Weight Loss Support - Don't diet? Just eat healthy?




View Full Version : Don't diet? Just eat healthy?


blonie123
08-04-2010, 03:41 AM
Okay, so I have been starting my weight loss journey, and I am totally sucking at it. I did join a gym, and I am happy about that at least, but I am still not sure about the whole dieting/food issue.

I just don't think I can do it. I hate feeling deprived. I hate feeling hungry. I don't understand how people aren't hungry on their plans. My friend on weight watchers told me to just eat an apple if I were hungry, and I felt even hungrier. I seem to get less hungry if I don't eat at all- weird huh?

A lot of times when I tell people I CANNOT stick to a diet they say....
DON'T DIET, JUST EAT HEALTHY!

Something about that is odd to me. How is eating healthy not a form of dieting? Same w/ weight watchers saying it isn't a diet. Or other programs saying they are "lifestyle changes".

To me, changing my eating habits and not eating what I want to eat is a DIET. I don't understand. I feel just as deprived counting calories, carbs, or fat grams as I do "eating healthy". The fact is, I don't really want grilled chicken instead of a steak and a baked potato w/ butter, and sour cream. I want the steak! I like healthy food, too, but I hate eating healthy when I really don't feel like it.

I always end up choosing the healthier option, and then later eating the fattening stuff on top of it!

What is wrong with me?! I mean, seriously, food should not be so important to me. It makes me feel so disgusted with myself.

My problem is not lack of knowledge, or that I won't exercise, or that I am in denial- my problem is FOOD.

How do I solve this? The more I think about trying to eat better, the more I just want to devour everything in sight!

This is so sad and frustrating for me. I want to be thin, energetic, and healthy, but I want food even more.


Rosinante
08-04-2010, 04:10 AM
It's true that 'all' we need to do is eat healthily (having first worked out from all the information thrown at us, what healthy actually is).

However many/most of us - me anyway - can't be trusted to make healthy choices without the rigidity of a 'diet' to support those choices.

I'm not a fan of any particular named diet - there is too much opportunity just to sell us stuff: kitchen scales, measuring cups, artificial foods - all stuff that we really Don't need, not at those prices anyway.

However, I am a fan of giving myself a set of rules and sticking to them. Mine are 1400 calories, no more than 110g carbs, 15g fibre, 100 fl oz water, daily logging in a programme that shows me how much I've still got left.

I know exactly what you mean by your last sentence - and well done for saying it, not many people are that brave. Most of the time I want the thin, energetic and healthy but left to my own devices and in the face of an unhealthy food that I'm desperate for, yes, I'd rather have the food, in that minute. With my Rules, I'm not left on my own to wrestle with those foods. My rule is that I don't eat X, so I don't.

I'm hoping that Rules will eventually lead to spontaneous healthy choices - but I suspect that's a long way off.

rockinrobin
08-04-2010, 04:50 AM
How is eating healthy not a form of dieting? Same w/ weight watchers saying it isn't a diet. Or other programs saying they are "lifestyle changes".

To me I say that I adhere to a healthy diet or that I keep to a healthy lifestyle or my diet consists of healthy foods. I am a health conscious person who eats well and exercises and that was my lifestyle change. In the past I didn't eat well. I didn't have rules and boundaries. I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted without giving it much thought. I ate recklessly. I don't drive recklessly, it was time to stop EATING recklessly.

This is so sad and frustrating for me. I want to be thin, energetic, and healthy, but I want food even more.

The truth is, you can't have it both ways. It just can't be. You can't be slim, trim, fit, healthy and THE BEST YOU POSSIBLE and remain eating the high calorie/high quantity foods. You must come to that realization.

And of course you must decide which it is that you want the MOST. The food - or the optimal you.

You spoke of deprivation. Well you have to look at it as eating irresponsibly as the deprivation. You are depriving yourself of a higher quality of life. You are depriving yourself of energy, stamina, self confidence, self worth, self respect and again - the very best possible you.

What is wrong with me?! I mean, seriously, food should not be so important to me. It makes me feel so disgusted with myself.


According to the sentence that I bolded, it doesn't sound to me like food is really doing all that much for you. If it makes you feel disgusted with yourself - why do you think you want it more than to be fit and trim? You may enjoy eating certain foods at the time, but than it seems to me that you are left remorseful and indeed - unhappy. It sounds to me as if the consequences are just too high. The benefits are coming at too high a price. Don't you deserve to have your food taste good AND be good for you? Don't you deserve the pleasure without the guilt/remorse/bad feelings? Stop settling for foods that just taste good - let them taste good and BE good for you - long after you're done chewing. Then it's a win/win situation.

