I've spent most of my time being overweight hating myself. And while I know I've lost a ton of weight and I know I look better, but all I see is a fatass every time I look at myself.
The comments that people made to me while I was overweight stuck with me ... "You look like a beached whale" and I still feel like I look like a beached whale.
So much hard work, and 83lbs lost and I just want to throw in the towel. I try to tell myself how close I am, that another 20lbs lost and I'll be liking myself so much more, but I'm not sure that's the truth.
I need to stop this self loathing, I really need to be more confident and love who I am. I give this illusion off to others, but it's not really how I feel inside.
They tell me: "Oh you look so amazing. You're doing such a good job." and then later all I do is cry, because I don't see me looking amazing. I just see a disgusting blob in the mirror who I very well may never like.
Help me. Someone please tell me they've felt the same way and they got over it.
Felt the exact same way, still do some days.
Cliche as it is, it really is all about what's on the inside to get the self love that you're looking for.
I know its hard, but focus on the things you love about yourself now, be it physical, emotional, personality traits . . . anything. Make a list of them and keep it with you.
There are a lot of books you can read on helping you with self esteem etc, it's worth looking into.
I can tell you right now that I already can see you are a determined person - you've lost 83 lbs lady! You have strength, grace and perceverance (sp) You can tell you're an intelligent, carring person . . . . there you go, list is already started
I really do know how you feel, and I know it feels pointless and silly, might even feel useless or it wont work (But how many times in this journey have you come acorss that feeling and pushed passed it?)
((hugs)) to you and a great big KUDOS cause you deserve it!!
I'm SO glad I found this because I can relate. I got these really cute new jeans (you know the kind with the pockets that make everybody's rear end look super cute?) and I wore them and my aunt said "You look skinny, you're getting so skinny!" And I actually felt like major crap after that. I appreciate the comments so much but I, for the life of me, cannot see what other people are seeing.
I don't have advice but I just wanted to let you know that I can relate and that lots of people, probably near everyone on this website losing weight, can relate with how you feel
First off, to you. I know what it's like to loathe oneself. It's not fun to hate your own reflection. For me, it's not constant, but I go through these kinds of periods. Luckily, there are times when I'm huge and don't feel huge at all....but on the flip side, there are times when I'm thin and feel very, VERY large. What is the point of all this? A lot of our feelings are not real.....our mind plays tricks on us. Sometimes, we are our own worst critics and our own worst enemies. Try to find something you do like about yourself and focus on that? Maybe practice daily affirmations.......as foreign or silly as that might feel.....it's sort of like when you fake a smile and the endorphins are still released in your body as if you were smiling, making you happy.....the affirmations might make you believe in what you're saying to yourself. Change the negative messages in your head and eventually, it will become more natural. Either way, please don't give up now....after you've come this far. Why not see how you feel once you get closer to goal? You might be pleasantly surprised! If not, maybe you could talk to someone about your situation? More
I'm having a really hard time right now with this same thing.
BunnythesAiNT i know exactly what you mean. People lately have been calling me skinny or saying i dont kneed to lose anymore and instead of taking it as a compliment I get really upset. I almost feel like their patronizing me. I dont think i have any idea what i look like in relation to other people. I constantly want to ask people "am i thinner then her?" when I'm out in a crowd but i dont b/c i talk about weight way too much and i'm afraid my friends are gonna think i'm crazy.
One thing you should know to alleviate your concerns about your self image. Almost everyone including celebrity stars carry negative self image of them, however, in varying degrees. Indeed, nobody is perfect. However, people overcome their negative self image with building self confidence, and feeling heightened optimism, and enthusiastic about life.
To overcome your shyness or low self image, associate yourself with people with positive attitude and see the world differently. And bring your inward rather than worrying about other's opinion of you. Within no time, you will overcome your self induced low self image and turn yourself into brighter person. Just change of perspective is necessary.
If possible, I will PM you the link to download a practical Eight-ways Happiness guide to change your life for better.
This is the best advice, I think. I get through my days by focusing on what I do like about myself, and by remembering that my weight loss isn't to make other people like me, or to worry about what they think of me. It's all about how I feel about myself, and I try to feel good about me. I hope that works for you!
Thank you so much for all the responses, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I've tried so hard to focus on the things that I love about myself, but some how when it comes down to it, I'm able to cut myself down so quickly that I just can't believe the words I tell myself.
It's something I've tried so hard to fix but I constantly struggle with it. I just can't believe people when they compliment me, and it makes me think about all the things I don't like about myself.
Audrina I know how you feel. I have been at various weights all over the scale. I've not always been overweight, but am now. But I am determined . I'm working very hard to get healthy again, but sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder "is it all really worth it"? the answer for me and you is YES!!!!! That image in the mirror is just that...an image. The REAL YOU is inside, getting stronger and stronger. Hang in there!!!!
Audrina, go to the store. Pick up a couple 40 pound bags of dog food. Throw them in your cart. Push the cart around the store for a few minutes. Really notice how much space it takes up, how heavy it makes your cart, how hard it is to turn corners with 80 pounds of weight in the cart.
You have lost that much weight!! You have taken that much weight off your joints, you don't have to carry it around anymore. If you melted down 80 pounds of butter or lard, think how much space it would take up. You could fill up jar after jar after jar!
You may not be able to see it, but your body is smaller. You don't look the same as you did when you started this journey. You definitely do NOT look like a beached whale, and I don't think you ever did.
Your mental image of yourself has not caught up with your physical state.
Do you have any before and after pics of yourself? You can see so much more clearly in a photo than relying on what you see in the mirror. . .
I am so glad you posted this! I second, third and fourth what everyone else has been saying.
I have INTENSE body dysmophia issues. I can wear a cute skirt and think I look adorable, then glance in the mirror in horror at how fat my legs are. But then when I look at before and after pictures of myself, I cannot believe how much weight I have lost and how different I look.
When people comment, and its always random comments on how much I have lost, I almost don't believe they are telling me the truth or that I look that small. I really do see myself as a whale. I ride the NYC subway all the time, and can easily fit into the "middle" seat with ease, but I almost never take that seat, because I am convinced that I am too big to fit in it, yet every time I have actually gotten up the nerve to sit down, I find myself completely surprised that I fit perfectly and I don't have to squeeze in.
Learning How to Love Yourself...
