100 lb. Club - Feeling Down
08-20-2010, 04:37 AM
Don't really know where to start with this post. Been pondering it for a few hours and still can't really get straight in my head what is upsetting me.
To try to keep the story short, I had a suitcase in our loft filled with clothes that I outgrew years ago, definitely over 8-9 years before I lost a bit of weight to get pregnant with DD. I got hubby to get it down from the loft a month or so ago and tried several of the items on. A couple fit but most were still too small.
Anyway, fast forward to today, I've only lost about another 4-5lbs since I last tried the clothes on, but I seem to have suddenly gone down another size in clothing and everyone is asking me how much more weight I've lost because I look to have lost a lot more. So I decided to try some of them on again and was ecstatic to find that a several more outfits fit, including one dress that I bought years ago when I lost about 20lbs and used to feel SO sexy in.
The thing is, although they fit and looking in the mirror they looked great, I just didn't FEEL great in them. After gaining and losing over 110lbs, having a baby and then gallbladder surgery 2yrs ago, my body isn't the same as it was all those years ago. My boobs are like deflated saggy bags, although it has improved I still have a bad tummy apron, and I have scars from the surgery. I stood in this dress and although it looked nice, I just knew I wouldn't have the confidence to wear it. I felt like it was obvious my boobs were sagging even with a good bra on, and was paranoid that once I started moving about my tummy apron would be obvious as well.
I am mostly ecstatic about my weight loss, and no matter what happens I wouldn't put the weight back on to avoid the deflated saggy skin, but I just feel really down about this. I would love to wear sexy dresses again but right now I can't see that happening if my apron isn't going to improve A LOT. I know that I have another 15lbs to lose to get me to a healthy BMI so there is definitely still improvement to be made, and after I get to goal I'm planning on hiring a personal trainer for some sessions to see if I can get myself toned up some more, but right now I just feel like I've worked so hard to get to this point, and now I'm here it's not all I hoped for. Does anyone know what I mean?
08-20-2010, 08:33 AM
I see a personal trainer 2x a week for weightlifting and cardio and not only does it help, but I actually like going.
You might want to try some supportive underwear like Spanx and I have an Elomi plunge bra that I just got and really like.
You might want to get new clothes as you can. Different things might be more flattering now and the **new and special** may have worn off some of your things that were in storage.
Anyway, I hope you feel better and good luck!
08-20-2010, 08:45 AM
I'm so sorry you are feeling down. I, being still way above where you were when you STARTED, sorta feel like, "Wow, she's lost 110 lbs and she's feeling down about herself!", but I guess that's just proof that losing weight alone does not result in perfect self-esteem instantly. I think your post is really important for some of us in the earlier stages to understand that our bodies might not be perfect at the end, but we have to work on how we feel about ourselves on the way down!
Now how about some spanx or something to hold in that apron? I may be rocking some ungodly bat-wings when I'm closer to goal (thinking sleeveless and bikinis are never going to happen :o). But what's under the clothes can be camoflaged really well these days! ;)
08-20-2010, 08:59 AM
I think seeing a personal trainer will help a ton because it sounds like that's just what the Doctor ordered. ;) I'm sure you look sexy and fantastic as it is, but once you start getting toned, I bet that confidence will come back. When I was smaller, I loved working out because, even if the weight wasn't coming off like I wanted it to, I felt strong and fit, which lifted my self-confidence. :)
Either way, you are SO awesome, and congratulations on your weight loss. I can't wait to be where you are right now. :)
08-20-2010, 12:17 PM
I feel your pain - of course I am probably older than you lol and have carried my weight for 20+ years and it's definitely taken it's toll. I do know that even in the last few months things have tightened more and I just have to hope they will continue to do so. If not - I still feel 100% better than before and I am still loving the new me. Gotta learn to accept some of those things and I am sure you look better than what you think you do :)
08-20-2010, 12:28 PM
I totally get it. My body at 188 coming down the scale is really nothing like it was on the way up. All the hanging stuff and extra skin and all is so disappointing. It makes me angry at myself. But over time I have come to accept, it is what it is and I will just enjoy the good parts of weight loss. And I went to Kohls where they have some shapewear items that seem to hold the extra stuff tight to your body and make you look smooth. I have only worn them once so far but yes, they WILL make you look way better in a dress.
