[bnorah]

Is it possible to want to sabbatoge yourself because you just aren't ready for that lifestyle change yet? Or maybe because you don't want to lose too much before the big event.

My BFF is getting married in two weeks, and I just have put my dress in the shop yesterday for alterations. I bought it as a size 22(which I still don't understand because I wear a 14 in jeans). Luckily they are able to take it in about 1-2 inches around the wast and bust line. I was tickled pink. Now that could have been more if I was able to stick with my diet better. Could it be that I'm sabbatoging myself so that I don't lose too much weight before her big day? I've thought about this a lot and I just wouldn't have the time to have the dress altered again before the wedding. I've been sitting at 180 lbs for a month, and can't seem to budge!! It's agravating, but I hope to break through soon when my stress levels decrease after the wedding.

So do you think I'm doing the right thing by maintaining my current weight until after her wedding? Or am I just setting myself for a struggle that shouldn't have to exist?

[gardenerjoy]

Practicing maintenance seems like a good idea to me. I anticipate doing that the next time I stall. There's a difference between "practicing maintenance" and "going back to the way I used to eat." So, as long as you are keeping some semblance of attention and control of what you eat and continuing to do some exercise (which will help with the stress), I think you're doing fine. Have fun at the wedding!

[kaplods]

Self-sabotage?

Possible? Yes. True? Well that's an entirely different question, and only one you can answer.

There's nothing wrong with choosing to maintain any weight, for any reason - as long as it's your reason (and ideally one you're aware of). Only you can say whether losing more weight would be worth the hassle of last minute alterations.

As for sabotage (whether from others or from yourself), I think the term is overused. I think people resist change (and change in others) for a lot of reasons, and negative, hostile, or unconscious self-defeating motives aren't necessarily at the top of the list.

If you have problems sticking to changes, I think it's jumping to conclusions to say that on some level you don't want to succeed. I think the more common reason is plain old inertia. Everyone finds change difficult, especially drastic changes.

Weight loss is an easy concept, but difficult in reality. It's a bit like music, dance or chess. Anything with a mental and physical component. Learning the basics is easy, but putting them into practice is an entirely different matter.

And then there are physiological components too (some foods truly do act in the body much like addictive drugs).


As for practical advice for the wedding. Maintaining your weight, requires most of the same skills and actions as losing weight, and most of the effort. Your goals are your own, though and there is no "right" answer - only right for you (and only you can decide that).

If you do decide to try to lose, and you "only" end up losing only a little or even none at all - don't beat yourself over it, because even maintenance is an acheivement worth celebrating.

[rockinrobin]

I was going to say something similar to Kaplods.

Self sabotage? What does that mean really? I think it's a fancy term for not putting forth the effort that is needed to get the job done. In other words, I don't think it's a CONSCIOUS decision to undermine yourself, not for the wedding or anything else.

I've been sitting at 180 lbs for a month, and can't seem to budge!! It's agravating, but I hope to break through soon when my stress levels decrease after the wedding.

You can't seem to budge? Well *budging* takes work, effort, thought, planning, ACTION. Hoping to break through when your stress levels decrease? I don't know - won't there be something else to stress about??? You can't hope for it - you've got go WORK for it. Hoping is not going to do it. Nope. Work. Continuous, non-stop work. And I really hate to use the word work, because once you ALLOW yourself to do this, it's not *really* work - it's automatic, second nature. Just what you do.

I think folks make it a lot harder than need be with all the starts and stops and starts and stops and stops and stops. Push through it. Continue.

As for a better time to start adhering to a healthy lifestyle? There is no better or more perfect time that now. Right now.

[caryesings]

First, don't use excuse of dress not fitting if you do lose because you're not going to lose enough in 2 weeks to make any size difference.

I also am uncomfortable when I hear people blame their diet slip-ups as "self sabotage". If you forget to floss do you think that you secretly want to lose your teeth? If you skip a monthly self breast exam, do you mentally beat yourself up? No, we mess up because it's easier to mess up than stick to it. But somehow when it comes to diet and exercise, many of us want to read deeper motivations into it.

Rant over.

[bnorah]

I guess I'm just stressing about this wedding because I don't want to have a dress that is too big (or small for that matter) and not be able to be in my friend's wedding party. I love her dearly and want to be a part of her celebration. I think things will be easier when I don't have a formal dress to fit into and can get back into a regular committed routine of fitness and nutrition.

[jendiet]

I THINK maintenance is an excellent thing to practice.