General chatter - If you were a man for a day . . .




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Robsia
09-11-2010, 05:51 PM
If you were a man for a day, what would you do?

Had an idea for a song and thought I'd throw it out to a wider audience to get a few more ideas than I could come up with on my own. I'm thinking along the lines of semi-erotic "I kissed a girl and I liked it" kind of thing. But anything is good - funny stuff and weird stuff.


Shopaholic1204
09-12-2010, 02:54 PM
If I were a man for a day, I'd adjust myself often. Haha!!

PapayaMule
09-12-2010, 03:25 PM
I know this is a bit of a boring answer, but I think it'd just be nice to go for a walk in the countryside alone without feeling vulnerable.

I'll go away now and think of a dirty answer :)


AZ Sunrises
09-12-2010, 06:12 PM
I would pee on a tree, bush, or tire just to see why it's a big deal. Belch loudly because I'd get eye rolls instead of disgust. I'd play helicopter with "it" and flip it in circles. I'd finally know how it feels to be interested in anything with a pulse.

Windchime
09-12-2010, 06:17 PM
I'd be as brave and outspoken as I wish, without worrying about what people would think of me because women shouldn't give their opinions so freely but it seems to be OK for men. And I wouldn't worry about whether or not my shirt was too tight across my chest.

lauralyn
09-13-2010, 07:41 AM
My sisters and I always joked around that if we had a "tool" we would never leave the house. :o :devil:

dcapulet
09-13-2010, 07:56 AM
My sisters and I always joked around that if we had a "tool" we would never leave the house. :o :devil:

That's my answer too.

Also, I would want to get kicked in the nuts, just once, to see if men just exaggerate about the pain.

SeaWave
09-13-2010, 08:41 AM
I love the answers so far... so funny, and so true! I have to go think about this, because my first thought was "I'd wish I were a woman" !:D

Ruthxxx
09-13-2010, 08:48 AM
I'd tackle my To Do list and get all the stuff done that a man could do more easily than I can. Moving the wood pile comes to mind.

shcirerf
09-13-2010, 11:38 AM
HIarious!

Spit, pick my nose, scratch, fart, holler for more beer and nachos so I don't miss a play, strut, pose, flex, not worry if my pants made my butt look big, only think about 2 things, sex and food!

saef
09-13-2010, 11:51 AM
You've just reminded me of a book that I've always meant to get around to reading, called "D&*%^$ck for a Day."

http://www.amazon.com/Dick-Day-What-Would-You/dp/0679773533

I'd take my supervisor at work aside in a conference room, brag about all I've accomplished, tell her I planned to support a wife & children on my salary, and demand an enormous raise, which I believe would be granted. Then I'd apply for another higher-paying job in my company.

I would also become fixated on stereos & electronic components, buy a newer car, and grunt a lot more in the gym while working out.

I would throw out all my makeup & hair care products & never spend a dime on a scented candle ever again.

Aunty Jam
09-13-2010, 01:08 PM
I'd write my name in the snow :)

Beach Patrol
09-13-2010, 03:43 PM
I'd jerk off. (can I say that here????) :rofl:

ThicknPretty
09-13-2010, 05:52 PM
I'd make a point to make as many references to my package as possible in conversation. You know, the usual, suck my ______, get off my ______, b*7w me, etc. I've always been envious of the sarcastic, vulgar but rather entertaining things men can say about their privates and how they can work it into every situation. Lol, I know, I'm weird.

BlueFlower
09-13-2010, 06:39 PM
I'd hang out with other guys to hear what they really say when no women are around. I'd record it because no one would believe me. :gossip:

I camp a lot, I'd so love to just pee on a tree...:dancer:

Fressca
09-13-2010, 07:00 PM
I don't think I want to be a man for a day... but this is a funny thread :lol:

All the talk of checking out your package and peeing on a tree or in the snow reminds me of the Seinfeld "Hamptons" episode, when George wants Jerry to tell Elaine about shrinkage, and she says "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things..."
:D

saef
09-13-2010, 10:43 PM
Problem is, I'm so indecisive, I wouldn't know whether to dress left or dress right.

