20-Somethings - I almost feel silly that this is bothering me...

Do any of you guys worry when people in your real life don't comment on your weight loss? I really hope it's not just me. I've lost almost 15 lbs, and a part of me gets discouraged because no one really notices, or at least they don't say anything. I mean, to me - the difference is starting to become obvious as I've just had to buy smaller jeans and shirts. My one friend, who's losing weight with me also notices, but that's to be expected because we're both in the same boat. I'm just waiting for the day that someone who doesn't know what I'm doing comes up to me and says "Wow, you've lost weight!"

I sometimes wonder if it's because of how tall I am. I carry my weight really well, so maybe it's just that no one realized I was big to begin with? haha.

Yes, I do realize this is a silly thing to worry about. The only thing that matters is that I FEEL better and I KNOW I'm starting to look better... but psychologically, I sometimes can't help but get discouraged by this.

Sorry, it's just one of "those" days I guess lol... had to "vent" a bit. ;)

Anyone with me?

I totally know what you mean.

I go in the same branch of my bank several times a week and just recently, it really started bugging me that not one of the girls there (who I am all very friendly with) had noticed or said anything. I mean, I've lost almost 60 pounds and they see me at least twice a week!!

Finally, though, one of them said something. I think it was because I wore something that actually fit that day! It felt good after waiting all that time for someone there to notice.

Also, keep in mind, some people don't feel comfortable mentioning it...they might be afraid to offend you or that you will be embarassed. I'm sure people have noticed, they just might not know how you'd feel if they mentioned it. Good work girl, keep it up!

I understand. I have only had one person notice and I feel like it's getting pretty noticeable that more people should. I'm just trying to use it as motivation to lose more so people DO start noticing!

I'm the same way.

My Dad will notice and say 'oh, great job kid!' but my husband? Nothing. Crickets. I was all 'i lost 11 pounds last month!' all happy like, and he was all 'thats good.' and walked away. I don't know if its because the people dont want to be wrong when they say something, but... Sheesh.

I totally understand, and it's totally normal! :)

I think it's sometimes hard for people who are around you a lot to see the difference right away. But you're right, it's how YOU feel that matters. Congrats on your progress!

My inlaws have not seen me since Easter, and in that span of time I have lost about 35 pounds. In total I have lost about 65 lbs. They have not said a word about it, negative or positive, the entire time. (except the MIL complaining about having to make desserts for me with "Splendita", which BTW is something the SO asked for, not me. I would be happy to skip her desserts :devil:)

I have a feeling they don't want to broach the subject since they are in such poor fitness and health themselves. Anyways, it would be nice if they could be supportive, but I am lucky to have people who love me on my side ALL the time.

I think that some people feel if they mention it it will embarass you, or think that you make take it as you need to lose weight. Actually, in all honesty, when people notice when I lose weight and mention it, it does kind of embarass me.

Besides my close family and friends...no one really noticed my weightloss till around the 40-50 pound mark. I think when we see people every day it is harder to tell the changes since they happen pretty slowly. Plus, like others have said...alot of time people just aren't sure what to say.

If it makes you feel better...my exboyfriend swore that he didnt notice I had gained 40 pounds while we were together!! lol

It takes time. Sometimes, people can't yet determine what is different about you; just that something is different. I had about the same starting weight and I remember the very first comment I got was, "your face looks thinner". I had lost about 35 pounds at that point. It took a little more time for people to feel comfortable saying something, but once they did? They didn't really hold back about anything :lol:

Besides my close family and friends...no one really noticed my weightloss till around the 40-50 pound mark. I think when we see people every day it is harder to tell the changes since they happen pretty slowly. Plus, like others have said...alot of time people just aren't sure what to say.

If it makes you feel better...my exboyfriend swore that he didnt notice I had gained 40 pounds while we were together!! lol

LOL - the last time I lost and gained back, I was looking through some FB pics with my friend and I was like: "Damn, I need to get back to that size." and she looks and was like "I don't see any difference." I think she meant that as a compliment, but my first thought was "Oh, she thought I was big to begin with then!" Hahaha... :p

They probably do notice, but in my experience many people may be uncomfortable mentioning it. A couple of years ago I went from a size 14 to a 6 in a few months (40lb loss) and for a long time none of my coworkers said a word. They saw me every day so I thought that maybe they didn't notice since the change was gradual, but when they finally did say something, many were apologetic and quietly asked me in private if I had lost weight (and said that they had wanted to ask for a while). The truth was that most of them felt like it was impolite or intrusive to ask about or comment on someone's weight despite it being a positive change. I've also heard people say that they never comment on weight loss just in case the person was sick or something, so I would say that most of them probably do notice and just aren't saying anything.

Congrats on your success:D

No one noticed i had started losing weight until I hit the 20 lb mark. My mom had lost 50 lbs and no one at her work noticed....

I guess it depends on how you carry your weight and how heavy you are to start off with. If you're already thin someone is going to notice a small loss where as when you're heavier you have to lose more.

Don't get discouraged. 15 lbs is AWESOME!!! :)

I've lost 28 lbs and people have STILL not noticed.