For me that meant finding DELICIOUS yet healthy and lower calorie foods.

I want the steak! I like healthy food, too, but I hate eating healthy when I really don't feel like it.

It sounds to me as if you have to dig down deep and find the mature, responsible adult in yourself.

I'll go shopping for a new handbag and I see this beautiful Coach bag, but wow, it will set me back. It's waaaay too expensive, but you know what - this Franco Sarto bag is absolutely gorgeous too and it won't blow my monetary budget. I'll enjoy it immensely without going into debt. Wow, what a wise choice I just made.

And eventually you will it will come to be that you enjoy the healthy foods and THAT is what you WILL want, look forward to, enjoy and crave. But you have to get there.

Because I believe much of this is just *habit*. You get used to eating a certain way and that' that. It's what you're accustomed to, it's what you know, it's what you're used to. And THAT'S what you need to work on. Changing your HABITS. Working past the initial, temporary discomfort of saying no to yourself, of finding those delicious healthy foods, of having boundaries and limits, of eating carefully.

Because when you do become used to it, when it does become natural, normal, automatic and yes enjoyable - you will find that eating well, adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden or hardship. The real hardship is remaining fat and settling for second best when first best is well within your reach. Eating well you will find becomes a joy and a pleasure. It is not restrictive, it is no prison sentence - but a key to freedom. A key to freedom that will open up doors to you, more doors than you can possibly imagine, ones that you didn't even realize were closed.

Give it a chance. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Let those new habits form. Stretch. Reach. Grow. Conquer something new. Master a new skill. Discover who you were meant to be. :)


abidabbi
08-04-2010, 04:52 AM
I agree with both of you. I don't know if this will help but the way I try to think about it is that I have tried 'diets' before. Atkins, WW, starvation, fasting, cabbage soup. I lose weight, fast. And then put it all on plus some.

I think in my head a 'diet' is something which is so structured and rigid I don't find it helpful (some people do, I'm sure). I feel really uncomfortable going to someones house for dinner, say, and having to worry about what I'm eating/what they have put effort into making for me. So I find my particular method (which at the end of the day, is a diet, but not a diet which removes whole food groups or has a way of eating that doesnt allow some room for movement) quite easy. I do have rules, like you said Rosinante, I count calories and fats and in order to fill up and feel like I have energy I tend to naturally lean towards a full plate of veggies that make up 300 cals rather than a bar of chocolate for example. I love food (sometimes) but it just so happens that I have discovered I love food that loves me back. And I don't NEED a kitkat, it will still be there when I am at the weight I want.

These days, if I go out with friends or family I focus on how much I'm eating of the particula thing, be it pizza or indian or whatever, knowing I can go back to my own way later on. I don't snack and I generally know what I'm going to be eating that day so I plan to have room in my calorie allowance for meals out and days when I can't get to the gym.

I too hope that my rules mean I will re-train my body and brain to crave foods it needs, not foods it thinks it wants. Already I find I fancy an orange or a plate of asparagus.

blonie123 I don't know if any of this helps you, I think you've made the biggest step by realising you don't have the relationship you want with food (YET). But you know this and I think that puts you in a very powerful position. Because better the devil you know and all that! Are you eating enough? When you want to 'eat everything in sight' is it because you are actually hungry or are you stuck with thinking you need/want it? If you can't diet, don't. Like me, it doesnt work for some people. Maybe a food diary would show you where you're having problems or help you figure out what times of the day are worst. Then you could try to find out what causes you to feel out of control and say 'I dont need this, I am in control of what I eat and I am deciding to eat better because I WANT too'....

And look aat what you HAVE done. You've joined a gym, you want to be happy, slim and energetic and you've actually done something about it. I think you should give yourself credit where its due. You are willing to get up and exercise and that's a realy good thing...your already on the way to becoming who you want to be.

xxxx

abidabbi
08-04-2010, 04:55 AM
Sorry I was typing slooowly and Rockinrobin got in before me and said what I was trying to say in a much better way!!!!
xxx

ValRock
08-04-2010, 05:11 AM
I became morbidly obese by eating "healthy". Portion control is a big part of it, for me at least.

