100 lb. Club - Why am I doing this to myself?

View Full Version : Why am I doing this to myself?

09-14-2010, 09:50 AM
Hey everyone. I am stuck. I have been stuck for a few months now. My whole life I have always just gained and gained weight. All the way to 365 pounds! I am 29 and really don't want to live like this. It has added so many problems in my life!

In 2008/2009 between extreme life stress/changes I just started losing weight. Mostly cutting back portions and moving more. I lost 75 pounds but gained a decent amount back. I find myself here again becoming the talker and never the action taker. I feel really stuck and not sure how to get out of this rut.

I was writing in my journal this morning and wrote something that really sort of hit me hard. I wrote: Why am I allowing food to take priority over my health and happiness?

I am not really sure why. And its ridiculous! I am this miserable all for a soda, fast food and junk.

Just a vent I guess. I have got to find a way for this to stick! What things helped you jump start and stick with it?

09-14-2010, 10:07 AM
I had my first completely on plan day yesterday, and it felt great! I know exactly how you feel. Just try one day at a time. I get really discouraged thinking of how much I have to lose. I took some advice that I read here and I am making the JUNK FOOD absolute NO'S for me. It will be much easier than having a little and trying to stop.

I know you can do it! Just try one day at a time.

09-14-2010, 10:34 AM
You have to get the momentum started and you can do that by making some positive changes that you can live with. First thing I'd recommend is giving up regular soda! Americans consume up to 1/3rd of their calories by beverages that have no nutritional value at all. I drink diet soda, some people recommend giving it up completely. You could literally drop several pounds a week just making that one change.

09-14-2010, 11:17 AM
I was just watching a particularly good episode of Dr. Oz yesterday! You might want to check out his website for video of it. He had four specialists on that really put weight loss into perspective.

You'll find great support here. I love this place!

My best recommendation is to give yourself the gift of time. Weight loss for me has been about patience. I had to give up the notion that I would lose some great amount by a certain day. I decided that I wanted to see how far I could get if I just stayed on plan with food and exercise for a year. Now that my year is almost up, I'm pretty happy with the results and there is no going back. After a year of being on plan I accidentally made it a lifestyle. ;)

09-14-2010, 11:25 AM
I know it sounds radical, but what worked for me was just going cold turkey on sugar/junk. I craved those foods, but when I stopped eating them, the cravings also stopped.

It was like I was in food prison for 20 years but I didn't know that I had the key!

If you had told me 6 years ago that I would live a life without scones, muffins, packaged cookies, I would have said that was an AWFUL way to live - I loved those foods. It turns out, I can live without them just fine. I am living as a slender, healthy woman with a closet full of adorable size 6 clothes. I love pictures of myself!

If I compare my life WITH junk to my life WITHOUT junk, I am by far happier now. Those foods might have tasted good, but they did NOT make me happy.

For me, it was so much easier just to make things black/white. I don't eat those foods. How simple is that? No struggling to work them in to my daily calorie allotment. No cravings. No feeling guilt. Just "no thank you, I don't eat that."

We all have to find out what works best on this journey - since every journey is unique and deeply personal. I found that I can't live without peanut butter, small amounts of dark chocolate and red wine. I found that I can easily live without soda, junk food, fast food and most fried foods.

09-14-2010, 11:39 AM
I'm right there with you at this point in my life...I'm having to reevaluate myself and my goals, trying to decide what the best approach is to get my butt back in the game!

I wish you the best of luck...the ladies around here are very smart, and have incredibly good advice :)

09-14-2010, 11:48 AM
If this was facebook, I would put a double big gigantic LIKE next to Glory's post. Her experience was/is the same as mine.

I guess my jumpstart was the realization that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be. That I really and truly DID have control over the situation. That it was my choice to get super morbidly obese and it would therefore have to be my choice to dig myself out.

And here is something I posted earlier this morning. (Yes, I'm headed out the door and am taking the easy way out ;).

Know that you DO have the ability to lose the weight. We all do. It's not some hare brained, crazy, out of this world scheme. We all are capable of it. Yourself included.

Eating well, adhering to a healthy life style is nothing to fear, nothing to loathe. Remaining obese IS. So, you need to fear and loathe it (remaining obese).

At some point, you will have to come to the conclusion that all that *food* comes at too high of a price. That the consequences are just too high.

At some point your desire to be thin, healthy, fit and active will have to outweigh, overtake and overpower the desire for all that food.

At some point you will have to come to terms that you just can't have it both ways - the high calorie, high quantity food and be the optimal you.

At some point you will have to recognize that you DO have the power over this. That it IS within your control. That being overweight is a choice. That getting slim is a choice. And you are the one that gets to choose.

At some point you will have to realize that it's okay to tell yourself no. That you don't have to give into a craving or a desire or a want. You will have to stop worrying about your immediate gratification and look to your long term satisfaction.

At some point, you'll have to change what you want. The foods that you're eating, the way that you're living.

At some point you will have to change your relationship with food. You can't use it for times of anger, loneliness, boredom, stress, happiness, joy.

At some point you will have to stop focusing on what you are giving up and focus on what you are GAINING.

At some point you will just have to do the mature, responsible, adult thing and make mature, responsible decisions.

