Weight Loss Support - I know my mom is going to hold me back..




IndieSoul
07-21-2010, 04:58 PM
Hi,

As some of you know, I started WW a week ago. I'm doing great - I haven't went over my allowed points so far, and I've lost nearly 10 lbs in water weight. The problem is my mom. She's doing it too, but for some reason today she just up and decided she doesn't want to go to the meeting tonight. I worried about this coming. I'm having my dad drop me off at the meeting and my aunt who also goes is going to bring me home. But I can't do this without my mom, so what am I supposed to do? :( I can't keep living the way I am (was?), but I know I need to take care of myself one day - I'm nearly 16. Any advice? My family had a fight today and I'm so worried about my dad. I know it takes alot for him to put up with my mother, and I'm worried about him. He doesn't eat the best and he's got a stressful job (police officer) I'm just so worried something will happen to him and I'll have to go live with my mother. Sorry for the rant..


men7al
07-21-2010, 05:09 PM
Do it online WW.I think is great your working to lose it and don't give up.Worry about your health not them..if they can't give you a ride than do your best to keep track of your points and urge your mother to buy healhy food even if shes not doing it bc,is your health or live with someone who can support you lifestyle.I have a overweight mother who likes doing diet pills and never likes the hard way to lose it..I say.do it like you are now and don't give up ...go to weightwatchersonline.com

Robsia
07-21-2010, 05:16 PM
Why can't you do it without your mom?


sweetcakes736
07-21-2010, 05:55 PM
Baby girl,
I know it's hard when you are trying to change your life and you can't get support from all your family. Maybe your mom will come around, maybe she won't. I think she may be a little jealous of how well you are doing, sadly even parents fall into petty jealousy. But you do have your dad and your aunt, who sound like they are willing to hang in there with you and be there for you. Feel free to reach out to any of us here at 3FC, you have a new extended family and we will always be here. Keep going, do this for yourself, you are worth it.

Ciao
07-21-2010, 07:04 PM
My mother tells me all the time that she's
going to lose weight with me but in the end
it never happens. There has to be a little self-
motivation in people to get themselves going.
I can only motivate my mother so much, but
each time I've tried it's failed because she
simply isn't ready. Since you're ready to lose
weight, keep going and keep losing it. Don't
let your mother hold you back from losing it.

As for the family issues, just stay strong.
My family too is a disaster. I had to cope
on my own and learn to handle the stress
they can bring. Surrounding yourself with
friends could also help. They won't replace
your family, but they will help. I lean on my
friends whenever my heart feels empty. We
go to the movies, go out to eat, etc and we
have a fun time and that helps.
Good luck on your weight loss. :)

Rhythm
07-21-2010, 07:18 PM
I know it's scary to go to WW alone, but it only takes once or twice to move past that. And you'll probably make a friend or two. You may be shy, but I'm sure you're not the only shy one. It just takes time. (:

Besides, what's scarier? Going to WW by yourself, or being overweight for the rest of your life?

You can do this, Indie. It's tough but you're certainly capable of it. If your mom doesn't want to support you, screw her. Whatever she's doing tonight instead can't be more important than her daughter's health.

Don't let her attitude bring you down.

IndieSoul
07-21-2010, 08:18 PM
Thank you ladies :hug: She did end up going to the meeting - I think she was in a bad mood. It's great to have your support doing this - I struggle with motivation which makes it harder, but it's something I have to overcome.

Robsia - Being new to the program, I really need my mother's guidance and support since she's done this before. Hopefully in the future I'll be able to do it alone.

rachinma
07-21-2010, 08:27 PM
I still don't understand why you can't do it without your mom. So what if you've never done Weight Watchers before? People start new eating plans all the time without a buddy. Besides, did your mom successfully lose all the weight she needed to lose? If not, then why do you want to use her as a model?

You can do it yourself. You don't need your mom.

oodlesofnoodles
07-21-2010, 08:37 PM
You can do it alone if you have to! I'm glad to hear your mom went, but if she ends up bailing, keep going! Everything you need to know about WW can be learned there, in your materials, and here. Everything you need to know about weight loss can be learned here, and other places online. It seems hard, but you can do it. I wish I'd done what you're doing when I was your age. I had no idea how to learn about weight loss, so I never tried. I often wonder if I'd found 3FC when I was 15, if I would have stayed obese for so long.

Anyway, you can do it. Try to find rides to the meetings, whether or not your mom is with you. WW LOVES younger people. There's a girl who goes with her mom to my meeting that's your age and everyone looooves her and thinks she's adorable. The older folks like having a younger person's perspective on things. So go for it!

Ciao
07-21-2010, 09:08 PM
I still don't understand why you can't do it without your mom. So what if you've never done Weight Watchers before? People start new eating plans all the time without a buddy. Besides, did your mom successfully lose all the weight she needed to lose? If not, then why do you want to use her as a model?

You can do it yourself. You don't need your mom.

As young girls I can understand why she'd
want her mum with her. When I first started
out losing weight I wanted my mum at the gym
with me because it made me feel better. It's
something new and comfort is always a good thing.

Now that I've been losing the weight for a while
I no longer need my mum to go to the gym with me.
It just takes time, that's all. It's also nice to
have a familiar face with you and someone
you're comfortable with to be there with you
through your weight loss. So I can understand
how she's feeling because I too was like that at first.

souvenirdarling
07-21-2010, 09:14 PM
*big Hug*

ubergirl
07-21-2010, 09:18 PM
:hug::hug::hug:

bex
07-21-2010, 09:24 PM
If you do have to go by yourself, find the confidence to say hi to someone. I have made friends with a few people from my meetings. Everyone is there for the same reason remember. :D

IndieSoul
07-21-2010, 11:03 PM
As young girls I can understand why she'd
want her mum with her. When I first started
out losing weight I wanted my mum at the gym
with me because it made me feel better. It's
something new and comfort is always a good thing.

