100 lb. Club - Comfort Level with weight loss comments




Lyn2007
08-19-2010, 06:29 PM
I often read posts here about people who are really uncomfortable with anyone commenting on their weight loss. I used to feel that way as well, but for me I think it was because I had *always* regained the weight (and then some) and dreaded seeing people again after they'd commented on my loss. You could always see it in their eyes when they saw you again but said nothing. I hated that.

As I have lost weight this time (for 3 years now), I have finally realized that I am actually going to keep it off. I really believe that. And now, when someone says something to me, I feel very open and happy to talk freely about my weight loss and past weight issues. It's nothing for me to respond to a "wow you've lost weight!" with "Yep, 90 pounds now. I used to not be able to walk halfway down the block, but now I walk a mile or two most days." I don't even mind the up-and-down looks at my body when people say "you can really tell you've lost weight!" I guess on some level, it has become "fact" to me, not "hope" or "wish" and so it just IS and I am totally comfortable with it. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this change of mindset.


time2lose
08-19-2010, 09:41 PM
I am very comfortable with the "You look great." and the "You have lost a lot of weight." comments, but I have only told very close friends how much I have lost. I get uncomfortable when someone asks me how much I have lost. I don't want to advertise my top weight!

LitChick
08-19-2010, 09:47 PM
I have never lost anywhere near this much weight and hope to God I never have to experience gaining it all back. I honestly admire the strength of those like you who have the perseverance to lose it again. I think I would give up.

Anyway, the way I react to comments depends on my mood, the person making the comment and the comment itself. Sometimes I love hearing them, sometimes I feel uncomfortable. Either way, I am looking forward to the day when my weight is not a topic of conversation and I'm just 'me'!


Aclai4067
08-19-2010, 10:23 PM
I've never minded the comments, and in fact was disappointed early on in how long it took anyone to notice. I also have no problem discussing my actual weight and how much I've lost. People can see how fat I was/am, them knowing the number doesn't really change that. The only comment that kind of bugs me is "good for you." Even though it's not intended in such a manner, that phrase always seems condescending to me.

Windchime
08-19-2010, 10:42 PM
I don't mind a simple comment or compliment; what bothers me is when people go on and on, effusively exclaiming on HOW much BETTER I look and really, seriously, it's AMAZING, etc. I really don't feel comfortable with my body being the topic of conversation, because I feel like I'm being examined and inspected or something.

So sure, give me a compliment. But please, don't gush and for goodness sake, don't tell me that you're proud of me. The only people who have any business saying that are my parents and myself. I know that sounds weird, but for other people to exclaim how proud they are about my weight loss makes me think that THEY think they somehow had something to do with it.

TJFitnessDiva
08-19-2010, 10:45 PM
It depends on the person the comment is coming from....most of the time I really don't mind them :) Since I've been maintaining I do feel like people are watching me a lot more. I live in a small town & the rumor is that they are taking bets on if I'll gain weight back. :P

I'm totally open about it. The weight I've lost is so obvious that playing it off is out of the question.

Aclai4067
08-19-2010, 11:10 PM
for goodness sake, don't tell me that you're proud of me.

LOL yeah, the only person who's said that to me is my sister. She, my parents, and maybe my friend Andrew (I call him my coach) are the only people I could be okay with that from.

ubergirl
08-19-2010, 11:17 PM
I LOVE the comments. But like Lyn, I think it stems from my confidence that this is permanent.

funnycanadiangirl
08-19-2010, 11:50 PM
Honestly, I still get really awkward. i've been practicing being gracious, and while I fake it really well, on the inside I still cringe every single time. And I suspect it's because I don't feel that different - I still don't really enjoy mirrors or pictures of myself - and because I don't really see it, I haven't embraced it. Also I have never been good with compliments about anything!

I've had a few really nice moments where people who know me well and who anticipate the awkwardness have adorably worked around it - those are the only compliments I have received that I've really enjoyed. I'm hoping with practice, I'll get better at accepting the comments....

Goddess Jessica
08-20-2010, 01:53 AM
I have a problem accepting weight-loss compliments but not for the usual reasons. When someone said, "you look SO GOOD" or something similar, I usually would say, "Yep, I looked good before I lost weight too. You just didn't notice." And that's just not nice. I keep that inside now.

What I try to realize is that (in general) people are idiots about this stuff and their intentions are usually pure and they just want to express their support. I smile and say thank you.

