100 lb. Club - I HATE food...I really do....




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PinkHoodie
09-14-2010, 01:42 AM
Exercise is SO easy for me. When I get on a routine with it, its really not that hard for me to hit the gym in the morning. But food is another story. And since its 95% of weight loss, that does not equal good things. I have tried everything in the book. I have tried cold turkey, gradually cutting it out, talking myself out things, enlisting the help of others, writing up contracts, and so many other things to many to count. Nothing helps. Even telling myself no.
I am at my wits end. Do I need counseling? I just don't know what to try next...I really am at my wits end. :?::(


Lyn2007
09-14-2010, 02:37 AM
How about counting calories? Then you can have what you like in moderation.

Teresa66
09-14-2010, 05:58 AM
You don't have to give up food. You have to give up bad food. Food that is loaded with saturated fat and sugar. You have to eat whole wheat grains, low fat dairy and cheese, lean meats, delicious and naturally sweet fruit, and all the veggies you want. Learn to incorporate spices and use healthy ways of cooking. No frying!

I can't give up food. I love food. I love to cook and eat food. What I'm finally getting into my head is that this isn't a diet. This isn't about depriving yourself. It's about loving yourself and making your health the number one priority in your life. If you think of eating for good health then your weight loss is going to follow suit.

I'm also big on counting calories right now. I NEED that accountability. I have a 1500 calorie a day limit (and your needs to be what works for you) and I try very hard to stay true to my caloric limit.

I know it's hard and every day since I recommitted myself to finally getting the weight off, I worry about failing. But I can't fail! And you can't either. :hug:


Shmead
09-14-2010, 07:21 AM
Is it hunger or is it "oh-god-that-looks-good"?

If it's hunger, you might try messing around with macro-nutrients--I notice you, like me, have PCOS, and I've found limiting carbs, especially simple carbs, and upping my protein helped a lot. Also, if it's hunger, you might try BULK. You can eat a mixing bowl full of salad. You can eat a POUND of carrots, or an entire head of cabbage. Experiment with bulk and see if that helps.

If it's "oh-god-that-looks-good", you've got to find on-plan foods that you really, truly enjoy. I have a terrible, terrible sweet tooth, and so I use Equal like it's going out of style: right now I am eating a big bowl of cottage cheese packed with equal and cinnamon and ginger. It tastes like ice cream. When I started this, I ate an entire package (2 cups!) of sugar free instant pudding everyday. Made with skim milk, it wasn't that many calories, and it gave me the feeling of having a real desert that filled me up. I also love the other things I eat. Finding healthy things you really love to eat takes time and experimentation, but when you get it all together it really, really helps.

rockinrobin
09-14-2010, 07:23 AM
Exercise is SO easy for me. When I get on a routine with it, its really not that hard for me to hit the gym in the morning. But food is another story. And since its 95% of weight loss, that does not equal good things. I have tried everything in the book. I have tried cold turkey, gradually cutting it out, talking myself out things, enlisting the help of others, writing up contracts, and so many other things to many to count. Nothing helps. Even telling myself no.
I am at my wits end. Do I need counseling? I just don't know what to try next...I really am at my wits end. :?::(

Know that you DO have the ability to lose the weight. We all do. It's not some hare brained, crazy, out of this world scheme. We all are capable of it. Yourself included.

Eating well, adhering to a healthy life style is nothing to fear, nothing to loathe. Remaining obese IS. So, you need to fear and loathe it (remaining obese).

At some point, you will have to come to the conclusion that all that *food* comes at too high of a price. That the consequences are just too high.

At some point your desire to be thin, healthy, fit and active will have to outweigh, overtake and overpower the desire for all that food.

At some point you will have to come to terms that you just can't have it both ways - the high calorie, high quantity food and be the optimal you.

At some point you will have to recognize that you DO have the power over this. That it IS within your control. That being overweight is a choice. That getting slim is a choice. And you are the one that gets to choose.

At some point you will have to realize that it's okay to tell yourself no. That you don't have to give into a craving or a desire or a want. You will have to stop worrying about your immediate gratification and look to your long term satisfaction.

At some point, you'll have to change what you want. The foods that you're eating, the way that you're living.

At some point you will have to change your relationship with food. You can't use it for times of anger, loneliness, boredom, stress, happiness, joy.

At some point you will have to stop focusing on what you are giving up and focus on what you are GAINING.

At some point you will just have to do the mature, responsible, adult thing and make mature, responsible decisions.

