08-28-2010, 03:48 PM
So TOM started yesterday, I was doing fine foodwise, though I was moody and felt like crap all day. I tried to go to bed early but couldn't sleep, so I got up and proceeded to eat a bunch of crap. I ate chips, pop, chocolate, and even Hot Pockets (yuck!). Well, this morning I woke up, and of course the scale went up with the poor choices and water retention, and I just generally felt pretty crappy because of the crappy food I put in myself. But here's where the NSV comes in: I didn't feel guilty. My choices were poor last night, but they were still CHOICES. It wasn't something I couldn't control, everything I put in my mouth was a conscious decision. And this morning, there was none of the guilt associated with a binge, I think because it was something that I made the choice to do. I just thought to myself "That was sure stupid. Time to work harder." And I don't feel the need to continue to eat that way. I hope this makes sense to those of you reading this, that you understand why this is an NSV. It seems like such a change. Before I had no control over what I ate, and I felt would feel guilty after a binge and keep eating horrid stuff to drown those feelings of guilt. I feel like I'm able to make conscious decisions about what I'm eating now, regardless of whether they're good or bad, and that I can stand back and evaluate those choices without being clouded by emotions. So for me, this is a victory.