At some point you will have to realize that all work, effort, time, devotion, persistence and dedication that this requires is incredibly worth it and to not do it would be ludicrous.

At some point you will just have to suck it up and get past the uncomfortable moments of changing your bad habits and incorporating the new ones in. There WILL be uncomfortable moments - initially, temporarily.

At some point you will have to raise your standards and require more from yourself. And stop settling for foods that just taste good. You'll need them to taste good and BE good for you; long after your done chewing.

At some point you will have to challenge yourself and really, really push yourself. You'll have to give it 150 percent. You'll have to push and push. Reaching, stretching, striving, growing, prospering.

At some point you'll have to realize that eating well, adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no prison sentence. But a ticket to freedom. That will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine. Ones you didn't even realize were closed.

At some point you will have to say, enough is enough. I'm not going to take this another minute. I'm done being fat. That it can't possibly be as hard to lose the weight as it is to remain morbidly obese. Choosing your hard.

At some point you will have to decide to do this, once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what.

At some point you'll have to set yourself up for success. Get rid of the junk. Make a plan, make a plan, make a plan. Plan, plan and than plan some more. Plan out your food schedule in advance, knowing where each and every bite is coming from AHEAD OF TIME. Much easier to stick to a plan when you've got one. Write down each and every morsel that goes into your mouth before it goes in that said mouth. No matter what. It doesn't go into your mouth before you write it down. Be firm. Make some boundaries, make some rules. Set some limits. And stick to them. No matter what. Stop giving yourself permission to veer off. Enough is enough. Time to do the mature, responsible thing, even if you don't want to. Eventually, you'll want to.

09-14-2010, 12:04 PM
I agree with Glory about getting off sugar. That helps immensely.

Pick a plan (calorie counting is a good start, ot low carb like South Beach), and try it for a month, and see how it works for you. You can always change gears or tweak your plan as you go along, but starting and sticking to SOMETHING is the key! Waiting for Monday/the first of the month/Jan 1 is just more wasted days. The best day to start is today :)

You're in good company! You can do this.

09-14-2010, 12:40 PM
What awesome responses! Thank you all so much!

Robin just thank you for the detailed response.

You know its funny how simple something, but yet we make it so hard.

I agree with going cold turkey. I have decided to stop drinking sodas. I hate diet so I will be going with water and will look into some other drink options. The good thing is I love water!

Also fast food. Amazing how many calories and money is blown there!

I realize my husband and I are eating horrible because we are so stressed lately. Its so much easier to eat away the stress. I am going to have to actually learn and start practicing ways to not eat in response to stress.

Also, do you all find that your cravings really do change? How long did it take?

I actually feel my self get irritable when I don't have the junk. Sort of scary huh?

09-14-2010, 01:58 PM
I gave up pop 10 months ago. It was hard at first, but now I don't miss it at all. I drink only water because artificial sweeteners give me migraines. There may be some that don't, but I don't trust them. ;) You CAN get by fine with just water. The only time I've had an issue was at a Red's game! I HATE paying for water. HATE! It was $4.75 for a bottle of flippin' water! I had to have a drink. DH begged me to get pop because he hates paying for water too, but I refused and asked him not to make me feel bad about it. I was not going to ruin 10 months of good work just because the Red's won't allow you to bring in your own water. :(

09-14-2010, 03:10 PM
Also, do you all find that your cravings really do change? How long did it take?

I actually feel my self get irritable when I don't have the junk. Sort of scary huh?

Sorry, I don't remember!

I stopped sugar/junk almost by accident. I had read the book Super Foods Rx: 14 Foods That Will Change Your Life and it was like every star in the universe exploded at once for me. I knew it would work - I started eating as many super foods a day as possible, it was like a fun game. I was so busy concentrating on what TO eat, I didn't even notice what I WASN'T eating (seriously).

Switching from a diet of mostly processed, crap foods to a diet of healthy, whole foods galvanized me with energy. I felt AMAZING. Like...zinging with energy. And of course, I lost weight. At least 5 lbs the first week which inspired me to KEEP GOING.

It was only...I don't know...2 months later? That I realized my cravings were gone. I remember exactly the moment. I was sitting at Qdoba. I had ordered a healthy bowl and was by the cash register waiting to pay. There were these chocolate chip cookies by the cash register. In the past, I always got one, I loved cookies! But I looked at the cookies and it was like "eh, cookies, they taste pretty good, but you know, I don't need one."

HOLY CRAP. I was free. I didn't even know I had been in prison, but I was free.

Sure, in the past 6 years, I have occasionally eaten off plan. I'm human, not perfect. But I am CONSISTENT and I am basically craving-free and I am happy.

09-14-2010, 03:16 PM
It took me about 2 weeks off of sugar for the cravings to diminish. I can't say that they were completely gone by then, but almost! It was a rough two weeks but well worth it.

09-14-2010, 04:59 PM
Aw sweetie! I think that you are going through what many of us have gone through. I recently have been on the gaining end and it isn't fun. I start to make myself feel bad about the gain, that I psych myself into thinking I'll never lose again and I should quit! Well that would be wrong wouldn't it?! Keep going. You will find a way to manage to keep the weight off, think of these setbacks as trials to prove how much you want to be healthy. You can do it and keep it off!