At some point you will have to realize that all work, effort, time, devotion, persistence and dedication that this requires is incredibly worth it and to not do it would be ludicrous.

At some point you will just have to suck it up and get past the uncomfortable moments of changing your bad habits and incorporating the new ones in. There WILL be uncomfortable moments - initially, temporarily.

At some point you will have to raise your standards and require more from yourself. And stop settling for foods that just taste good. You'll need them to taste good and BE good for you; long after your done chewing.

At some point you will have to challenge yourself and really, really push yourself. You'll have to give it 150 percent. You'll have to push and push. Reaching, stretching, striving, growing, prospering.

At some point you'll have to realize that eating well, adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no prison sentence. But a ticket to freedom. That will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine. Ones you didn't even realize were closed.

At some point you will have to say, enough is enough. I'm not going to take this another minute. I'm done being fat. That it can't possibly be as hard to lose the weight as it is to remain morbidly obese. Choosing your hard.

At some point you will have to decide to do this, once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what.

At some point you'll have to set yourself up for success. Get rid of the junk. Make a plan, make a plan, make a plan. Plan, plan and than plan some more. Plan out your food schedule in advance, knowing where each and every bite is coming from AHEAD OF TIME. Much easier to stick to a plan when you've got one. Write down each and every morsel that goes into your mouth before it goes in that said mouth. No matter what. It doesn't go into your mouth before you write it down. Be firm. Make some boundaries, make some rules. Set some limits. And stick to them. No matter what. Stop giving yourself permission to veer off. Enough is enough. Time to do the mature, responsible thing, even if you don't want to. Eventually, you'll want to.

Eliana
09-14-2010, 09:26 AM
I think I've mentioned this before, but I think the struggle you are having with food comes from the aspect that you are thinking of it in terms of DENIAL instead of actively DOING something. If you can re-wire that thought, I think you'll be in a better place. Try to think of yourself (and actually DO it) as eating more vegetables. When you do that, there won't be room in your belly for the junk. Actively prepare your snacks. Actively watch the clock and eat every 2-3 hours to make sure you are not hungry.

Hunger is the enemy. It's not that you can't stay away from the foods you shouldn't have. Figure out the root cause for why you are having this difficulty. If you are addicted to sugar like so many of us are, cut them out! It will be hard for three days...you can get through three days. ;) And you can fight it with the suggestions above.

matt_H
09-14-2010, 10:39 AM
I've cut and pasted Robin's response into a word document so I can save it on my computer. :)

Thank you Robin for the support and encouragement you give to others!

Glory87
09-14-2010, 11:06 AM
We are the exact opposite. I hate to exercise and my food is probably 95% on plan. Let's meld into one SUPER WEIGHT LOSS MACHINE!

Wonder Twin powers...ACTIVATE!

myfishpajamas
09-14-2010, 11:10 AM
OP, I am right there with you. I just had the best workout ever this morning, and it wasn't difficult for me to go at all. I didn't have to talk myself out of lying in bed or anything. And it's usually like that. I look forward to going to the gym.

Food, on the other hand...it seems that everything I crave is awful for me. And, on-campus at college, it is so difficult sometimes to keep right on walking by that Port City Java with their delicious scones, muffins, and cookies. But immediately after devouring one or two of those items, I feel guilty and miserable. Knowing that I will feel that way, helps me to avoid those temptations and focus on the goal ahead. I'm just starting and losing 100+lbs seems like an impossible feat, but only I and my decisions and actions will make it impossible.

That's what you have to realize. You have a choice in the food you eat and that choice impacts your long-term happiness. Right choices are difficult to make, but, in the long-term, you will be rewarded for it. So just hang in there!

Also, I started calorie counting today, and, so far, it has been helpful to know exactly how much and what to cut out and what can stay. One thing I do to calm my sweet tooth is buy 100calorie packs of brownies, cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, etc. and then have one per day with my lunch. I save that 100 calories for that indulgence. There are things to be done to help you still be satisfied with what you're eating.

Good luck!

