Weight Loss Support - I got my first fat comment

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08-02-2010, 08:33 PM
"You've gained weight. Your boobs and butt jiggle everywhere". Then she laughed. I was trying to soothe my newborn.

Thanks MIL :?:

I'm 5'5, 138lbs and gave birth to her grandson 8 weeks ago, what on earth compels someone to say such a thing??!

Holy cow. People weren't even that mean when I weighed a heck of a lot more than that long before I had a baby.

08-02-2010, 08:43 PM
What an unpleasant person she is. I'm sorry she said that. I don't understand what is wrong with people. You JUST gave BIRTH. Nature designed you to have breasts and hips, to sustain you through your pregnancy and nourish your baby.

You are only 138lbs and 5'5"? You probably look great! It doesn't matter either way though, there's no reason to say what she did to anyone, especially one who recently have birth! Jeez. :mad:


08-02-2010, 08:44 PM
Your MIL is certainly not very tactful nor a very good judge of weight. Your weight at your height is perfect and you just had a baby! I hope she is not always that way. Sometimes we just have to bite our tongue to keep peace in the family, but if she says something again, please tell her how you feel.

08-02-2010, 09:11 PM
I'm so sorry!

Ok-first of all, you just had a baby and you weigh 138 pounds---uh you realize I'd be happy to just weigh 138 now-no baby included in that package. If by miracles I weighed 138 AFTER having a baby this would be me: :carrot::love::spin::cb::cp::hat::flow1::flow2:

I can't really explain how deliriously happy I would be to weigh 138 after having a baby. Anyway that being said-even if you gained 50 pounds having a baby this is your MIL's grandchild? You just gave birth to her grandchild. She really doesn't need to be putting you down. Why in the world she said that I'll never understand nor do I think in a million years anyone would ever consider it fair.

You gotta love MIL. Right? Uh :(

If she keeps bringing it up maybe take her aside and tell her, kindly, that you don't appreciate the comments.

I feel bad for you sweetie. I really do. After just having a baby you shouldn't have such stress put upon you. You have plenty with a newborn as is. Take care and know that there are plenty of us here who are totally on your side!

Keep us posted! :hug:

"You've gained weight. Your boobs and butt jiggle everywhere". Then she laughed. I was trying to soothe my newborn.

Thanks MIL :?:

I'm 5'5, 138lbs and gave birth to her grandson 8 weeks ago, what on earth compels someone to say such a thing??!

Holy cow. People weren't even that mean when I weighed a heck of a lot more than that long before I had a baby.

08-02-2010, 09:22 PM
Wow, that is unbelievable and uncalled for. I am so sorry she said that to you :hug::hug:

08-02-2010, 09:41 PM
Was she as blunt before the pregnancy? I was just wondering what would make anyone let alone a new grandma say such a hurtful thing.
I have been a grandma for 3 months now :D my DIL is gorgeous, moms are beautiful!!!!!
Shocking really and very sad.

I'm sending hugs your way :hug: you are beautiful. :hug:

08-02-2010, 10:05 PM
What a nasty thing to say! I am sure you look beautiful and BTW congrats on your precious new baby. :)

08-02-2010, 10:05 PM
That is just so wrong!

I don't care if you were 238 or 338 or 438. That is just not right. That woman must have a screw loose.

I mean are you kidding?!?!? 138 at 8 weeks postpartum!??!?! Goodness Gracious, someone should be throwing you a Fabulous Party, cause that's what you are!

I know with family, and in-laws in particular, we can't always (ever?) say what we really want to say... so I will say it for you here... :censored: you!

:o sorry, I got a little carried away... but this really makes me angry!

08-02-2010, 10:19 PM
i can't agree more with everyone on here.

She obviously has a terrible heart/soul to say something like that specially to a new mom! I mean a person who's just had a baby generally gets effected emotionally more so than someone didnt just have a baby. Not only that AS IF a new mom doesnt have so many other things to worry about than some tasteless MEANIE.

Did your husband hear? I hope he stepped in. If he didnt and he DID hear.. smack him. Hard.

Like others state - definitely if she says something like that again just state how it hurts your feelings and you do not appreciate comments like that. They are uncalled for.

I would say what thesame7lbs said but uncensored and to her face :P hahaha but thats how i roll :D

08-02-2010, 10:20 PM
I'm not a violent person, but it would have been very hard for me not to punch her :lol:

08-02-2010, 10:21 PM
HAHA and blame it on those "hormones!" haha

08-02-2010, 11:02 PM
I'd kill to be in the 130s. Not literally, of course. :lol:

I remember I was at my fiancÚ's house last
year and his mom came out with an old shirt
she had and her husband said, "You don't have
the body you use to have."
WTF was he thinking?! She's not even big! :nono:

Some people just don't think when they talk.
Even if they try and mean it as a joke, some
things are better left unsaid. Hang in there. :hug:

08-03-2010, 12:20 AM
Thanks ladies.

138lbs at 5'5 is not even overweight. And even if I was 238,338,438lbs, it is still very hurtful to make such comments. She did not know me when I was overweight/obese, only slim, so I'm not sure if she realizes how that jabs the "former fat girl" inside of me. Oh well, whatever.

Again, one of those things that reflect upon the person who says it, rather than the intended target.

08-03-2010, 12:33 AM
And about the boob comment... I'm a 32B with the milk... LOL... I wish I had boobs to "jiggle"? Okay, they are still bigger than my former A's but that's ok :D

08-03-2010, 01:24 AM
:hug: I'm sorry she said that, just ignore her.

08-03-2010, 01:44 AM
Again, one of those things that reflect upon the person who says it, rather than the intended target.

I'm glad you are taking this in stride. What a thing to say! Crazy!

But congrats on your new baby! :)


08-03-2010, 02:04 AM
I'd say "Thanks.. Your son LOVES this jiggle ;)" and then shake them! :devil: LOL :lol:

and then start dancing to this ;) hehehe

08-03-2010, 02:06 AM
I'd say "thanks.. your son loves the jiggle ;)" and then shake them! :devil: LOL :lol:


08-03-2010, 02:10 AM
hehehhehe- But I'm just a smart @$$ like that ;):devil:

08-03-2010, 02:35 AM
I think what your MIL said was vicious. :mad: Yes - sometimes people say things without thinking but I'll bet she knows that the topic bothers you so if she continues to do this, I'm wondering if she might be jealous of you. Maybe she wishes for the days when she was a young mother.

Telling her how you feel will help a lot. I did that with my MIL years ago, and now she is much more careful around me. Of course, she says a few things now and then so when she makes comments, I have different strategies. Sometimes I just turn and walk away from her - usually while she is in the middle of a sentence! Other times I pretend I didn't hear her and I start jabbering about another topic. If I feel that I need to, I get right back in her face and she shuts up.

I hope things get better with your MIL. It would be nice to have everyone be together without her stirring up some hard feelings.

Many congratulations on your new baby!!!!! :congrat:

Maria: thanks for the good laugh!!!! :rofl:

08-03-2010, 02:46 AM
Hey, if she says it again I'd just say "You're welcome. It WAS rather nice of me to give birth to such a BEAUTIFUL grandbaby for you, wasn't it???"

08-03-2010, 11:05 AM
I find the best response when people are rude like that is to simply say, "That was hurtful" and walk away.

If they have any heart they will 'get it' and apologize, and if not, nothing is going to change them anyway.

08-03-2010, 11:29 AM
she sounds like a pretty bitter lady. Sorry you had to deal with that :(

08-03-2010, 11:40 AM
I agree that it sounds as if she's been saving that comment up for a long time, after observing the body of her son's wife -- because how else would she know there had been a change in it? -- & likely coveting it, along with your comparative youthfulness & all that goes with it.

In general, what is her attitude toward you & the marriage? I'd try to see it in that context. Has she said unkind things that sounded vaguely competitive before?

08-03-2010, 02:13 PM
"You've gained weight. Your boobs and butt jiggle everywhere".