Sakai
08-04-2010, 05:54 AM
Do you find yourself being a 100% or nothing type person? If you're on a "diet" do you have to be on it 100% or why bother with it?
A "diet" should be about what you eat...not what you're allowed to eat.
I Made a "Lifestyle Change." As in I choose to change my lifestlye this way and no amount of standard american food advertisment or Norms is going to tell me what I can and can't put in my mouth. I do my own research and then i Make the choice if I want to eat it or not. You have to feel impowered...it's your body...your mouth. You want your body to be the best it can be...then you have to put the best in your mouth.
You don't have to feel like you're giving up your favorite foods forever. Because you're not.
I can eat like a saint all week and have my serving of cake and I won't feel the slightest amount of guilt whatsoever because I knew I did good all week and I knew just what I was putting in my mouth and I know I'll have a great week ahead.
Before I was one of those 100% or nothing people.. I could eat like a saint then the cake would haunt me if I didn't have it and 2 days later I would derail off my diet and burn in an explosion of cake, fatty and sweet stuff. You might have to give yourself some leway.
You want steak...eat it...Just not a steak the size of your dinner plate. lol
Truthfully...I never liked counting calories because I eat mostly homemade food and who has the time or the math skills to break down a homemade meal that way to find it's calorie/carb/fat content. besides...I'm a whole food eater most of the time and if it grew off a plant then it can't be that bad for you...it's when something comes with a lable of calories/fat/carbs that something must be bad for you. So I never bother counting calories.
Now If I want something and it happenes to have a lable and I look and it has a stupid amount of fat/sugar/calories.."Screw that, I can make this with a fraction of the crap that's in this." I'm very disgusted with the food on store shelves...it's hardly food.
You have to find your happy, comfortable medium. What healthy foods do you like? What unhealthy foods do you like? Is there a way you can make your unhealthy foods less unhealthy? Are you craving the same foods? Or is it just something about that food you crave? The crunch, the salt, the flavor, the memories? Cravings killed me for years...as you can see I've been around here for a long time to lose so little weight...but it's comming of slowing because I'm slowly getting rid of those cravings. I can't stomach 3/4 the food I use to eat anymore because I researched and heck if I'm loading my body with that stuff and it plain 'ol just dose not taste or even look good anymore.

Try not to think about it so much. I know for a lot of us, we have to think about food all the time, what to make ahead so we can make sure we eat healthy, what to avoid and so on. "Will their be healthy food at this place? or will I have to stick with the vegtable side dish all night?" I think for some..this goes away as it becomes second nature to us..old habits die hard, so it will take time.

soon you'll stop thinking- "No, I can't have that, my diet says it's not allowed." To "No I don't want that, it's not allowed in my healthy body."
Eh, sorry for rambling. I just know right where you're comming from. I suffered from this for many years. I hated "Diets" and what I was not allowed to eat no matter how much I really, really, really wanted it. and how much of a horible person I felt because I couldn't stay on diet and control what my own mouth was chewing on.

motivated chickie
08-04-2010, 06:02 AM
I pulled the definition of diet off of the internet.

1 a : food and drink regularly provided or consumed b : habitual nourishment c : the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reason d : a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one's weight <going on a diet>
2 : something provided or experienced repeatedly <a diet of Broadway shows and nightclubs — Frederick Wyatt>

The definition reminds me that a diet is simply the habit of daily eating. Your regular diet will determine your weight and your nutrition level. When we talk of dieting, we talk about eating to maintain a new weight. What you are eating now maintains your current weight. If you don't like your size, you will need to find a new daily diet to maintain a new weight.

What I wrote is pretty obvious, but it's also scary. It means change and developing new habits may be difficult. And for me, I was afraid to change because I used food like a drug. I ate to push away feelings and also I used to say that my life was miserable because I ate too much. I was stuck in a cycle of overeating and hating myself for it. I would say I wanted to be thin AND also eat whenever I wanted.

For me, I knew I couldn't keep my past diet because it had no food in it. I seriously ate food with no vitamins or fiber, only calories. I was overeating, but I was malnourished. It sounds like you eat real food, so you don't have to be so radical. I designed a plan that works for a lot of food addicts- no sugar, no flour, low stach, etc. I'm not on a low carb plan, but I stay away from foods that are high on the glycemic index. And I don't get that crazy, hungry feeling anymore.

One thing I should say about hunger is it's not that bad of a feeling. Now that I'm thinner, I get more hungry than I used to. I'm not living off of 2,000 calorie night time binges anymore. When I get hungry, it's usually before meal time. I used to be "hungry" all the time, which really wasn't hunger at all- it was my inner 2 year old demanding comfort through sugar.

When I noticed a weight loss on the scale, I couldn't believe it. My plan was working. And I dropped weight. I have had relapses and binges, but now I like my eating plan. And I go back to it my eating plan if I have an episode of emotional eating.

Good luck in your journey.

abidabbi
08-04-2010, 06:10 AM
Mtivated chickie...good point well made, you're where I'm heading to, controlling myself :) Well done x

srmb60
08-04-2010, 06:30 AM
This by Rosinante is actually quite profound
It's true that 'all' we need to do is eat healthily (having first worked out from all the information thrown at us, what healthy actually is).