Ciao
08-20-2010, 01:58 AM
http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1-1.jpg

Congrats to you. :)

http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1.jpg

samoonduh
08-20-2010, 02:31 AM
I often wonder when people say you look so good if that means you look that bad before:?:. I guess you just bhave to just enjoy and accept the compliment.

Arctic Mama
08-20-2010, 02:49 AM
Weight comments have never bothered me. I happily tell people how much I started at, how much I have lost, my plan (if they want details) and how much more I have to lose, I had nothing to be ashamed of then, and nothing to be ashamed of now. Everyone has challenges they have to overcome, this has been mine.

I admit to not fearing a regain much, though, or their opinions. It hasn't been my experience to be worried about these!

Natasha1534
08-20-2010, 03:13 AM
I never realized until I started posting on this site just how sensitive some people are about weight loss comments. I mean, honestly, if you were getting your master's degree, let's say, and someone told you they were proud of you would you be offended??? When someone tells me they're proud of me I take it as one of the highest compliments I can get.

goodforme
08-20-2010, 08:48 AM
The bigger I got the more invisible I felt. When someone notices I've lost weight, that means they noticed how big I used to be. In my twisted mind when someone says how great I look, that just means they are so relieved not to have to look at the old me anymore, because I was that disgusting.

:o Even things said with the best intentions get turned around in my mind. Self esteem much?

time2lose
08-20-2010, 09:00 AM
I think that I am comfortable receiving most compliments because I like to give compliments. I make a point of telling people that they are looking especially good today (including skinny people) and it is not a reflection that they normally look cruddy. Sometimes I compliment people because a new hair cut or new clothes caught my eye. It may be because they have a bounce in their step or a light in their eye or maybe it is more a reflection of my mood rather than their appearance.

My point is that just because someone tells us we are looking great now does not mean that they thought we looked terrible before.

Windchime
08-20-2010, 09:36 AM
I never realized until I started posting on this site just how sensitive some people are about weight loss comments. I mean, honestly, if you were getting your master's degree, let's say, and someone told you they were proud of you would you be offended??? When someone tells me they're proud of me I take it as one of the highest compliments I can get.

That's nice for you; that doesn't mean that the rest of us who are bugged by it are wrong. I don't think I ever said that I was "offended" when people comment. What I said was that a compliment is fine, but the endless gushing makes me feel self-conscious.

And yes, if someone that I barely know told me they were proud of me for getting my Masters, it would annoy me. Why should they feel proud of something *I* did? They had nothing to do with it! Know what I mean?

ANewCreation
08-20-2010, 11:23 AM
It really depends on what is said. You know, the back handed compliment is never appreciated. "You don't look so fat in that swim suit." "Now you look so pretty." Things like that. Not really a compliment in my book. While rare, I have actually had these things said to me. But, these are 'compliments' from people I know have a history of saying these kinds of things to everyone they know not just me. So, I just 'consider the source'.

As far as other compliments go, I try to graciously receive them but if people get to gushing or belabor the point I just change the subject. But for me, I'm never really that comfortable being the center of attention so I would do that regardless of the subject at hand if I felt too much attention.

But, that's just me.... ;)

JustBeckyV
08-20-2010, 11:26 AM
I do like it on one hand and on the other - sometimes it makes me a little sad. IDK why - I guess it's because I think man was I that horrible before type thing. I know it's just a mental issue for myself and not something they are actually saying. I always had a tough time before seeing me as obese. I know clearly I was but my mind would never let me grasp that until I was woke up and realized I needed to lose weight. I still would avoid making eye contact in the mirror. So now when I look I see what I always thought I was seeing before. lol I think I totally got off subject here - sorry :)

duckyyellowfeet
08-20-2010, 11:42 AM
I have a love-hate relationship with compliments. On one hand, i DO look better; frankly, some days, I look better now that I've lost weight than i did at my heaviest. My skin looks better, my nails look better, my hair is better...I am SO much healthier, even if I am still fat. I'm also happier because I feel better and that happiness shows.

I like discrete compliments or from people who are really trying to tell me how much of a difference loosing weight is making in my life. I also like those unspoken compliments, like the friends who join me because of my success. I don't like it when me loosing weight becomes a source of conversation among a group or when its a huge production. One of my sisters screamed across two check-stands at the grocery store, asking me what I've lost. That was a little uncomfortable....

Natasha1534
08-20-2010, 04:50 PM
That's nice for you; that doesn't mean that the rest of us who are bugged by it are wrong. I don't think I ever said that I was "offended" when people comment. What I said was that a compliment is fine, but the endless gushing makes me feel self-conscious.

