Weight Loss Support - Family Members that Infuriate you with their Eating Habits
07-29-2010, 10:21 PM
Does anyone else deal with family members that consistently eat crap food and don't care? It really bums me out. My brother (he's obese and gets defensive if we ever bring up his weight) had five large glasses of straight soda tonight for dinner as well as meal that was almost completely fried. I've tried encouraging him to come with me on walks and have tried to get him to eat more fruits and vegetables. I keep telling him that he's going to end up diabetic (runs in the family on both sides) but he tells me that he doesn't care. Does anyone else have relatives like this? Or ones that don't think they have a problem with their weight?
:queen: Dhani :queen:
07-29-2010, 11:03 PM
No, it doesn't infuriate me in the slightest. If anything it breaks my heart, but I don't feel like I have a right to judge my family like that. I was in their shoes before, for me it would be like the pot calling the kettle black. I hope I'm not sounding harsh, but you can't expect people to get healthy because you want them to, or because you think it's right. They have to be ready. How would you have felt, if at your highest your brother came up to you and said you were going to end up diabetic. I don't think that he's in denial, I'm sure he knows that he is overweight, but it doesn't bother him enough to fix it. Really, it's none of your business whether or not it does, IMO.
The only thing you can do is provide a positive example and let your family know that you're here for them.
07-30-2010, 12:20 AM
Personally, I don't think it's judgmental, hypocritical, or conceited to be upset when you see someone you care about engaging in unhealthy behaviors. I think you have every right to be infuriated, frustrated, upset, etc. Because you CARE and want them to be healthy.
Well, the thing is, you can't force someone in to being healthier. You just can't. But I do think you can lightly push in ways that don't feel like an attack. (In addition to being a good role model and support system.) But it is very easy to go too far. Scaring him is one of those. I know, it seems like a logical tactic, but it won't work. Trust me. It pushes them away, makes them angry at you, etc. It would be far better to just let him know that you care, and offer to be there for him.
I know its hard. I do have family members I have to do this with. I largely ignore the weight/eating issues. But I'll still occasionally point out things when they come up, especially if they're asking me questions or giving me a hard time about things. Example:
"Why in the world did you only put half a piece of cheese on your sandwich?"
"Because between 35 calories in that half piece of cheese and the 75 saved in the bread I chose versus yours, I just saved enough calories to have a snack this evening."
"There's 70 calories in that slice of cheese?!?!"
07-30-2010, 12:33 AM
It doesn't infuriate me, but I can understand being concerned about having family members who eat unhealthy. My dad and younger brother both always eat complete junk and my brother is a gamer who almost never gets any physical activity. I actually now weigh less than my brother which breaks my heart because I am still so far from healthy. My dad already has diabetes that keeps getting worse because he eats horrible stuff and a ton of sugar. I have heart problems that require a low sodium diet and I'm trying to lose weight so I'm eating healthy foods, but I'm living at home right now to save money. I try to suggest healthy foods but my dad fights me all the way even knowing that because of my health problems I need to eat healthier food. So it usually ends up that my family has one thing and I just eat raw fruits and veggies. My mom has tried to make changes like extra-lean meat, and I have my own skim milk and wheat bread, but my dad even refuses to switch to whole wheat pasta. I want them to eat better because I care about their health, but I know I can't make them change. I'm very careful with my brother about his weight because I know what it was like having people make comments to me. I'm just trying to be his big sister and hoping that he'll see me being healthier and come to me for help. I keep asking him to come play catch with me or go lift weights, so far he has turned me down but I'm hopeful that I'll eventually get a yes.
I think you should be careful with your brother that you don't make him angry with you or hurt because that will just make him turn away from your help. All you can do is be a good sister. Invite him to do things he would have fun doing that would get him moving (bowling, swimming, playing a sport, etc). If you find a healthy food that you really like that you might think he'll like too, try something like "Hey, Bro, try this. It's good stuff." I've got my brother to start drinking diet berry green tea instead of Mountain Dew by doing that. Small changes will help. Just make sure that everything you do, you do in complete love. :)