Lately it's been hitting just how big I am, I mean I obviously knew or else I wouldn't have gotten gone plan.. but but JUST HOW big has been making me panic lately. I keep thinking oh my gosh I'm so huge I'm going to have a heart attack, My knees are going to give out me, etc etc etc.. and I just feel like this weight is falling off soooo slowly... I've been on plan for a month and half and am only at 11.9 lbs lost. last year when I went on plan I lost that the first week!
this time is different though I am not excersizing as much as last time I would love to but my schedule has been making it very hard to get in formal work outs. I try to move more in general But I dont have the dedicated gym time I used too. This time I am also realizing that it really is my way of life from here on out it's not a diet to get me to lose weight this is how i will eat forever and I am fine with that. but with that reasoning I have allowed my self to eat special things on special occasions now where as last time I was so strict I wouldnt even allow myself a bite of my annviersary cake on me and hubby's 5 year anniversary. and If I had something that I felt was empty calories like a sugar free pudding or a special k bar I would beat myself up. Anyways i have realized I CANT live life like that and certainly not forever. SO this time is differnt in that I guess i'm not "so strict"
I'm loosing, just loosing slower then I'd like. and I feel panicked by it. like it's hopeless.. I DONT feel like giving up I dont at all an I WONT I refuse too go down with out a fight but I keep visualizing myself going down regardless of how hard I fight...I dont' feel like I can win because I'm so far gone! And I just don't know how I ever let it get this bad to begin with... even though there is no physically evidence other then that of normal aches and pains of every day live working a long day etc.. I can't help but mentally feel like something terrible is going to happen to me and it's going to happen because I'm so over weight. I get regular check ups I have great blood pressure no diabetes, good cholesterol levels etc.. I'm actually very fortunate form some one my size health wise. I don't know... I just feel overwhelmed.. I know slow and steady wins the race and that is the approach I wanted to take this time bu i feel like I need to make more drastic changes to speed it up a bit before something awful happens to me. but yet if I get uber strict with my "diet" and deprive myself I feel like i'm just setting myself up for failure.. ugh... anyways any one feel this way?
Panic is not your friend. It just increases your stress. So take some deep breaths and remind yourself that right now, in this moment, you are OK.
Just keep going, and perhaps add a walk every day--at your lunch hour, or after work in a mall--something like that. Make sure you have good walking shoes, and don't try to push it.
Your quote says that you can lose 10 pounds 14 times. Well, that's what you've been doing! And at the rate you're going, that means you'll be done in roughly a year and a half, maybe less. Now that is not bad! The main thing is that you make sure you're getting good nutrition while following your eating plan. Stick with it!
You're not "far gone"--you don't have diabetes, and you don't have high blood pressure. You can still walk. Take some deep breaths...
Well definitely start counting your calories if you haven't already, you could probably get by with eating less and losing a bit more. Just make sure your caloric intake is very wholesome and filling (proteins, fibers). But if you don't want to cut back anymore, don't panic it appears you're still losing just slower. Diet alone is effective, just slower. So if you can stay committed, think about it like; "I'm living a much healthier lifestyle, I will ultimately lose the weight".
Last edited by blindcantaloup; 08-07-2010 at 06:44 AM.
but yet if I get uber strict with my "diet" and deprive myself I feel like i'm just setting myself up for failure.
I finally viewed it (still do) that the deprivation comes from eating those foods and REMAINING overweight. You are depriving yourself of the best life possible. Of giving yourself the best chance at a disease free life. Of energy, stamina, vitality, productivity, choices, less embarrassment. Of increased self confidence, self worth, self respect and sooo much more. You are depriving your self of a life full of more joy and LESS WORRIES.
I too was like you, I was CERTAIN that it was just a matter of time before something *terrible* happened. I felt like a walking time bomb. I had would lay awake at night planning my funeral. Each and every one of those type worries have completely ceased. Completely.
You mention slow weight loss - are you counting your calories? Are you consistent with them? Your measurements and portions accurate? Any cheat meals or days - because even one day a week *off* can easily wipe out any deficit created the other 6 days.
You have to come to the conclusion that you can't have it both ways - the high calorie/high quantity food AND to be the healthiest/best/most optimal you possible.
I know it's hard to see it right now, but once you get into it, once you change your habits, this new way of life will be automatic, natural and yes - enjoyable to you.
I think people make it harder than need be, by adding in so many treats and *allowing* themselves to go off plan so *easily*. It not only makes the journey slower, but it makes it harder because your cravings don't die down for those foods.
I wanted to make this as easy (and enjoyable) as possible, and though initially it may be harder to stay very strict (a couple or few weeks worth), down the very near road it makes is MUCH easier. You've got to get past the temporary, initial discomfort of telling yourself no and incorporating the good habits into your life.
You have to hang on tight, while the sacrifices seem much more than the rewards. So the sooner you DO get to that reward stage, it's practically a breeze.
But DO make sure you've got delicious, healthy lower calorie meals and snacks to eat. Ones that taste good and are good for you - long after you're done chewing. Raise your standards. Require more from yourself. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Reach. Stretch. Grow.
Eating healthy is no deprivation. It is no burden or hardship, no prison sentence - but a key to freedom and a better life. It will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even know were closed.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 08-07-2010 at 08:03 AM.
I think people make it harder than need be, by adding in so many treats and *allowing* themselves to go off plan so *easily*. It not only makes the journey slower, but it makes it harder because your cravings don't die down for those foods.
My problem was exactly the opposite: I would be too strict. I have this terrible macho streak, and I would feel like anything over 1200 calories was "giving in" and "going off plan"--but at 300 pounds and in my 20s, 1200 calories was much, much too low (as was 900 in my teens). I would become slow and stupid and cranky, my work and relationships would suffer, and finally I would decide that I was just too weak and pathetic to do this and go back to my old ways.
This time, allowing myself to start high--2200 calories at first, though I cut that down to 1800 pretty quickly--really made all the difference in the world. On 1200 at 300, I NEVER stopped craving food. Every single day took all my willpower, and I was a bomb--all it took was some very stressful event to ruin everything, because that would take some of my will to deal with and I would have nothing left to avoid eating.
I agree with you that it's better to go ahead and accept that this is a major change, and that it's better to never go off plan. But I think some people might interpret that as "The stricter plan is always the better plan" and that sort of thinking was my worst enemy.
I have this terrible macho streak, and I would feel like anything over 1200 calories was "giving in" and "going off plan"--but at 300 pounds and in my 20s, 1200 calories was much, much too low
I didn't say that *strict* meant adhering to 1200 calories. I'm not sure where you got that from my post.
I meant strict as in - setting yourself some boundaries. Setting up some rules and boundaries. *I* had to limit my choices. I couldn't eat whatever, whenever. Not IF I wanted to be that slim, trim, active, fit, healthy person that I always longed to be. When *I* left the door too open, it always swung open WIDE - and led to devestation. Making definite NO's took away that "should I?/shouldn't I?", that "oooh, just this once, "tomorrow is another day", equations that ALWAYS LED TO DISASTER. You take those *things* off the table, you don't make it an option TO have them - disaster averted.
One does have to realize and come to terms with the fact that there absolutely HAS to be some *restrictions*, though that restrictions are not truly restrict-ing.
One can't go on overfeeding oneself. There has to be some limits.
Limits are a good thing. A life without limits, rules, restrictions leads to chaos. Turns out having these rules, these *so-called* restrictions are a good thing. Not the horror I always feared it would be. It's freed me up to have my best life possible.
Life is full or rules, regulations and yes restrictions. We have them all the time, even self imposed ones, in other areas of our life - holding down jobs, parenting, marriage, money management, etc.
I'm not sure why having self imposed restrictions on food is looked down upon so much.
Quote:
"The stricter plan is always the better plan" and that sort of thinking was my worst enemy.
We're definitely using strict in a different sense of the word here. I think it's hard to get ones thoughts across over the internet.
But anyway, I think it's important to stick to YOUR plan, whatever that plan may be. And of course, being open to tweak it as necessary.
You must look for the joy in this, not the dread. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle is a wonderful way to live - once you get there. But you DO have to get there.
I understand you, but I feel like there is some ambiguity that might confuse others. I agree completely that there have to be limits, and that there's no point in having limits if you don't stick to them all the time. My favorite analogy is that observant Jews don't eat pork for "special occasions" or "because that was all they had"--they plan ahead or they do without. In the same way, I wouldn't eat insects unless it were literally life or death--so why should I eat off plan when it isn't life or death?
But I just feel like people tend to swing from one extreme to another, and that it is really important to have a reasonable, moderate PLAN--not, as many people do, thinking that an extreme plan is "better" and then, when they realize (quite rationally) that they can't stick to it perfectly, they justify going off plan erratically. For people caught in that trap (and I think it's pretty common), saying "You've got to stick to your plan, just tough it out until it gets easier" is not a solution. They have to make the plan reasonable.
I will admit in this case I am particularly worried, as the OP has mentioned in other threads she is on a low calorie plan. If that low-calorie plan is unsustainable, she might well be better off eating 200 more healthy calories a day than falling off the wagon several unregulated times a month. Just trying harder to stick to the lower calories won't work.
Shmead, I was unaware of the the OP's low calorie plan. It wasn't mentioned in this here post and I hadn't seen it elsewhere.
I will say that being hungry was NEVER an option for me, nor will it be. That I decided from the get go. I WAS willing to give up certain foods (initially at least), but I was never, ever willing to be hungry. NEVER. That would absolutely not work for me. Which is probably why I am SUCH a big proponent of eating high quality, satiating foods. Empty calories DON'T work for me. Actually the OP did mention some empty calorie foods - hmmmm. Again, not knowing the plan, sounds like this plan could use a bit of tweaking...
Oh, I mentioned I was willing to give up certain foods, but being hungry was not an option - one more thing I was not willing to do - eat boring, bland, tastless food. So for me, finding, delicious healthy, lower calorie (& satiating) foods was also a very big must. When you're eating healthy delicious ON PLAN foods, it is much easier to avoid OFF plan foods.
For me, it was a combination of not only finding a plan that I COULD stick to, but finding one that I was WILLING to stick to. One that I was willing to adapt to. It it IS about adapting to it. As great as my plan was/is, it DID take some time getting used to it. For it to become habitual, automatic and delightful.
Mariam, the wonderful thing about weight loss is that your body responds in positive ways FAR before you reach goal. Your body is already responding in way you probably can't see. Perhaps lowered BP or better blood sugar readings. It won't be long before the knee pain goes away or the back pain or whatever. If you can focus on just another 40 pounds or so, you will start to see some major changes that will make every pound lost worth maintaining. Every pound at any time is always worth maintaining! Just remember that.
And I have to agree with what Robin meant. For me, giving into cravings or cheats or whatever people want to call it...makes it far harder than just putting them off limits. I have found three triggers for me: pop, glazed almonds (I dunno why) and writing. Apparently I eat when I write. So pop and glazed almonds are off the table. It's far easier to make them off limits than to indulge and fight further cravings. As for writing, I started writing while walking on my treadmill so I can't snack and don't want to either.
Cravings are monsters. Your body really can come to a point where you no longer want those things...until you indulge in them just one time.
first of all, I love your avatar pic, really adorable!
wow, could I totally relate to your post!! I can't tell you what approach (strict eating or allowing goodies) is the right one for you. I got up to 330 actually, as my highest weight. I had all kinds of problems, legs hurting, stamina, sleep apnea, acid reflux, etc. I didn't have high blood pressure and was not (as far as I knew) diabetic, I'm sure I was prediabetic.
I did start off having 1 day off a week, with the condition that I couldn't eat anything until I felt overfull. And didn't have a strict policy about goodies. I ate chocolate and had ice cream every Friday. (I had real issues with binging and compulsive overeating.) The weight came off slowly for me (like 10, 15 lbs in a year, so very slowly). I built up my exercise regime and got myself into a pattern, walking, exercising at home. Then I joined a gym. I've cut back on the goodies, went from a day off to a meal off, to a goodie snack once a week (like Friday night popcorn).
It's totally not hopeless! I get into that place where I panic about speeding things up, and freak out about not making progress, not making faster progress, etc. But I will say that I am tremendously more healthy now than I was then, I don't binge eat any longer. I get frustrated but know I'll find my way down further weight wise, and will get even healthier. Robin says to focus on the habits, and I do believe that's true. Find out what works for you. You'll do it.
lots of factors go into weight loss, calories, exercise, metabolism, age, etc., mental outlook, emotional issues. it's hard to compare one person's experience with anothers.
oh, I should add that I did have foods I had to keep away from completely at first, no doritos in the house for example, potato chips. but I did eat them, bought small bags and shared with bf.
Last edited by dragonwoman64; 08-07-2010 at 10:38 AM.
You see that's another thing - adding in those *cheats* slows down weight loss, not just because of the initial caloric intake - but because I believe it lead to MORE *cheats* and MORE *cheats*. You slow down your weight loss, you then get a feeling like "screw this", I might as well have so and so - and than you slow down you weight loss more. You lose steam, motivation, whatever you want to call it. And it always feels like a battle - because the good habits than don't get ingrained in you - and THAT'S what makes this *so hard*.
It may sound *crazy*, and hard to believe, but making rules, definite NO's, limitations, restrictions makes this EASIER, not harder.
I know. I was one of them that used to think it sounded INSANE and like no way in **** can I possibly ever do this.
You can ask every single person who's gotten to goal and has stayed there (and those well on their way), that this *method* is a G-dsend. Not the devil.
If someone has a set calorie limit, and they PLAN for ice cream and/or chocolate one day a week while staying on target, it is not a cheat. It is part of their PLAN.
Different people use different approaches, and what's right for one person isn't right for another. The point is the PLAN.
A "cheat" is eating something that you don't count into your allotment and try to pretend didn't happen. That won't work in the long run, I think, because it's always easier not to count than it is to count.
When I was at my highest weight of 270 I would lay awake at night thinking about all the bad things that might happen to me, or rather, would happen to me in a matter of time if I didn't get healthier. I was terrified I was going to have a heart attack, stop breathing while I was sleeping, not be able to walk because my knees hurt so much... And so on. When I decided to get healthy I had moments of "But whats the use? I'm so big something is going to happen before I can even get started." But I found out quick you can't let the panic slow you down! If you start to give in to the panic, you've already lost. But from what you're saying, it's not slowing you down at all! You've lost almost 12 lbs in 6 weeks, thats 2 lbs a week! Thats AWESOME! If you lose 2 lbs a week for a year you'll lose over 100lbs!
So I say stick with the plan you're on, it's working! If you want to add some exercise but can't get to the gym, maybe try a workout dvd or going for a walk outside. Most of all, take a deep breath and try your best to relax. This is working, you are doing great, now it's just a matter of sticking with it.
thank you all so much! my plan is calorie counting The days I exercise I aim to eat 1500-1700 calories depending on how hard I worked out on days I barely move I aim to be 1300-1500- I've stuck to my plan quite well. I do allow my self "treats" for example yesterday I had 2 tablespoons of m&m's I planned for it and it didn't send me into a downward spiral and I was able to satisfy my sweet tooth with it the rest of the day I ate healthy mostly whole foods that were totally nutritious for my body-- What I don't agree with as far as cheating on my plan is compulsively giving into cravings- and eating whatever and when ever I want-to me that is not acceptable but eating sweet treats as long as worked into plan I am allowing myself to do. I don't allow myself whole days or even whole meals off plan- but I will let myself have a 1/4 of a cup of my grandamas potato salad at a family function and not feel guilty about it and I will reserve 100-200 calories out of my day fro something that just feels indulgent and yes is probably nothing but empty calories I feel like I enjoy the approach I have finally taken I feel like it's the balance. I just don't feel like it's fast enough that is my problem I feel like before I make a significant change something awful will happen and I will have started this too late....
thank you all for reading- I think I just needed to vent last night
Miriam, in my opinion, what you are describing is a happy medium in this debate and pretty on par with what I do.
As I said above, I know my triggers, and they're off limits. But Chocolate chips? Nearly daily? Popcorn? Almost every night. That's real living for me and they're on plan, part of my daily calories.
It works for me, but I also exercise like a crazy person, so I can afford a few extra calories.
I highly suggest you find a way to get over your mental time line. That right there has been the KEY to my success. I had given up time and time again for ten years until I found that one little mental shift. Once I figured out that this was going to happen on its own timeline, I found success.
Have you heard me spout out yet about how the biggest part of my plan is having made a one year commitment to being on plan? For one year, no matter what, I want to see where I will be if I give this my all. The moment I changed my goal from "I want to lose 100 pounds" to "I want to be on plan for one year"...a miracle happened. Suddenly the scale lost all its power. Well, not suddenly. I've had lots of mental ah-ha's along the way. But truly, even when the scale does not cooperate, it doesn't matter, because I'm still on plan. And at this point I can honestly say it's easy. That year mark is almost here and there's no way I'm going back! I'm now firmly entrenched in some pretty darn good habits.
panic...
Every pound at any time is always worth maintaining! Just remember that.
that is my problem I feel like before I make a significant change something awful will happen and I will have started this too late....