And yes, if someone that I barely know told me they were proud of me for getting my Masters, it would annoy me. Why should they feel proud of something *I* did? They had nothing to do with it! Know what I mean?

I apologize if it sounded like I was saying any of you were WRONG for feeling that way...I certainly do not think that's true. But no, I don't know what you mean about someone telling you they're proud of you. If someone is proud of you they are proud of YOU and your accomplishment...how that translates into them taking any kind of credit, I have no idea. *shrugs* But we all have our little things that make us self-conscious or annoy us...doesn't mean other people need to understand it.

DaughterOfVenus
08-20-2010, 06:00 PM
I often tell friends and even people I don't know so well that I'm proud of them for something or other... it never occurred to me that it was taking credit. Maybe I should just start saying I'm happy for them...

But I mean, when I say to Ashlee, "I'm SO proud of you!" I just mean that I'm proud to have such a smart, hard working friend, and I'm grateful to have her... Not that I did anything to contribute to pharmacy school.

I think it's interesting how different people interpret things differently, and how many meanings a simple phrase can be taken in so many directions. I guess it's the nature of the English language. :-D

Rosinante
08-20-2010, 07:02 PM
I am happy with comments - at the minute, I'd be happy to get some, no-one's noticed much yet!

What does give me problems is the loss of my Cloaking Device. Like Sherrie above, the fatter I am, the more invisible I am. I enjoy getting slimmer, I really do - but I've had all this protection around me for over 50 years, letting it go is also scary. So while I really do like the 'well done' type of comment, at the same time I have a deep, deep discomfort that bubbles up inside. Hm.

Arctic Mama
08-20-2010, 07:06 PM
That's nice for you; that doesn't mean that the rest of us who are bugged by it are wrong. I don't think I ever said that I was "offended" when people comment. What I said was that a compliment is fine, but the endless gushing makes me feel self-conscious.

And yes, if someone that I barely know told me they were proud of me for getting my Masters, it would annoy me. Why should they feel proud of something *I* did? They had nothing to do with it! Know what I mean?

Wouldn't you be happier just assuming every compliment was with the best possible intentions? It is a kind and graceful way to treat another, as well as a nice boost for you. I am afraid I don't understand what harm there is in assuming the best rather than the worst?

Shmead
08-20-2010, 07:42 PM
I have a good friend, the sort of friend you would talk about personal detail with. She's developed this annoying habit of saying "considering how far you've come . . ." whenever I express any sort of dissatisfaction with any part of my body. She doesn't mean it to be hurtful, but it bugs me all the same.

shannonmb
08-20-2010, 07:59 PM
I don't ever get offended or uncomfortable about weight comments. If someone tells me "Wow, you've lost weight!" or something along those lines, I'll usually say something like, "I know, right! I've been working my tail off trying to get healthy and fit, glad it's starting to show! Want to know how much I've lost, what I'm doing, some of my favorite recipes, my thoughts on the emotional connection, how getting my sleep problem fixed is contributing?! I'm more than happy to share every aspect of it, in hopes that it either encourages someone else or that they can pass on the info to someone they love. I'm open about everything like that, though.

I'm also definitely not one to be disappointed when others don't notice. You know, I have a lot of fat friends, skinny friends, and a BUNCH somewhere in between. Honestly and truly, if I like the person, I could not care less how many pounds they carry on their frame. I've really come to the conclusion that most other people feel the same way. I just see weight loss as a topic of conversation, really. It's all good.

envelope
08-20-2010, 08:02 PM
I think DaughterofVenus has hit the nail on the head with her comment about how many people interpret things differently. Alot of it has to do with how you were raised, it is even cultural.

I typically do not mind compliments on my weight, my lifestyle changes and starting good habits, including my food and movement choices is something that I am proud of myself for doing.

I did have a moment of discomfort at the pool today, when a Dad I know who I know had nice honest intentions commented on how he knew I had been losing weight but all of a sudden it really shows. I was pretty uncomfortable, just because I do not like the way I look in swimsuits.

I am not looking foward to comments when I return to school, there are a few people who always have something nasty to say behind others backs. I try not to care what they say, but I know I will mentally cringe with what ever they say, since I know they will have a nasty comment later. I called them out on it once, but I let my emotions get involved so it did not go well. I feel like a middle schooler, oh well, I can handle it.

