Weight Loss Support - Trouble Letting Go of Old Clothes




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audrina
07-19-2010, 10:37 PM
Well I'm having a hard time today. Over the weekend I bought a size 12 jeans, which I haven't worn since I was in high school. Needless to say the majority of my clothes are now FALLING off me, and I look bad.

My therapist told me it's important that I get rid of my clothes that are too big for me, and I've been doing a pretty good job at that up until today. I have two pairs of pants, some exercise clothes, and 6 items of clothing hanging in my closet along with a pile of clothes on my bed that are just falling off me and need to be thrown out [most of my clothes have holes or are damaged which is why I'm not donating them, and throwing them away is really theraputic for me, it's like throwing away that part of my life.]

I can't let them go. My mother agreed to buy me a temporary wardrobe which I am greatful of so I know I can let go of them, but why is this so hard? It's unbelievable to me that I am under 200lbs and a size 12 and I'm terrified I'm just going to return to my original size.

I know I'm going to keep working hard and be even slimmer before long but man, it's hard. I'm not used to this.


0o0o KimoKawaii o0o0
07-19-2010, 10:49 PM
Well I'm having a hard time today. Over the weekend I bought a size 12 jeans, which I haven't worn since I was in high school. Needless to say the majority of my clothes are now FALLING off me, and I look bad.

My therapist told me it's important that I get rid of my clothes that are too big for me, and I've been doing a pretty good job at that up until today. I have two pairs of pants, some exercise clothes, and 6 items of clothing hanging in my closet along with a pile of clothes on my bed that are just falling off me and need to be thrown out [most of my clothes have holes or are damaged which is why I'm not donating them, and throwing them away is really theraputic for me, it's like throwing away that part of my life.]

I can't let them go. My mother agreed to buy me a temporary wardrobe which I am greatful of so I know I can let go of them, but why is this so hard? It's unbelievable to me that I am under 200lbs and a size 12 and I'm terrified I'm just going to return to my original size.

I know I'm going to keep working hard and be even slimmer before long but man, it's hard. I'm not used to this.




Well at first i thought that was kind of strange........i thought to myself "i'd die to be a size 12, i'd be going nuts in clothing stores!" hahaha!

But the truth is, a lot of time you're nervous it's not going to last.
You're subconscious is afraid of a relapse......and perhaps that's why you're afraid to let go!?
That, and sometimes people who have been overweight all their lives and have become accustom to not being viewed as "the pretty one" in a crowd, or to not being teased, or to not wearing their big-clothes!, and they have a hard time getting use to being smaller, and more confident, and wearing the more confident/reveling clothing..........you know!?



Just keep up the strong work, and remember YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF TO GET TO WHERE YOU ARE..........ENJOY IT!
You DESERVE to be in those cute jeans, you DESERVE those cute tops, and you DESERVE TO BE, and SHOULD BE, HAPPY at your new found size!!



:hug:


++Violet++

thesame7lbs
07-19-2010, 10:57 PM
I just posted about this in the maintainer's forum. I couldn't decide what to do. Some said, "Pitch 'em! It's part of making the commitment to your new lifestyle. It's your statement that you're not going back!" Others said that they packed away the clothes for a year before donating them.

I'm planning on packing mine in a bin and putting them in the basement until we move next summer. I will not take them with me.

Part of my positive self-talk is that I remind myself that now that I know about calorie-counting, and now that I log every bite on Daily Plate, I have the tools not to regain. Before it was all a mystery (how much can I eat without regaining?). Now I pretty much know. It is in my hands.


ETA: 80 lbs lost! Way to go Audrina!


audrina
07-19-2010, 11:16 PM
Well at first i thought that was kind of strange........i thought to myself "i'd die to be a size 12, i'd be going nuts in clothing stores!" hahaha!

But the truth is, a lot of time you're nervous it's not going to last.
You're subconscious is afraid of a relapse......and perhaps that's why you're afraid to let go!?
That, and sometimes people who have been overweight all their lives and have become accustom to not being viewed as "the pretty one" in a crowd, or to not being teased, or to not wearing their big-clothes!, and they have a hard time getting use to being smaller, and more confident, and wearing the more confident/reveling clothing..........you know!?



Just keep up the strong work, and remember YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF TO GET TO WHERE YOU ARE..........ENJOY IT!
You DESERVE to be in those cute jeans, you DESERVE those cute tops, and you DESERVE TO BE, and SHOULD BE, HAPPY at your new found size!!



:hug:


++Violet++

I know how much different I thought it would be for me when I started out at about your weight, I couldn't wait to get down to a size 12. Now I'm here and there's not as much jubilation as I thought there would be.

For me I know it's terrified that I'll go back to my old weight, that this isn't for real. When I look in the mirror I still see someone hugely overweight and I'm not happy with the way that I look and i know that has so much to do with it.