PinkHoodie
09-14-2010, 12:20 PM
Wow! Yet again great advice! And Glory....oh man I got a chuckle out of that!! Robin your post was amazing as always!
Here is what I'm struggling with. I do eat healthy when it comes to MEALS. I plan all of my meals ahead of time. I'm usually pretty great about sticking with them. Its the "oh I want a chocolate bar." Or "I feel like a McFlurry." And there is no telling myself NO. Honestly I will sit there for hours and hours telling myself NO. But I will eventually ask DH and he will just go get it for me. Total enabler right? But at the same time I can't expect him to have control for me....
Honestly counting calories is out for me. I make homemade meals, and while I tried the counting calories thing for awhile I just know that I won't sit there and measure what I just made and figure out the calories. Yes I am that lazy. But maybe the 100 calorie packs would help. At least that way I would feel like I am getting a "treat" but its very calorie controlled.
I guess like I said I am just at odds about what to exactly try next. I feel like I don't have self-control....I know I do, and that I am the one in control of these decisions. But when it comes down to it in a pinch I am not making the right ones.
I hope this is making sense! LOL

Glory87
09-14-2010, 12:26 PM
Have you tried healthy delicious home made snacks?

Like...if you're craving a McFlurry, could you take a couple of graham crackers, smear some whipped cream between them and freeze it? It's even better with 5-6 mini chocolate chips sprinkled between the layers. It's delicious and less than 200 calories. A perfect, guiltless treat. I make them one at a time, it takes about 30 minutes to freeze so I can't just keep eating them.

I also looove to take a 50 calorie La Tortilla factory tortilla, smear it with 1-2 tbs of natural peanut butter and nuke it for 20 seconds. Then, I roll it around a ripe banana. I swear, it is the BEST.

Think of your habits like grooves on a record. You MUST lift the needle and make a new groove.

As far as counting calories on home made food - estimate. Just get to the nearest 100. I use calorie counting to stay accountable, not to make myself nutso!

Eliana
09-14-2010, 01:54 PM
I have one food craving, and that is chocolate. If I deny myself chocolate I want/eat chips, random candy, cake, apples, celery, etc...until I cave in and just eat the chocolate! I could eat 600 calories in HEALTHY stuff whereas if I just had the 100 calories of measured out chocolate chips, I'd have been a whole lot better off! I can't stop thinking about food until I've had the chocolate. So I just have the chocolate.

Can you narrow it down to one must-have like that? I know a lot of people for whom that does NOT work, but it works really well for me. Most say you get off those snack cravings by eliminating them and suffering through the hard part for just a few days. It really does get easier. I've done it. I can get off my chocolate need when I really want to. It works.

So your meals are planned...what about planning your snacks?

PinkHoodie
09-14-2010, 05:26 PM
Most of my snacks are pretty planned too. I try to trick myself out of the cravings by having water in case I'm thirsty, nuts, string cheese....but then I will start begging DH for something, and he eventually gives in and there is just no telling myself no...
It really just sounds like I'm making excuses, and really I am. I'm honestly just at a loss as to what to try though. But you guys have given me some things to ponder on and try. I just hate this hold that food has on me! I really, really do!!

bythenumbers
09-14-2010, 08:12 PM
I've cut and pasted Robin's response into a word document so I can save it on my computer. :)

Thank you Robin for the support and encouragement you give to others!

ME too!!!
Thanks!

Glory87
09-14-2010, 08:18 PM
Most of my snacks are pretty planned too. I try to trick myself out of the cravings by having water in case I'm thirsty, nuts, string cheese....but then I will start begging DH for something, and he eventually gives in and there is just no telling myself no...
It really just sounds like I'm making excuses, and really I am. I'm honestly just at a loss as to what to try though. But you guys have given me some things to ponder on and try. I just hate this hold that food has on me! I really, really do!!

Okay, I don't really get why your husband is your food procurer (why can't YOU go get yourself a McFlurry?) but let's roll with that as a positive.

Right now -get a piece of paper and write out a note addressed to YOU why weight loss is more important than food. Brief, like 1-2 powerful sentences. Give it to your husband to fold up and put in his wallet.

Tell him, that at this moment you are in your right mind and are giving him instructions that will supercede all other instructions. If you beg for an offplan snack, he is to take out YOUR note and read it to you. Fold the note, put the note away and ignore your requests.

rockinrobin
09-14-2010, 09:39 PM
I am. I'm honestly just at a loss as to what to try though.

I have tried everything in the book.

Honestly counting calories is out for me. I make homemade meals, and while I tried the counting calories thing for awhile I just know that I won't sit there and measure what I just made and figure out the calories. Yes I am that lazy

Have you tried calorie counting - giving it 150 percent? Have you tried sitting there and measuring? Have you tried NOT being lazy.

Have you tried starting your own accountability thread and posting what you eat every single day? No matter what?

Have you tried not putting anything in your mouth till it goes on paper first? No matter what.

