General chatter - Calling all Moms - Potty Training

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07-22-2010, 02:40 PM
Any suggestions to try to encourange my daughter to do number 2 in the potty, she always asks for a diaper to do that number 2. If I don't give her the diaper, she will just hold it and cry that her stomach hurts. Tried to get books and talk to her to get her to sit there longer but she refuses.

07-22-2010, 03:35 PM
1) Make sure the potty fits her so knees are bent at 90 deg and feet are flat on floor so she's not "floating in the air" to poo. (When mine moved to the regular toilet with one of those adapter rings I put a stool in front of it for her feet to be on since she couldn't touch the floor.)

2) If you need to, teach her to sit to a count of 5, then get the diaper and poo and put it in the potty. Then count to 10, 15, whatever. When she grows comfortable, and can relax sitting on the potty try finally removing the diaper element.

3) Can also try feeding her things like sweet potato, prunes, etc to make sure her poo is easy to pass. Does she get enough fiber in her diet? Enough water?


07-22-2010, 04:25 PM
I agree with the poster above regarding the feet on the floor thing...feeling secure is very important for the child. If your daughter won't use the small potty and insists on the big one...some people have luck with placing the child with her front facing the toilet tank so she she's something solid and closer to eye level. She can also touch/hold it for security.

Getting a child to feel safe going #2 can be a long process. (I'm in childcare, and have done this process often).

Does your child only use the small portable child potty for #1? Then make sure #2 training continues with that potty.

If she's used to using the normal bathroom and toilet, continue using that. For now, use the diapers; but then you know that #2 is coming, take her to the bathroom, let her stand and finished the process. This is to get her used to doing #2 in the bathroom.

When that is success for a few days, you can start placing her, diaper and all, on the toilet. Let her go #2 in the diaper, while sitting on the toilet. She will get used to "the position" and location, while feeling safe with the diaper on. When she is comfortable with that, try loosening the diaper - making a looser fit but still refasten it, place her on the potty, and let her get used to that feeling.

The issue with kids and #2 is, they can feel like they are losing a part of their body. They don't have the "yucky" association with #2 like adults do. It's still a part of them. Also, when using the diaper, the snug fit on their butt while doing #2 assures them that they are protected. Without a diaper to catch it...they feel the process more - possibly because of the sensation of something falling from their bodies, inside of a diaper smooshing it against their bodies.

I hope I explained that well for you.

This can be a long and tedious process. Consistency is imperative. Not yelling and getting showing impatience is double imperative. She's afraid of this process, and your calmness will help a lot with reassuring her.

If you have an older sibling who is comfortable allowing your daughter to be in the bathroom while they do #2, that can be a good example for your daughter.

Using books to encourage her patience while sitting, also good.

Rewards for trying, and then successes, also acceptable. You probably have a good idea what motivates your child, use that.

Let me know if you have questions!


07-22-2010, 04:44 PM
Great post, Jura! Much better details than I could think to write.


07-22-2010, 04:54 PM
Well, my son (who is now 3) was like your daughter at 18mos (when we first started potty training) going number 1 was easy for him, but he was seemed absolutely disgusted with having to do number 2. My husband and I came up with a weekly potty chart, each time he went potty he got a sticker to put on his chart (1 sticker for #1 and 2 stickers for #2). After each trip to the potty, he would place his stickers under under Monday, Tuesday..... If he had an accident, he had to remove a sticker. If he got 10 stickers for that day he got to go to the "treasure box" that evening before bed. It was just a plastic tub I decorated and threw in some small toys (like hot wheels cars) and candy. He got to pick one item each night. Also, at the end of the week, if he had got to go to the treasure box everyday that week he got to take a "special trip". We either went to the park for a picnic, the swimming pool, or to CiCi's pizza (his fav restaurant). Well, after 2 weeks he was COMPLETELY potty trained, before he was even 2 years old. It was sooooo easy, I was really amazed! I have since used it with my youngest son, just a week ago, and he is doing wonderful. I hope this helps. Good luck sweety!!

07-22-2010, 05:36 PM
:lol: RELAX! She'll be fine!

when my son was a toddler he would always bring us his diaper to do was frustrating because we just knew all the other kids his age were going on the potty...why #1 but not #1....:shrug:

He grew up and graduated Magna Cum Laude from college...teaches high school honors history....

your kiddo will be fine.....:hug:

07-23-2010, 10:28 AM
I just finished potty training my little brother, and we had sort of the same problem. He wouldn't do #2 in the potty, but he also positively refused to wear a diaper....he didn't go for 4 days, and we were starting to think we were going to have to take drastic measures, when he came up to me and told me he had just gone...I guess he just couldn't hold it anymore. He hasn't had any problems since.

On the other hand, another of my brothers has a really hard time with all #2. (TMI warning) His are just too big for him, and it hurts, so he ends up holding it in, which just compounds the problems. We ended up having to take him to the doctor and have him put on medication that helps makes it easier for him. Have you seen her when she uses the diaper? Does she appear to be having any problems?

07-23-2010, 10:45 AM
Thanks for the suggestions everyone, I have made a list and plan trying them. We do daycare and have a long commutte, so I don't get to "try" with her as much as I would like. The daycare tries to help also, we have talked about it. I thought this would be an easy phase since watching other children. I hope to have made success by October. So we will see. I have heard of other people letting the child wear the diaper while sitting on the toilet. Now to tackle getting rid of the PACI too, After theses two items we will be flying easy as pie. :-)

07-26-2010, 01:33 PM
we used the chart idea with my little brother who was having trouble and it worked really well. good luck!

07-27-2010, 01:28 PM
I never thought about the diaper while on the potty or the thought that in her mind she is losing a part of her body. She pooped once and screamed in fear when she saw what it in the potty. Well it all makes sense now. Thanks Jura!!! I'm hoping the diaper and calmness works. I try not to push her but my husband wants her to get it done and over with. So while training her, I'll be training him. The joys of motherhood and wifedom.

07-27-2010, 02:12 PM
Jigglefree - Why is it the men are in such a hurry to get the kids potty trained. I mean really! Oh you got to love those joys. The good and the not so good. :dizzy: My daughter refused to sit on the potty with the diaper on, so that didn't work for us. I tried to get her to get used to going in the bathroom too even in the diaper but once she gets the diaper on and I let my hands off of her she is gone quick. Just like after giving a dog a bath, she runs away from me. LOL

I never thought about the diaper while on the potty or the thought that in her mind she is losing a part of her body. She pooped once and screamed in fear when she saw what it in the potty. Well it all makes sense now. Thanks Jura!!! I'm hoping the diaper and calmness works. I try not to push her but my husband wants her to get it done and over with. So while training her, I'll be training him. The joys of motherhood and wifedom.

07-27-2010, 02:36 PM
We did a reward system for our two children as well. I went to the dollar store and bought many small rewards like stickers, crayons and treats. I filled a large gift bag with treasures and when ever my children had success on the potty, they got to reach their hand in and pick a reward. The trick was to never let them see inside the bag to there was always the entice of imagining what they would get. This worked very well with my daughter and she was trained by two. My son was very stubborn and was still in diapers by three. I ended up having to put him in underwear as a last resort. He messed his pants twice then decided it was much more pleasant to use the potty. It was a last resort for a stubborn child who knew what was expected at that age. I am sure you will have great success with your daughter though ;)