It's weird thinking about the clothes that will fit me now, I am wearing a size I wore in high school and it's just ... well shocking. I guess maybe I should take some comfort in the fact that I haven't weighed this little at during any of my attempts to lose weight, so maybe this time it IS for real, but I just can't be confident about it.

Thank you for your kind words, I know how right you are.

I just posted about this in the maintainer's forum. I couldn't decide what to do. Some said, "Pitch 'em! It's part of making the commitment to your new lifestyle. It's your statement that you're not going back!" Others said that they packed away the clothes for a year before donating them.

I'm planning on packing mine in a bin and putting them in the basement until we move next summer. I will not take them with me.

Part of my positive self-talk is that I remind myself that now that I know about calorie-counting, and now that I log every bite on Daily Plate, I have the tools not to regain. Before it was all a mystery (how much can I eat without regaining?). Now I pretty much know. It is in my hands.


ETA: 80 lbs lost! Way to go Audrina!

My therapist says that people who hang on to their clothes usually have an easier time going back to their old size, and that by getting rid of the clothes it makes it easier to not go back. Throwing them out is important to me, but it's weird when you're down to nothing and I just don't believe that I am. These are the clothes I've been wearing for years because I hate shopping so much, it's weird to see the last of them go down the garbage chute.

You are right, I log my calories too and it IS in my power to not regain the weight and go back. If I just stick with what I'm doing I'll continue to go down like I want to and hopefully I'll never go back.

Thanks for the congrats!! It's been a lot of hard work :)


It's just ... hard to let go.

Lori Bell
07-19-2010, 11:33 PM
My therapist says that people who hang on to their clothes usually have an easier time going back to their old size, and that by getting rid of the clothes it makes it easier to not go back....
It's just ... hard to let go.
Your therapist never met me...lol :D (and about 20 other people I have known!)

I have given away fat clothes so many times that I cringe to think of all the money I wasted on myself. This time I have kept every thing, neatly packed in totes from size 8 to 30. (I'm currently in a size 6). This is also the longest I have EVER maintained my weight...(over a year now after losing 190+ pounds) I know the clothes are there, but knowing they are there is not making me go out and buy a truck load of ice cream... Sometimes doing things differently than what you always did before works too. ;) But I have a big ol' farm house with lots of room. If I lived in an apartment or a small house/condo, things might be different.

Congrats on the weight loss, that is terrific. Don't be afraid to let go, you will not gain the weight back if you decide not to! :hug:

audrina
07-19-2010, 11:50 PM
Your therapist never met me...lol :D (and about 20 other people I have known!)

I have given away fat clothes so many times that I cringe to think of all the money I wasted on myself. This time I have kept every thing, neatly packed in totes from size 8 to 30. (I'm currently in a size 6). This is also the longest I have EVER maintained my weight...(over a year now after losing 190+ pounds) I know the clothes are there, but knowing they are there is not making me go out and buy a truck load of ice cream... Sometimes doing things differently than what you always did before works too. ;) But I have a big ol' farm house with lots of room. If I lived in an apartment or a small house/condo, things might be different.

Congrats on the weight loss, that is terrific. Don't be afraid to let go, you will not gain the weight back if you decide not to! :hug:


Thanks and congrats in your weight loss success!! That's very encouraging.

I used to be a size 20 - 22 and all of those clothes are long since gone. Now all of my plus size clothes are gone too. I can see where my therapist is coming from with the recomendation to toss the clothes, and I think that for me personally it's good advice. It's so shameful for me to even look at those clothes, I really hate that I gained as much weight as I did, looked the way that I did and that my body will never be what it used to be.

Cglasscock1
07-20-2010, 02:24 AM
Let them all go. You're a new person now and you deserve to look your best.
I can't tell you how many pairs of size 12 and 14 pants, size L/XL tops and size 14 jackets I got rid of about 3 months ago. I sold some of my work attire in consignment shops and donated a ton to the Waterfront Mission. I also cringe when I think about how much was invested in me being that size person. But now that it is all gone I am actually looking forward to getting rid of my size 10 pants in exchange for size 8 or maybe even size 6 (dare I say?)
I do look forward to the day when all my underwear, bras, pants, shirts, coats and even shoes and ring sizes will be the size that I look forward to maintaining .... forever!

grrrkgrrrl
07-20-2010, 04:37 AM
as you see from the replies, in terms of weight maintenance, some people found it helpful to throw away their old clothes, and for some it didn't make a difference.
people are different, and what is important to one is not important to another. I, too, have thrown away my bigger sizes but i have kept SOME items that were of sentimental value to me. i have not kept them with any intent to wear them again, and they are not in plain sight (they're in storage boxes with other sentimental bits and bobs).

if you're keeping some clothes for this reason, i do not see why you MUST throw them away..

