[kmac1196]

How long do you stay at one calorie level before you decide it's not working or is working? If it's one pound a week would you stay there or drop a little to get 2 pounds? If it's not a loss at all do you change after 2 weeks of that level or wait 3 weeks to change?

[caryesings]

I've gone at this a bit backwards I guess. I eat calorie level that will get the nutrition I need and control my hunger and see where the weight loss falls. So I've discovered that a range of 1200-1900 works for me with average around 1600. That's resulted in @ 6 lbs/month. Now that rate is slowing down (only 1 lb. this month), I'm increasing my exercise.

As I plan to eat this way for the rest of my life, I'm not willing to cut calories to a level I can't sustain even for a week. So while I know there are days I've eaten 1200 and gone to bed satisfied, long term I can't eat at that level so won't even try even though I know there are a number of people on here who say they are content with 1200/day.

[kaplods]

I also decided to diet "backwards" from the norm, and it's given me slower, but much more permanent results. I've never lost this much weight before and have never kept weight loss going so long either.

I have to say that dieting, exercise, and weight loss have never been this fun before. Removing the guilt and frustration has been amazing. The tradeoff has been speed, but I'm fine wiht that. You have to know what tradeoffs are the most important to you. Is it more important to you to lose at a specific rate, or is it more important for your weight loss to be comfortable? What behaviors will get you what you want most.

I decided that I would only make changes that I was willing to commit to whether or not weight loss resulted. The weight loss is always a bonus, but I never am disappointed by a "not good enough" weight loss.

Whenever I tried to lose weight in the past, I'd eventually get discouraged and give up - not because I was failing, but because I wasn't succeeding fast enough. If I lost a half pound, I wanted it to be a pound. If it was a pound, I wanted it to be two. I was almost never happy with the scale. What used to disappoint me, now thrills me.

I think it's a lot easier to keep at a task that you feel good about at least half the time.

As to your question, only you can answer it. There are no "rules" to this, and knowing other peoples rules aren't all that helpful. You've got to choose the path that is best for yourself, and you can only determine that by experimentation.

I'd encourage you to give any calorie level at least a three week trial, because any less than that can be misleading. A month or two would be even better, because it would guarantee that you're not seeing normal fluctuations. I gain up to 10 lbs of water retention every month with my period. If I wasn't keenly aware of that, I could think that my diet was causing that weight gain, and I'd be cutting my calories to ridiculous proportions.

[K-boogie]

Originally Posted by kaplods

You have to know what tradeoffs are the most important to you. Is it more important to you to lose at a specific rate, or is it more important for your weight loss to be comfortable? What behaviors will get you what you want most.


Whenever I tried to lose weight in the past, I'd eventually get discouraged and give up - not because I was failing, but because I wasn't succeeding fast enough. If I lost a half pound, I wanted it to be a pound. If it was a pound, I wanted it to be two. I was almost never happy with the scale. What used to disappoint me, now thrills me.

I think it's a lot easier to keep at a task that you feel good about at least half the time.

As to your question, only you can answer it. There are no "rules" to this, and knowing other peoples rules aren't all that helpful. You've got to choose the path that is best for yourself, and you can only determine that by experimentation.

I'd encourage you to give any calorie level at least a three week trial, because any less than that can be misleading. A month or two would be even better, because it would guarantee that you're not seeing normal fluctuations.

Thank you for this portion of your post this is the place I am trying to get to.

[kmac1196]

Well, what's important to me is weight loss. I'm trying to learn patience...I'm not patient in any areas of my life. I would be happy with 5-8 lbs per month so taking an average loss where some weeks I'm up and others a big loss is fine. I see others who are achieving this so why can't I? That said, I am no longer willing to be on a diet to get those results. I am eating healthy foods but I am not NOT eating anything. This is my first full fledged attempt at calorie counting and it will be forever not for now. Everything can be measured in calories and I can always have whatever I want if it fits in to my budget. I am also not starting low. I'm keeping my cals at 1700 or a bit under. Last week I averaged 1645. I work out (lifting weights-heavy) 3 days a week and cardio 3. I'm trying to increase that. I also house clean for a living so I am very active at work. I want to make permanant changes not drastic ones that I can't keep up. That's what I've learned from losing 77 lbs in 7 months and gaining back 87 in the following 5 years. I did that by dieting. But I won't lie and say that losing weight isn't the ultimate goal and not the bonus. For me, that is.

[Shy Moment]

kmac
I can only say what worked for me and what I am doing again. I stayed between 1200 and 1400 calories. Gave a nice range. Never gained any back always forward with the weight loss. I was always losing a pound a week, had plenty of room for anything I wanted. Could fit in the required amounts of the 5 basic food groups. What I found was I needed to go a little lower on the carbs and fats as I was getting closer to my goals. Sodium was another thing I had to really watch.

This isn't for everyone of course. I was doing great until I was on all the meads again and then as the weight started to pack back on I have to admit I started not eating right again.

1200 to 1400 calories
30 to 35 grams fat
180 to 210 carbs.

I really found there were somedays I had to make myself eat more. Depends on what one eats to fill those calories. I could have all the required amounts of the 5 basic food groups eaten and not even have 1200 calories in for the day. I was told never never under 1200 calories.

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by kmac1196

Well, what's important to me is weight loss... But I won't lie and say that losing weight isn't the ultimate goal and not the bonus. For me, that is.

You can't really choose weight loss - you can only choose behaviors that lead to weight loss.


What's the difference?

Well, say you wanted to lose five pounds. Exactly five pounds, not an ounce more and not less. Not going to happen unless you're very lucky or you know a very talented liposuctionist.

Wanting weight loss is much fuzzier concept that most people realize. What is it about weight loss that you want. Is the number important? Why? If you looked like a supermodel and had the healthy and abilities of an athlete, would the number still matter?

Is speed important to you?

You talk about behaviors you aren't willing to do, but also numbers you're willing to accept - what if your behaviors don't yield those results? What if you feel like you're working your butt off, and the weight doesn't come off? Will you be so discouraged that you give up? Will you work harder to acheive your goals? Will you rethink your goals?

Personally, whether your ultimate goal is weight loss, or health, you have to understand what you have control over. Health improvements has been my ultimate goal. I don't mind how I look, and my husband doesn't either, so health improvements are my ultimate goal. But I can no more choose to be healthier than I can chooe to be thinner, I only have direct control over the actions that could get me there. Having a goal of 5 lbs loss in a month, is a bit like choosing to have a blood pressure of 115/65 at my doctor's appointment on friday. How the heck do I choose my blood pressure any more than I can choose my weight.

I can only follow behaviors that have the potential and likelihood of getting me there. If I find out my blood pressure is 122/82 did I fail?

The more specific, measureable and controllable your goals, the more you will succeed. The more power you have over your goal, the more likely you will feel in control (because it will be true) and the less likely you are to be frustrated if you fall short.

You can't decide to lose 5 lbs by next friday, any more than I can decide my blood pressure. You can decide to stick to a food plan. You can decide to journal. You can decide to exercise for 20 minutes every day......

Make your goal something you can do. Weight loss doesn't have to be the bonus, it can be the reward - but it can't be the behavior without setting you up for feelings of failure. If you did everything you set out to do this week (calories, exercise...) and you fall short, are you disapointed?

It's that disappointment that is the death of most dieters. Most people don't give up because they're failing, they give up because they aren't suceeding to their expectations. They're seeing failure where there is actually success.

We've convinced ourselves as a nation that guilt and impatience are such normal part of dieting, that it has to be there. The fact is, we don't know how to do it any other way, so we do it the way everyone else does it, and that includes giving up just like everyone else does it.

The fact is, we only see the people who are losing 5 to 8 lbs a month. The vast majority who do not, are not waving their hands in the air to tell their story. When I complained to my doctor that for how hard I was working, "I should belosing more, because I did in the past, and everyone else does," he asked me where I heard "that garbage about what everyone else does."

He told me that most people do not even lose one pound a month, because they give up! If I wanted to do weight loss like everyone else, then I should have given up months ago. I decided I don't want to do weight loss like eveyrone else. And that I shouldn't compare my abilities to anyone else's and that includes former versions of myself. I can only do now, what I can do now. Wanting to be as good as someone else, or as good as former me can drive my crazy if it turns out I can't.

So I'll tell you what my doctor told me: Do you really want to be normal, and lose 2 to 3 lbs a week for a month, then give up and regain it all (and maybe a few extra to spare) just to try again later and do the same thing?

Is that the "normal" you want to be a part of?

Maybe rapid weight loss is doable and possible for you. Maybe it isn't. You have to find what will get you to your ultimate goal, and do it - but when the ultimate goal is something you don't have precise control over, don't use it as the goal to judge your progress by.

If my goal is to have a sunny day on my birthday, I'm SOL unless I have the means to travel to a sunny day on my birthday (and I plan ahead enough to execute those travel plans). My goal can be to earn a million dollars, but if I don't know how to get there, I never will.

[kmac1196]

Really good points. But yes if I'm being honest, I would be disapointed if my blood pressure was high...I would think it was my fault. I am a perfectionist and that follows me everywhere...I know, silly. Yes, also if being honest, the numbers do matter, as do the sizes. I can't change who I am or what I want but I can take some of your advice and ponder and try to incorporate it into my life. I can't control the outcome only the steps it will take me to get there. I know that on a rational level and I will continue to tell myself that but I won't lie and say that if I worked my butt off (as I am) to only lose 1 lb in a month, that I wouldn't be pissed! I would. We are talking science here now...calories in vs calories out....create a deficit and you lose. And my comparisons weren't to others I read/hear about. It's to those on this site whom I've watched and come to know (sort of) lose successfully. I know it can be done. I also am not putting a time limit on it. I am going to calorie count and exercise because I want to. And the results are sure to follow (right?). I can't see the connection you made to wanting a sunny day. There is no control over weather, agreed. But there is control over weight. I will not say I'm a victim of how fat I am now...I know how I got here and it's not by accident. I made a conscious effort to NOT exercise and TO eat like sh&@. And to some degree, I can control my blood pressure. And to some degree, I can control my weight loss. And I can control my attitude if I don't lose what I expected...but that doesn't mean that I don't set goals and try to attain them. I think I've been letting myself off the hook for so many years that when I don't stay the course, I say...oh, it's okay. You have really given me food for thought. In some ways, I'm way to hard on myself but in others, I let myself off the hook too easy. I'm a work in progress in this weight loss thing, to be sure and I thank you for your thoughts!!

[kmac1196]

Oh, and I didn't meant to ignore your post, Shy. I think that 1200-1400 might be a bit low for me. Based on the websites out there (and I've compared a lot of them) and the advice of people on here, and my active lifestyle and current workout routine, I should be able to lose 1-2 lbs per week on 1700 calories per day. Should being the operative word. It will also give me some room to move down if I need too later on. I am pretty satisfied on that calorie level, too. Not hungry and not craving.