*surprised look* Oh, my! Did you just say that out loud? How embarrassing for you... *shaking head in pity and turning back to the baby*

Shannon in ATL
08-03-2010, 02:44 PM
That totally sounds like jealousy to me. She has probably been watching you in all of your hotness as you have been pumping iron w/ DH and planning for baby and has just been biding her time.... Waiting until that little tiny smidge of baby weight gives her an opening to pounce... Trying to make herself feel a little better for not exercising, maybe? Heck, you were doing CF while pregnant, that had to intimidate her a little, maybe made her feel insecure.

Or, maybe she is just catty and a little mean, as a lot of women are, sadly.

Don't you let her bother you - you are doing fabulous. Really. Wow. Silly woman. You are beautiful.

08-03-2010, 03:35 PM
I don't think she was trying to be mean, I think she just wasn't thinking.

I've noticed that since I've lost weight, people feel more comfortable commenting on my weight. It's not that they're trying to be mean, they just somehow feel that it's ok because I'm not as fat as I used to be. It's like how people have no problem mentioning when a skinny person gains weight. Alot of times when people are absolutely silent about your weight, that's because they feel that it MUST be a sore issue for you... even if it isn't.

08-03-2010, 03:50 PM
Thats terrible! I know how you feel, when i was 7 months pregnant my grandmother told me I was getting fat. Just gotta let stupid things people say rool off your shoulders. :)

08-03-2010, 03:58 PM
wow, what a not very nice lady. you are no where fat, at 5'5 and 138 pounds, AND you just gave birth you are no where near fat.

she sounds like one of those people that have to make herself feel better by putting others down. Don't let her get to you, and congrats on the baby!!

08-03-2010, 04:54 PM
No doubt about it - her comment :no: was real ignorant.

08-04-2010, 07:55 AM
Thanks ladies :hug:

I'll chalk it down to miscommunication (she's French) and poor etiquette. I don't necessarily believe that, but it does no good to dwell on it :devil: She's gone, flown back home! Back to her "better" diet of wine and cigars (French women don't get fat, right? LOL)

08-04-2010, 02:22 PM
You're 5'5, 138lb and your MIL is telling you you jiggle?? After having a baby??

Honey you're NOWHERE NEAR fat, especially after giving birth! Your in-law needs a reality check. That's dangerous. What is she going to say to your baby when he/she gets older? I'm serious, my maternal grandmother is diet-obsessed, and started calling me fat and telling my mom to put me on diets when I was 8 YEARS OLD. I was NOT an overweight child until I hit puberty. At 9 years old I was counting calories in Oreos in my lunch. It lead me to have intense body dismorphia, which I've gotten over now, but I still have a lot of issues with my weight. I also have lots of memories of insulting things I've heard from her, memories that make me cry or make me feel depressed or hopeless about being overweight whenever I think about it. I don't want to say I blame her, because in the end I grew up to be obese. At the same time, when she started calling me fat, I WAS DEFINITELY NOT.

I think it's ridiculous that she would say something like this to you, and if she's always been this way or keeps being this way, I would be careful having her around your child and food at the same time. My grandmother used to take food away from me when I was in 1st grade, telling me "Dont eat that or you'll geteven bigger. You dont want other kids to make fun of your big belly do you?" And again, I was a slim child, not the slightest bit overweight. It seems so normal when we hear things like that, because it happens so often. In my personal opinion, it's nothing short of dangerous.

08-04-2010, 03:54 PM
Well, maybe think of it this way- some people see it as okay to "joke around" with someone whom the perceive as skinny versus fat. They'd tease a skinny person, where they never would a fat person. Either they don't mean it, or they assume you have less issues with self-image because of you're not as fat. For example, I could see someone in my family tease my sister (who is like a size 2) for "jiggling," but they would never do that with me, because that would be "too mean". Anyone know what I'm trying to get at here?

Especially since you weight 138 after giving birth, it was probably more from that vein than a truly "you're fat" comment. She's jealous, and just teasing someone whom she perceives as thin for "jiggling."

Truly, it's rude either way, because we should never, ever put that much emphasis on looks. Still, maybe it wasn't meant quite as meanly as it came off. Or maybe she's a total ***** and I'm just pulling crap out of a hat.