[matt_H]

I've read about this and I'm curious what your experience with this have been. Phantom fat is the idea that someone who loses significant amount of weight still sees themselves as fat even when others do not.

I'm still really concerned about my weight. When I see myself in the mirror with clothes on, I see someone that looks fairly normal weight. When I see myself naked I see myself as grossly fat with a large stomach and huge thighs. Part of it is the loose skin, but skin cannot be that thick! My stomach is not flat but protrudes way out and I feel like my thighs are the size of tree trunks.

My BMI is now barely in the "normal" territory and my body fat percentage is 14.9% (in the "healthy" range for a male).

Is the fat I see all just loose skin? Will I ever be able to just see myself as someone that is a normal weight?

If you've maintained a healthy weight for a long time, do you now see yourself as a thin person??

[cherylmn]

Hi Matt,

First of all, congratulations on your tremendous accomplishment. Wow - you are such an inspiration!

I cannot answer your question from the perspective of someone who has maintained a healthy weight for a long time (I'm just in maintenance mode since June), but wanted to let you know you are not alone. I was just checking things out last night after my workout & was wondering if my stomach would ever look flat, my thighs ever look toned...and let's not even talk about my backside!!

Seriously, it is disappointing after so much hard work to still see the imperfections; however, I think we have to work to focus on the positives. We may never meet our own expectations, but you have reclaimed your health and are in awesome shape (14.9% body fat?? YIPPEE!).

It also takes time for our bodies to adjust. I am definitely noticing that, and I have only lost ~30% of my original body weight. My stomach was much loser at the beginning of the summer - in some ways, I felt slimmer. The lose skin is still there for sure (gross) and yes, I believe some (most) of it is fat, too - but it is getting to be less as I'm acclimating to my new 'normal' weight.

Be gentle with yourself. Don't let the mirror get the best of you. For many of us, our eyes cannot be trusted...allow yourself to soak up other people's kind comments about how awesome you look and use the data to judge fitness/health, not the mirror. If it continues to bother you, a visit to a doctor to get an outside opinion regarding skin vs. fat may help ease your mind.


I'm sure the long term maintainers have some better advice for you. I just wanted you to know you are not alone & that I hope you will not let perceived imperfection ruin what is an amazing accomplishment.

[StephanieM]

Hey Matt,

I don't think I've seen you around before personally but I just wanted to start by saying congratulatons on your accomplishments!

I feel similar as you do, but I'm not sure if it is to the same extremes. I've only lost 37 and a half pounds and still have 17 and a half to go. Sometimes I feel like I haven't lost any weight.

I think this ties back to the fact that I was quite obese for my height before but did not realize to what extent. Only looking at photo's of myself from before can snap me back into realizing how much I've changed my body.

I don't know what the solution is for this, I just know that looking at those old photos combined with tracking my weight daily and measuring myself monthly are the only way I can show myself how far I've come.

And now I'm close to my goal weight and I'm totally confused as to whether I should stop at that weight or lose more. I feel like I don't know how my body should look. I still have a bit of a tummy pouch and I don't see that dissappearing in 17 pounds.

I want you to know I see people talking about this here often, you are definately not alone. It affects in different ways, but it's a common situation.

You have an amazing body fat percentage by the way! I'm at 31% with 17 pounds left and that's one of the reasons why I'm not sure if it is enough, and I am weight lifting as well.

[saef]

That's a well-chosen term for it, Matt, since I've read in other places that amputees sometimes have the sensation that a missing or amputated limb is still attached to their bodies.

I imagine that I do have some of the same feelings about my lost fat as those amputees have about their phantom limbs.

I feel that way in the morning, when I am really tired, and don't want to get out of bed.

I feel that way after eating a little too much.

I feel that way if I'm sluggish and unhappy, and something's bothering me.

I feel that way if I'm indecisive & paralyzed by inaction.

And yes, sometimes just from looking in the mirror. But I've decided that I am unable to look at myself in a mirror with any kind of scientific dispassionate observation. I'm always looking at myself while feeling something, or judging, or comparing with some mental ideal, and the mirror reflects my feelings, rather than any uninflected reality.

I do think it's gotten a little better over time, as I've looked at myself in diffent mirrors & from different angles. I seem to be building up a composite image in my mind's eye that is gradually effacing all of my accumulated memories of what I used to look like. I'm now at the point where I found some photos of myself from five years ago, before my weight loss effort started, and was surprised that I used to look like that.

I hate being told that the passage of time solves everything, but I think it does help with seeing yourself as you really are now, at this moment, without the phantom fat, as well as with the slight tightening up of loose skin.

But I hate telling you that, because I myself get impatient with that answer. I feel like I lost a lot of time being fat, and hate the idea that I might have to delay achieving self-acceptance for an even longer period of time while I get used to seeing the Current Saef v.2.

[Eliana]

Matt, after seeing your "extra skin pics", I'm telling you, you would lose at least 10 pounds if you lost that skin. So maybe if you subtract 10 pounds from your weight you might getter a clearer picture of yourself? I mean, that would put you 10 pounds INTO your normal weight category. And you are quite the athlete now so you do have a lot of muscle. Basically, I don't buy the BMI chart for you AT ALL. And I'm of the mindset that it does fit most people.

My point is that you look fantastic! You just have some extra skin problems. I just hope that extra skin doesn't skew your eye too terribly much. You're down right skinny! You really are. I'm a perfect stranger with no emotional ties to telling you that...and even if you did know me in person you'd know I don't sugar coat! You're thin.