was done taking chances. I wanted the weight - gone, off, goodbye, good riddance. I was done being fat, had had enough of it. It was time to do something different, since it was different results I was after. If you want extraordinary results, I believe extraordinary measures are required.

You can certainly use this as an experiment though. See where it lands you.

Cleophas
09-18-2010, 05:36 PM
Well, I'm back and it was awesome. I had a really good time and I didn't have a problem with the food, even left some on the plate when I was full so it's another victory :)

I agree. The only thing that seems a bit off is the calorie count you are projecting for a restaurant meal including fries. Seems pretty low count to me. I've noticed most restaraunt's nutritional info is for the entree only (even for meals that come automatically with certain sides like fries), with the fries listed in a seperate section.

Oh, the main part of the meal was grilled chicken breast with a herb rub with some spinach and the portion of fries was relatively small which probably accounts for the low value, the site did have the fries in a separate section but I'm onto their wiley ways ;)

Quilter I'm not rewarding myself with food, I worked it into what I am allowed as a once in a blue moon event, I don't go out a whole lot with friends. I have 800 calories to play with outside of this meal and I played the **** out of them, sure I'm at the upper limit of my calories today but I got in five fruits and veg, all my water and a respectable chunk of protein. I'm also a sugar fiend, not a savoury one so this won't trigger my cravings.

lolcat
09-18-2010, 05:47 PM
IMO, definitely *NOT* a fail!

95% of the time I really behave myself and eat only healthy things. However, I am the type that if I said "Oh, I can never go above X calories" or "I can never have X,Y,Z again" I set myself for an enormous binge and subsequent complete failure. So I go about this knowing that I DO allow an occasional "cheat", and in knowing that, I don't feel like I HAVE to have anything. I will "cheat" and then the next day I am back on plan.

IMO being too restrictive isn't healthy in the long run... at least for some of us.

Glad you had a good time, and I bet your friends are glad you joined in the fun and festivities!!!

ValRock
09-18-2010, 07:54 PM
I think it's also important to untangle this notion that eating fatty greasy carb loaded foods is "living life". Sure, you have to have a realistic plan that's sustainable... but why does it have to include foods that are essentially garbage as far as your body is concerned?

So YES, by all means, go out with your friends and have a wonderful evening... I just don't see why "living life" can't be a healthier choice? It's not restrictive it's just making a choice not to eat crap and pay for it by feeling like crap later even if the scale doesn't move up.

And like Robin said, eating these things makes it HARDER not easier in the long run. Your body can't crave what it never has.

I think I've been doing this for too long :P.

Trazey34
09-18-2010, 08:15 PM
I agree with the NOT FAILING posts -- if you COUNT it, it's not a fail in my mind.

It's funny how much of a "fries snob" you become eh??? There are so many places, blech, I wouldn't waste the calories on, whereas before I had no idea you could have anything ELSE! My new fav side is 1/2 a baked potato smothered in salsa rowrrrrrrr hellllllo! and it's available just about everywhere!

Keep on countin!

neonwildflower
09-18-2010, 08:32 PM
Well, I'm back and it was awesome. I had a really good time and I didn't have a problem with the food, even left some on the plate when I was full so it's another victory :)

...

I'm at the upper limit of my calories today but I got in five fruits and veg, all my water and a respectable chunk of protein. I'm also a sugar fiend, not a savoury one so this won't trigger my cravings.

This sounds like a major WIN to me! Way to go. Glad you had a great time.

Rosinante
09-19-2010, 02:20 AM
Cleophas, it sounds good to me! and well done on leaving food on the plate ~ I find that so hard to do!

Cleophas
09-19-2010, 04:52 AM
Thanks for your support guys :) The ironic thing for me is that after that meal I've lost two pounds between yesterday and today, I know that's a fluke and not an excuse to go back and eat crud every day it just made me giggle, I'll see what happens on official weigh in day.

Val, I think for you it would make them harder to resist in the future, but for me after eating that meal all I'm thinking is that it's done and over with and now I can move on. If I had decided not to eat them in a controlled way I think now I would obsessing over what I can't have, I've been here too many times before to think otherwise, that's the diet killer for me, not being 'allowed' to have something. I just have to make sure that when I do, it's worth it, to me, last night was worth it :)

rockinrobin
09-19-2010, 05:03 AM
Thanks for your support guys :) The ironic thing for me is that after that meal I've lost two pounds between yesterday and today, I know that's a fluke and not an excuse to go back and eat crud every day it just made me giggle, I'll see what happens on official weigh in day.
)

I just want to caution you on this, although I see you're aware that it's most likely a fluke.

Very often, what we do one day does not immediately show on the scale the very next day. Losing pounds, gaining pounds, it's not an automatic process. So those two pounds were very most likely the result from previous days and weeks *work*, not your splurge meal.

And in the same manner, don't be shocked if you see a RISE in the scale a day or two from now as the results of that splurge meal.

As far as it being harder, easier, what not to eat or not eat *those* foods, I think anyone who's ever gone the abstinent route, will tell you that it is harder - initially - temporarily - as you go through the detox stage, that uncomfortable part of weaning yourself off of the stuff. Initially harder (perhaps two weeks), but from that point on, it's *relatively* smooth sailing as you don't even want the stuff.

Obviously, we are all different, so obviously we all have to find what works for each of us - and what doesn't.

I look forward to hearing of your continued progress. :)

Cleophas
09-19-2010, 05:29 AM
Thanks Robin and yes I know that's it's probably not going to stay like that but I'm keeping an eye on how it affects me in the coming week even though official weigh in day is a couple of weeks away. You're right that we all have to find our own path, I know there are things I can't eat without going and troughing the whole cake and that some people couldn't do what I did last night but would be able to stop at one sweet. I'm really happy that I am becoming able to see my limits, it was something I never managed before.