JayEll
08-04-2010, 06:44 AM
blonie123, you're on a diet now. It's a high-fat, high-calorie diet. It has no upper limit on calories. If you stay on this diet, you will gain weight. I guarantee it.

As a start, it might help for you to consider your food choices with something other than your tongue. Children always want to eat the goodies, but good parents don't let them. Think of being a loving parent to yourself.

Losing weight, for someone who has become overweight/obese, is not about limitless choice. This has to be accepted.

When you look at a menu, consider more than what looks like it will taste the best. Think about nutrition, think about portion sizes. I ate steak while losing weight--but as Sakai said, not a steak the size of the dinner plate. I ate baked potato, too, but I had to consider how much to eat, and how much stuff to put on it. Sometimes I would add a half-tablespoon of butter with some salt and pepper. A good baked potato tastes just fine this way. Now, I prefer that.

You might also consider counseling with a professional who has experience with food issues--to look into why food has such tremendous importance to you. But you don't have to solve that question completely before you begin to make changes.

Good luck!
Jay

sacha
08-04-2010, 06:53 AM
Don't be fooled by the occasional person who says "I'm not hungry eating X calories" (which is far less than what they ate before). Those people are rare. Those people may have a different mental mindset than you - and to be honest - a lot of them are probably not counting right either.

It is normal and very common to be a little hungry when eating below maintenance calories (not "diet").

If "dieting" (eating below maintenance) was done without effort, this site wouldn't exist. Nobody here would need help or support. Def not the case in reality :hug:

caryesings
08-04-2010, 08:17 AM
Boy did I recognize the "annoyance" that no matter what you call it (diet, way of eathing, lifestyle plan) a description of how to eat to lose weight invariably has you eating steamed vegetables instead of pepperoni pizza.

What works for me is calorie counting so that I could pick exactly the foods I like. I started with a fairly high calorie budget so that I wasn't initially changing much about what I was eating. Start out by eating what you want and just tracking it. When you discover what your average consumption is now, cut it by 10%. If you lose at a rate that you like, you've got it. If not, cut by another 10%. Repeat as needed until you find a level that lets you eat the food you want and lose weight.

A bit of magic happens. Once I found the scale going down, I kept making easy adjustments to keep me satisfied but cut the calorie count further. For example, making a 3 oz. hamburger instead of 4 oz. A milkshake made with skim milk and lowfat ice cream instead of an ice cream bar.

Now that I'm closing in on goal, I find I'm eating a diet I would have found discouraging and too extreme when I started. But I still don't eat steamed vegetables. And the pizza is homemade with turkey pepperoni.

rockinrobin
08-04-2010, 08:29 AM
I became morbidly obese by eating "healthy". Portion control is a big part of it, for me at least.

Good point - what I do is eat HEALTHY foods COMBINED with counting calories.

But I consider counting calories to be PART of my healthy lifestyle. Because the single healthiest thing we can do is to be a healthy weight. And one can easily *fool* themselves by thinking/saying that they are eating healthy FOODS, not paying attention to the AMOUNT of healthy foods they are ingesting.

blonie123, you're on a diet now. It's a high-fat, high-calorie diet.

Perfect way to put it. Because we are all on some sort of diet - the types of foods that we eat, the diet that we adhere to.

rachinma
08-04-2010, 10:18 AM
Well, I'm all for eating (and being) healthy. :)

But you can eat healthy and not lose weight. Losing weight is hard and you have to be proactive about it. You need to create a calorie deficit -- either through consuming less or moving more. Usually, this requires significant changes to your "diet."

I eat almost exclusively whole foods, but unless I'm actively monitoring what I eat and restricting calories, I will not lose weight. My diet, though, is healthy.

QuilterInVA
08-04-2010, 11:34 AM
If you are overweight you are depriving yourself of good healthy. Would you rather eat anything and everything and end up in the doctor's office? It's funny, we feel deprived of food but don't feel bad about the harm overeating can do.

Martina
08-04-2010, 11:59 AM
I lost my first ten pounds by eating healthy. I didn't count calories either. I cut out all drinks except water, ate an oat based cereal I made myself using oats, almonds, and assorted dried fruits. I ate only half a cup of that every morning. I had small meals throughout the day, and I excercised!!!

AND-- if I had a craving, I ate it-- but a small portion. And you know what?? I started craving healthy foods like raw veggies. And I exercised as well.

Things happened, life stress, etc. and I started eating how I did before, an unhealthy diet. I have not gained any weight but I have not lost any.