I know a lot of people are conscious about bringing up weight loss as well. They may see it, but they keep their mouths shut just in case it's not true. So just because they haven't said anything doesn't mean that they haven't noticed your hard work. Don't get discouraged! I know it's nice to hear compliments from people around you, but ultimately it's about how you feel!

People have been noticing but its only people that I dont see often, keep in mind that people that see you daily wont notice right away and as others have said some people do not like to comment on WL its a touchy subject!

I totally know what you mean.

I go in the same branch of my bank several times a week and just recently, it really started bugging me that not one of the girls there (who I am all very friendly with) had noticed or said anything. I mean, I've lost almost 60 pounds and they see me at least twice a week!!

Finally, though, one of them said something. I think it was because I wore something that actually fit that day! It felt good after waiting all that time for someone there to notice.
That would be incredibly unprofessional and a violation of boundaries. It's not appropriate to make such comments to clients in this setting; it has nothing to do with the business transaction and one can never know how such comments may rub the other person.

There are many reasons people lose weight and not all of them are positive, happy reasons and drawing attention to it implies that one is being judged based on a set of standards that may or may not resonate with the one being scrutinized.

In other words, what if someone had an eating disorder or cancer or had a miscarriage or some other condition and lost weight due to that? What if the person is incredibly shy or self conscious about their appearance and a comment on weight loss sends them into a depressive spiral, feeling like they must have been hideous before in the other person's eyes? We can never know how our words may impact a person and so to comment on very personal things like appearance as it relates to weight loss is a professional faux pas.

If one of my employees made a comment about a client's weight, they would get a stern talking to at the very least! :nono:

I find that people who haven't seen me in a while notice now that I've lost over 40 pounds, but nobody commented for a long time - especially not people that I see every day. Unfortunately, if they see you all the time, they're just not that likely to notice.

It disappoints me when people who know I'm trying to lose weight and are close to me (like my mom) don't say anything. I don't really see a difference, but I like to think it's all in my head, so it would be helpful if someone would say something to make me think it's obvious to them. 25lbs is nearly 1/2 of what I want to lose overall, so I think it should be at least a little noticeable.

Like someone else said, people probably do notice and just don't say anything. Weight can be a very touchy subject.

Edited because I cannot spell today!

So my sister in law has always been bigger than me by quite a bit, but after I had gained weight plus had pregnancy weight, SHE started losing weight after all these years. I absolutely refused to mention I noticed her weight loss out of pure jealousy AND the fact that when I had lost about 50 pounds before my wedding SHE never mentioned it, fun little game huh? LOL.

Anyway, besides the - people not wanting to be rude or not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable, there may be a good part of people not mentioning it because they are jealous of the fact you are losing weight, whether they are big or not. I've found that my skinny friends like to be the skinny friends and therefore find it annoying when I'm no longer the big friend. Bigger or skinnier people tend to like people to stay in the role they are used to them playing.

I much prefer someone to just say "you look great", then say OH my god you have lost weight. Your the same person you were before, just in a smaller package.

It took people 80 lbs to notice the difference with me, it was very sudden and I was starting to wonder what was wrong! In the end it wasn't the weight loss that did it, but new clothes, I think that as long as they see you wearing old clothes and jackets they just don't realise or aren't sure.

It was great, because I could say 'I've only lost 2/5 lbs since I last saw you', not having to mention the other 75 before that. ;-)

I didnt read any other responses but

sometimes people dont realize you've lost weight because its not a big enough change....

I got comments from close people but now after I've lost 125 pounds I get the jaw dropping thing from people...but thats only a recent thing from people I haven't seen in awhile...

I also know for me it takes a good 20-25 pounds to change sizes so 15 pounds where its a lot to you its a smaller change in the larger scheme of things.

people will begin to notice dont worry...sometimes its kind of embarassing

I think that some people feel if they mention it it will embarass you, or think that you make take it as you need to lose weight. Actually, in all honesty, when people notice when I lose weight and mention it, it does kind of embarass me.

Yeah, I'm more like this. I feel like if they compliment me on my weight loss it means that they had been noticing how overweight I was. I guess I secretly hope I carry it well even though I'm barely 5'3" haha :rolls eyes:

I definitely understand. I've lost 20 pounds and my pants don't even fit the same, but no one has noticed. It does kind of suck.

personally from seeing other people lose weight even family. I don't want to say anything because I dont want them to think I thought they were fat before.. like oh you're losing weight? cuz then I would also be noticing that they were heavy before and that they are still heavy.. and then its all out there... awkwardness..

It takes a while for people to notice. But as another poster said, NOBODY in my work has mentioned it, partly because I think it would be very unprofessional, or possibly could be construed as a type of harassment. Imagine if eveyone commented when they noticed people gained weight... the only people that say things to me are very close friends and family.

i dont think people dont say anything because they dont notice but just because sometimes they wouldnt know what to say, weight is a delicate issue with most people and some people may lose weight for lots of reasons not all of them good ones and so some people just feel its a subject best left unmentioned, you never know whats going on in someones life so its best not to comment.
also as said above when someone sees you everyday they just dont notice the change unless they are looking

Hah, I'm in the same boat as you! We have a similar SW and GW, and no one has noticed, yet, that I've lost weight. I had to TELL my mom that I lost weight. That's ludicrous.