08-20-2010, 12:32 PM
Okay, can you see me getting on my soapbox?
Love this body that you're in now. Appreciate what it has done for you. Giving birth and having surgery is tough on a womans' body. Give it a break.
Certainly do what you can to tone what's left behind after weight loss. Invest in some undergarments that smooth the apron and help the girls out. I'm a big fan of Spanx myself, they really do wonders for the tummy apron. You might have to try different versions of different brands to find something you like but it's worth it!
Getting down off the soapbox and giving you a big hug. We've all been there and it's tough. But, it's not over yet so hang on to hope, okay?
08-20-2010, 12:40 PM
I can completely understand where you're coming from. I also had a great dress that was still in my closet that I bought for a special occasion when I was about this weight before (before I had my kiddos). I tried it on, it fits, but I don't feel fantastic in it. I'm not drastically shaped different since having kids, but different enough that it's not great for me anymore. And pregnancy changes your boobs, there is just no way around it. I think all moms are there to some extent.
You know what I would suggest (and what I did)? Get rid of those clothes. This is a new you, not a transport back into history. Go find things that flatter your new body, your mommy body, and move forward. Of course, while shopping - spanx are awesome! And toning will definitely help shape you up, and with more muscle underneath, things just sit better :)
08-20-2010, 12:52 PM
Thanks for the advice girls, I really appreciate it, and it's so good to know I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I do have to say in defence of this body of mine, there are certain parts of me that I really am loving seeing emerge, especially my shoulders and arms, and hip bones lol. Although I still have batwings I'm actually starting to get real definition in my shoulders and arms and I love looking at them lol. And when I lay down and feel those hip bones it's amazing to me.
I really am so proud that this body of mine has managed to go through what I've put it through over the years and still be able to do what it does now. I feel stronger than I ever have I think. I have never run in my life til this year and it's just proved to me how wonderful my body really is and what I can do with it if I put my mind to it. Everytime I look in the mirror I see the results of eating healthy and exercising, I guess I'm just focusing on the bits that haven't drastically changed so far.
I'm hopeful that losing another 15lbs+ and then hiring the personal trainer at the gym for some sessions will help improve things, and as I said, I'm not going back to where I was EVER, so I'm just going to have to learn to live with it.
If I decide that a sexy dress is in my future then I will look into the control pants I think, but for now I'm going to enjoy wearing the clothes that do make me feel good I guess.
08-20-2010, 04:39 PM
This is my semi-secret and greatest fear in losing weight. I'm praying that the fact that I'm still young will help.
But I'm so inspired by and proud of you for losing it! *hugs*
08-21-2010, 12:49 AM
Congrats for losing 110 pounds! That is awesome! I also think you should go out and get something new. :)
08-21-2010, 11:58 AM
Your body changes with age and babies. I have a sister that is a size two and has never had a weight problem. she had her daughter ten years ago in her twenties and her body has never been the same. She stayed skinny but her little boobs are just deflated and hang like fried eggs. Yet you would never know when she is dressed. The right foundation garments and style of clothing are important at every size.
08-22-2010, 05:06 PM
My boobs are like deflated saggy bags, although it has improved I still have a bad tummy apron, and I have scars from the surgery. I stood in this dress and although it looked nice, I just knew I wouldn't have the confidence to wear it. I felt like it was obvious my boobs were sagging even with a good bra on, and was paranoid that once I started moving about my tummy apron would be obvious as well.
If the girls look saggy while you're wearing a bra, it's time to get fitted professionally. :) Tummy apron? Psh. Get out the Spanx and forget about it.
No one is perfect, but no one except you and the hubs are going to know what sort of foundation garments are under the dress.