Have you tried looking for reasons that you can and should do this, instead of looking for reasons why you can't do this.

Have you taken a "I'm going to do this" attitude, "whatever it takes, I'm going to push myself and push myself'?

At least that way I would feel like I am getting a "treat" but its very calorie controlled.

Have you tried re-thinking what a treat is? Instead of cakes, cookies, ice cream, etc - how about a fat free yogurt, which you partially freeze, adding in some Fiber One cereal - one of my favorite *treats*. I eat several of them a day. Or a big bowl of veggie soup. A veggie stir fry. Blueberries. A baked apple with sugar free maple syrup, walnuts, and raisins, a poached pear. 20 calorie hot chocolate. Have you tried being super creative, thinking outside the box?

And then there's the true treats. It sounds as if you're afraid of giving up *treats*. I don't mean to be insensitive here, but why aren't you concerned with all the treats that you are giving up by remaining obese? - treats that last all day long and into the night. Not ones that just last for a few minutes. That would be the treat of being a healthy weight. The treat of great doctors visits. The treat of accomplishment. The treat of added energy, stamina, vitality, self confidence, self worth, self respect. The treat of being light and free and not having to worry about fitting into chairs and tight spaces. The treat of having a FABULOUS, extensive wardrobe and playing dress up every single day of the year. The treat of being the very best you possible and living up to your full potential. The treat of knowing that you have done all you can on your part to stave off some horrific, debilitating and deadly diseases. The treat of collarbones and hip bones and muscles. The treat of walking up a flight of stairs without getting winded. The treat of less worries and more joy. :)

JHM2009
09-14-2010, 09:57 PM
I know exactly what you mean...giving in to the pure desire of wanting that McFlurry (so much that it's all you've thought about for hours) and you've eaten four cookies in the meantime to make up for not eating the McFlurry in the first place.

I hate food too! But, I really love food. Somehow, I have to make food mean less to me and approach eating with a healthy mind set. It's easier said than done and I've tried and tried and tried so many times. I do great then fall off the wagon with a deafening thud. I also am great at telling myself "I'll start tomorrow...I'm going to eat this one more time then tomorrow I'll be perfect!" If I only lost an ounce for every time I've said that to myself...I'd be my goal weight, I'm sure!

I decided to do something I have never done before and didn't know much about until recently. A week ago, I saw a doctor who is starting a weight management program using meal replacements. We talked about different options and we talked A LOT about my behaviors, triggers, responses to food, etc. and decided that the path for me would be replacing meals for a while with liquid nutrition (shakes, soups, puddings that you purchase from the office).

I am on day 6 and I am hungry but I am not obsessing about food for once in my life and it feels good. I don't have to think about it for a while and that feels really good. Now, that being said, one cannot (or should not) live on these meal replacements forever. The program requires therapy - nutrition, behavioral and fitness. In a few short weeks I'll be replacing the meal replacements with regular food. I have a lot of work to do before that time comes! I have come to realize that I need to understand why food plays such a major role in my life and how I can control food, instead of food controlling me.

The doctor also said something that made sense to me: "You will fall off track. Everyone falls off track. We can't be perfect all the time...it's just not going to happen. It's how long you stay off track that matters." The goal is to develop tools and strategies for realizing when I'm off track and closing the gap between being off track and getting back on. Instead of allowing the free-fall into self-indulgence, and adopting the "tomorrow" attitude, I need to learn to move on and leave the bad behavior behind.

I am excited, encouraged, scared, and did I mention hungry?? But, most of all, I feel like I'm in control again. I have my first group therapy session tomorrow and am looking forward to hearing from others who are going through this too.

I didn't post to convince anyone to try this type of diet...just to empathize! I know this love / hate relationship with food and know how hard it is.

Justwant2Bhealthy
09-14-2010, 10:26 PM
ROBIN ~ Oh, I so loved your responses here tonight; and am keeping them for future reference as well. I made a wrong choice today -- but you slapped my hand with your words, so I will do better next time and listen to my intuition which did warn me to make that lunch ahead just in case ... :dizzy:


GLORY ~ Love that idea -- I am going to do the note thing with my DH too becuz I did the exact same thing today ... and have been so annoyed with myself ever since. Back on track for dinner and onward ho ... :D


PINK HOODIE ~ I think we ask our S/O's to go buy junk for us to deflect the blame away from ourselves ... but we are really just sabotaging ourselves!!! Just continue on, and guestimate the calories and you will be OK; and ...

