General chatter - My best friend (Female) lied to me




Fat Boy Wants 2 Slim
08-19-2010, 04:34 AM
I've known this girl for a long time, good part of 6 years. I've been through alot of things with her, breakups, relationships, domestic arguments, stuck by her through bad and good times. I've given her lifts when she had no car, I've made sure she ate when she had no money, when she needed someone to talk to I was there.

Now she has gone on holiday and she has lied to me about it. She's lying to me about the destination, who she is going with (a male friend who she only known for less then 6 months) and why she is going.

I know she is lying because I have seen her emails about the holiday. When I asked her about it she told me complete lies.

Now when she comes back I am breaking up with her, I no longer want to be friends with her. I hate liars and no longer feel I can trust her.

Why has she lied to me? Is this friendship worth anything now?

Before anyone asks she isn't starting a relationship with this guy, it just so happens they gone on holiday together as friends as they do the same activity at a club. He isn't her type and nothing will come of it.


DaytoNite
08-19-2010, 04:43 AM
It sounds as though you may like her a little more than "as a friend". Is this correct? I'm sorry your hurting. <<<hugs>>>

Fat Boy Wants 2 Slim
08-19-2010, 04:50 AM
I care about her alot yes. I did like her more then a friend once only because we were getting close but now I don't feel like I can be with her like that.


miamimelting
08-19-2010, 06:02 AM
She is not telling you the truth because you will obviously freak out on her. If you are truely just friends and love her as a friend then you may not agree with what she is doing but you must support her as your friend. You can't freak out with every guy she starts to date or every guy that she spends time with. She won't want to tell you anything because its not worth the drama.

I think you are right to re-evaluate the relationship. With the little bit you wrote it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Hopefully all that you have done has been returned some how. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. If your getting upset about her involvement with other guys then your feelings are more than just friendship. She knows it and she is lying to you because she knows you will freak and she will lose you. She likes having you as a friend, but obviously no more. Or she would be dating you and not someone else. Don't waste your time thinking she will someday realize you are her prince charming. If your feelings are more than friends than that is unfair of her to do to you. Keep you around for her security. She needs to let you move on and tell you so.

Fat Boy Wants 2 Slim
08-19-2010, 07:53 AM
I don't freak out when she dates other guys, I am not that insecure. I've been through so much with her that I hate seeing her get hurt becuase it is me that has to pick up the pieces. None of her male or female friends do this becuase none of then care about her much.

I am freaking out because she has lied to me. I have no problems with her going on holidays with guys or friends because she has done this before and I was perfectly fine with it.

Not only has she lied to me but to her mother, grandmother and son. She can be very selfish at times. Its not the lying about going out with friends its the fact she has made out that she is going on away for business purposes but infact she has gone away for a holiday. She has no money to do this and she has lied to get money from me, her mother and grandmother. She is using me. I can understand me being the obvious one to use. But her mother, grandmother and son? That is not on. She has gone and left her son with her mother who can barley look after herself.

tryhardforlife
08-19-2010, 08:02 AM
Ha your helping her pay for a trip with another dude. Classic. Not sure what your getting out of this relationship. Cut her off, get in shape, and trade up.

Fat Boy Wants 2 Slim
08-19-2010, 08:41 AM
I haven't paid for anything. She has asked me for money, but I made out I didn't have any because I know she is lying.

applelady
08-19-2010, 08:41 AM
Could it be that she has used you and lied to you because that is simply who she is? Maybe you shouldn't ask yourself "Why she did it" but ask yourself "why did It take me this long to see it" Either way, you're probably right to move on.

Fat Boy Wants 2 Slim
08-19-2010, 09:02 AM
Yeah she can be selfish at times, but other times I know she is considerate. I think I will move on. She hasn't lied to me in the past, that I am pretty sure of.

ThicknPretty
08-19-2010, 09:43 AM
I know exactly how you feel.

I had a male friend who did this EXACT SAME THING TO ME last year. He went out of town with a bunch of people for his birthday. I was originally invited, but ended up not being able to go...and for some unkown reason, he decided to lie and say that they never went...and then pictures were posted on facebook and etc, etc. It was the most random, unecessary lie ever told.

Friends don't lie to you, especially about things like this. And once they do and you KNOW about it, it's really hard to move past it or let it go. When I confronted my friend about his tall tale, he brushed it off (sort of admitting it, but acting like it really wasn't a big deal). I still don't understand why he lied. It made me feel foolish and like the joke was on me and it really damaged our friendship. We are no longer friends now and it's for the best.

Toxic people need to be shown the door. You know your standards for friendships and she is not meeting them...you have to make the decision from there.

I'm sorry :hug: