South Beach Diet - So mad at myself...
07-25-2010, 12:26 AM
Today was day 3 of my second time doing Phase 1. Been doing good, then I was STUPID and ate a ton of Chinese food for dinner. I'm paying for it though! Headache...feel like I have been hit with a tranqulizer...horrible feeling. I just wonder why I do this to myself? I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy. But I always end up sabatoging myself.
I am also finding Phase 1 harder this time then last. I feel a lot more cravings this time. I don't understand why.
I know I just have dust myself off and start again tomorrow...but now I wonder if I will keep doing this to myself, and if I will ever just figure it out....URGH. :mad:
07-25-2010, 04:18 AM
I did exactly the same thing tonight! I was tired and didn't have much to eat during the day - so I allowed myself to eat too much.
I'm telling myself to just stop for tonight - and get right back on the program. It just feels like a constant battle with myself. It's FRUSTRATING.
I decided to walk away from the kitchen and to get on the computer to write on 3FCs. It's better to find another activity to do rather than eat all night. :hun:
07-25-2010, 07:26 AM
PinkHoodie, hang in there. I'm 71 and still keep doing that to myself, especially with Chinese food. I swear I'm addicted. :shrug:
07-25-2010, 08:40 AM
Chinese food is usually full of msg which can really do a number on you especially if you have been eating clean. Just put how you feel right now in the old "mind bank" and it will be a sure way to keep you from eating it again. Next time everyone wants chinese food, ask for just veggies/chicken with no msg.
07-25-2010, 08:53 AM
I do it to myself still too. And wonder why, each time. But one thing I have found, the longer I go without eating crap, the less I am tempted by it and the better I feel. PH1 was hard for me, especially the first few days. It really helped to not have any restaurant food during those two weeks for me. Yep, dust off and start again today. It is only two weeks - you CAN do this!
hope for recovery
07-25-2010, 09:04 AM
Just be loving and caring towards yourself. As much as you can with everything in your life and the self abuse will start to drop off. I went clubbing last night and there were so many cupcakes there and I was just decorating them and things like that and I just thought to myself I don't want to hurt myself, I just don't want any more pain, please God no... and it worked I did not eat any of it! Today I am 7 months free from binge eating and I am on day 9 of phase 1.
I am learning to trust my body and surrender to my body because i don't know when and how to eat. if I knew I wasn't gonna be overweight. So as long as I stop harming myself and be kind and gentle to my body weight will drop off on my body's terms, not on my own. I find it hard to trust and let go of control. But I am trying to make the effort because the more I control, the more i lose that control. Sounds familiar?
I also know that for me to eat, I need to be eating well I must only eat out of hunger and not out of emotion. Food does not solve my mood and my life. Each time I have tried it I failed and I was left in pain. I must face life on life's terms and not seek for comfort in food. This is what I did before and I became overweight and this is what I must change, otherwise my weight will not change for good.
Good luck and well done for being honest, it is one of the hardest things to do!
07-25-2010, 02:56 PM
But one thing I have found, the longer I go without eating crap, the less I am tempted by it and the better I feel.
I have found this to be true too! I've been on SB for 2 1/2 years, but just in the last 6 months, I have been able to stay on plan for longer and longer stretches. It does get easier, but I'm still constantly challenged. Remember, you have to take care of your health. It's just plain hard sometimes!
07-25-2010, 04:17 PM
Thank you for all your kind words and advice. I don't know what came over me. Earlier in the day I walked right past McDonald's and didn't even have a craving for it. But last night was horrible!!!! I will spare you the details, but its the most miserable night I have had in a while.
So at least I learned that I don't WANT to eat that food anymore. Even when I was eating it I was thinking how it didn't really have any flavor...it kind of all tastes the same and how much I love a big salad with all kinds of veggies in it.
So I have learned and I will be better because of it. I am GOING to do it, and not mess up. :) So here I go! :) Thank you all! You are the best!!! :)
07-25-2010, 04:47 PM
Wow I know how you feel, PinkHoodie and Ruthxx, Chinese food has always been one of my hugest cravings EVER. It is my most favorite food EVER on this planet.
I have found ways around this, Pinkhoodie, I have found some yummy recipes online. You can use soy sauces, fish sauces, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, rice vinegar, and stuff like that to make homemade stirfries. Unfortunately, it's still not the same as the restaurant stuff! But it does help. You could probably find recipes online for whole wheat egg roll & crab rangoon & dumpling wrappers and make that too, to curb some cravings (when you're on Phase 2.) Just bake rather than fry, drizzle with a little bit of sesame oil or something.
Chinese was always my main go-to craving, but after 4 weeks of being on plan with no cheats, my craving for it has gone down considerably. I used to think of it and drool. Now I can think of it without horrible cravings for it hitting me. Just stick with a clean Phase 1 and transition into Phase 1.5 and then 2 and the cravings will lessen.
My local Chinese restaurant is delicious but I don't think they would prepare food without MSG or sugars if asked. I don't think they do any substitutions. HOWEVER there is a local Mongolian place where you basically make your own stirfry and let the chef cook it in front of you. You probably have a place like this nearby. Choose a bunch of veggies and chicken or beef or shrimp or something for your bowl. Usually they have different ladles of sauces to put on it to make your own sauce. Choose a little soy sauce, the vinegar, the lemon juice, garlic, ginger, chili oil (if you like it hot), sesame oil. Try to avoid the 'oyster sauce', it's full of sugars. When you have a craving for Asian food, places like that are good because you get to choose what goes into your stirfry.