Weight Loss Support - Thinking out loud...err, on screen
07-24-2010, 12:23 PM
I'm trying to figure out why lately I'm feeling a little back to square one. I lost 55 lbs and found myself at "my normal." That's not to say I reached a normal or healthy weight, but I'm a size 18, the size at which I've spent the majority of my late teen and adult life. I'm neither happy nor content with this size, yet I've stopped. Worse than stopped, I've gained! I'm back to the whole on plan for a day and then off the next telling myself "I'll make up for it tomorrow." I know that's bull****, why do I listen to it? What am I doing?! I just don't get what happened to make this suddenly so hard after I'd been doing so well.
The other day I found myself fantasizing with my hands under the Xelorator hand dryer, you know the ones that blow so hard it pushes your fat off to the side. I could see where the edges of my hand are supposed to be. I think because I don't feel that much smaller 50 lbs down, I have a tendency to think that the 80 I have left to go isn't that much either. I find myself periodically shocked by how fat I still am. I want to put my whole body under the Xelorator and see where my edges are supposed to be. You know, that or I could just start losing weight again.
07-24-2010, 12:36 PM
I really feel for you! I think I could have written your post. In fact, it wasn't that long ago when I reached 165 lbs. and that wasn't my goal, but it was getting there and then I just started to sabotage myself. I think there were many reasons for me and they are probably not the same for you, but I thought I'd just brainstorm with you a bit. First, I have migraines daily and that really gets me down. I struggle with a low grade depression and I use food to fill a void. Second, I remember the beginning of the end. I went to Las Vegas with my husband and I bought myself a size 10 adorable dress at BCBG (one of my favorite stores). I put it on and thought it looked really good. I saw my husband and he barely responded. I went out and sought some sort of looks and saw none. It was like I was still 220 lbs. So, what was all the effort for? So, part of it is my desire for attention stemming probably from being ignored a lot in the past, but that's a whole other story! ;) I've become somewhat addicted to comments from people when I lose weight. So, whenever I drop a lot of weight, everyone gives me tons of complements and attention. This is not good. I think the main thing, though, is that I'm a food addict.
So what can you do? Use me as an example of what not to do. ;) I am back to my plus sized clothing (size 16 or 18, depending on the brand) and right now, I could have been a size 8 or 10 at most. What helps me is to just have one good day. I tell myself that no matter how I'm feeling or what the excuse, I will have one good day.
Try to identify some of your triggers. For me, my biggest challenge is when I'm downstairs by the kitchen alone at night. I shovel mass quantities of food into my mouth regardless of how it tastes. So, the best thing for me is to go to my room and close the door by a certain time.
Have a tangible goal. That dress that I bought? I have hung it up in my room so that I can see it all the time. It's a reminder of what is possible. Yes, it's a shallow reminder, but who cares if it works? ;)
I hope this wasn't too much about me....I just thought I'd post some of my thoughts in hopes that you won't do what I've done. Coming to 3fc is a huge inspiration.
Finally, I don't know how you've done it so far, but what has always helped me (when I do it) is tracking my calories on my iTouch. I have an application called LoseIt. I think you can keep one online and you don't need an iTouch. It's free and it's great once you get into it.
Best of luck. I hope you can figure this out soon. :)
07-24-2010, 12:43 PM
Hang in there! I totally understand what you mean. I managed to lose 15 pounds from March to end of May. Now, it's been 2.5 months without a pound lost.
You have done so well, don't give up! We can do it, we can get started again.
07-24-2010, 12:44 PM
I know how you feel too. When I got to 153 recently, I'm not sure what happened, but it was like self-sabotage and I started eating nachos here, and burrito out there... and next thing I knew I'd gained 10lbs. =( They say to figure out why you did it in order to fix it, but I spent too long trying to figure out why and realized I just needed to get back to losing and the why doesn't matter. I'm only back OP for a few days now and I feel so much better!
I like that phrase - 'Fake it til you make it'. Just do your best with getting back on plan and pretend you're doing well and losing... eventually the scale and your body will catch up with you. ;)
07-24-2010, 02:21 PM
I can understand as most of us here can. I think the only plan of attack, for me, is to pull up my boot straps and jump back in with both feet full force. I have maintained a 155lb loss for the past 9 or 10 months because for the first time in years, I am comfortable with my weight (not my body though) but 2 weeks ago, I decided that I want to get to goal so I am back on plan and I know I will be a size 8 :D
Good luck with your goals :hug:
07-24-2010, 03:29 PM
I can relate to what you're saying. I'm at a 16 top 18 bottom, and in better shape than I have been for many, many years since I've gotten much more into exercise and eating healthily. It's not where I want to be, but it is something of a comfort zone.
Also, I think from time to time I experience something like burnout/cranky kid syndrome: I rebel and want to eat stuff that isn't in the best interests of my getting rid of the lbs. The two together can be tough on losing weight and keeping it off.
Plus, I've had extra life stress with a new job and new routine. I used to work out of my home and for 28 hours a week, now I communte and work 40. I have much less time to get to the gym and am walking past food temptations all the time. which is getting away from your topic.
I think your mind and body are catching up to all your changes (like mine are). I look at the edges too, and think, yeah! I want my body to be there!
I am working on just keeping to it, plugging at it, eating well, keeping up the exercise. Yeah, I guess there's a bit of fake it till I make it in there, ha.
07-24-2010, 08:57 PM
Sounds like you hit a plateau dear, mixing up your weight loss routine / diet a little will get you back on track quickly.
07-24-2010, 09:26 PM
i can totally relate. i hit the weight that i've been most of my teen years.. and i hate it. i don't feel comfortable in my own body and i think part of me thought "what's the point? i'll never be thin enough, that's just not me" so i had those instant noodles right before bed.. the 500 calorie ones with like more than half the daily allowance of salt. I'm not really sure why i did it, but i think part of it is i've never been at a lower weight than i currently am without doing some really unhealthy things. I cannot imagine myself smaller, it's not plausible. It's something i'm really struggling with, but i ate a good breakfast and lunch today and plan on going to the gym.. I know quitting is just not an option.