Anyway, thats my experience so far.

bellona
08-04-2010, 12:20 PM
I know a lot of people probably disagree with this viewpoint, but I allow myself planned cheat days. They were frequent at first, sometimes friday and saturday. I didn't count calories when I first started really trying to lose weight in January. I just picked a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner with protein and veggies (fruit instead in the morning). Snacking is another thing that never really worked for me, unless it was just fruit and vegetables. I don't like constantly thinking about what I'm going to eat. You can even just keep repeating meals until you get sick of them.

Anyway, I was hungry for awhile, yeah, but the planned cheat day just made it seem less like "depriving" myself of the craving and more like "putting it off" for another day. Usually, when the cheat days came around, I'd see a change in the scale or feel so much better that the junk food just didn't seem so appealing, so I just had a mostly healthy day with maybe a more caloric/rich meal in the evening. I think for about 2 weeks out of the whole first 4 months did I actually just go crazy on a cheat day, and they were early on. I don't know if this would work for you, but it worked really well for me. I don't have technical planned cheat days now, but if I want say, pizza or chips or something I think "ok, I can have it on saturday if I still want it then." I usually forget about it by the time saturday rolls around. It's kind of a mind game to avoid feeling deprived, I guess. Sort of like telling a child they can have a cookie after dinner, then the child's already full and doesn't want the cookie anymore, haha.

I only counted calories for a short period of time after I lost the first 30 lbs, and I hated it. So many people have such good success with it, but I absolutely hate keeping track of it. I love planning workouts and meals, but counting every calorie that goes into my mouth just does not work for me.

thesame7lbs
08-04-2010, 12:36 PM
First of all, I just want to second *everything* that RockinRobin said. Perfect.

Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you read the Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet per se. It's a book about using the principles of Cognitive Behavior Therapy to make your weight loss plan work.

I think the principles in Beck would help you:
1. Understand your priorities and internalize them. You say you "want to be thin, energetic and healthy" but you want food more. Is that really true? If it really is true, maybe you should just accept your body as it is and eat whatever the heck you want. (I am saying this as devil's advocate, of course... I personally would not recommend a lifestyle that leaves you overweight, lethargic and unhealthy)
2. Address your issues with being hungry. It's really not the end of the world, after all.
3. I'm just guessing here, but you might have some issues with fairness. A lot of us say, "I have this friend and she's skinny and eats whatever she wants. Fast food and cake and beer every day and she's a size 00. It's not fair." That's part of why we feel so deprived when we can't eat whatever we want -- because we know someone who can. Well, life's not fair.

In closing, a great quote from 3FC member BeachPatrol (or, technically, her mama): You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want.

Gold32
08-04-2010, 12:54 PM
There's some really good things being said here. I hope they're helping. Expanding upon some of them...

Look at your last sentence. What do you really want? Do you really want to lose weight? Do you really want to be healthy?

No one can help you with this, because these are decisions you have to make yourself. You have to figure out for yourself what is really stopping you. You like food more? No, you really don't. Here's the choice: eat whatever you want because you "like food" more, or make the changes necessary to be healthy. There are no other options.

FYI- there is nothing "wrong" with you. Many, many people struggle with this. I did. It really does come down to making the choice and sticking with it. There may be the underlying issues, but you'll have to work them out for yourself. Thesame7lbs had some good thoughts on this as well, particularly with the issue of "feeling hungry". Personally- it sounds as if your idea of a diet is too restrictive. There are plenty of people here (me included!) who still eat the foods they love, by calorie counting and making healthy replacements. Or having a "cheat" day, or a maintenance instead of dieting day. It's not like eating healthy means you can never have a cupcake again. That's not what it means at all. But you'll stop eating so many of them, and you WILL find healthy foods that you love.

Now that I'm thinking more about it, my weight loss journey began when I LOWERED my calories even further. Why? Two reasons- 1) I began to realize how satisfied I really was at the lower number, not starving at all, and 2) for certain things, the more I eat, the more I want to eat. I may be satisfied at 100 calories, and have room for 150, but if I eat 150, I crave more, regardless of how full I am. So I stick to 100.

Whatever the solution is for you, just know that "dieting" or "eating healthier" does not mean starving or no more "delicious" foods. If it did, no one would make it.

Karen925
08-04-2010, 01:15 PM
I ate healthy, used one plate, no snacks, no sweets except on limited occasions and gained weight. It isn't only about the types of food but the amounts as well.
Karen

ringmaster
08-04-2010, 02:17 PM
blonie123, I know where you are coming from. Food gives us instant right now satisfaction, but I think if being thin, energetic and healthy was instant we'd be picking thin over food. It's just being thin takes alot of work.

First, I'm a believer in counting calories, atleast for awhile till you get an idea of how small/big your portions should be and how much food in general you can eat. Counting calories gives you a little flexibility to have something not healthy. If you eat a healthy low-cal breakfast, snack and lunch, you can probably fit in the steak and potato for dinner (which isn't totally unhealthy btw).