Hamoco350
07-20-2010, 07:25 AM
I'm not as far along as most who have responded but I've definitely gotten too small for my old clothes at this point. I plan on selling them at a yard sale. I would give them to Goodwill but I need the extra cash at the moment.

My thoughts on this are pretty simple - you are using the clothes as a safety net because you are afraid of falling off this mountain of success you've climbed. You also seem fearful of letting yourself stop and appreciate what you've done - you have really accomplished something, chick. Don't even assume you will fall back, don't let yourself think that even for a nanosecond.

Those clothes are like a skin you've shed. You can keep it as a reminder, but from reading your initial post, I recommend you try burning them. Sounds extreme, but I've done the 'setting nasty reminders of the past on fire' thing and it works like a charm. Me and the bestie have made an annual thing out of it. ;)

Just don't lose faith in yourself!

caryesings
07-20-2010, 09:27 AM
I focused on how worn out you said the big clothes are. I found many of my clothes were in too bad of shape to donate so why was I wearing them even when they fit. For this reason I say go ahead and toss them. If you ever do need to go up a size again, you can buy presentable clothes.

Nada
07-20-2010, 10:52 AM
For me, getting rid of my fat clothes has stopped several slides. So I get rid of my fat clothes as soon as I can. Can't be fat AND naked, now can I? Tight clothes are great motivation for me to wake up when I fall asleep at the wheel of weight loss/maintenance.

Although I really wish I'd kept my largest pair of jeans for comparison purposes.

souvenirdarling
07-20-2010, 11:29 AM
I can understand you, I have that issues with clothes too, especially the fancier or dressier items.

So I shove them in a box, way up high in my closet, and after a while I realise, wow, I haven't missed those items at all! I should give them away!

audrina
07-20-2010, 01:30 PM
For me, getting rid of my fat clothes has stopped several slides. So I get rid of my fat clothes as soon as I can. Can't be fat AND naked, now can I? Tight clothes are great motivation for me to wake up when I fall asleep at the wheel of weight loss/maintenance.

Although I really wish I'd kept my largest pair of jeans for comparison purposes.

That exactly is what I think.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I do feel anxiety letting go of the clothes because they are my safety net. If any of you could see how big my other pair of jeans are on me you'd laugh at the thought of me keeping them.

I was able to throw away most of the clothes last night, other than the pair of jeans, but I'm going to do that as soon as I get home. You know what? There is no going back, and I just won't do it. I have no use for those clothes, they are so worn out and don't fit anymore, and I deserve to have some clothes that fit.

I'm the only one in charge of my weight, so if I'm worried about gaining the weight back and I do, that's nobody's fault but my own.

rachinma
07-20-2010, 05:18 PM
I have my high-end clothes tailored. The rest go to the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul or to friends.

I loooove getting rid of clothes. Also, it feels good to simplify.

saef
07-20-2010, 05:45 PM
I used to fetishize my wardrobe a bit too much: I told myself I was building a wardrobe of "timeless classics" & that each piece represented an investment.

And then of course the timeless classics got dated as five years passed, then seven, then 10 ...

I think because when I was fat, finding an item of clothing that was flattering, affordable & of good quality -- hitting all three sweet spots -- took so damned long. I had to invest a lot of time & effort & often money to get something up to my standards. And I had to endure a lot of pain in fitting rooms & a lot of humiliation & a lot of residual sadness afterward when things just didn't work out with stuff I'd taken off the rack so hopefully.

Buying clothes hurt so much.

Now that I'm in a more average size range, and my options are so much wider, one of my privileges is that I think of clothes as nearly the ultimate disposable possession. Once you no longer have to hunt all day to get something decent for yourself & that also fits, they become so easly replaceable. You can be very particular. And you can afford to treat the plethora of options with disdain. I mean, there are so many of them out there -- so many malls, so many stores, so many online catalogs, so many outlet stores, so many thrift shops, eBay, you name it. Probably thousands & thousands of clothing items for every person in the U.S. There's never going to be a shortage. There's always more where that came from.

So you can get rid of a shirt or pair of jeans without compunction, because you will likely find something just as good or even better later on, and possibly pay even less for it. And when it's had its wear, you should be able to shed it easily.

Really, this has been a major shift in my mindset & it has made it much easier to keep my closets & chest of drawers in order.

FannyMae
07-20-2010, 05:54 PM
I refuse to give away my "fat" clothes because I am very superstitious. I just know as soon as I give them away I will start to gain again. Just like I refuse to bug clothes in my ideal size cause I know when I do I will stop losing! I feel bad that I have garbage bags full of clothes that do not fit but then again I use it as motivation to keep going and adding to the the piles. Sometimes I take out a pair of my old size 22 pants and compare them to my new size 14 pants and realize wow I really have made progress! Good luck! I hope you find what works for you!