I'm just about at my wit's end. I don't think alvinis eating right and he won't let me tell him a thing!!! I don't think he's getting nearly enought protein and I don't know what to do about it unless it would be to slip some protein powder in something he will eat.
He says he can't eat meat because it sits "heavy" in his pouch and makes him throw up. He quit drinking the protein shakes of a morning because he says they make him constipated and he's scared to death he'll get another blockage.
What will happen if he doesn't eat enought protein? Another thing that has me really scared is that he's started getting up in the middle of the night eating again. He says he's never hungry, but if that's the case why does he eat during the night?
he went to the doc this week and he's only lost about 10 pounds this month. I guess it's normal for the rapid weight loss to slow down, but I see an old pattern starting to emerge here and I don't know how to handle it because he becomes very offensive if I say anything about it.
Any words of wisdom as to what I should do or not do?
10-13-2002, 12:07 PM
geeze louise, barb!!!! as if you two aren't dealing with enough stressful stuff right now!!!!!!
just a couple of quick thoughts, and i'll be thinking more about this as well.
first, you might have to go behind his back on this one, and talk to the doctor on your own. you've said that the hospital where he had the surgery has one of the best programs [and from what i've seen on the internet, you're right!!!!]. that suggests that they have some experience and support for you folks. it might mean a consultation with a dietician. but start with the doc.
in the meantime [because old alvin won't go to any appts willingly!!! that's come through LOUD AND CLEAR from your posts], you can sneak baby food meat into just about anything, including gravy [kind of like a thickener]. and if he's having trouble with meat [yes, it does kind of sit heavy, and some folks just can't tolerate chicken at all!!!!], gravy helps, but also THE RULES: tiny bites, chew everything to a paste, eat slowly.
as for the constipation, i suggest a couple of things. first and foremost, metamucil. he needs the fiber. and i don't blame him for a second about being afraid of another blockage. and try another protein shake. there are a number on the market. one of the easiest to tolerate [even though i feel like i've swallowed a jellyfish every time i drink one] are the isopures. they look like weird koolaid. and taste kind of like it too.
protein bars? i think they're gross and disgusting, but many people really like them.
one product that we've gotten out here [the manufacturer is just over the delaware river in pennsylvania] is protein cakes. they're made with whey powder, and each slice has about 22 grams. and 120-150 calories. they've been a life saver for many people. the company is LES in Lehigh Valley, PA, and they'll set anyone up as a distributor as long as they have a company.
they come in 4 flavors: vanilla, banana, chocolate, and marble. folks are making french toast with the vanilla and banana, and spreading peanut butter on the chocolate ones. i like to toast them, and top them with some fruit, and add a couple of tablespoons of light cream [so shoot me!!!!] shortcake!!!! YUMMMM.
another way to get them is to contact the GNC in CLinton NJ or Mansfield, NJ and they'll send you a box of 12 for a 15.00 shipping and handling fee, plus the cost, which is currently 3.29 each. a little pricy, but a very very easy-to-eat, convenient way to get the protein in. if you'd like phone numbers, addresses, let me know.
not every GNC carries them, as most GNCs are corporate and allowed to carry ONLY the GNC line. these two are privately owned by a husband and wife [who are just fascinated and supportive of the WLS, by the way], and that's why they can stock these cakes.
some things that help make the meat eating easier: meatballs [with very little breadcrumbs], chili [just about the best, it's nearly all protein with just a little soupiness], stewed anything [chicken and dumplings, light on the dumplings], anything with ground meat, thinly sliced anything [veal cutlets, pounded chicken cutlets, pounded pork tenderloins]
and, if you'd like, the nurse who ran the obesity center where i had my surgery has recently left there to start her own business, and she's available to ANYONE. and you can ask her questions through her website. www.partnershipinweightcontrol.com
tell her i suggested that you contact her [her name is mary], and remember, she's had the surgery as well, as she said, in the BC era [before carnie!], so she's an old hand. and she's seen everything.
she also knows of a few products that make the protein needs easier.
if alvin doesn't get his protein, he'll be losing his muscle and jeopardizing his long-term weight loss and health. and this habit of midnight grazing HAS to stop, but you knew that. it sounds to me as if everything you two have had to cope with over the past few months is stressing him out and he's turning to his old buddy, his old coping mechanism: FOOD. and his doctor needs to be aware of this.
keep us posted, barb. this is a tough one.
10-13-2002, 06:38 PM
Well, honestly, I think Jiff gave you some terrific advice!! Being a post-op herself, she knows what she's talking about.
Truthfully, the 1st thing that popped into my mind, even before I read Jiff's reply, was to go see Alvin's doctor alone. I don't even see it as being underhanded, but, as an attempt to seek advice on ways to help Alvin, AND, to help him help himself!! I would make an appt. as soon as possible and get any advice you can. Especially about the nightime snacking. True, not getting enough protein can cause problems, but.......snacking can potentially set him back a long way! Also, since I'm assuming you do the grocery shopping, then you might need to rid your house of any foods that are a temptation to him and replace them with acceptable foods that are low cal and hi protein.
I'm sure if Alvin wants to cheat, he'll find a way. I can only imagine how difficult it is to break that horrid habit of turning to food!! But, you can help him by not having any snacks in the house. Make sure you check everywhere, too, just in case he tries to hide stuff!!
Anyway, I'm sorry he's being a bit of a stinker right now!! I hope he will come back to realizing why he did this and how much he's already benefitted from this surgery. His life is on the line, so I pray he'll be good and work hard at getting healthy. We're here for you if you need us!! Take care and God Bless....
Surgery Date: Dec. 17th, hopefully!!!
10-18-2002, 12:04 PM
I finally got the nerve to talk to Alvin, and :judge: would you believe it, he agreed with everything I had to say. He said he knew he was eating at night just out of "habit" and that he knew he had to stop it now before it got worse, and he KNEW he had to pay more attention to what he was eating. I told him since he agreed with me, then I didn't have to go throught the list of reasons I had prepared, and he said no, he knew all the reasons.
So now let's see if he stops. Thanks for all your imput and support. This is a hard time for me as well as him.