Everyone is different, but just eating healthy hasn't always worked for me. If I stick to just healthy vegetables, fruit and protein it's easy for my calories to be too low (I noticed when I'm under a 1000 calories my weight loss does stall), add in some healthy grains (rice, bread) and it's easy to go over my calories.

I'm also guilty of eating the healthy food and then eating the 'bad' food later anyway, winding up eating even more then if I just went for the unhealthy food in the first place. so if I really really want something I try to work it into my calories and practice portion control. Not sure if it's the same for you, but it's way too easy to overeat unhealthy food, so being able to have a portion and practice that control to not eat the whole thing or whole bag does take work.

You said you are going the gym. I find exercising really encourages me to eat the right foods and stay on track. I want to fuel my workouts and not undo all the hard work I did. When I couldn't exercise for awhile, I also gave up on my diet and eating healthy. So definitely keep going to the gym, it may give you the kick you need. :)

Beach Patrol
08-04-2010, 03:30 PM
Give it a chance. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Let those new habits form. Stretch. Reach. Grow. Conquer something new. Master a new skill. Discover who you were meant to be. :)

That was BEAUTIFUL Robin! - I mean, seriously!!! And those words of wisdom can be applied to many other things in life as well as dieting! - 5 stars!!!!!

Beach Patrol
08-04-2010, 03:42 PM
Okay, so I have been starting my weight loss journey, and I am totally sucking at it. I did join a gym, and I am happy about that at least, but I am still not sure about the whole dieting/food issue.

I just don't think I can do it. I hate feeling deprived. I hate feeling hungry. I don't understand how people aren't hungry on their plans. My friend on weight watchers told me to just eat an apple if I were hungry, and I felt even hungrier. I seem to get less hungry if I don't eat at all- weird huh?

A lot of times when I tell people I CANNOT stick to a diet they say....
DON'T DIET, JUST EAT HEALTHY!

Something about that is odd to me. How is eating healthy not a form of dieting? Same w/ weight watchers saying it isn't a diet. Or other programs saying they are "lifestyle changes".

To me, changing my eating habits and not eating what I want to eat is a DIET. I don't understand. I feel just as deprived counting calories, carbs, or fat grams as I do "eating healthy". The fact is, I don't really want grilled chicken instead of a steak and a baked potato w/ butter, and sour cream. I want the steak! I like healthy food, too, but I hate eating healthy when I really don't feel like it.

I always end up choosing the healthier option, and then later eating the fattening stuff on top of it!

What is wrong with me?! I mean, seriously, food should not be so important to me. It makes me feel so disgusted with myself.

My problem is not lack of knowledge, or that I won't exercise, or that I am in denial- my problem is FOOD.

How do I solve this? The more I think about trying to eat better, the more I just want to devour everything in sight!

This is so sad and frustrating for me. I want to be thin, energetic, and healthy, but I want food even more.

Awwwww!!!!! :hug: I feel ya!!!! -

Can I just say that I think your problem MAY BE that you haven't found THE RIGHT DIET FOR YOU just yet. I mean, think about it! - there are 100's of different diets out there... not everyone succeeds on the same diet... what works for SOME may not work for others. And the way you've described it all, I think you're kinda like me.... you are NOT WILLING to give up YOUR FAVORITE FOODS because YOU WANT TO BE THINNER. Well, the good news is that YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!!! :dizzy: That's right! I said it! You don't HAVE to give up your favorite foods. But you do have to realize that you can't eat them "all the time"...

Even tho I am stuck on a plateau, I can say that what truly works for me is allowing myself foods that I love... all the while INCORPORATING more & more "healthy foods". You'll soon find that there are "healthy" foods that you LOVE and you'll begin CHOOSING them instead of the old stand-bys.

Sometimes it isn't about giving up certain foods, but rather watching portion sizes, staying away from 2nd helpings, etc. Then maybe SUBSTITUTING things like low-fat mayo for regular mayo, ground turkey instead of ground beef, etc.

Baby steps, Blonie.... baby steps! ;)

CarbsAreEvil
08-04-2010, 03:43 PM
Sweetheart, I definitely understand what you're talking about. "Healthy Eating" looks gross and boring. I listen to people go on and on about how great their yogurt taste and I'm like, uh huh, just don't go grabbing for a spoon when I get my Ben & Jerry's.