Eliana
08-20-2010, 09:15 PM
I've never minded the comments, and in fact was disappointed early on in how long it took anyone to notice. I also have no problem discussing my actual weight and how much I've lost. People can see how fat I was/am, them knowing the number doesn't really change that. The only comment that kind of bugs me is "good for you." Even though it's not intended in such a manner, that phrase always seems condescending to me.
I feel like this too. Some people are really bothered by being seen in a bathing suit, and as self-conscious as I was/am, it never bothered me. Someone asked why that was and I said that people know I'm fat in clothes, the bathing suit is not really going to shock them. I do not give actual numbers for how much I weigh, but I do happily say "I've lost almost 70 pounds!!" I've never been asked how much more I want to lose, or at least I haven't been asked for a while.

I think that I am comfortable receiving most compliments because I like to give compliments. I make a point of telling people that they are looking especially good today (including skinny people) and it is not a reflection that they normally look cruddy. Sometimes I compliment people because a new hair cut or new clothes caught my eye. It may be because they have a bounce in their step or a light in their eye or maybe it is more a reflection of my mood rather than their appearance.

My point is that just because someone tells us we are looking great now does not mean that they thought we looked terrible before.

I want you to be my best friend!!! Seriously...wow. :hug: You're awesome!

I apologize if it sounded like I was saying any of you were WRONG for feeling that way...I certainly do not think that's true. But no, I don't know what you mean about someone telling you they're proud of you. If someone is proud of you they are proud of YOU and your accomplishment...how that translates into them taking any kind of credit, I have no idea. *shrugs* But we all have our little things that make us self-conscious or annoy us...doesn't mean other people need to understand it.
This is why I love message boards!! I often have a solid perspective on something and it never enters my mind that everyone else doesn't think that way too. I love finding out how differently we react to things. I think it helps really see both sides of things in the real world, knowing that there are a million different takes on every little thing.


This is a timely thread for me as this week has been INSANE! I only lost 15 pounds between May and now, but I am getting comments left and right at school such that you'd think I'd lost all 70 pounds this summer! At first I enjoyed it, but now, I am not exaggerating, I can not walk down the hall without being accosted! It's crazy! :dizzy: Small example: I had a meeting this afternoon with 11 colleagues, none of whom had seen me yet. I was prepared for the comments. When I walked in, only four people were in the room. All four individually complimented me and gushed. Then the rest straggled in one at a time with more compliments and more gushing. Then finally the supervisor walked in and immediately started the meeting. I thought, phew, it's over! Nope! After a little opening address, she said, "And I just can't go any further without saying, Eliana you look amazing!" LOL!

Now THAT level of compliments has me really uncomfortable! I've gone from being invisible to being the elephant in the room, which is really ironic if you think about it! :dizzy:

Windchime
08-20-2010, 09:47 PM
I apologize if it sounded like I was saying any of you were WRONG for feeling that way...I certainly do not think that's true. But no, I don't know what you mean about someone telling you they're proud of you. If someone is proud of you they are proud of YOU and your accomplishment...how that translates into them taking any kind of credit, I have no idea. *shrugs* But we all have our little things that make us self-conscious or annoy us...doesn't mean other people need to understand it.

I dunno....I guess I just don't understand how people who weren't involved in my progress have the "right" to feel proud on my behalf. Maybe it doesn't make any sense at all, because it's hard to express.

When I went to school as an adult and got a job programming, my dad said he was proud of me. That made me feel really, really good. Because he's like, my DAD. And I want him to be proud of me, because he had a part in me becoming who I am. But for others to go on and on about how proud they are of something that I did.....I dunno. it's hard to explain. It can sometimes feel like they somehow think they were involved in my success, and that's what they're really proud of.

Am I the only person who feels this way? Does anyone understand what I mean?

Windchime
08-20-2010, 09:52 PM
Wouldn't you be happier just assuming every compliment was with the best possible intentions? It is a kind and graceful way to treat another, as well as a nice boost for you. I am afraid I don't understand what harm there is in assuming the best rather than the worst?

I guess I'm confused why you called out my post to quote, since I never said that I assumed that people had bad intentions when they gush on endlessly. I'll say it again--it makes me feel extremely self-conscious when I am singled out for endless gushing compliments. That's all. I don't read ill-intent into it and I don't translate that into, "Wow I must have looked terrible before"....I just don't like it when MY BODY is the center of conversation and people's direct attention. And I won't apologize for that. Different people have different levels of comfort with this, and I really don't think it's wrong to feel this way. Do some people feel differently? Absolutely! Do I have a responsibility to respond graciously when people compliment me? Absolutely. That doesn't mean that I will ever feel truly comfortable when people that I don't know very well want to go on and on, or to probe into how and why and when I lost weight.

