I think I may finally be becoming a grown up! And high time, I suppose, considering I'm nearly 40 years old and have a 9 year old daughter of my own.
I swear I've lived most of my life with this feeling that I want what I want and I want it NOW! I don't know where that came from, why I'm so much that way, but I think it has for SURE contributed to my weight.
In the past, I've thought of weight loss as something that takes SO long, and I saw it as an all or nothing thing -- either I'm fat or I'm thin. And even though the 'thin' would be a huge payoff, it sure was quicker to grab a pizza to feel 'satisfied'. Of course that feeling wouldn't last long and I've have to go out and get the next pizza, but it sure was instant! I need to feel good right NOW, thin would probably feel better, but pizza can happen NOW.
Something clicked for me, and I am seeing the errors in all my thinking. For one thing, I've learned that at 350 lbs, even 31 lbs lost is a huge payoff in itself. I can't WAIT to lose 10 more! Goal weight notwithstanding, how great will another 10 pound loss feel!!! Surprisingly (to me), this whole concept of delayed gratification is carrying over to other aspects of my life, too. I want new floors. I could take out a loan or put them on credit, but now I'm saving for them, have a goal in mind, and will feel SO good when they are being layed and are paid for free and clear.
Earning things, working for them, and then basking in the success once the goals are achieved. That's what I want now, and it's happening, all around!