I tailor my diet to fit my needs at the moment. A month ago, I was able to really crunch down and count calories and eat healthy, so I did, and lost 20 pounds. This month, I want to eat whatever I please and so I do, I just make sure that it's only once a day and around lunch time. Sunday I went to Chili's and had the loaded fries and the paradise pie. Monday I had cookies and KFC, Yesterday I had a Burger, fries and toaster strudel. Lost 4 pounds since Sunday... And when I'm feeling like a cave woman and I want steak, burgers and chicken... I go low carb.

It works for me. I've lost a little over 100 pounds to date and I haven't gained it back. I know it's not the healthiest, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, my goal is to lose weight.

kaplods
08-04-2010, 03:45 PM
You can make small changes and see results. Small changes yeild small results, so you have to be ok with that. If you need large results to stay motivated, then you have to make large changes (and sometimes you still won't see large results, so you have to learn to change your expectations or you'll drive yourself batty).

But as for the "deprivation" there is also another alternative. You don't have to look at change as being necessarilly deprivation. Eating better doesn't have to be boring and horrible.

When you see healthy as the less tastey, unpleasant alternative, of course you're going to feel deprived. So find ways to make healthy tasty.

Baked chicken breast - healthy, but boring.

Boneless, skinless chicken thighs simmered in salsa and onions - Not only healthy, it tastes wonderful and is amazingly easy (if you're really lazy, you don't even have to slice and add the onion. Just the chicken cooked in salsa is very good), and it's at least as tasty as a boring grilled chunk o' meat.

You don't have to replace unhealthy/exciting foods with healthy/boring food. There are a lot of exciting/healthy foods.

It does require a change in mindset though. For me, it started with envying celebrities and weatlhy people who went to fancy spas to lose weight. Of course it would be easy to lose weight, I thought, if you had a chef preparing gourmet healthy meals, with exotic fruits and vegetables, and if you had someone arranging exciting and fun ways to exercise like horseback riding, swimming... and had massages and spa treatments to relax afterward.....

And I suddenly realized that I could at least try to replicate the spa experience. I had to be my own chef, personal trainer, spa manager and and activities director, but it was at least theoretically possible.

One of the first things I did, because I love fruit, is decide that I was going to splurge each week on exotic fruits and vegetables. It wasn't always a great experience, but it was always an adventure (I learned that I HATE persimmons, which is too bad, they're so cute - but it was an adventure to try one).

You can choose to feel deprived or you can choose to feel blessed. You can find the adventure in "healthy changes" or you can choose to mourn the losses.

I'm not saying it's always easy to make healthy changes (if it were, I'd be losing a lot faster), but it doesn't have to be sad and horrible either.

stillwagontsl
08-04-2010, 03:49 PM
My problem is not lack of knowledge, or that I won't exercise, or that I am in denial- my problem is FOOD.

Let me start by saying that this is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I don't think your problem is food. I think the issue lies with your attitude toward food and weight loss. I read alot of negatives in your post. You say: I just don't think I can do it. I hate feeling deprived. I hate feeling hungry. I don't understand how people aren't hungry on their plans.

Instead of looking at those things, you need to start telling yourself that you CAN...

I CAN do it.
I CAN find foods that make me feel satisfied.
I WILL learn to manage my hunger.
I DESERVE to be healthy.

Losing weight isn't easy. No one in this forum ever said it is. I've been trying to get to a healthy weight now for over 10 years. There aren't any quick solutions. It's a learning process and I'm just starting to understand that it's a commitment that you have to be ready to make. If you're not ready to do it, you won't. For me, I have to remind myself every single day that being healthy and 'thinner' is way more important than french fries and greasy cheeseburgers and that empty feeling I sometimes get in my belly. Every day you have to choose to take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.

Beach Patrol
08-04-2010, 03:50 PM
One of the first things I did, because I love fruit, is decide that I was going to splurge each week on exotic fruits and vegetables. It wasn't always a great experience, but it was always an adventure (I learned that I HATE persimmons, which is too bad, they're so cute - but it was an adventure to try one).


LOL Kap!!!!!! - "Those darn cute fruits will fool ya ever'time!!!!" :D

blonie123
08-04-2010, 10:34 PM
Well, I had responded to this, and it disappeared! I think I will shorten my response this time! Maybe.. lol

I just wanted to say I am soooo glad I found this forum! I have never had anyone to talk to about all of this! No one I know seems to understand.

I am so encouraged by what each and every one of you said. It was just encouraging feeling like I was not being judged because I have a problem with food!

I can't respond to everyone, but I do want to say that I have had a very negative attitude about the whole weight loss process, and now I see how much that is hindering me. I have also had a very "all or nothing" approach. And I have struggled with the "it isn't fair" mentality.

Today, I am changing that. I can't let food be such a big deal to me! I actually like healthy food, but I want to eat the unhealthy stuff, too.