DaughterOfVenus
08-20-2010, 10:19 PM
I guess I can understand what you're saying, Windchime, if you don't know the person well at all. But what I was saying is, often when I say I'm proud of someone, I mean that I'm proud to have them as a brother, sister, friend, I'm proud to know them. Like... I brag all the time about how my good friend Ashlee is tops at her pharmacy school, or how my brother is doing so well in the Navy. It doesn't mean I take credit for it, I'm just really proud that someone I care about is doing well. Therefore, I would say, "I'm proud of you!"

It's just two completely different sides of the coin I guess. I hope no one ever thinks I'm trying to be condescending or take credit for their success.

Natasha1534
08-21-2010, 02:27 AM
When I walked in, only four people were in the room. All four individually complimented me and gushed. Then the rest straggled in one at a time with more compliments and more gushing. Then finally the supervisor walked in and immediately started the meeting. I thought, phew, it's over! Nope! After a little opening address, she said, "And I just can't go any further without saying, Eliana you look amazing!" LOL!

Now THAT level of compliments has me really uncomfortable! I've gone from being invisible to being the elephant in the room, which is really ironic if you think about it! :dizzy:

I think THAT level of comments would've made me uncomfortable as well. It's almost like your weight loss was the ENTIRE focus or something. I guess it's flattering in a way...but I can definitely see why it would make you uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I guess I can kind relate what some of you guys feel to how I felt in Pre-Algebra when our teacher would pass our test papers back in order from lowest grade to highest. Even though I was happy to have made the highest or near the highest it got a little uncomfortable for me w/ it being pointed out in front of the entire class.

I hope no one ever thinks I'm trying to be condescending or take credit for their success.

Same here!!! I never in my life thought about things like this until I came to this website and saw some of the things people write about. I remember a thread a while back about a girl that was out running and was approached by another female who told her how impressed she was w/ how good she was doing...and she took offense to the compliment b/c she thought "if I wasn't a big girl, she wouldn't have approached me and said that." I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I give a compliment to someone I really truly mean it...I don't say it if I don't mean it. To think that someone could take a compliment that I gave them and take it to a negative place, to be honest, really concerns me!!! :(

Eliana
08-21-2010, 12:03 PM
Am I the only person who feels this way? Does anyone understand what I mean?

No, I feel the same way! My friend often tells me she feels proud of me and I know how she intends it so it makes me feel good. But flip it, I can not tell her I'm proud of her because I know darn well I have nothing to do with what I am proud of her for. So yeah, I get it, but I also understand the intent and take it that way. Does that make sense? :dizzy:

I personally think of the word "proud" the same way you do...that the person using it means they had something to do with your success. But I think most people do not use it that way. I am PROUD of my flute students. I know I had a little something to do with their success. But for a friend of me to be proud, no. They had nothing to do with it.

Rosinante
08-21-2010, 01:33 PM
Aye, sensitivities. When someone comments positively on my educational or employment achievements, it's lovely ~ but it's out there somewhere, detached from me. When someone comments positively on my weightloss, I can cope with one 'well done!' but after that, it feels too intimate, too personal, too close: my fat is me in a way that my academic or other abilities are not.

Bunti
08-21-2010, 02:14 PM
Interesting thread. "Proud" is a funny word that obviously means different things to different people.

Often I say "proud of you" when I really mean "impressed with your accomplishment". Or instead of "glad you made a positive change because I care." Or "I wish I could have done the thing you have done." Or all of the above. I certainly don't intend in any way to take credit for someones effort, and certainly wouldn't say this to a stranger. More often, with an acquaintance I would say the first compliment.

I also, thank the Lord, was born with the ability to look for the positive in life. It has come in handy when faced with early loss of parents, child permanently disabled in an horrendous accident which bankrupted us( a neighbor fell a tree onto him at 11, broke his back, closed head injury, degloved back, crushed right leg-9 breaks, 3 of them compound, coma for months, maxed out our insurance, now adult and still at home, and we are blessed to have him)chronically ill husband (cancer, aneurysm),being our families primary support, and my own illnesses including breast cancer, mastectomy and recovery. I only mention these lest someone believe I am a pollyanna who has never had to deal with the real world. BTW, I work full time as well.

