General chatter - Anyone Else Have a SO That is a Totally Bad Influence?




ThicknPretty
08-02-2010, 01:22 PM
Let me just start by saying...I'm soooo not blaming him for my bad choices!

But I definitely eat way worse when I'm with my boyfriend. I only get to see him on the weekends because of our busy schedule and it without fail, I blow my diet every Saturday night. And the weird thing is, he doesn't even eat that badly! It would make more sense to me if he had junk food in his house or pigged out himself, but he doesn't at all.

I've been trying to figure out what about spending time with him makes me so likely to binge or slip up. I do well all week up until that point and then I completely blow it in one night. This is getting frustrating because it's definitely affecting my weight loss (or lack thereof!). The only thing I can figure is this: he makes me too comfortable. He is the only guy I've ever been with that I knew for a fact loved my body. I am 100% confident in his attraction to me. And since he met me when I was 30 pounds heavier and thought I was just as attractive then, I know that he's not going anywhere should I pack on a few pounds. Also, whenever I'm with him, I whine and say things like, "I reeeallly want some real food!" (Meaning bad food.) His response is always to encourage me to eat whatever I want and usually supply said food for me!

He's my comfort zone. A lot of our date nights center around food (watching a movie in bed and eating frozen gummi bears, making s'mores, going out to eat, going out of ice cream) and I kind of love that. But I'm not loving a stuck scale! Anyone else in the same boat (or maybe a boat kinda like this?)


nina125
08-02-2010, 01:45 PM
A lot of people overeat when they feel bad.. And then there is the rest of us who overeat when we feel good. I totally feel ya because I am like that when I go over to visit my parents on the weekend.

What really helps me is having have a meal planned out ahead of time so that it is less easier to just eat out.

dcapulet
08-02-2010, 01:50 PM
thick - I am totally with you on this.

My husband is overweight but very happy with where he is. Great. No problem. But - he wants to eat the fatty foods, order out, eat out. Not so great, cause I can resist ANYTHING - except temptation :) Sometimes I have to just lay down the law, as much as it hurts. Mostly, I try to incorporate more healthy items into our meals - I basically give him a choice of healthy things.

About enabling - he is happy to do it for me. I too say "but i waaaaannnnt ittttttt..." He looks at me sternly and asks - "after all your hard work, do you REALLY want it?" if i say yes, it's totally my decision. It's easier for me to do it around him, but at the end of the day, it's still my decision.

I hope this helps, and you can find a good balance. I know just how hard it is!

Good Luck


Jenteal
08-02-2010, 02:39 PM
Oh I can totally relate. I went from 310 down to 206 a couple years ago. I met my current BF and went from 206 up to 280 in a matter of months. His family is very close and we meet with them often. It's almost always for a BBQ or at his dad's favorite pizza joint. Even if I'm careful with what I eat, I can almost feel the weight creeping back on. And then there are the couple of nights a week when my BF will bring home dinner or order Chinese food unannounced (for the both of us). I can be so strong on my own, but I don't know what it is when I'm with him. My willpower seems to go right out the window. I know I am the one resposible for everything that goes in my mouth and would never dare put the blame on him. Maybe it's a comfort thing?

Alicia87
08-03-2010, 09:01 AM
I completely get what you mean!! I met my boyfriend when I was heavier too (I started out weighing 190 a few years ago, when I met him, then lost weight to 150, then got back up to 178 which is when I got on here :)) and I love the fact that I know he loves me no matter what size I am. In fact he tells me all the time that I'm so slim already and don't need to lose weight. Which is nice to hear, but not exactly motivating me to step away from the bacon cheese fries (haha).

lolcat
08-03-2010, 11:03 AM
I know exactly what you mean too... I met my boyfriend when I was heavy, but lost a lot of weight before we began dating. We started dating, and I've gained nearly 60 pounds in 3 years. He loves me for me, and doesn't care, would encourage me to eat, eat late, eat bad things.
Our problem is we LOVE food - going out and discovering new restaurants, going back to favorites (buffets - ugh) and making up yummy things at home. The bad thing is, we weren't making any healthy choices.
Maybe it's like Jenteal said - a comfort thing...
So I decided I'm sick of it, and he's decided to support me and lose some of his excess too. I have to admit, though, it's a lot easier now that our schedules have changed and we don't have a day off together anymore.

Ciao
08-03-2010, 09:05 PM
He's not really a bad influence, but he sure
does make my blood boil! (this SO) :mad:

He's one of my so-called "friends". We were
track partners in 7th grade, then in 8th grade I
sprained my hip and was out track season. He
did NOT let me forget what I was missing! He
would say things like, "Wow! I just finished first
in a mile race!" which got me completely down.

Then in 9th grade I joined a musical to be an
actress and it interfered with track so I couldn't
do track and again, he opened his mouth saying,
"Oh man! For warm-ups we had to run FIVE miles!"

I don't know if he was purposely trying to make me
feel crummy, but it sure does hurt to have someone
who can do the things that you can't. Just stay
strong and try and keep eating healthy. :hug: