General chatter - Giving out weight loss advice?




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moonkissed
08-13-2010, 06:27 AM
I have been posting a bunch here lately and on another site I go to. I think it gives me a huge push when I am talking and staying focused and in the weight loss mind set! lol

But as I just gave someone some advice in a thread it kindof struck me like omg should I be giving out advice?

I did really good last year sure and I did lose weight by making the right choices. Ofcourse I gained it back but that had to do with alot of issues bleh.

Ofcourse everyone here is giving support and advice as well as taking it so I shouldn't feel bad about giving it. I can rationalize that in my head.

But at the same time I am screaming in the back of my head - omg they are going to be like why is this fat girl giving me advice? I want it from that skinny woman who has had the success and knows what she is talking about.

Which the weird part is that I don't feel that way myself. If anyone gives me advice I would take it ya know based on what they are saying not by the scale. So why would I think other people would be different towards me?

It sounds silly typing it out lol and I know I will still continue to post and give advice and support as well as ask for it lol :)

Anyone else feel this way though??


HelenMay
08-13-2010, 06:30 AM
I think I know what you are talking about but I think it`s ok to share your knowledge of what you know while you are still working on your personal challenge.

Giving out advice is more intellectual - we give it to strangers, friends, and not to ourselves.

Trying to get thin and sticking to it, following our own advice I think is more emotional. I definitely eat stuff I shouldn`t because I rationalize the reason to do it.

Anyway just me $.02

kaplods
08-13-2010, 08:00 AM
If you have information that could help someone, even if it's information you should be following, but haven't; who benefits if you keep silent?

And on the other hand, if you have great advice, but aren't following it - does that make you a hypocrite?

Personally, I don't think so. Not unless you think ill of people for behavior that you think is ok for you. Or if you judge harshly those who don't take your advice, or if you think you're exempt from needing advice (everyone needs your opinion, but you don't need anyone else's).

I think giving advice helps the advice giver as much as the potential recipients. For example, I struggle with is keeping my health journal (not only documenting what I eat, but also symptoms and exercise and emotions...). Even though I get lazy and "don't feel like" using it, it doesn't change the fact that the journaling is one of the best tools I have in my arsenal. If I didn't share that insight regularly, I could easily persuade myself that it's not important.

However, I dish out journaling advice quite regularly. I firmly believe it is the key to managing and improving my health. Do I feel like a hypocrite when I recommend journaling when I haven't opened my book in a week?

Actually not so much, because I think my advice has huge potential to help a lot of people, including myself. Because when I tell someone "a health journal will really help," I remind myself "Yeah, Colleen a health journal will really help, so dig yours out and start using it again."

Giving advice reminds me to take my own. And as much as I like helping others, I'm primarily here to help myself. I need to remember that as well - and it doesn't mean I'm being selfish. If I don't help myself, I will soon be of no use to anyone.

Even if I only take 10% of my great advice - even if only 10% of my opinions are advice (or helpful to anyone, for that matter) the opinions matter. For a lot of problems, talking about them helps (even when the advice and opinions are whacko - just the act of talking helps).

This site would help very few people if only the 100% successful felt justified in posting. It would be very quiet, and no one would benefit.

So give that advice, but remember to listen to it yourself. Remember that you may need it as much or more than the person you're advising.


thesame7lbs
08-13-2010, 08:23 AM
I think it's always good to give advice if you have it because, like Kaplods said, sometimes you "know the answer" even if you have trouble doing it in your real life.

I sometimes feel the same because I've only lost 16 lbs and so many people have lost so much more -- often including the person asking the question. But there may be something particular about my experience that is relevant to something in hers at that given moment.

I would think that as someone who has lost and regained you may have particularly valuable insight -- so please do keep sharing...

Eliana
08-13-2010, 08:33 AM
Yep, like thesame said, as a loser/regainer, you do have a lot to offer. ;) Many of us here are losers/regainers and we have a lot...oh way too much...experience in that arena. It's a pretty common weight loss trend and I think any advice on breaking that cycle is relevant and appreciated.

But we offer more than just advice here. We also offer support and lots of it! And pearls of wisdom and a lot of been-there-done-that sympathy. ;)

It took me a while to get my feet wet here, but after a while, you'll get a feel for your voice in this place. The only one putting that kind of pressure on you is you. ;)

Shmead
08-13-2010, 09:03 AM
The places you are talking about--internet fora--are places where people go looking for advice. Of course it's reasonable to give your insights and ideas. It's nothing at all like a person giving unsolicited weight loss advice to other people who have already lost more weight. THAT would be annoying (I think we've all had it happen to us), but it's not what you are doing. Not even close. So you're good.

jackiemomto3
08-13-2010, 10:07 AM
Personally I love when people of all stages give advice. It helps us see maybe something we would not have thought of or known before. Two heads are better than one!! :)

Collnew
08-13-2010, 10:59 AM
Hello, I am a new member here and this is my first post (I really hope my little weight loss slider works;)). Anyway, I saw your message and thought I'd share a few lines. First off, if all we needed for weight loss/healthy living was the science of it, then we would all be fine. In fact, I dare say that the truth is that the people who struggle with weight issues are actually much more educated about food science than people who don't. I personally know more than one nutrition professional who are overweight themselves. The real key is finding what personally works in our own lives; and being determined enough, to be patient enough, to work on it for as long as it takes to make the changes a natural and permanent part of our lives. Hey, trying to revamp an engrained, instinctually based, lifelong pattern with social and emotional ties is BIG business!; and although the science is simple (use more calories than eaten and over time lose weight) the psychology of applying that daily is much more complicated. If you have knowledge of any kind that might help someone find a tool or trinket in helping them make that whole transformation, be it scientific or emotional, then it would be a real disservice to both you and them if you did not share it. How dare you feel hypocritical for being educated! Just because you are still learning what fits you doesn't mean that the facts and lessons you have learned so far are untrue! Share, share, share. You might hold the last key to what might unlock the system that helps someone else make a total transformation, even yourself.

