General chatter - Ok...So Do Women Treat You Differently Now?




ThicknPretty
08-17-2010, 10:05 PM
I was pondering this on my evening walk and wondered if anyone else is experiencing or noticing this.

I have noticed lately that women treat me a lot differently now...and not always in a good way. I've always had a very defined, strong personality...oppinionated, friendly, aggressive at times, funny. However, at my high weight, I also tended to be rather...apologetic, especially in new company. I knew how to carry myself and behave in a way that said: Yes, I know, I'm so fat and I couldn't possibly be more embarassed about it!

Now that I'm feeling better about myself, I'm definitely carrying myself with more confidence. I dress like I care, I fuss with my hair, I hold my head up and sometimes even venture as far as to flirt with a guy. And I'm getting a LOT of dirty looks, rude stares, poor treatment in restaraunts and stores...from women.

Now, please, don't misunderstand. I would never be so cocky as to think that I'm making anyone jealous. It's more like...I feel more noticeable now and I feel like some women are beginning to see me as more of a "threat", whereas before I was simply the chubby, silly, insecure girl who always wore a hoodie (yes, literally). I think I'm more comfortable showing my personality now and those things mixed with my newfound confidence are putting off a vibe that women don't dig!

I know we've talked a lot about how men treat us differently or look at us more...but what about the women? Have you noticed anything like I've experienced...or the opposite?


charmtime
08-17-2010, 10:14 PM
Not exactly answering your question..but GOOD FOR YOU....What a great thing to happen to you, you know? You go girl!!!

tiredalways
08-17-2010, 10:32 PM
I don't know about the strange women but women in my family definitely treated me different (and as you said, not always in a good way) when I lost first from (180 to 150 in about a year or so) ..I heard from a friend of a friend that one of my sis-in-law said to somebody that I must have been taking some pills ..It hurt at that time but now that I think about it-I guess its just good-ol-insecurity kicking it in.


ncuneo
08-17-2010, 11:53 PM
No, I think it's more their reaction to my new confidence and that I am in fact treating them differently and so I'm getting different reactions from people than before. I think what's nice is that I now have confidence to talk to thinner people so I'm socializing more than before instead of praying not to be noticed or judge. I'd say thinner people treat me as an equal now and heavier people treat me the way I treated thinner people when I was overweight (praying not to be noticed or judged). That's just been my experience on this roller coaster.

guamvixen
08-18-2010, 10:08 AM
No, I think it's more their reaction to my new confidence and that I am in fact treating them differently and so I'm getting different reactions from people than before. I think what's nice is that I now have confidence to talk to thinner people so I'm socializing more than before instead of praying not to be noticed or judge. I'd say thinner people treat me as an equal now and heavier people treat me the way I treated thinner people when I was overweight (praying not to be noticed or judged). That's just been my experience on this roller coaster.

I totally agree with you! This is what I experience. I always felt like i was being judged and noticed. Great post and awesome thread!

saef
08-18-2010, 10:44 AM
Women's reactions seem to be all over the place.

Young, attractive salesgirls are nicer. Especially if they're working on commission. Now I'm clearly in their target demographic & not easily dismissed as someone "just looking." I get a whole different vibe now in small boutiques than I did before. Also, weirdly enough, in antique shops, where I thought such things wouldn't matter. (I mean, I'm not gonna wear that card table & I don't have to fit into a Staffordshire figurine.)

In the gym, the "hot girls" will talk to me after spin class & Pilates. Which surprises me a bit because they're younger than I. (They're decades too late. If such girls had deigned to speak to me in high school, it really would have helped my social standing. At this point, who cares?)

Heavier women seem, at times, somewhat deferential, but only those who are more reticent or blend more in the background. (I am fairly outgoing.) I'm tallking here about people who don't know me.

The weirdest treatment I get is from women whose relationship with me I'd sum up by saying: "We were fat together." We ate together, we commiserated together. That's all over now. We still can't figure out how to "be" when we're together.

kateleestar
08-18-2010, 11:08 AM
I was pondering this on my evening walk and wondered if anyone else is experiencing or noticing this.

I have noticed lately that women treat me a lot differently now...and not always in a good way. I've always had a very defined, strong personality...oppinionated, friendly, aggressive at times, funny. However, at my high weight, I also tended to be rather...apologetic, especially in new company. I knew how to carry myself and behave in a way that said: Yes, I know, I'm so fat and I couldn't possibly be more embarassed about it!



OMG! That's me!! Next time you visit akron to see your pal, let me know. I bet we'd get along great! :lol:

Ah, I was once dubbed by my BFF "The nicest, most helpful, agressive, meanest class clown you'll ever meet." I heart her.


Annnnnnnd. I get that too. My SIL is a runner. Like, hard-core. And she appreciates that I can talk to her about that kind of stuff now, because were both in the same 5k in October.. ANYways, our MIL is reallllly defensive towards me recently, since my loss. She's never been on the katie-is-awesome-train, but... she tolerated me. Now? Not so much.

Oh well. :lol: