100 lb. Club - My update for friends

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10-11-2002, 11:31 AM
Hi everyone. As you know, court was set for Tuesday, the 8th. With alot of thinking it through and help from my therapist, I decided that I would not take it to trial. I would allow him to plead guilty to the plea bargain. I am sure that there are many ppl who wouldn't agree with my decision. But this is a personal decision, and it is the best one for me.
The plea bargain is guilty to 2nd degree Sex Abuse.

He will get 3 yrs probation and a lifetime membership on the Sex Offender Registry. It will follow him for life and he will need to register in every town that he lives in.

I will be given a 3 year order of protection. If he shall break the order in any way, the original charges will be brought up again and he will have to serve 10-15 yrs.

It wasn't an easy decision. But it's the best one for me. I refuse to spend the next year of my life defending who I am. Wether he does 5 days or 5 years, it will not change anything nor help me heal.

Well..he adjourned court till November 19th. Now, I am unsure if he will be pleading guilty or not to the plea bargain. Nothing is written in stone, so I may have to go to trial anyways. Time will tell.

I am still in therapy and have committed to 12 weeks. It's helping little by little. I have my moments.

Thank you again to everyone for their kind words, prayers and support. The amount of e-mails I have received overwhelmed me and touched a part of my heart I didn't know existed. This group has been the back bone for me at times of such chaos in my life. I have been through alot in the last 2 years. And I am so happy to know that some of the ppl who were there for me holding my hand, rooting me on..are still doing it. That is friendship. Wether through a PC or not. It is friendship..that I cherish. And for the people who have just joined us in the recent past...I thank all of you too for your kind words and thoughts.

Love to you all...

10-11-2002, 12:04 PM
Jenniffer :grouphug: ,

Sounds like you've thought this through, and I'm a strong believer in that you have to do what is best for YOU. So I commend you on your desicion and want to give ya big, big, HUGS!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

10-11-2002, 12:13 PM
I also feel that if you believe this is best for you, it is. Keep you chin up.

10-11-2002, 12:31 PM
I am so proud of you for starting therapy. I know it's going to help!! Sorry it got delayed...I hate it when things drag on. I think your decision is best for your well being.

:grouphug: for every day your need one!! :D

10-11-2002, 03:39 PM

Jeniffer, we're all here for you. I know your making the decisions that are right for YOU & that's the best thing to do. And I'm so glad that you're in counseling. I know that will help you through this.


10-11-2002, 07:01 PM
I like what you said about his sentence not changing anything for you or helping you to heal. It sounds like you're on the right track. :)

10-12-2002, 04:07 AM
The fact that he is being found as guilty is the most important thing, the sooner you can put this whole ordeal behind you the better off you'll be. I wish you all the best in your recovery and am glad your thinking about what is best for you and not letting other ppl push you into a trial.


10-12-2002, 11:09 AM
All that matters is that you are doing what is best for you! No need to explain a thing! :)

10-13-2002, 06:03 PM
Ooh this computer!!:mad:
I had this great post and it didnt take, and I had to get back into this page and it was lost I guess. Basically-just ditto what everyone else has said. Do what is right for yourself!! I am glad that guy will have to have this follow him for the rest of his life. If this happens to all these guys maybe some of them will wise up and not do this to begin with--they know they wont get away with it!

take care~

10-14-2002, 11:15 AM

10-14-2002, 10:13 PM
jenniffer.... you're doing just great, and he'll take the plea bargain. i'm sure of it. he KNOWS he did wrong. the only thing he's nervous about is the sex offenders registry. BFD!!!!! after what he's done??????

be strong. stay in your heart.

10-15-2002, 03:29 PM

Even though I haven't been around for a long time, your strength and dignity is so apparent in what you write. I've said prayers for you right here at the computer! What an inspiration!