JayEll
08-13-2010, 11:18 AM
It should be understood that giving medical advice if you're not a doctor or other certified health care professional is not something to do. 3FC has disclaimers all over the place about that.

As long as you are speaking from your own experience and making that clear, of course it's OK to share. Even people who have regained weight understand basic principles and can offer insight--while getting back on track themselves.

Jay

Coondocks
08-13-2010, 12:16 PM
As long as you are speaking from your own experience and making that clear, of course it's OK to share. Even people who have regained weight understand basic principles and can offer insight--while getting back on track themselves.

Jay

couldn't have said it better.
IMO - the fact that there are so many people, from so many walks of life, facing different obstacles, finding different solutions and from so many different stages of the journey makes this place an invaluble resource.
For me, the advice/opinions has been so helpful but what's been MORE helpful to me is whenever I ask a question, there ARE opinions and insights given - letting me know i'm not alone in this and some one else is or has gone through the point I'm at. It's great!

Beach Patrol
08-13-2010, 12:46 PM
Well now, lemme see...

since I've lost 30-40 pounds at least 6 times in my adult life, I'd say I'm a flipp'n expert on the matter! :rofl:

But seriously... yeah, a little bit. Because I've SUCCESSFULLY lost weight SEVERAL times. Just because I haven't learned maintenance yet, that's no reason to not share my knowledge thus far, eh? ;)

Of course right now, I'm on a plateau from ****... :?: all the things that have worked for me in the past are not working THIS TIME, and the only reason I can surmise is that my hormones are so outta whack, and I'm insulin resistant. But I keep trying new things & practicing what I KNOW to be good healthy eating habits & sooner or later, by-gum! - that freak'n scale has GOTTA MOVE downward.

:crazy:

duckyyellowfeet
08-13-2010, 01:03 PM
I feel really guilty doling out advice whenever I am off-plan, yes. But at the same time, I know that people are free to completely disregard whatever I say, based on any factors they may like. And just because I'm not implementing every idea I have in my own life doesn't mean they don't hold value for someone else.

Plus, the accountability is important. Reminding myself over and over again that the knowledge I need is stored in my brain, or that I have a ton of resources here, makes loosing weight easier to undertake.

Laureedee
08-13-2010, 01:04 PM
I agree with the others. I wouldn't dream of giving out advice on maintaining because even though I did manage it for two years, obviously I'm not too good at it. But I have lost nearly 130lbs in my life and while I regained a couple of times, that doesn't mean I don't know how to lose, obviously I do, so I don't feel bad giving out advice as long as I know what I'm talking about. It's really up to the person listening/reading whether or not they'll take it anyway, not like we're forcing them too.

Ciao
08-13-2010, 03:45 PM
http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1-1.jpg

I absolutely love getting advice! :)
It doesn't matter who it may be, if
they can offer advice then I'm glad. :D

http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1.jpg

saef
08-13-2010, 04:24 PM
People aren't just offering their advice, they're offering their life experience.

I really value hearing others' stories.

Sometimes what I need to hear is not an authority saying: "You should solve it this way ..." but some real person like me saying: "I had a similar problem, and this is what I did, and here is what worked, and here is what did not work, and here is what I'd do better."

Are you familiar with the term "crowd-sourcing"? Look it up, if you aren't. I think it's part of what people are doing when they post in a forum. It's okay to be part of the crowd offering your own life experiences.

And, in my experience, no one knows more about calories & weight loss than a fat girl. Really. My fat friends in general are more knowledgeable about this stuff than my thin friends who never had to think about it or consciously work at changing their life habits.

Further, what a lot of us want is empathy, and who better to give that than someone else like us?

amyleigh
08-13-2010, 04:55 PM
i felt the same way when i first joined, then i realized something. we're all here for the same reason. i'd rather get advice from someone who has gone through it, or is going through it now. i know i give the best advice when i'm struggling with the same thing, even if i'm not listening to myself.

plus, the site is 3 fat chicks...not 3 skinny chicks willing to dole out advice to fat chicks. we all come here with the expectation that the advice is coming from someone who is living through it, or has lived through it. if we wanted advice from the skinny one, we'd turn to our friend (who we all secretly despise) who can eat three entire pizzas and not gain a pound.

i've realized that this site is for advice and SUPPORT and even if i give someone advice that i may not follow, or they may not follow, they know i still care because i took the time to read their question and respond. they know that whether they agree with what i say or not, i'm here for them. really, that's what this site is for me, and i think for a lot of us. so you go and you give your advice and you shout it from the rooftops..ok maybe not the rooftops. if your neighbors are like mine they may call the police thinking you've gone crazy...but you get the point :)