EZMONEY
09-13-2010, 11:10 PM
Also, I would want to get kicked in the nuts, just once, to see if men just exaggerate about the pain.

:yikes::stars::faint: ABSOLUTELY NOT! :faint::stars::yikes:

Oh, and it is nice to be able to take your "tool" to work with you :yes:

suetalks
09-14-2010, 07:26 PM
I would develop the "selective hearing" that all men seem to have, leave my clothes all over the house for someone else to pick up, leave the toilet seat up and lay on the sofa with my hand down the front of my pants.

*disclaimer: this is NOT my hubby...*

BillBlueEyes
09-14-2010, 08:45 PM
I'd leave the toilet seat up!

Clearly there's gotta be come carnal appeal given the consistency with which men do it.




[Oh wait, I am a man; never mind.]

RockingBird
09-14-2010, 08:52 PM
Can we pick which guy we could be, LMAO?
If I was somebody I'd be attracted to... well I'd be spending a lot of time by myself, if you know what I mean..

If I wasn't, I'd probably go out and make a big fool out of myself. :)

CanadianCutie
09-14-2010, 10:58 PM
Saef, I had that book. It was awesome. A friend borrowed it, and I never got it back. grrrrrr.

Jelbelle
09-15-2010, 03:03 AM
I suppose I would have sex...right? o.o I mean...so I could say that I've experienced it from a male and a female perspective, and I could judge who had it better =p

And I would go to a lot of stores and try on clothes of all kinds. I wonder if those jeans that hang really baggy in the back are comfy? Because a lot of them do it. And also try those ball-clenching jeans. And I would go to a rock concert and crowd surf! I don't know why, but it seems like I would be a lot less self-conscious to crowd surf if I was a boy.

OH! and I would walk around in public with my shirt off. That's something I can safely say I've never done before.

katkitten
09-15-2010, 10:45 AM
i would jerk off too lol

eroica27
09-16-2010, 05:38 PM
I'd jerk off. (can I say that here????) :rofl:

Bwahahahhah!!!!! i really needed that laugh!

Kriket84
09-16-2010, 09:09 PM
My sisters and I always joked around that if we had a "tool" we would never leave the house. :o :devil:

DH says the same about breasts if he were a woman! I think having a member would be more fun ;)

I would
1. Take my helmet off after a race and enjoy not having to field the "oh, good time, for L stock" (L= Ladies class)
2. pee on something
3. maybe go to a strip club and see if it's more fun
4. chin-ups
5. walk around shirtless
6. job hunt, to see if I get asked if I have children
7. wear a tux

I think that's it :) pretty full day, if I can get out of the house ;)

beerab
09-17-2010, 01:26 PM
lol what does this say about men? I wonder what guys would do if they could be a woman for a day?

I'd do all of the above.

westernsoutherngirl
09-17-2010, 01:41 PM
I would definitely pee on a tree! and then I WOULD WALK AROUND AND ACT LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!! Cuz to me that is the male take on life!

ThicknPretty
09-17-2010, 03:02 PM
I would also like to chime in again and say have sex! I didn't think of it till someone else mentioned it. Wouldn't that be fascinating...I've always wondered what exactly it feels like. They seem like they enjoy it...so much.

leopardspots
09-17-2010, 05:04 PM
I would say whatever thought popped in my mind and no one would call me a *****, just "assertive." I'd make someone else clean the bathroom for once!

Joplin
09-17-2010, 05:20 PM
Then I would REALLY know what it feels like to be the weaker sex. LOL

Wysteria
09-17-2010, 06:04 PM
I'd go out and drive the way I normally do, and then see if people accuse me of driving like a woman, because I've been told I drive like a man o.o Not sure if that's a compliment or not!

60lbstogo
09-17-2010, 06:07 PM
I would have sex or... do some manual labor :lol: to find out how male orgasms are. And I'd look at boobs just to learn why men are so obsessed with them...

Fawnie
09-18-2010, 05:27 PM
I would run around screaming "look at me i'm a real boy!"