I think I will allow myself to do just that. In moderation, of course. :) Today, I have eaten very well, and I don't feel sad or deprived. I honestly had no idea I was being so negative! Thank you all for helping me to see that!

rockinrobin
08-05-2010, 05:53 AM
So much of this lies in attitude.

Eating well is not something you should dread. But look forward to and get EXCITED about. Yes, excited. Because it's an incredible way to live.

You can poll person after person of the big losers (and ones well on their way) around here and I bet you each and every one of them will tell you that they fell in love with eating well and never, ever want to live another way and that LARGE majority of them (myself included) never ever imagined that it could ever be that way.

It turns out that eating well is not the burden I always feared it would be - but an absolute joy and pleasure. Who knew?

I also caution you with the moderation approach. Many of us find that road very difficult or down right impossible. Because when you let in a little of the *other* stuff, it often leads to a LOT (especially initially as you're trying to master new habits). Just ask any alcoholic if they can successfully let in a little shot of booze.

So if you do go the moderation route, tread slowly, make yourself some boundaries and limits and make sure to access what the results are.

That was BEAUTIFUL Robin! - I mean, seriously!!! And those words of wisdom can be applied to many other things in life as well as dieting! - 5 stars!!!!!

Thank you. I'm glad those words meant something to you. I really DO think they're applicable in many areas, weight loss and changing ones relationship with food right at the top. I DO believe that that is what it all boils down to as you strive to better your life.

kaplods
08-05-2010, 08:17 AM
One thing I did forget to mention, that I noticed in your first post, when you said that eating an apple left you hungrier than eating nothing at all, that could be a sign that you have insulin resistance/issues with carbohydrates.

Fruits contain relatively simple carbohydrates, meaning sugars. Fruit sugars break down quickly, and can lead to an insulin spike (hunger).

A snack or meal of fruit only leaves me hungrier than eating nothing, also. I have to add some fat or protein with fruit, or I'm hungry again only a short time after eating. So I'll eat an apple with a piece of cheese or a tbs of peanut butter.

A lot of "food combining/timing" theories are a lot of nonsense, but some have merit. If you use a food journal, and write down not only what and when you eat, but also when you feel hungry, and rate your hunger, you'll be able to find patterns that help or hinder you. You'll find which foods make you hungrier and which satisfy longer.

I'm not pushing a low-carb or Paleo agenda (though I am biased in favor of them), because I think different people do better on different diets.

It's that diference that brings up another issue about "healthy eating." "Just eat healthy," is absolutely meaningless, because there is no one-size-fits-all "healthy diet." What is healthy for one person may be unhealthy for another. At it's extreme, that's easy to understand - if you're allergic to wheat then whole-wheat bread isn't healthy for you.

What constitutes a healthy diet, depends upon your specific needs. A healthy diet for an 80-lb, starving adult is much different than for a 310 lb person with insulin resistance/borderline diabetes like myself.

There is no "just eat healthy" without taking your specific physiology into account.

Now "eat healthier," is a somewhat easier concept. If you're overweight; fruit, vegetables, lean meats, healthier fats and whole grains are going to be better choices than fast food. That's a no-brainer, but it can get a whole lot more complicated than that, if you want the optimal diet for your body and your health goals.

I spent many years making what seemed like healthy choices. I learned that is entirely possible to maintain a morbidly obese weight on "healthy" foods. No candy, no ice cream, no chain restaurant fast food - and no weight loss. Because even "healthy calories" add up quickly.

I have difficulty avoiding foods that increase my hunger. It's easy to forget that watermelon can be nearly as bad as a candy bar (at least with a candybar I tend to stop at one, whereas watermelon I'll eat until I'm bursting, "because it's healthy."

That doesn't mean I buy candy bars and avoid watermelon - I just have to keep every choice in perspective. And for me, it boils down to carbohydrates, because I overeat them. High-carb eating makes me feel like I'm starving, even if my stomach is full to the point of discomfort. It's a crazy feeling to feel both stuffed and starving at the same time.

Weight loss is a complicated experiment, and I really think the biggest key to success is being willing to continue the experimentation. It reminds me of the saying "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." If dating is like that, dieting is worse. I dated less than a dozen men to find my husband, it's taken several hundred diets (and 39 years) to find the right diet for me (it wouldn't have taken so long if I hadn't spent most of those years trying and retrying the same diet. I didn't know that I had to reduce carbs to controll hunger, in fact, I didn't think reduced carb diets were healthy at all. I had to redefine "healthy" to succeed).

ddc
08-05-2010, 02:14 PM
Lots of good advice here.

I just wanted to add that apples make me feel hungier also.
Therefore, I do not eat apples :)

Best wishes to you. You can do it !