I DO notice the lovely color sweater that someone might wear, and will comment on it, or the pretty earrings, or the cool car, or the lovely haircut. It doesn't mean the previous sweater was ugly... it may mean that the present one is my favorite color, or looks great with today's lipstick, or goes great with the total outfit, and I noticed. Sheese, I think it is a huge comment about our self esteem if we cannot give and receive compliments. Also maybe a comment on how we were taught social skills. If you have a compliment for me, I welcome it, if it is real, and will thank you for it.

Originally Posted by time2lose;
I think that I am comfortable receiving most compliments because I like to give compliments. I make a point of telling people that they are looking especially good today (including skinny people) and it is not a reflection that they normally look cruddy. Sometimes I compliment people because a new hair cut or new clothes caught my eye. It may be because they have a bounce in their step or a light in their eye or maybe it is more a reflection of my mood rather than their appearance.

I so agree with time2lose's point that just because someone tells us we are looking great now does not mean that they thought we looked terrible before.

I work with children who have never been told ANYTHING good about them. An "I'm proud of you" can be darn near life changing for them. Or just noticing their effort, cause no one ever has, in a real way.

Originally posted by brown;
Having to bust my *** to the extreme to lose what I've put on is simply the opposite of the time I was living the other extreme and being carefree, while those who didn't have weight problems were living well-balanced. Being congratulated for getting to where I should've been this whole time just feels weird.

Wow. While sometimes I experience self hate for my weight, and I do take responsibility for it, I also recognize that like other addictions, it becomes a vicious cycle, that has illness implications. To suggest that someone who kicks an addiction cannot have the same effort acknowledged is really bewildering to me. So, if someone quits smoking after years they shouldn't have that effort acknowledged? And many people who don't have weight problems are not "living well balanced", some are of course, but weight is not the only indicator of a "well balanced" life.

We are wondrous and complex organisms, thank God, which is why we can work hard and repair our bodies in many ways, in a short time, when you think of how long it took us to put on the weight, and the relatively short time it will take us to lose it, if we can go the race. For me, it will take over a year to lose my weight, if I stay on plan....but it took 15 years to put it on.
And having the cheerleader types in my life help me, that is one of the reasons I am here at 3FC.

Windchime
08-21-2010, 04:24 PM
Aye, sensitivities. When someone comments positively on my educational or employment achievements, it's lovely ~ but it's out there somewhere, detached from me. When someone comments positively on my weightloss, I can cope with one 'well done!' but after that, it feels too intimate, too personal, too close: my fat is me in a way that my academic or other abilities are not.

Rosinante, this is how I feel as well. You've hit on it--it feels too personal or intimate or something. I guess I'm just not that comfortable with that kind of focus. I love a compliment, but please don't inspect my body and make it an ongoing topic of conversation!

PaulaM
08-21-2010, 06:02 PM
This really can be a complicated issue. When I had a great figure for years, men always complimented me, women rarely. When I put on a lot of weight, women got nicer and men ignored me. I have plenty of really good girlfriends, so I'm not saying all women are *****y or competitive, don't get me wrong. But we've all had a woman give us the head to toe look, checking out our hair, makeup, clothing, shoes etc.

Yes we are so much more than our weight, but it definitely is something that changes how people perceive us, particularly strangers. Most people "judge" you within a few seconds of seeing you.

I've only lost 22 lbs so far, so I know that doesn't compare with people who have lost close to 100. I have to say though, for me, if you weren't pleasant to me when I was fat and start acting nicer (or nastier) when I get my former figure back, I'm really not interested. I would never say to somebody "you look like you've put on some weight", which I've certainly heard. I wouldn't go on about how much weight somebody has lost unless they brought it up themselves first. I know others feel differently. I personally feel safer giving them a hug and saying "it's so good to see you!".

nancymae
08-21-2010, 07:39 PM
I lost 100 pounds once before got to 135 and kept it off for over 15 years. Then I hovered around 220 for 10 years and over the past 4 years I kept gaining until I found myself almost 50 pound over my previous highest weight! I need to have joint replacements and had to loose 25 pounds for that, it was at that point that I joind 3fc and I decided to keep going...

So...I do like people commenting on the weight loss but I don't like discussing it much... how much I weighed when I started and how much I weight now and especially how much weight I"plan" to loose". Maybe it's fear that i will not meet my goal weight or just embarrassment that I got so fat in the fist place.