100 lb. Club - OT: Asking for prayers for my Dad. Please.
08-24-2010, 12:11 AM
We found out less than two months ago that he has Stage 4 small cell lung cancer. He's gone through one round of chemo but his other ailments have kicked up since then. His diabetes put him in the hospital, so he's to be monitored and given insulin before meals. Plus, now he's in isolation because he's got no immunity. My Mom is with him but they are in the City. My brother and I are ready to go at a moments notice. His cancer is not curable, the chemo is only to extend his life but he's feeling at the moment, not to fight it, he says if living is this hard, it's not worth living. he's in pain and tired. I'm a huge mess emotionally. He's kept this secret and I think he must have suspected because all last winter he was sick and coughing all the time but never went to the doctor. So I've not posted this on my real facebook page as I have a lot of real life people on there that are local, so can you please say a prayer for my Dad.
How do you prepare children for this? My 8 year has been pretty emotional just about the cancer but I know he knows that you can die from cancer and he starts crying if he thinks about it.The 5yo is not so intuned and the 3yo,well he just won't understand. I've trying to be dumbed down honest with them but haven't actually said my Dad would pass, haven't mentioned the possibility yet but i don't know if I should.
08-24-2010, 12:23 AM
Prayers sent up for your dad and your family :hug:
08-24-2010, 12:39 AM
I'm so sorry. I live with my Pampie who is dealing with double lung cancer right now, and I know how awful it is to deal with. (Consequently, he's also dealing with diabetes. It totally blows.)
Your family will be in my family's thoughts! Remember that life/God/The Universe NEVER hands you more than you can deal with. You will make it, even when it feels like you can't.
I'll be thinking about your son.
08-24-2010, 01:08 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. :hug:
08-24-2010, 01:14 AM
Such a very hard situation to deal with ... especially with children who will be affected. My prayers will go out for you dad and your family tonight.
08-24-2010, 02:50 AM
Prayers sent. :hug:
08-24-2010, 07:40 AM
I'm SO very sorry, Donna. My prayers are with all of you. :hug: :hug:
08-24-2010, 08:46 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My son was 7 years old when my Mom died (of colon cancer). I wish I could wave some magic wand to make it easier on all of your family. Everyone reacts differently to loss and to seeing loved ones when they're sick (that was the hardest part for us, was thinking of Mom being in pain). Since his grandfather is already in hospital, your son must know something is going on, and that it's serious.
I can only suggest that you be as honest with your son as you can, and be accepting of whatever reactions he may have.
08-24-2010, 09:05 AM
Sending Prayers your way. :hug:
08-24-2010, 11:37 AM
Keeping your dad and your family in my thoughts.
08-24-2010, 12:20 PM
08-24-2010, 12:24 PM
I'm so sorry. I wish I had some advice to offer regarding the kids but I'm sure I wouldn't have any idea what to do either. I've always thought honesty is the best policy but when it comes to the children, I just don't know if I'd be able to have that conversation either. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Big Hugs and Much Love. xoxo
08-24-2010, 12:26 PM
Thank you. Yes, I'm going to be honest with them. It's just tough finding the words and not breaking down to tell them.
08-24-2010, 12:47 PM
I lost my dad when I was 8, of cancer. It is hard, but easier if you believe they go to Heaven to be with God.
Prayers sent. God bless.
08-24-2010, 08:34 PM
Praying for you and yours.
08-24-2010, 08:43 PM
prayers sent for you and your family:hug:
08-24-2010, 09:44 PM
Praying for your family, that God will give you strength and wisdom at this time.
08-24-2010, 10:19 PM
Thinking thoughts of strength and healing for you and your children. I remember losing my favorite grandma when I was 8 - I remember crying with my mother, in her arms - she was rocking me and we grieved together. It is a really powerful memory and, despite the painful circumstances, is one of the memories when I felt the most loved.
08-24-2010, 11:26 PM
Oh Donna :hug: I'm so sorry.
My Mom has non small cell lung cancer, I'm sure you probably knew about that. At the moment, it's in remission, but we all know what a beast it is, and how quickly it can come back and take you.
When we told the kids, we were just that...totally honest. They know that Mumo won't be here forever, but that we need to enjoy every moment we have together.
My prayers for you, and all of your family.
Nothing takes the pain away. Just try to always love-every moment.
08-25-2010, 12:21 PM
I had a talk with my Mom and Dad last night, my Mom came home because Dad asked her too, so now he's alone. I hate that. He says he's too emotional and I told him he was aloud to be, he said I guess yeah. So made sure I told him I love d him and that we were there for him.
Mom said he was talking wills and eulogy and stuff. Every time I talk to her I end up crying my eyes out. I don't know how to cope because it's this ongoing process. Right now his numbers are looking good and he said he wasn't going to do the chemo again but then he talked to doctor. I guess they gave him too much chemo in his first round and they'll make sure the give him a smaller dosage.
He may be home on Thursday or Friday and go back on Sunday for his chemo. It's so hard to say how everything will play out and I'm not sure about that.
I talked to my oldest and my niece who is the same age and told them the truth, that Grampa was not going to get better from this but that the medicine he's taking now will help him live longer we just don't know how long and that we'll spend as much time with him and make sure he knows he's loved. They took it pretty hard and cried and I held them. They had some pretty insightful things to say and I'm glad that I told them the truth.
I also told them though that Gramma and Uncle (Daddy) aka my brother don't like to talk about the negative and they want to stay positive and that that was good, for all of us to stay positive and say prayers for Grampa.
I didn't talk to my mom or brother about talking to them, it just felt natural and right to do it.
08-25-2010, 01:27 PM
:hug: I am so sorry. Prayers for you and your family.
08-25-2010, 01:38 PM
Sending my thoughts and prayers for your dad.
08-25-2010, 02:28 PM
I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you all. It sounds like you're doing the right things for everyone, but take care of yourself, too.
08-25-2010, 02:43 PM
Keeping your family in my prayers.
08-25-2010, 07:49 PM
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
08-25-2010, 09:10 PM
Prayers, hugs and thoughts to you and your family - especially your dad.
08-25-2010, 10:01 PM
Donna, I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad,you and your family has to go through this battle. Please know that I'm adding my prayers to yours and your friend's here at 3FC. I went through this with my Mom back in 2004. She had stage 4 ovarian cancer. You are doing the right thing to tell the kids. They will sense that something is going if you didn't and it would make them nervous and insecure about the unknown. And, it's okay not to know how to cope right now. It's enough just to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now.