But, I'm not worried – maybe when I get down to my goal weight, everyone will notice at the exact same time, and it will be like shock and awe.

Sweet, sweet shock and awe.

This is defintly normal...people sometimes don't see it, until one day something clicks, its like they always pictured u as big so they still do even if you've lost weight...

for example..one afternoon i was running with my best friend and we bumped into an old school friend (since shes seen me id lost 35 POUNDS!) and she said to my best FRIEND..wow you've lost weight (when she hadnt?!) i was like...HELLLOOOOOOO

then seriouslt 5 DAYS later we are at a xmas party...and she grabs me and goes...ohmygod did you lose a ton of weight in like a weeek?!!

until she saw the back of me..and ddint recognise me was when she noticed.

I think people are just afraid to embarass you or make you uncomfortable. I'm your height and a few years back I lost some weight -- it took about 25 pounds (from 250 to 225) before people said anything. One person actually said "I didn't want to say anything in case you stopped losing. I didn't want you to feel bad about your previous weight."

I agree with Jen516 and when people do notice that I've lose weight its almost embarrassing. I hate it if people go on about it. Obviously going from a 16 to an 8 is kind of a lot. I would notice. I feel bad because I never know what to say when people bring it up so I typically change the subject. I transfered schools/lost a large chunk of the weight right before college started so most of my friends now don't believe me when I say I used to be heavier. Its weird because often I still see myself the same and people are like "uh..." hahaha. I don't know what I'll do at goal.

It feels great when someone notices that you have lost weight. I personally will only make a comment like that if I know the person well and if I know they are purposefully losing weight.

I used to work in a disability services office and too often clients had lost weight because of illness and I never wanted to be in the situation where I said "Hey you look great! Have you lost weight?" and the response I get is "Yes! Thanks for noticing! It's all the cancer I have now!"

Yeeees even if I notice someone has lost weight I wouldn't know what to say unless they're a really good friend and I haven't seen them in a while.

But if it's a coworker or someone I see every day.. it just seems awkward.

Also if someone, say, at work, asks me if I've lost weight I just say something like "If so it's because of <Project X>" (making a joke). "See I've got a grey hair from it too."

Overall it's a little embarrassing to me when people bring it up. If I don't make a slight joke or turn the conversation elsewhere, I don't know where to go with it.

I also blush SUPER easily, which is awful, if attention stays on me too long. Worst thing ever. I don't even have to be very embarrassed to turn bright red - surprise, embarrassment, you name it, I turn red.

I can totally relate. I have lost 15 lbs and no one have said anything positive to me. My mom made a comment about my weight today and it wasn't a nice one. I sometimes get discouraged too but I'm doing this for me and not any one else.

I understand what everyone is saying Iv'e lost 24 pounds and my DH says he cant tell. some poeple say they can and some dont. i probably wouldn't be able to tell if i didnt know i had dropped two 2 jean sizes normally i have to get into the 150's before its really noticable. my mother in law is the one whos always telling me to keep up the good work and bless her heart when i had just lost 7 pounds she swore up and down she could tell. shes so sweet sometimes

Congrats on the 15lb so far, i lost 40lbs and people only started to notice after 30, and say oh have you lost weight.. i hide weight, people think i'm lighter then i am, good thing i guess haha

keep it up, the compliments well flow eventually ;)

I totally understand, but as others have said, I think it's sometimes hard for people to say anything. If you're not losing weight, they'll feel like a moron. I will admit that, though I love the attention I've gotten this time around, I've been embarrassed in the past when family members have asked me if I'd lost weight when I clearly hadn't. It ended up reminding me that I wasn't trying hard enough at all and I should have looked a lot better than I did.

This time around, the only person who hasn't commented on my weight loss is a jealous coworker. (She's the type who, as my size 12 jeans are literally falling off my bum, would say, "I don't think you need to go to a smaller size.") I try to remember that she's miserable with her own body and not let it get to me.

Oh, one other point... People who see you often probably notice gradual weight loss less than someone who hasn't seen you in a while. For instance, my grandmother practically screamed when she saw me for the first time in a month. Coworkers? Not as much.

Honestly seeing some threads around here I'll never comment on anyone's weightloss again. For every thread like this where people complain no on is saying anything you have another thread of people complaining about people noticing. You just can't win.

From one 5'10 female to another, it takes a pretty solid amount of weight before people notice, since our tall frames spread weight more than someone shorter. When I lost weight a few years ago, I took off 30 pounds before anyone noticed.

Truth be told though, it really doesn't matter if people notice. From what I've read, you're changing your life for you. If you can see and feel the difference, that's what counts :)

Keep up the great work!

cherrypie, I LOVE your avatar! Long live the Enterprise!

yes i hate it. because i know i can barely see anything but someone who hasnt seen me in weeks has to see something? right? why not say it?