Maybe saying "NO" to yourself is your nemesis ... try saying "YES" to yourself ... yes, I can have a nuked apple with cinnamon & NSA maple syrup ... yes, I can have no sugar chocolate pudding ... yes, I can have a pita pizza ... yes, I can have a yummy lemon yogurt with a tbl chopped nuts ... yes, I can have an ounce of dark chocolate ... yes, I can have a granola fiber bar for a snack ... yes, I can have my favorite family dinner that is lean and healthy ...

And yes, like the previous poster says, you will make mistakes like I did today, but you will get better at it with time. Don't give up just becuz you had one McFlurry or whatever you gave in to; keep on, keepin' on for the rest of the day, week, month and you will get and be healthier ... :hug:

Trazey34
09-14-2010, 10:38 PM
i vote for the therapy! It saved my life. I was a spoiled brat when it came to food ***oooh something delicious i must have it, i'm awesome so i should be able to eat THREE of them *** LOL i'm not even kidding! I'm a psychologist by profession so I believe in therapy but I couldn't do it myself. THAT was very hard to admit. So I went to someone I could trust, talked about life and what i want from it, what my patterns and habits were etc., and I basically beat that little snotty brat into submission ;) My hat's off to those who can do this whole thing without addressing the underlying causes, but it never worked for this girl, that's for sure! I committed to a 'diet' almost every monday of my adult life and where'd it get me?? 300 plus pounds that's where :( Who'da thunk TALKING helped me lose weight more than eating/exercise combined! woot!

Justwant2Bhealthy
09-14-2010, 10:54 PM
TRAZEY ~ I believe that -- and wish that there were more food or ED therapists out there to talk to ... our family was very poor and their idea of a reward was to "TREAT" ourselves with our favorite junk foods ... not a good idea at all ... and I watched my mother "console" and "reward" herself with chips & dip & pop & ice cream that she had hidden in a secret stash ... my parents even had a special little room for this ... :dizzy:

Like ROBIN says, I have to find better "treats" ... ones that will reward me with good health!

Rosinante
09-15-2010, 03:30 AM
I'm from a family where food was a reward, usually very sugary stuff; also a consolation; also a way of showing love, withholding love, a weapon(I made this for you specially and you're not eating it).

The way I have control of it now is the 'not eating it 'til I've written it' route. With logging it electronically, there were times in the early days when I'd write it, find that took me over the limit, so I didn't eat it. Somehow, the planning and the logging has given me the power - I honestly can't remember the last time I had a craving. 114 days on plan.

At first, I measured happiness by the scale; then by the few clothes that began to fit better. Now I measure happiness because when I see myself in the mirror, I stop and look again: my face has emerged from its chinstrap of fat; in clothes I look good; picking up on another thread this morning, I carry myself better - at a family party (lunch! see, food for everything!) I even wore a pair of mild heels for the first time in years (with a couple of large pain killers to keep the neuroma at bay). That sort of craving has become the norm for me.

The only wait to this and beyond to goal, though, comes from hours, days, weeks of diligent groundwork. It's like having to learn to play scales on the piano before you can play a piece properly. Choosing between Chopin or Chopsticks.

Good luck!

rockinrobin
09-18-2010, 04:56 AM
Hey there Pink Hoodie. You've gotten quite a bit of responses after your last post on this thread. And I was just hoping you got some perspective and some ideas and what you thought of them. I was curious to know how you are doing. I hope it is well. :)

ValRock
09-18-2010, 05:21 AM
I hate food too. I had to flip my relationship with it completely upside down. Food will not make me happy. Food will not pay my bills. Eating a *fill in the blank* will not help me DO ANYTHING in my life that's worth doing. The momentary pleasure of eating that THING is not worth the long term guilt or pounds.

Food is fuel. You eat food so your body can function, take you places, help you accomplish your goals. I don't eat food to reward myself. I don't eat food to feel pleasure. There are other things in life that I can use for that (that won't make me fat).

It's hard. It's not fun... but at the end of the day you HAVE to gain some power over your food. I don't eat anything that's not going to feed my body and add to my health. The benefit is no longer there for me.

Some people think I'm missing out... but eh. I was missing out by letting myself become morbidly obese. I'd rather miss out in this way any day!!!

The McFlurry is SOO SO SO SOOOO not worth it!

ETA: Not to say that all I eat is boiled chicken breast and raw veggies... My food is delicious, don't get me wrong! It's just not the same empty crap I was eating before.