Now that I've been losing the weight for a while
I no longer need my mum to go to the gym with me.
It just takes time, that's all. It's also nice to
have a familiar face with you and someone
you're comfortable with to be there with you
through your weight loss. So I can understand
how she's feeling because I too was like that at first.

Thank you :hug:

jillianfan
07-22-2010, 02:04 PM
I still don't understand why you can't do it without your mom. So what if you've never done Weight Watchers before? People start new eating plans all the time without a buddy. Besides, did your mom successfully lose all the weight she needed to lose? If not, then why do you want to use her as a model?

You can do it yourself. You don't need your mom.

That came off a bit harsh, not sure if you meant it that way.

I sympathize with this young girl. She is only 15. She needs support and confidence, and that's what parents do for young girls. Give them support and confidence. We are adults, and it might be hard to remember being teenagers. And the people who start eating plans without a buddy that you are referring to are probably also adults.

I totally understand why she needs her mother with her there, and I am glad that the mother decided to go after all.

IndieSoul
07-22-2010, 08:47 PM
That came off a bit harsh, not sure if you meant it that way.

I sympathize with this young girl. She is only 15. She needs support and confidence, and that's what parents do for young girls. Give them support and confidence. We are adults, and it might be hard to remember being teenagers. And the people who start eating plans without a buddy that you are referring to are probably also adults.

I totally understand why she needs her mother with her there, and I am glad that the mother decided to go after all.


Thanks for understanding :hug:

Coondocks
07-22-2010, 09:03 PM
That came off a bit harsh, not sure if you meant it that way.

I sympathize with this young girl. She is only 15. She needs support and confidence, and that's what parents do for young girls. Give them support and confidence. We are adults, and it might be hard to remember being teenagers. And the people who start eating plans without a buddy that you are referring to are probably also adults.

I totally understand why she needs her mother with her there, and I am glad that the mother decided to go after all.

I am in total agreement with you jillianfan.
I don't think at 15 or 16 I was in a position to buy my own food, understand the dynamics of how the body uses nutrients, the importance of weight training etc.
I couldn't imagine trying to change my lifestyle - and frankly at 15 I would have thought it impossible, being the dramatic teenager I was :) But I really couldn't have imagined trying to do that in a healthy, long term manner with out my mom.

**** Im in my 30s and there are still some things I wish I could bring my mom with me on, Mom's make things better :)

IndieSoul
07-23-2010, 12:18 AM
I agree with you both, Coondocks and Jillianfan. What's so bad about needing my mother there for support? I can't drive, don't have a job, have school to worry about as well and I just don't feel ready to take on some things by myself at this time. Weight loss is one of them.

jillianfan
07-23-2010, 01:01 AM
I agree with you both, Coondocks and Jillianfan. What's so bad about needing my mother there for support? I can't drive, don't have a job, have school to worry about as well and I just don't feel ready to take on some things by myself at this time. Weight loss is one of them.

I think its great that you got the support and encouragement from your mother. :hug: We are all rooting for you!

rachinma
07-23-2010, 10:04 AM
That came off a bit harsh, not sure if you meant it that way.

I sympathize with this young girl. She is only 15. She needs support and confidence, and that's what parents do for young girls. Give them support and confidence. We are adults, and it might be hard to remember being teenagers. And the people who start eating plans without a buddy that you are referring to are probably also adults.

I totally understand why she needs her mother with her there, and I am glad that the mother decided to go after all.
Well, I *did* mean it that way, but I didn't know she was only 15. :o

I still think it's dangerous to rely on another person for your own success. You're providing yourself with a ready excuse to fail. It's self-defeating. Remember that your mom is not perfect. While she may fail or let you down, you do not need to let it hold you back.

It's great that you're making a plan now. Being an overweight teen is hard, and it only gets harder to make changes once you become an overweight adult. I wish you much success.

IndieSoul
07-23-2010, 01:53 PM
I'm not relying on my mother entirely. I'm old enough to make my own decisions keeping in mind the possible consequences. All I meant was that my mother is who guides me on this journey because she has more experience with weight loss, WW, etc. I'm not following her every move and decision.

jillianfan
07-23-2010, 02:11 PM
I'm not relying on my mother entirely. I'm old enough to make my own decisions keeping in mind the possible consequences. All I meant was that my mother is who guides me on this journey because she has more experience with weight loss, WW, etc. I'm not following her every move and decision.

It's okay, sweety, we are not judging you. Well, most of us, anyhow. :) I know that you can do it on your own, but it sure is helpful having support, isn't it?:)

Coondocks
07-23-2010, 02:11 PM
Just from a logical stand point - at that age I think you do have to rely on some one else to be successful.
As she said, she can't drive yet, doesnt have a job to afford to by different groceries of her own - how do you eat healthy foods if the rest of the family is eating junk and you rely on them to buy the gorceries? Guidance from some one that has taken the steps before - regardless of how successful they may or may not have been is always a huge help at least to me.

Kudos to you Indiesoul for making the steps to change and educating yourself, good for you. :)

IndieSoul
07-23-2010, 03:43 PM
Thanks ladies :hug: Yes support does help, especially from 3FC.

going2bskinny
07-23-2010, 05:52 PM
Wow I think we have all experienced this. I waited and wasted so many years waiting for someone to do it with me and help me and I really regret it now. You CAN do this without your mom just keep up what your doing and do the best that you can. You are only 16 that is great! Stick with what you are doing and don't give up no matter if you have to do it alone because if you do you will look back on it later and regret it and have more weight to lose and more health problems that you could avoid all together from doing it now. I know it's very hard but we are here for you and most of us I'm sure are probably doing it alone also I know I am :D